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[jb1234]

This is going to sound weird, but I'm not usually a dreamer when I sleep. Yet ever since I started taking Fluoxetine I've been having dreams much more frequently.

What I remember the most from Fluoxetine is how it wreaked havoc with my reproductive system. Hated that shit.

 

[vatstep]

The amount of shit I have on my to-do list at work (I don't even really keep one of these — it's all in my head) has now crossed over from "have a nervous breakdown if you even try to fathom doing it all" to "okay, this is a joke, right?" status. Meltdown imminent. I don't think I even fucking care anymore. Every day I imagine just... not going anymore. I would be homeless and broke within a matter of months, but man, those months of freedom would be glorious.

 

[Sub_Level]

So I kicked my marijuana habit, I was using it to put a cover over my depression and my problems, to avoid everything by just being numb, went through the whole irritability phase of the withdrawals and everything. I feel more level.

I'm still on the job search, it's really demoralizing when trader joes won't even call you back though. Someone's gotta give me a break though right?

Sometimes you have to call them back or go right to their place of business and ask about the status of your application. At least that's the way it works for menial labor jobs (I'm 21 and those are what I have experience with)

For the last three jobs I've gotten, I had to make followups myself. Otherwise they take your application, look at it, and throw it in the pile with the rest. If you ask about it after a short period of time, you become bigger on their radar.

 

[Visualante2]

You say that but there's like 50+ people applying for every job nowadays. Do you really think a manager wants 50 people phoning up going "how is my application progressing?". If anything I'd expect it to piss them off.

I think pre-2008 it would have worked, but I don't think it's going to matter any more. It's more important to apply within hours or a couple days of it being advertised and really tailor your CV to the business. Reverse engineer the job description to the cover letter. Paper applications are good too, easier to click delete than to get up from your desk and put paper in the bin. Research I've read showed that 70% of people aren't getting even a "sorry we found someone more experienced". It's just the way things are right now.

Further still I've seen stuff saying "do no call in advance" in the instructions. But that's just me. /OT

 

[Sub_Level]

You say that but there's like 50+ people applying for every job nowadays. Do you really think a manager wants 50 people phoning up going "how is my application progressing?". If anything I'd expect it to piss them off.

I think pre-2008 it would have worked, but I don't think it's going to matter any more. It's more important to apply within hours or a couple days of it being advertised and really tailor your CV to the business. Reverse engineer the job description to the cover letter. Paper applications are good too, easier to click delete than to get up from your desk and put paper in the bin. Research I've read showed that 70% of people aren't getting even a "sorry we found someone more experienced". It's just the way things are right now.

Further still I've seen stuff saying "do no call in advance" in the instructions. But that's just me. /OT

I would say it depends on the job. I've only worked at restaurants for the last few years and one odd pizza delivery place, and I've only gotten the job when I had followed up myself. If you've already had an interview once, then yes, it would be a bit intrusive unless he/she specifies otherwise, but calling them like 2 days to a week afterwards is not bothersome I would think.

If we're talking a different industry or something more professional, I wouldn't know. But for your average retail/restaurant position I'd imagine only the really basic stuff on the application matters...like experience, felonies, and references. I've never even made a cover letter lol I would think that's for a more specialized career type job.

 

[Bagels]

A mental disease is in many ways no different from a physical disease. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're a diabetic, you have to take certain medications and see certain doctors to function properly. Exact same thing with mental diseases like depression: you have to take certain medications and see certain doctors to function properly. Of course, there is one huge, unfortunate difference between mental and physical diseases: we have a far better understanding of the physical ones. Diabetic? Insulin. But if you're depressed? Shit, here's a couple dozen different types of pills, not all of them work for everyone, and it'll probably take you a few years to finally find the best combination for you.

It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. I cannot stress this enough, because I spent years being angry at myself for my illness. It just means that you have an extra hurdle to overcome.

Whatever effect you think it might have on your family if you are diagnosed with a mental disease, I guarantee you it would hit them unfathomably harder to walk into your room and find that you've done something stupid.

See a doctor. I recommend you start with a therapist or a psychologist - the underlined is an important distinction. They will likely recommend you to a psychiatrist.

Psychologists are generally friendly and will listen to your troubles and offer advice.

Psychiatrists are generally curt douchebags, but necessary curt douchebags because they're the ones who write the prescriptions.

Many people see a psychiatrist first, get some pills thrown at them, and say, "Oh, well that didn't help, maybe this mental health thing just isn't for me." That is a horrible mistake to make. See a psychologist.

I understand what you're saying, but there's just no way you've seen enough mental health professionals to be able to make a blanket statement like that. I won't go into it here, except to say that if your psychiatrist (or psychologist) is a "curt douchebag," you need to find another psychiatrist. An asshole surgeon can be fine, so long as he or she has the skills to perform the operation; so much of mental health care is about your interaction with the provider - you can't ignore how the two of you interact.


I'm sorry I haven't been around more. Work is brutal and there's definitely a seasonal component to my depression. My mood is fine, but with the start of Winter, I'm super lethargic, I'm having lots of aches and pains, and my mind just feels cloudy. I need to see my shrink and see what I can do.


As to the brief discussion of opiates and depression, there is interest in using drugs like buprenorphine (an opiate that doesn't get you high) to treat depression. Opiates make most people feel fantastic, or at least help them ignore any mental pain. The problem is obviously the risk of addiction with long-term use. And, if taken over a long period, opiates tend to make people MORE depressed. It's just not a great treatment option.


A random word about talk therapies. As it turns out, talk therapies are all basically equally effective (and quite effective to boot). This seems weird, as different methods work on very different theories. The thought is, talk therapies all provide a framework for identifying, analyzing, and ultimately changing the way you think. It's that structure, along with having someone to talk to in the first place, that's thought to be the real key. So find a therapist and style that you like; don't worry that there's some different methodology that overall works better. Finding a therapist you like, identifying a way of examining your thoughts that makes sense to you, and STICKING WITH IT will maximize your chances of getting better.

Hang in there, guys! We're all here for each other; you are never alone.

 

[Windam]

I think my medication (5mg Cipralex a day) is helping. After my initial emotional breakdown last Friday night/Saturday morning and the two days of insomnia and non-stop anxiety and suicidal thoughts that followed, I'm no longer feeling shitty every single day. Instead I just feel kind of numb. I don't really get a response out of anything, I just feel jaded as fuck. It's sort of scary.

Or I could just be imagining this in my head, since apparently the medication takes 4-6 weeks to start working and I've only been on it for one.

 

[KevinCow]

I understand what you're saying, but there's just no way you've seen enough mental health professionals to be able to make a blanket statement like that. I won't go into it here, except to say that if your psychiatrist (or psychologist) is a "curt douchebag," you need to find another psychiatrist. An asshole surgeon can be fine, so long as he or she has the skills to perform the operation; so much of mental health care is about your interaction with the provider - you can't ignore how the two of you interact.

Dude, I've seen a lot of psychiatrists in my life.

There was the lady who wasted the time I was paying for by rambling on about 9/11 instead of listening to me.

There was the guy who seemed to prescribe something new every time I saw him to counteract the side effects of all the shit he'd already given me, and never seemed to consider backing off on the meds a little bit.

There was the guy who made me cry and thought absolutely nothing of it, just kept sitting behind his desk and throwing pills at me.

Compared to the bad ones, the guy who says five words throughout the 15 minute session and then writes another prescription for the exact same thing I've been taking for months is a good one.

I've only ever met one who acted like a normal human being and seemed to actually care about me.


I've just heard the same story too many times: "I went to a doctor, but he didn't really listen to me or anything, he just gave me a prescription for some pills." And I hate hearing that, because it's clear that nobody explained the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist to this person.

 

[ClassyPenguin]

You say that but there's like 50+ people applying for every job nowadays. Do you really think a manager wants 50 people phoning up going "how is my application progressing?". If anything I'd expect it to piss them off.

I think pre-2008 it would have worked, but I don't think it's going to matter any more. It's more important to apply within hours or a couple days of it being advertised and really tailor your CV to the business. Reverse engineer the job description to the cover letter. Paper applications are good too, easier to click delete than to get up from your desk and put paper in the bin. Research I've read showed that 70% of people aren't getting even a "sorry we found someone more experienced". It's just the way things are right now.
Further still I've seen stuff saying "do no call in advance" in the instructions. But that's just me. /OT

all I know is that every store manager has been incredibly rude when calling about my application status. Or they just say that they will note your name down. It never seems to work. Also, I think more hiring managers are starting to do group interviews. It's not easy for a person to stand out if you are not a very outspoken, loud person. They can just write off many applicants that way.that's just been my experience.

 

[Bagels]

Dude, I've seen a lot of psychiatrists in my life.

There was the lady who wasted the time I was paying for by rambling on about 9/11 instead of listening to me.

There was the guy who seemed to prescribe something new every time I saw him to counteract the side effects of all the shit he'd already given me, and never seemed to consider backing off on the meds a little bit.

There was the guy who made me cry and thought absolutely nothing of it, just kept sitting behind his desk and throwing pills at me.

Compared to the bad ones, the guy who says five words throughout the 15 minute session and then writes another prescription for the exact same thing I've been taking for months is a good one.

I've only ever met one who acted like a normal human being and seemed to actually care about me.


I've just heard the same story too many times: "I went to a doctor, but he didn't really listen to me or anything, he just gave me a prescription for some pills." And I hate hearing that, because it's clear that nobody explained the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist to this person.

That has to be frustrating. I really do feel for you. It's just that " a lot" of psychiatrists can't be more than 10, maybe 20 if you've really shopped around. I hate to see an entire area of medicine painted with such a broad brush. I've seen and worked with a good number of psychiatrists and psychologists myself. I had one experience with a psychiatrist that really pissed me off, a few with psychologists that were not helpful (but not out and out bad), and the majority of interactions have been very positive (the psych nurses I've worked with have been by and large very positive). My mental health care has compared favorably to my care in any other area.

My current doctor is absolutely amazing. He cares, he knows his psychopharmacology, and he makes enough time for me that we can both tweak my medications AND spend time talking. He was recommended to me by a psych resident I was shadowing. If you can find someone to recommend a shrink/therapist to you (for example, your primary care doc may have someone he or she has sent patients to and they have reported back how great the experience was), you can make your search easier

The important thing to know about the psychologist/psychologist divide is that psychiatrists are MDs - they're medical doctors (psychiatrists and neurologists actually take the same boards) who have trained broadly in medicine and surgery and then chosen to focus on mental health. You'll find more psychiatrists prescribing drugs for the simple reason that psychologists are not medical doctors (if your psychologist is Dr.X, he has a PhD in psychology) and do not have prescribing powers in most states (or they have very limited prescribing powers). [It's worth noting that if you get your mental-health care through a primary care provider (family med or internal med, or maybe even your GI doc), you're almost certainly going to get pills].

You'll meet psychiatrists who don't prescribe medications at all (although this is probably a dying breed), some who only prescribe medications in conjunction with talk therapy, some who have strong training in talk therapy but mainly focus on psychopharmacology, and (more and more nowadays) psychiatrists who are basically exclusively psychopharmacologists. When making an appointment, I'd always ask about how the shrink practiced. I saved wasting time on a trip to a strict Freudian (a really rare breed) who does not use medications at all.

Meds + therapy is far and away the most successful strategy. This is what basically every study ever has found. In academic medicine, you'll generally find mental health professionals working as teams to deliver care. you'll find a psychiatrist, specialist nurse(s), counselor, social worker, physical therapist, and occupational therapist working together to cover the full range of mental health treatments. From the limited sample set I've seen, this is a great strategy. With rounds attended by the entire team, you can really coordinate treatment that covers the entirety of the bio-psycho-social model. It takes a great deal of training and practice to get really good at choosing drugs for people; talk therapy is equally challenging to master; navigating paperwork and bureaucracy and getting people placed in hospitals, etc., takes as much knowledge as a social worker as you can manage...Being a generalist who can do all of these things is possible but is increasingly seen as unrealistic.

 

[ThisWreckage]

I may have some deep rooted issues. I've taken up the bad habit of manipulating and toying with people just for my pleasure. It's an immense ego boost.

 

[KevinCow]

I may have some deep rooted issues. I've taken up the bad habit of manipulating and toying with people just for my pleasure. It's an immense ego boost.

I've found that my biggest ego boost is making somebody smile. Especially if they look like they're feeling particularly negative at the moment; grumpy, sad, frustrated, upset, tired, whatever. That feeling when I say something - be it a joke, a compliment, or whatever else - and get a friendly smile in response is just unparallelled.

Today, I got some Chinese food for lunch. The lady working there looked a bit grumpy, tired, and bored, seemed to be the only one working, and didn't speak English very well.

So as I was waiting for my food to be prepared, I looked up how to say "Thank you" in Mandarin, and said that when I picked up my food. I'm sure I butchered the pronunciation, because she immediately corrected me. But she still knew what I was saying, and it was enough to make her crack a smile.

It was a small thing, but she seemed to appreciate it, and I appreciated the fact that she appreciated it.

 

[Frangipani]

Has St. John's Wort worked for anyone else? A friend recommended it to me about two months ago and I don't really notice a difference.

 

[Smiley90]

Fuck this. I'll just lock myself into my room and not have any fun at all, turn off my PC and focus on my courses and get that shit over with. Better than feeling like a piece of shit because I let my personal problems affect my studying and going for a walk in the rain last night instead of studying for an exam today because I felt like shit.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

Has St. John's Wort worked for anyone else? A friend recommended it to me about two months ago and I don't really notice a difference.

pure placebo. Sorry.

Although the temporary boost from believing in something to 'be helping', combining with productive thoughts of self-improvement and actually being able to see 'things' improve (whatever those might be) is a real benefit in itself too.

 

[strobogo]

I lost 20 pounds in 2 months (the healthy way, good diet and exercise) and all of the sudden I've completely lost any and all motivation to keep it going. I haven't done anything in about 2 weeks and have gained 4 or 5 pounds back because I've been laying around snacking all day. Immediately fell back into the darkest depression (although the exercise wasn't really doing anything for depression in the first place and I started it because I needed to lost 10-15 pounds for the past 4 years) literally in the middle of being on my exercise bike. It was pretty weird.

 

[ceramic]

I'm sorry I haven't been around more. Work is brutal and there's definitely a seasonal component to my depression. My mood is fine, but with the start of Winter, I'm super lethargic, I'm having lots of aches and pains, and my mind just feels cloudy. I need to see my shrink and see what I can do.

Oh man this is exactly how I feel almost all the time. My mind is so foggy and cloudy that I can't concentrate, even when I've had a full night's sleep.

I have been to a group CBT therapy course but they just told me what I already know from online websites (e.g. raising awareness to things like how thoughts and feelings interact to reinforce negative feelings). The problem is that it hasn't helped me. When I'm in a public situation I just cannot see through the fog and concentrate on other people. My mood varies wildly from optimistic to close to cracking up at work. Even when I'm optimistic I can't bring myself to talk to other people (esp. people/colleagues that I don't know or don't talk to regularly) because I don't know how to do it without it coming across as unnatural or weird.

Some days I wake up and I just can't stand myself and feel inadequate in every way - no amount of trying to rationalize my feelings can make them go away because they feel so real at the time. Even on my best days I feel so anxious that going up to a work colleague to ask how they are or something is just out of the question.

Inadequacy is a huge problem; because I feel inferior to other people it's hard for me to talk to them without feeling that I'm being judged; like they're all smiles when talking to me but in private we all know where we stand in the hierarchy and I'm not even on the ladder. These feelings come from, for example, being ugly-looking and having a tendency to mess things up through things like mental slowness caused by foggy-headedness.

I'm so caught up in myself that I can't even express myself.

Also I joined a gym a while ago and despite following advice here and elsewhere I have got nowhere. So attempts to improve my appearance have largely failed.

 

[Collete]

That's something that you build over years of time. Everyone has people they call "friends" who are really acquaintances that come and go. Real friends are people you have known for an extended period of time that would do the same for you as you would do for them. Trust in them is just something that develops over time...I know it can be hard to put your trust in someone else, especially when it has previously been violated. However, it is important to continue to reach out to others. Eventually you'll find that one person or group of people who you have complete confidence in and vice versa.

Well it's just I'm having trouble with trusting people I already know for so long.
Still I appreciate the advice and will try to continue to reach out to others.

Hopefully it won't suck as before.

On a side note, I'm going to a convention this weekend which by and large, I didn't want to go.
Mainly because depression kept making me think it's pointless, but it's something I used to really enjoy.
Feel a bit proud that I'm actually going and possibly enjoying myself.

 

[Bagels]

Has St. John's Wort worked for anyone else? A friend recommended it to me about two months ago and I don't really notice a difference.

pure placebo. Sorry.

Although the temporary boost from believing in something to 'be helping', combining with productive thoughts of self-improvement and actually being able to see 'things' improve (whatever those might be) is a real benefit in itself too.

There's actually fair evidence that St. John's Wort is effective in cases of mild to moderate depression. I'll dig up some studies when I'm back at the hospital.

Two notes: don't mix St. John's Wort with other antidepressants - you can end up with serotonin syndrome. If you want to take SJW, research what brands are the highest quality, look at the proposed dose they deliver and compare that to what was done in a high quality study.

Next, know that SJW can speed up the metabolism of estrogens, possibly messing with the efficacy of your combo mini contraceptive pill. So mood improved, I feel good, I'm going to go meet that special man out there...aaaaaand...pregnant.

Also taking St. John's Wort while pregnant may have detrimental effects on the growing baby. I need to look into that weird.

 

[Meatfist]

It feels like I do the same thing every Friday- Drive around with my buddy looking for something to do, until we realize that almost all of our friends are out of town and end up calling it a night. Everyone we know who actually are in town just blow us off.

Misanthropy isn't a good color on me, but it's definitely how I feel lately.

 

[Surface of Me]

It feels like I do the same thing every Friday- Drive around with my buddy looking for something to do, until we realize that almost all of our friends are out of town and end up calling it a night. Everyone we know who actually are in town just blow us off.

Misanthropy isn't a good color on me, but it's definitely how I feel lately.

That's how most of my nights out go as well.

Felt really sad today, ended up crying not too long ago.

 

[Uchip]

With the realization that im too fucked up in the head to go back to university, there is nothing left for me here in this life.
I can never be happy, or merely content and my only option is to be a drain on tax payer money and my friends and families sanity.
All thats left is drinking a lot of alcohol to overcome inhibitions and remove myself from this hole that is beneath the rat race

 

[mik83kuu]

With the realization that im too fucked up in the head to go back to university, there is nothing left for me here in this life.
I can never be happy, or merely content and my only option is to be a drain on tax payer money and my friends and families sanity.
All thats left is drinking a lot of alcohol to overcome inhibitions and remove myself from this hole that is beneath the rat race

But you are wrong. Plenty of people have overcome depression and can tell you that shit gets fixed if you just give it time and a little effort. If you feel powerless then just seek help from a professional -- they actually get paid to help you so you shouldn't worry about being a burden and trust me when I say pretty much every single nation here has actual tax leeches and a mentally or physically ill person is far from being one

 

[Uchip]

But you are wrong. Plenty of people have overcome depression and can tell you that shit gets fixed if you just give it time and a little effort. If you feel powerless then just seek help from a professional -- they actually get paid to help you so you shouldn't worry about being a burden

you must be new here
it must be nice to assume that a little time and effort will help someone thats tried everything and then some in a long repetitive cycle

 

[Prax]

With the realization that im too fucked up in the head to go back to university, there is nothing left for me here in this life.
I can never be happy, or merely content and my only option is to be a drain on tax payer money and my friends and families sanity.
All thats left is drinking a lot of alcohol to overcome inhibitions and remove myself from this hole that is beneath the rat race

University isn't for everyone, and it's not the be all and end all. And who knows. Maybe you'll want to try again when you're in a better place. It doesn't have to happen this instant.
There's still a lot you can be doing in your life, but I think the most important thing right now is to give yourself permission to take a break and recover.

I think at my lowest points, the one thing I desperately wanted was to be told that I had done "enough". That my efforts or struggles was good enough and I didn't have to drag myself kicking and screaming any further. I just wanted that validation or acknowledgement from somewhere.. family, doctors, teachers, the universe. I don't know. I was looking for some sign to vindicate everything. But surely, just like waking up from a messed up dream, I was the one that was in control, and I could decide when I suffered enough and could give myself a break and just go and do something enjoyable instead.

Maybe you're not at the point where you feel you can give yourself that kind of permission, so if it helps to hear it from someone else, I'll say it to you (and then you can repeat it to yourself as if it were your idea! Inception that stuff!):
You have beaten yourself up enough, and it's time you take a break. Relax and be good to yourself.

 

[mik83kuu]

you must be new here
it must be nice to assume that a little time and effort will help someone thats tried everything and then some in a long repetitive cycle

Well I may not know you or your post history but I have struggled with depression for about eight years now and it has been a constant series of succession for the past two once I got some right meds in the right dosages and figured out some goals for myself that I've succeeded in. I would say that if I could say something to myself a few years ago, I would say what I just did in my above post.

 

[ThisWreckage]

Has St. John's Wort worked for anyone else? A friend recommended it to me about two months ago and I don't really notice a difference.

Most vitamins and supplements are rubbish. The body only absorbs a small fraction.

 

[kottila]

Most vitamins and supplements are rubbish. The body only absorbs a small fraction.

St. johns wort is not as rubbish as other supplements. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_John's_wort#Medicinal_uses

 

[Uchip]

Maybe you're not at the point where you feel you can give yourself that kind of permission, so if it helps to hear it from someone else, I'll say it to you (and then you can repeat it to yourself as if it were your idea! Inception that stuff!):
You have beaten yourself up enough, and it's time you take a break. Relax and be good to yourself.

I have taken a break
Ive been off work and study for around 5 years, and nothing has improved despite many efforts. Im working part time just to keep my resume from going to absolute shit, and even that is near impossible.

 

[ClassyPenguin]

Still, see a doctor about dosage and whatnot. Just because it's "natural" doesn't mean there aren't side-effects. Like when taking any anti-depressant, make sure you are seeing a doctor frequently for monitoring.

if you want to see a study on it:
basically, it has positive results to mild-moderate depression vs placebo.
Efficacy of St. John’s Wort Extract WS 5570 in Major Depression: A Double-Blind, Placebo-Controlled Trial

“You give up the world line by line. Stoically. And then one day you realize that your courage is farcical. It doesn't mean anything. You've become an accomplice in your own annihilation and there is nothing you can do about it. Everything you do closes a door somewhere ahead of you. And finally there is only one door left.”
― Cormac McCarthy, The Sunset Limited

godddam, McCarthy nails what it feels like to have depression.

 

[Prax]

I have taken a break
Ive been off work and study for around 5 years, and nothing has improved despite many efforts. Im working part time just to keep my resume from going to absolute shit, and even that is near impossible.

More like take breaks from beating yourself up about it!

You are still working a part time job. That's pretty good effort, I think.
You were saying how you were being a taxpayer drain, yet you work. So.. how is it you're being a drain?
It sounds like you are being overly harsh on yourself.

 

[Uchip]

More like take breaks from beating yourself up about it!

You are still working a part time job. That's pretty good effort, I think.
You were saying how you were being a taxpayer drain, yet you work. So.. how is it you're being a drain?
It sounds like you are being overly harsh on yourself.

it doesnt cover living costs
and I only afford things by paying my friends off weekly
its fucking atrocious

 

[ClassyPenguin]

it doesnt cover living costs
and I only afford things by paying my friends off weekly
its fucking atrocious

Are you eligible for welfare or medicaid?

And govt spending isn't reliant on taxpayers---oh wait, this isn't poligaf!

 

[Prax]

it doesnt cover living costs
and I only afford things by paying my friends off weekly
its fucking atrocious

I think it's at least something and pretty good effort considering the depression part.
And even if it's not ideal, beating yourself up more is probably not the thing that will motivate you or give you the extra spring into action.

If you need to make changes (whether to get another job, change living expenses, get professional help, meds, or something), give yourself some breathing room to do that.

And getting social support for that in the meanwhile is okay too. That's what it's there for.

 

[Xun]

Maybe because I'm drunk, but I really don't think I can stand any of this much longer.

I'm fed up with life completely, and I really don't think I've lived any of it how I want to.

Perhaps it's easier to end it? I dunno.

 

[Veezy]

I'm losing grip on my emotions and it's really starting to fuck with me.

I've suffered from depression for decades. I eventually just learned to manage since medication, regardless of what I tried, made things worse. I'm pretty strong willed so whenever suicidal thoughts would creep up I would get a grip and move on. That's worked for a while and I only had one significant break down about three years ago, but my life has gone to hell and I'm not doing too good anymore.

I moved in with my fiancee in Las Vegas from Tennessee, back in June. Things were okay for a bit, but then her work made her spend more and more time away from the apartment. We never got the time to get a second car, properly put my name on the checking account, etc. Due to her work schedule, how far she lives away from home, and the fact that she can't quit her job before finding a new one, I literally haven't seen her for over eight weeks. I have no car, no job, no friends, my phone's broken so I can only check voice mails, my family doesn't pick up much, we never had time to get furniture so I have to sit on the floor to use my laptop, I sleep on a broken air mattress, and the one thing I love doing that kept me sane before, training at the gym, is impossible because it's too far away to walk to, leaving me stuck training in the apartment "fitness room" with broken equipment.

We talk on the phone when we can, but she works from around 9am till 3-4am seven days a week, so it's hard getting any time in to talk. We're both miserable with this, but she won't be out of the busy season till November. I'm applying for jobs out in Tennessee because we both agree that we need to get on some sort of schedule and she knows I have friends out there, and we both have family out there, but it's obviously difficult to apply for jobs when you live 2500mi away from where you're applying for. I haven't interacted with a human being in months except for the person that drops off the groceries, I can't stand reading any more, or gaming, or really anything. My sleep schedule fluctuates from passing out for 20 hours a day to not being able to sleep for 3 days in a row. It's fucking bad.

Even paying bills is a fucking pain because my name isn't on the account so when I process shit through, she has to call them, but can't do it on time due to the work schedule. I quit my job and left everything I've known for seven years to live with her and now I'm trapped in an apartment, I miss her like crazy, she's miserable at her job, and I can't leave and I feel worthless for being unemployed. Fucking A. There's nothing anybody can do, but I just needed to get that off my chest.

 

[jdavid459]

Anyone have any experience using wellbutrin? My doc started me just taking ST Johns Wort and fish oil and that hasn't really done anything. He suggests to try wellbutrin now...

 

[RionaaM]

Maybe because I'm drunk, but I really don't think I can stand any of this much longer.

I'm fed up with life completely, and I really don't think I've lived any of it how I want to.

Perhaps it's easier to end it? I dunno.

Don't do it. Life can always get better. If you end it, that's it, everything's gone. You won't gain anything, and instead you'll have lost everything.

If there's anything you want to do, like playing an instrument, reading some book, watch some movie, travel to a remote country, then do it. Do every little thing you always wanted to, no matter if it seems silly. I don't know, I wish I could give you good advice or help you somehow.

 

[Prez]

Anyone have any experience using wellbutrin? My doc started me just taking ST Johns Wort and fish oil and that hasn't really done anything. He suggests to try wellbutrin now...

It gave me suicidal thoughts but helps tons of other people, just like Zoloft worked well for me and not for others. If you're looking for something that works great for everyone, you can stop looking because it doesn't exist.

 

[Sub_Level]

Wellbutrin didn't work for me at all. I felt no side effects whatsoever, good or bad.

 

[jb1234]

Anyone have any experience using wellbutrin? My doc started me just taking ST Johns Wort and fish oil and that hasn't really done anything. He suggests to try wellbutrin now...

There were times when it helped me and other times when it didn't. It depended on the exact cause of my depression.

 

[colt45joe]

ive been taking this stuff
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000GFHPNY/?tag=neogaf0e-20

i think it really helps.

when i get that really bad depressed sinking feeling, i take 3 pills, and within 30 minutes i feel fine. its weird.

maybe placebo, but i dunno, it seems to really calm me down.

ive noticed that it also helps me fall asleep easier, and it makes my dreams more vivid, and actually seems to make me have more nightmares. also weird.

 

[LuuKyK]

Nvm.

 

[Uchip]

you were never really depressed but you want to give advice?
shouldnt feeling down gaf be separate?

 

[LuuKyK]

you were never really depressed but you want to give advice?
shouldnt feeling down gaf be separate?

I guess? Don't really know. Was just trying to cheer you guys up anyway...

Edit: Feels kinda out of place really, edited.

 

[Prax]

Maybe because I'm drunk, but I really don't think I can stand any of this much longer.

I'm fed up with life completely, and I really don't think I've lived any of it how I want to.

Perhaps it's easier to end it? I dunno.

You are drunk, so take a breather and let your thoughts sober up.

If you feel like you haven't been able to do everything or anything you wanted, it's a good time to go and do it and just enjoy your life. You've got time and you have chances to do what you want.

Maybe you need to take a weekend to go exploring. Have a mini-adventure of sorts and delve into a hobby or wander into new stores/restaurants/cafes in town.

I'm losing grip on my emotions and it's really starting to fuck with me.

I moved in with my fiancee in Las Vegas from Tennessee, back in June. Things were okay for a bit, but then her work made her spend more and more time away from the apartment. We never got the time to get a second car, properly put my name on the checking account, etc. Due to her work schedule, how far she lives away from home, and the fact that she can't quit her job before finding a new one, I literally haven't seen her for over eight weeks. I have no car, no job, no friends, my phone's broken so I can only check voice mails, my family doesn't pick up much, we never had time to get furniture so I have to sit on the floor to use my laptop, I sleep on a broken air mattress, and the one thing I love doing that kept me sane before, training at the gym, is impossible because it's too far away to walk to, leaving me stuck training in the apartment "fitness room" with broken equipment.

We talk on the phone when we can, but she works from around 9am till 3-4am seven days a week, so it's hard getting any time in to talk. We're both miserable with this, but she won't be out of the busy season till November. I'm applying for jobs out in Tennessee because we both agree that we need to get on some sort of schedule and she knows I have friends out there, and we both have family out there, but it's obviously difficult to apply for jobs when you live 2500mi away from where you're applying for. I haven't interacted with a human being in months except for the person that drops off the groceries, I can't stand reading any more, or gaming, or really anything. My sleep schedule fluctuates from passing out for 20 hours a day to not being able to sleep for 3 days in a row. It's fucking bad.

Even paying bills is a fucking pain because my name isn't on the account so when I process shit through, she has to call them, but can't do it on time due to the work schedule. I quit my job and left everything I've known for seven years to live with her and now I'm trapped in an apartment, I miss her like crazy, she's miserable at her job, and I can't leave and I feel worthless for being unemployed. Fucking A. There's nothing anybody can do, but I just needed to get that off my chest.

Venting is good.. as long as it's used to actually vent instead of ruminating on all the issues. On the bright side, November is just around the corner! Hopefully things will ease up and you'll be able to see each other a lot more.

Can you not order furniture and do banking online? You are already ordering groceries it seems.
What about wandering outside and enjoying the city if you're feeling stir crazy inside the apartment? I obviously don't live there, so I don't know how secluded you might be from everything, but sounds like you could go for a coffee break, go for a run, or something.

And regulating that sleep schedule will probably help a lot. Any reason why it's so irregular besides surfing too long online or something? I know staying online and trying to "occupy my time" for no reason has ruined me for many a night's sleep. I.. I am going to try to sleep earlier than usual tonight! I got to regulate this too.

 

[jb1234]

Maybe because I'm drunk, but I really don't think I can stand any of this much longer.

I'm fed up with life completely, and I really don't think I've lived any of it how I want to.

Perhaps it's easier to end it? I dunno.

Do yourself a favor and don't drink while depressed. Alcohol is a depressant and just makes things worse. Believe me, I've found this out the hard way.

 

[Bloom]

There's actually fair evidence that St. John's Wort is effective in cases of mild to moderate depression. I'll dig up some studies when I'm back at the hospital.

Two notes: don't mix St. John's Wort with other antidepressants - you can end up with serotonin syndrome. If you want to take SJW, research what brands are the highest quality, look at the proposed dose they deliver and compare that to what was done in a high quality study.

Next, know that SJW can speed up the metabolism of estrogens, possibly messing with the efficacy of your combo mini contraceptive pill. So mood improved, I feel good, I'm going to go meet that special man out there...aaaaaand...pregnant.

Also taking St. John's Wort while pregnant may have detrimental effects on the growing baby. I need to look into that weird.

Yes, potency and quality control is a huge problem in the herbs industry. Many times when people think that an herb is inefficient, it is because it lacks most of its potency.

Although not to be used with anti-depressants, St John's worth is benign. People thought for a long while that it made you more sensitive to light, but recently a study found out that this effect was in effect inexistant.

Also, St John's worth helps detoxify the liver. I still get great results from my chinese herbs combination that detoxify it, from a reputable manufacturer. The liver really does seem to be closely linked to mood.

 

[Veezy]

Venting is good.. as long as it's used to actually vent instead of ruminating on all the issues. On the bright side, November is just around the corner! Hopefully things will ease up and you'll be able to see each other a lot more.

Can you not order furniture and do banking online? You are already ordering groceries it seems.
What about wandering outside and enjoying the city if you're feeling stir crazy inside the apartment? I obviously don't live there, so I don't know how secluded you might be from everything, but sounds like you could go for a coffee break, go for a run, or something.

And regulating that sleep schedule will probably help a lot. Any reason why it's so irregular besides surfing too long online or something? I know staying online and trying to "occupy my time" for no reason has ruined me for many a night's sleep. I.. I am going to try to sleep earlier than usual tonight! I got to regulate this too.

The banking situation is complicated.

Due to us putting it off and her not being able to take time off work, I never got added to the bank account. She is actually the one that orders the food for me. Lame, I know. Due to never getting added to the account, I never got a check card. Which means I have no funds. She had to go fax paperwork because the credit union thought bills I was paying under her name were fraudulent charges. My credit is about to take a hit because we might have lost a money order in the mail since I can't pay another bill with the checking account. Thing fuckin' sucks.

We can't get furniture because we still don't know if we're living here in the start of November. I'll get any job I interview for and we have the scratch to fly me to Knoxville, but if nobody calls me and leaves me a callback number, I can check my VM to call them to try and schedule something.

I'd leave and check out the town, but technically I live in Henderson. A 30 minute drive from the strip. So, walking's out of the question. The Wal-Mart is a 5mi walk away, just to give some perspective on the distance. Hell, I'd be down to walk to the bus to go to a casino to see a movie or to go somewhere, but I have no cash because she didn't think her work would because the mess it has forcing her to stay in the city with a friend so she can get at least 4 hours of sleep a night. My sleep schedule is fucked from my depression. I lay down and just think. And think. And think. And there's the issue with the broken air mattress.

I mean, I know it'll get better. It's just my coping mechanism has been distraction and calmly dealing with my fucked up brain. Being completely alone with nowhere to go for two+ months is seriously breaking that down. Watching all of the fitness goals I've achieved over the years slowly waste away and moving out here to be closer to here but talking less than we have in three years isn't helping.

 

[Agent Cooper]

I went and talked to my school counselor.

My friend made me go.

She says that she can help me figure out how to talk to my mom about getting help and help find a therapist or whatever.

Sighs.