dude go meet ppl . no one is asking you to open up what ppl are saying is be just a normal person ..... it seems almost like youve decided youre a statistic . If you have none of us can help you. If youre willing to let that go then we all can help .
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Being black makes me not want to go outside sometimes
- Thread starter M52B28
- Start date
dude go meet ppl . no one is asking you to open up what ppl are saying is be just a normal person ..... it seems almost like youve decided youre a statistic . If you have none of us can help you. If youre willing to let that go then we all can help .
I didn't mean it that way though, just to be clear. I really just feel that racists are worthless parasites and that's what they should be treated like. OP seems like a very decent person and he'd be an even better person if he gained a bit more confidence, that's all. I understand some things are easier said than done, and since I'm not black I can't pretend to know what it feels like, I'm just hopeful that things can change.
FrozenCell
Member
excelsiorlef
Member
What?
excelsiorlef
Member
It's not a lack of confidence...Confidence has nothing to do with this.
And what do you mean by he'd be an even better person?
Yes, the Bay Area is an accepting place, but to what amount?
I am myself, there's no getting around that.
I don't believe that people hate me, I feel like many are dismissive of their behavior, especially many of the liberal people in the Bay Area. There's many that live here, vote Democratic and say that "Black Lives Matter" and still commit disgusting micro-agressions every day.
I have a group that I stick with, and it's a pretty diverse group, but that's all I've got.
Despite this having not much to do with any of this, it's not as if I lack confidence. I can take control of many situations with ease and come across as an overconfident asshole if I'd like, but that shit gets tiring. I have a developed straight posture 90% of the time and a pretty deep voice, I know how to use it.
How would this fix the issue the op is experiencing?
WaterAstro
Member
Well, I wouldn't go out because I don't want to step on human poop.
Posts like this don't fucking help at all. For some reason you've decided that OP is some lonely dude who's situation is remedied by "meeting ppl" despite him not saying anything in regard to that. People wonder why poc want safe spaces. Not everyone wants to sit down and validate their experiences with people who already decided they made it up.
ryutaro's mama
Member
That has never, ever in my life changed any preconceived notions about me and besides, why the fuck should he need to wear specific attire in order to be treated with decency?!?
This is it everyone. This is the secret that has eluded societies since the beginning of time. Wear a suit and tie at all times and no one will prejudge you. Goddamn Vamp. This is some Nobel prize level shit.
I hear ya OP. I do my best to avoid walking behind people for too long, among other things, because yea, at some point I just internalized it as well. Didn't even get a talk or anything; one day it just hit me that all these little coincidences... weren't coincidences.
The majority of this post is extremely weird...
The majority of this post is extremely weird...
I guess it's because they believe that it would be a way to appease people into thinking I'm not a threat, but look what has happened to so many black people that donned those things.
Lev
Member
D
Deleted member 10571
Unconfirmed Member
ryutaro's mama
Member
So you want to be a celebrity POC in your next life who is rich, famous and has "transcended" race...ok.
And for the record, nope, this comment doesn't make me feel better.
If it's not actually a confidence thing then ignore my comments. Just know that shitty people will always be a problem and I don't really think there's a solution to them besides ignoring them. The fact that we still have racism even after all this time is just embarrassing for humanity.
It's beyond being a celebrity. I just think they're extremely inspirational.
no as my follow up post made clear op does have things to worry about if at one of the most liberal places in our current world he/she still feels persecuted. We can help but without concreate details of wrong doing I am putting yes half the blame on op.
he literally says he feels like a statistic in his own words. You cant solve the world of all ills neither can you solve every poc's questions by making it extreme and this is coming from a poc
Because SF is labeled as "progressive", are you suggesting that racism, in a way, is dead here?
Im saying I dont believe your op post fully. You say things like
"It's as if I don't belong in some places, despite being generally a person that's first to help. "
ppl who are the first to help hardly ever say it out loud.
now as i have said again and again i believe there are issues to be resolved. But you might be over reacting .
RuinerPrime
Member
lol
this is a baffling post
"It sucks that you let ̶t̶h̶e̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ RACISM get to you"
LookAtMeGo
Member
What the fuck are you talking about man? You dont believe the OP is dealing with racism because he said he is someone that likes to help people? Like, what kind if shit is that?
Oh, do you think I'm not telling the truth?
My sense of belonging and my ability to react and provide help to someone is something that shouldn't be combined. Despite me not feeling like I belong in many places due to my skin type, that doesn't mean that I lose my moral compass. Regardless of skin tone, I will do my best to help anyone, if possible.
It's safe to say that you're missing something from everything that I've posted.
no im saying that you are correct but im not convinced youre not overstating things on both ends ... and that that nothing to do with your skin tone. Agree.
That's what I mean. OP has to validate his experiences to you cause you can't fanthom this being real for anyone because you only live life through your own skin and can't put yourself in the shoes of others. You lack perspective and your input isn't healthy in this conversation nor wanted
what skin you talking about brown skin?
I don't live in the US but I know that feeling OP. At this point in my life I've just accepted no matter how I present myself, there's always going to be someone who feels threatened by my melanin.
Only thing to do at that point is just laugh at their irrationality and accept there is nothing you can change about yourself that'll make them any less irrational. No clothing, no shoes, no car, no talk or walk, or smile... there is nothing you can do that'll change that.
If its that bad though that leaving your place all together is a problem and you have the ability to move to friendlier parts, I'd consider it. But I understand, thats not as simple as it sounds.
I dont know what else to say OP, I hope I helped.
Only thing to do at that point is just laugh at their irrationality and accept there is nothing you can change about yourself that'll make them any less irrational. No clothing, no shoes, no car, no talk or walk, or smile... there is nothing you can do that'll change that.
If its that bad though that leaving your place all together is a problem and you have the ability to move to friendlier parts, I'd consider it. But I understand, thats not as simple as it sounds.
I dont know what else to say OP, I hope I helped.
Some Nobody
Junior Member
This makes me wonder what I'm willfully ignoring as a black dude in the South. I dunno, I just wear headphones and go where I'm gonna go. It's wholly possible I make white folks nervous as shit and I'm too caught up playing music to listen.
I do know that I always feel like I have to be some kind of model citizen, and I always feel less relaxed when I'm in primarily white spaces. Scared I might do something and suddenly look like a fuckin' stereotype. Which is...shameful, but I dunno. 18 years of being raised by a black mom who grew up in the 60's will do that to you, I guess?
I do know that I always feel like I have to be some kind of model citizen, and I always feel less relaxed when I'm in primarily white spaces. Scared I might do something and suddenly look like a fuckin' stereotype. Which is...shameful, but I dunno. 18 years of being raised by a black mom who grew up in the 60's will do that to you, I guess?
i am completely within my rights and my legitimate opinion to disagree with op without being someone who doesnt get complex race issues. i can get those issues and still disagree with op. If you dont get that thats your problem
There's nothing to disagree with though. OP is describing their experiences and you called them a liar for it.
i said he/she could be over stating and over reacting. I did not call him/her a liar reread my posts.
edit: and i said i dont believe the blanket statement op is as kind a person as op believes . which is a very reasonable. we all sometimes think the best of ourselves many a times wrongly.
Vicetrailia
Member
OP, my want to move to a darker city when you are done with your degree. Chicago has especially been good to my mom after living in Charleston and SF.
Sorry to all of you experiencing this. From myself as a white person who has undoubtedly contributed at some point.
For my own part I will call out any kind of racism I see, at this point it's like a tick I can't control for better or worse (worse as in I'll probably get myself in physical peril at some point). I'm also pretty sure I'll be called out for trying to be a hero at some point, and I'm certainly not trying to be one, but at this point I think I've had enough comfort.
You're not alone in dealing with this shit OP and others, sorry it took some of us this long to realise what you've been living with forever.
Ishan, your tone and word choices /never/ do your posts any favours.
You're also way off fucking point ITT.
For my own part I will call out any kind of racism I see, at this point it's like a tick I can't control for better or worse (worse as in I'll probably get myself in physical peril at some point). I'm also pretty sure I'll be called out for trying to be a hero at some point, and I'm certainly not trying to be one, but at this point I think I've had enough comfort.
You're not alone in dealing with this shit OP and others, sorry it took some of us this long to realise what you've been living with forever.
Ishan, your tone and word choices /never/ do your posts any favours.
You're also way off fucking point ITT.
FIREKNIGHT2029
Member
I'm a 6'6" black guy and I know that feel all too well.
It sucks though but I've grown accustomed to ignoring it. Fuck 'em, I'm not letting ignorant ass people ever make me feel bad about myself. I'm proud to be black and anyone that has a problem with it or is scared of me because of my skin color can eat shit.
It sucks though but I've grown accustomed to ignoring it. Fuck 'em, I'm not letting ignorant ass people ever make me feel bad about myself. I'm proud to be black and anyone that has a problem with it or is scared of me because of my skin color can eat shit.
"ppl who are the first to help hardly ever say it out loud".
What are you basing this on?
Self-awareness isn't necessarily a condition that would preclude a person from actually being what they describe themselves as. And this also applies to how op perceives the acts of others and the effect it has on him.
You are in fact calling OP a liar. You're also trying to say he's a not so pleasant person. You are sitting here trying to invalidate what he's experiencing. You seem like the asshole here to me and you perfectly illustrate why people want safe spaces
I mean thats one way of saying "I fucked up by making an assumption about OPs experience of racism".
I mean its good that you're trying. ¬_¬
I'm really sorry you have to experience that OP. I can't even imagine what that must feel like, but I'm glad that you do go outside. You make the world a better place with your presence and your courage just to show up, be you, and turn what you've experienced into your gifting. No person should have to worry about the things you describe. I'm sure it's even harder in this political climate, but please don't give up.
I always think about how folks read me when I have an awkward eye contact moment with a black person. I try to be sure to smile, but I suddenly become hyper aware of my body language and eye contact. I'm socially awkward enough as it is too.
I always think about how folks read me when I have an awkward eye contact moment with a black person. I try to be sure to smile, but I suddenly become hyper aware of my body language and eye contact. I'm socially awkward enough as it is too.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Next time just nod. But nod your head downwards to avoid any confusion.
We've gone full Larry David here ya'll
Snoopycat
Banned
Next time you feel anxious just put your hand out and say, "wah gwaan bredren, walk good man." It'll get a laugh.
This really hurts. I literally had to stop watching that show I related so much.
To be honest though, I just want everybody I come into contact with to have a better day afterward. Stupid anxiety loves to get in the way.
I can't hope to understand, but in theory this kind of thing sounds awful.
Obviously this shit can be more pronounced but, in terms of death by a thousand cuts, I've got to know this guy from the rugby club I take my son to. In the simplest terms he's an Asian guy and his wife is white. He was telling me that when his wife takes his kids out people will coo over them. When he does it alone, no one ever approaches him/his kids (and they're cute, Mediterranean looking kids kids). He's not upset about it and, of course, you can interpret things in all sorts of ways cos there are other variables. But it just struck me as incredibly sad.
I don't know if that's relevant. But I thought I'd share an anecdote as I'm at the club with him now!
Obviously this shit can be more pronounced but, in terms of death by a thousand cuts, I've got to know this guy from the rugby club I take my son to. In the simplest terms he's an Asian guy and his wife is white. He was telling me that when his wife takes his kids out people will coo over them. When he does it alone, no one ever approaches him/his kids (and they're cute, Mediterranean looking kids kids). He's not upset about it and, of course, you can interpret things in all sorts of ways cos there are other variables. But it just struck me as incredibly sad.
I don't know if that's relevant. But I thought I'd share an anecdote as I'm at the club with him now!
rokkerkory
Member
Dang in bay area too 
I feel bad man it shouldnt be this way
I feel bad man it shouldnt be this way
DustyVonEric
Member
Dude, old people crossing the street when they see a black guy has looong been a thing. For decades. It happened to me as a child.
Same as being followed in store ailses by security like we roleplaying Pac-Man.
And banging violently on the elevator close button when they see us coming.
Just like being the only one stopped and questioned by police when shit goes down that I wasn't even involved in.
I got thrown out of the damn symphony orchestra, because old white people said I threw shit on them from the higher seats.
So please stop with the "it's probably a sketchy dude out on his own thing".
Whenever a black dude says this is the way life is for them, always an other person comes in with denial or ridicule.
As a white man, the only thing even remotely close to this for me would be girls calling someone on the phone, looking nervous or walking to the other side of the street at night if I'm the only other person there. It happens from time to when walking home late from a night out.
Now again, not the same, but I can imagine having that happen with everyone you see must feel like shit.
Now again, not the same, but I can imagine having that happen with everyone you see must feel like shit.