practice02
Banned
literally couldn't have said it better myselfDY_nasty said:
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Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?
- Thread starter Combine
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Women on facebook are TERRIFYING. And by that, I mean witnessing them using it is a horror movie. My mother, sister, aunts, cousins, grandma, other girls, girls I've been with, etc. are all the same. Looking at pictures of people they hate constantly, doing nothing but making fun of them all day in between their Farmville reaping sessions and recording pointless nothings and posting them on their friend's pages, gossiping with people on Facebook chat and/or with anyone around them physically to the point where it can make a man physically ill. The internet has transformed the female social life into a monstrous impenetrable web of things I don't even want to try and understand.beermonkey@tehbias said:
practice02
Banned
So what is facebook good for if not for all the things you listed?Jayge said:
Shouldn't be, really. I don't like to text that much (unless I'm in a situation where I can't talk) so I usually just give people a call if I need to ask them something real quick or tell them about something, etc. One friend of mine actually called me out on it and told me I was "acting like a fruit" :lol because I like to call people instead. Although I'd rather talk face-to-face anytime.MoxManiac said:
Edit: although some people will be totally bewildered about how to contact you when they learn you don't have a facebook or a twitter. Texting doesn't even occur to them anymore.
MoxManiac said:
I consider people odd if they don't have certain things. If I meet you, I expect you to have the following:
cell phone
text messaging
facebook or e-mail
Internet access at home
car (in Los Angeles, this is very important)
If you don't have one of those,you miss out on things and make it inconvenient for others. For example, if you don't have a cell phone, I have to rely on e-mail, which maybe you don't check every day... so a timely message may lapse to the next day. If you don't have Facebook, small talk is going to go over things which you would already know and seen pictures of if you had had Facebook. If you don't have a car in Los Angeles, cabs are expensive, so you likely have to take the bus or find a ride if we meet up somewhere.
Now am I still friends with people lacking some of these things? Sure, but it's inconvenient having to work around these minor hurdles. It also poses the bigger question of, "Why do you not have something that most people expect you to have?" Is it laziness? No desire to stay apprised of what your friends are doing? Of all my friends, only one is not on Facebook at this point. It's practically mandatory.
MoxManiac said:
Texting has its uses when talking with friends (read: not dating). When you're in an area with poor reception, text messages get through better than a phone call that constantly drops. Same thing when you're in a crowded area, such as a football stadium or crowded festival. If I want you to send me a phone number or address of a mutual friend, it's better to text it if the other person doesn't have a pen and paper handy. It's also more discreet to text in the workplace (phone on silent of course) if you're in an area that is open cubicles, compared to having a personal conversation in front of coworkers.
Like I said, among my social circle, everyone has Facebook. Your group of friends may be different, but you'll definitely get looks and comments of "What are you, weird?" if you say you don't have Facebook around here. You find that not to be the case?
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
There's nothing good about that idea. More importantly, just don't do anything. The part about you saying you're getting obsessed with this one girl, who you've presumably never even talked to/know the name of, shows this is just a stupid crush if anything.therebel said:
I mean, what the fuck?
If you can care more about your pick-up line than the fucking name of the woman, then there's a problem. Be more sociable in general and you won't get in these self-defeating "Take my card, my pretty" obsessions.
DualShadow
Member
Chinner said:
Also have the link to this exact thread perhaps even to his OP.
Beer Monkey
Member
practice02 said:
Bullshit. Never tell them unless they ask.
Jayge said:
Agreed 100%. If you are hot for a chick never let them into your Facebook. There's no good to come out of it. If you think Facebook will help you get them, you are a fool. If they are interested enough in you to do the Facebook thing they are interested enough to talk to you on the phone if you play it right, and the phone is a MUCH better idea.
There is no upside to Facebook unless you are a pathetic introvert with zero true social skills. And if you are the pathetic introvert, you are STILL going to fuck it up even if you Facebook-friend them.
Johnlenham
Member
beermonkey@tehbias said:
You speaking from personal experience? My mate Dan has had atleast 4 relationships in the last few years that lasted from 6 months to a year a piece that all started via either facebook or bebo. The chat is the main thing, its like MSN but less hassle.
You seem pretty angry about a social networking site :lol You didnt get stung by it did you
Oh yeah I forgot you can also put them on limited profile so they cant see much but you can still chat, thats easier I guess.
Hey guys,
There's a lady i like though i have only had one encounter with her and haven't spoken to her since. It's been almost 2 weeks since our encounter and i haven't seen her again.
I found her on Facebook and i was thinking about adding her. How do i come off as a none stalker or desperate?
I would like to leave her a message but am not sure how to go about it without sounding creepy
There's a lady i like though i have only had one encounter with her and haven't spoken to her since. It's been almost 2 weeks since our encounter and i haven't seen her again.
I found her on Facebook and i was thinking about adding her. How do i come off as a none stalker or desperate?
I would like to leave her a message but am not sure how to go about it without sounding creepy
Tenks said:
Think he said he's 41.
Oddly enough, I've found the older people are, the more seriously they take social networking. I've found my older friends (35+) take their Facebook page much more seriously, carefully considering who they friend, what gets posted, what info they share, etc. In this case I don't think it's a case of older=wiser, I think it's a case of older not truly understanding how casual social networking is.
Norwegian Wood said:
Do you have any mutual friends? If so, I'd simply go with "I was looking at so-and-so's profile and saw you on his friends list. Had a good time talking to you when we met"
If you don't have any mutual friends... I dunno how you're not gonna come off as a stalker.
Biff
Member
Don't overthink this.Norwegian Wood said:
If she was really into you, she'll give you the benefit of the doubt and think you're sweet for looking her up.
If she was just being polite and wasn't into you at your first meeting, she'll think you're a stalker and not talk to you. But with that said you didn't have a shot anyway.
"Hey, it's XXX. We met at YYY a couple weeks ago. Glad to see I found you! How have you been doing?"
OMG STALKER.
Just do it man. Fortune favors the bold
c wat i did ther lol
Beer Monkey
Member
Johnlenham said:You seem pretty angry about a social networking site :lol You didnt get stung by it did you
Nope. Never got stung by it. I just don't use it for dating. I don't find that I need to.
If I were using it for dating, I'd definitely go with a limited profile, that's for sure.
TomServo said:
Well, there's different flavors of social networking. I use Linkedin for professional networking and Facebook for people that I have established personal relationships in real life, which is actually how Facebook was once marketed; part of the idea was for it to not be like Myspace where everybody friends everybody regardless of how well they know them or even know them at all. I guess the kids are turning it into Myspace. Personally I'd be OK with adding a serious, exclusive girlfriend but I have no interest in adding every woman that I date (or want to date). Different strokes for different folks I guess.
beermonkey@tehbias said:
I use LinkedIn as well. I have a total of one coworker on Facebook, and even that makes me a bit uneasy.
Generally, if I hang out w/ someone a couple of times socially I'll accept a friend request on FB.
beermonkey@tehbias said:
I can see it being trouble if you're dating multiple women. My friends try to get me to that, but it's not something I can do. In my case it's just a time / energy thing - w/work and my own personal interests one is enough. Often more than enough - the last gf complained that I wasn't "available".
For me iFB networking has been a good thing, if only because it made me realize how small the social scene is where I live. Which is another reason I don't date more than one at a time, I would get caught, no matter what I did. I'd have to implement an area code rule, at the least.
ChefRamsay said:
Or you can say something like "Hey, I normally don't do this, but I saw that you're on FB and I figure I'll send you a little shout out" or whatever.. Just make it sound casual.
If things went well on your first encounter (she was laughing at your jokes, lots of kino, eye contact, etc. etc) then she'll be excited that you messaged her. Like the other posts, don't over think.
BronzeWolf
Banned
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Beer Monkey
Member
TomServo said:
I've run into trouble and it's becoming increasingly difficult. I tend to date artists, teachers, and professors and they all tend to hang out in the same hip, bohemian neighborhood in this city. I'm in serious danger of getting a bad reputation. Even when not dating more than one at once I'm at risk of becoming rumor fodder just for quick serial dating. I need to find somebody I can stick with for a while, but I'm really choosy. I actually decided this week that I need to just focus on my flirting for a while and take care of some personal/professional business and take a break from dating unless I meet somebody who really blows me away. Let things cool off for a bit.
Sucky me. At the gym today, there was a very cute and fit girl working out almost right next to me while I was on the bench. I didn't know what the hell to do. She was so focused and stuff and was pretty constant in her workout, I couldn't figure out if it would even be appropriate to do anything.
I was trying to make eye contact, but I don't think that even worked. If it did I didn't notice, which just shows how crappy I am. I think she was an employee of the gym though cause I'd seen her helping someone out and also at the desk.
I spent several minutes trying to think of something to say, or if I should even say something. And well, you can guess what happened........nothing.
Yep, I still suck.
I was trying to make eye contact, but I don't think that even worked. If it did I didn't notice, which just shows how crappy I am. I think she was an employee of the gym though cause I'd seen her helping someone out and also at the desk.
I spent several minutes trying to think of something to say, or if I should even say something. And well, you can guess what happened........nothing.
Yep, I still suck.
beermonkey@tehbias said:
I almost got hit with that one. Last girl I dated has a mutual friend with the girl I'm dating now. I think if the last girl didn't have a rep for moving way too fast from "dating" to the "relationship zone" I might have been in a little bit of trouble.
Combine said:
Not really. Some people are at the gym to put in work. I know I'm not in a very nice place (mentally) when I'm lifting.
In your shoes I wouldn't do more than make yourself open for eye contact and give a simple "hello" and a smile if eye contact was made. If you get a decent response from that, then you start thinking about what to say.
Gaf, is this girl playing some weird game or what?
I get so many signs she is into me.. constant smiles, she asked me to go to the movies next weekend with her, constant flirting all the time(she is a co-worker)... finally last night when we were selling books at a reading, when we got done and I drove her back to her car I asked her if she wanted to go get some drinks with me on a nicer night(it was like 60-90 mph winds in the Boston area last night), she said "yeah, that'd be fun!" so far so good... Then I'm working with her today, things are pretty normal... just normal talking/flirting/smiling whatever, then when she is packing her stuff to go she is like "have a good weekend joe!" and I go for it again, "so any idea when you wanna go out?"
I realize right here the mistake is that I didn't specify a night. Ugh. I'm a nub at this.
She's like "well I don't really make plans ahead of time so just call me sometime." Basically what I'm feeling is that I have put myself out there and she's barely biting. Like she is obviously interested in me to some extent but have I not made my intentions clear enough? I really need some help here. Is the ball still in my court?
One other thing I should mention is that I know she has some vague dating going on with another guy I think, but I've heard her only say she "likes" him and I know for a fact she's dated like 3 guys at once before, so I don't think that's a huge issue, at least at the moment... I should at least be able to step in and see her myself, maybe turn her my way.
Anyways I'm kind of lost here, and I feel like I'm getting mixed signals. Is this just some girl's game bullshit I'm dealing with here or are things more simple than I feel like they are?
I get so many signs she is into me.. constant smiles, she asked me to go to the movies next weekend with her, constant flirting all the time(she is a co-worker)... finally last night when we were selling books at a reading, when we got done and I drove her back to her car I asked her if she wanted to go get some drinks with me on a nicer night(it was like 60-90 mph winds in the Boston area last night), she said "yeah, that'd be fun!" so far so good... Then I'm working with her today, things are pretty normal... just normal talking/flirting/smiling whatever, then when she is packing her stuff to go she is like "have a good weekend joe!" and I go for it again, "so any idea when you wanna go out?"
I realize right here the mistake is that I didn't specify a night. Ugh. I'm a nub at this.
She's like "well I don't really make plans ahead of time so just call me sometime." Basically what I'm feeling is that I have put myself out there and she's barely biting. Like she is obviously interested in me to some extent but have I not made my intentions clear enough? I really need some help here. Is the ball still in my court?
One other thing I should mention is that I know she has some vague dating going on with another guy I think, but I've heard her only say she "likes" him and I know for a fact she's dated like 3 guys at once before, so I don't think that's a huge issue, at least at the moment... I should at least be able to step in and see her myself, maybe turn her my way.
Anyways I'm kind of lost here, and I feel like I'm getting mixed signals. Is this just some girl's game bullshit I'm dealing with here or are things more simple than I feel like they are?
Mike Works
Member
Why even bother making this post?Combine said:
grap3fruitman
Banned
This is not a negotiation!DY_nasty said:
Dechaios said:
As the guy, the ball is always in your court. You should be controlling the interactions, doing the planning, doing the paying (at least on the first date), handling transportation, etc. If you leave things up to the girl to come to you or figure things out, you're going to be waiting a long time. Occasionally, you'll find a girl who wants to lead and who will jump on you, but that's rare and you'd best not wait for her.
Also, you shouldn't care who she is seeing. If she has more fun with you, she'll want to see you more. Anything else, you have no control over, so don't waste time thinking about it. And yes, things are simple. Any complications are in your head.
The other day in chemistry lab, i totally dropped the ball.... I was talking to one of my lab partners, and he asked me what my plans were for spring break. I told him that I planned on playing a ton of games when I visit home, because there are so many coming out in march. Then this incredibly cute girl in the lab station across from us peaked under the chemical gas vent, and asked me "What games are you planning on picking up?" Completely caught off guard I responded "Oh. I can't say. It's far to nerdy to admit in public..." She laughed, and went back to work.
In retrospect, I think she must be a gamer (at least mildly), and was kinda interested. I'm kicking myself for not continuing the conversation.
I plan on trying to sit by her in chem lecture one day, and showing off my original gameboy/Tetris, that I keep in my backpack. That way I can find out how much of a gamer she is, and maybe get the ball rolling... Good plan GAF?
In retrospect, I think she must be a gamer (at least mildly), and was kinda interested. I'm kicking myself for not continuing the conversation.
I plan on trying to sit by her in chem lecture one day, and showing off my original gameboy/Tetris, that I keep in my backpack. That way I can find out how much of a gamer she is, and maybe get the ball rolling... Good plan GAF?
whitehawk said:I have a girlfriend
You guys don't even understand, I am such a happy man right now
Congrats, I've been out of the "trying to get a girl for a while now" phase because of me moving to China, but now that I'm here, I need some more help. I know no Mandarin, so the question is, do i just go and try and do a chick that doesn't speak my language at all, or try and wait for a girl that speaks english to come along and try to get my first actually relationship going? I heard it is easier to get a girl as a foreigner here.
Also, a fun story, that pissed me the fuck off.
I had been hanging out with this one chick for a while. We had started hanging out a year before this took place, but during that year, she pretty much fell off the map and didn't hang out with me at all. So, a year goes by and she finally starts getting on FB some more and finally gets a cell phone, so I start talking to her again. We hit it off again, we started going out for drinks and I got drunk with her a few times, one at my house and one at hers. So one day she asks me out to drink again and to go eat dinner with her at a Chinese place.
I was freaking happy at this point. "Of course I'll go", I said. Got ready, picked her up, etc. Headed out to the restaurant. All was going well that night till she drops this little bomb.
She starts telling me about how she was brought to this same place by her ex and that he had brought along a friend with benefits, and that had made her uncomfortable. Understandable, I could see why anyone would be uncomfortable with an ex that is talking or even being in the same room with someone that knows you are sleeping with them. It was fine up until now, when immediately after she talked about how weird it was for her, she talks to me about how she had this friend with benefits that was trying to go out with her and she didn't want that.
Well, I was a bit pissed for the rest of the night. Not a bit pissed, rather angry. Especially since at the same time, one of her friends started calling her saying that she had given birth to her baby. That's fine that she took the first call, but for the rest of the night she was pretty much blowing me off for the friend and the kid. We'd be sitting at the bar and she'd just walk outside leaving me alone with my drink.
I just don't understand what went through her head at the time. I mean, if she knew how she felt during her exes escapades, why did she tell me about hers? ESPECIALLY WHEN I'D LOVE TO BE A FUCKING FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!
I mean I did like hanging out with her, she paid for all of her drinks and for the dinner, so it wasn't a date or anything. I also wasn't in the hole with her. She always paid for her part of the night, but damn. I don't think I'm wrong for being pissed off about that night, especially when i thought it was going so well between us. Either way, was I allowed to be mad GAF? Please say yes because I enjoyed being angry with her for that. It was about a month ago, so I'm over it by a long shit, and I'm in China now, so it doesn't really matter anymore.
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