-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
- Start date
- Status
Bro.hey lighten up, what are you depressed?
I'm finally taking the steps to get some help. I found a doctor and am going to make an appointment tomorrow.
I have anxiety and it's kind of spilled over to OCD at my job. My mind will get fixated on something and I can't leave until it's done. Usually something stupid or pointless.
I really don't want to be on medication but I'll see what the psychologist says.
I have anxiety and it's kind of spilled over to OCD at my job. My mind will get fixated on something and I can't leave until it's done. Usually something stupid or pointless.
I really don't want to be on medication but I'll see what the psychologist says.
get some pussy....
work out which might be hard if you're a weakling....
if you're a mess you're a lost cause...
smoke weed and drink...
this is possible the worst advice ive seen yet
I've seen worse... but not by much.
Yeah,this is me. I can even internally be in a good mood but if I am completely unaware of my facial expression look quite annoyed, or even aggressive at times. An old highschool teacher used to keep bringing it up all the time.
IBuyEveryGame
Banned
That is in the purest sense the reason for the anxiety being brought to the surface. That emotion (the physical expression of crying) is meant to highlight what is the real issue, once you see it and feel it, you can look at it, and release it.
In the midst of your crying, say why is this? Why do I feel this way? What is the truth, what is making me so emotional? What are my thoughts now. Follow them, listen.
Your unconscious mind is not hidden in some dark place, away from waking consciousness, to be dreaded and feared.
It is there, always, for you to examine, and in great fits of emotional energy such as crying, the truth will be clear to you.
Why do you fear yourself?
Yeah, it's not that I can't get it, I just like being forever alone. Every problem in life is solved just by saying "I need to get some pussy" (doesn't matter if you aren't able to do it), not by working on its causes. I really think you are trolling here.
Oh, and I should smoke weed, maybe try some heroin too? What about grog?
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Yep. Heroin and the like will provide relief, but it attacks the symptoms of depression, not the cause.
I have a friend who does opiates practically every week and he's depressed as hell.
As a human being you will always be open to being depressed and having a shitty time.
But if you're depressed a good deal of the time (dwelling on the bad things in your life and not doing anything about them) and get anxiety attacks (break down crying, get angry at the world and yourself) then that's a sign that your coping skills need fixing and/or you need to try and fix the shitty things in life that make you depressed.
For me, meds and therapy didn't work. Changing my view on things did. But it varies from person to person. People will generally not expect you to be happy, they'll just expect you to try.
As for the "pussy" part, girls can actually be a pretty good measurement of progress because generally girls won't get with ya if you're depressed to the point where it shows on your face, mannerisms, and actions. For girls who are depressed, that measurement isn't as valid since guys will get with girls even if they're depressed just for the physical aspect of you. But this is just my personal observation.
Collete
Member
This just tells me you have no idea on what depression is really like.
(And you make me feel better that my advice isn't the worst on this thread!...Also taking a Psychology class once does not make you an expert, or a "somewhat expert")
Good job taking the first steps to get help!
I know medication can be a bit taboo to some people, but it's important to keep the mind open on possibilities on treatment.
Not saying medication should always be used but, just keep yourself open to different treatments.
I get what you're saying. I should try to improve myself and have a more positive attitude, but it's really hard. Specially when nothing seems to be like you want it to. So I don't know how to make the change in my views and all that.
And getting a girl is not necessarily a cure for depression, I'd say not being able to get one may be part of the cause. You can't stop being depressed because you are alone, and you are alone because you are depressed.
scar tissue
Banned
hey lighten up, what are you depressed?
I swear, if I did similarly blatant trolling in the transgender thread, I'd be banned in less than five minutes. What the fuck?
On a sidenote: any kind of physical activity (especially outdoor stuff), if you can bring yourself to do it, will actually help a little, with all the endorphines and stuff. I wouldn't expect a huge improvement but it definitely helps.
Edit:
I agree.
N
NinjaFridge
Unconfirmed Member
Drinking and smoking weed totally helps with depression. Totally.
ThisWreckage
Banned
There are many, many women that like brooding men. For several reasons.
scar tissue
Banned
Eh, guys who are severely depressed aren't good with the ladies in my experience.
Mostly because they lack the energy to pursue women, even if the women might be interested in them.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
This is how I knew I was depressed; my life was going great and I felt like crap. I remember sitting in my dorm room and writing out the positive and negative things that were going on. My list of positives was very long. For my list of negatives, I really had to reach. I basically had nothing wrong; I was living a dream life - my professors loved me, I was kicking ass in school, my girlfriend and I were madly in love and saw each other all the time. I had other girls expressing strong interest in me (which was pretty novel) - it was quite the ego boost. I had plenty of money. I saw my family as much as I wanted and felt very close to them. I was having a lot of fun. I loved college. But still, I felt so hopeless. To this day, that influences my thinking that my depression is endogenous - due to bad brain chemistry, rather than external events (my childhood was pretty idyllic, too).
You might really think about medication therapy. Maybe talk therapy would uncover some buried issue, but it sounds more like you've got bum brain chemistry. An appropriate med may turn that around and allow you to feel good about a life that is going pretty well - that would be nice, huh?
ThisWreckage
Banned
Women love nothing more than a deeply flawed man.
As to feeling depressed at parties or other large social situations, well, those type of things probably aren't best for the depressed individual. In general, if you give off kind of a depressed vibe, people are going to avoid you. And, in my own experience, what the depressed mind needs is intimacy - a feeling of connection to another person who understands your problem and knows that depressed you isn't exactly you you. I had better luck with smaller gatherings with just a close friend or two - people who I knew cared, had been depressed themselves, and were willing to put up with hanging out with someone who was a bit of a bummer. The odds of finding a like-minded person at a random party suck. Especially as making friends at a party requires you to be more outgoing and less inward focused. You'd be better off going to a support group for mental illness (check the NAMI website) and finding a kindred spirit. Parties are probably best avoided unless you're feeling outgoing. Also, the alcohol is just going to depress you more. Parties just might not be a great choice for the depressed.
scar tissue
Banned
Yeah, but women also love a man who actually pursues them. Women mostly wait for guys to make a move, and all the guys with depression I know lack the (sex) drive to actively pursue women. Unless a woman would do the approaching and pursuing, there is no way they would end up with a girlfriend. It's basically irrelevant if women find them attractive or not, because they aren't able to do what women expect them to do.
Same goes for me, although it's mostly the social anxiety and not the depression that's the problem for me.
Haven't done the research trial, but this is a really exciting area of research. This has the potential to be THE next big thing in depression care. by all means check into the studies. I'd love to hear from someone who has tried a trial of ketamine. Note that the dose of ketamine is quite small - it's very different than people who use it recreationally. The trials should be quite safe. You have nothing to lose from contacting the study coordinators and seeing if you'd be a candidate.
Avoid it if at all possible. It has a really short half-life and causes more euphoria than other benzos - it's a great recipe for addiction. Klonopin and Ativan are seen as better choices, although they also have potential for abuse (benzos are the most abused prescription meds in most countries, beating out opiates). If your dose starts creeping up, that's not good.
Benzos are miracle drugs for anxiety - they work quickly and, at low doses, shouldn't make you too sleepy or weird. At higher doses, you'll run into memory problems, you'll get really tired, and your inhibitions tend to bottom out. You'll find that you've said stuff that you normally wouldn't say.
Be careful with benzos. They're great in the short term, but a good doc will try to get you off of them rather quickly. Something like Buspar may be a better choice in the long term. Propranolol also gets used for anxiety. You need to fit a better cardiovascular profile, but the risk of addiction should be very low.
Many people swear by Xanax, but it's a problematic drug from an addiction standpoint. And benzo withdrawal can be horrendous and life threatening. Proceed with caution!
ThisWreckage
Banned
Life threatening? Who cares? I already want to kill myself so what do I have to lose.
Trolling people struggling with mental illness is some immoral bullshit. These people are at danger of getting much worse and potentially intentionally doing serious damage to their bodies. suicide is a leading cause of death for people in their teens through 30s. Getting your jollies from posting this kind of crap makes you fucking subhuman scum. Fuck off.
[Sorry for my usual strong of multi-posts. I'm trying to catch up with the thread. For better of worse, I see it as partly my baby and I'm very defensive and concerned about my fellow depressed-GAFfers. I want to do all I can to help.]
As always, contact me via PM or, better yet, skype: gaf.bagels. I'm always willing to talk. I'm on nights at the hospital, but when I'm home, or have downtime, I'm up for doing anything I can to help. I've talked to a few of you by phone and that's certainly also an option.
If you can think any distance ahead, and can entertain the possibility of getting better, the idea of feeling better then having to go through hellish benzo withdrawal just isn't great.
The nice thing about Klonopin or Ativan is that they are longer acting (while still being fairly quick-acting - 15-30 min and you'll start feeling relief from anxiety. It's not like antidepressants). Rapidly cycling between anxiety, relief from anxiety, a return of the anxiety, and so on is going to feel pretty awful. You'll have a smoother experience with other meds. I'd say that has a better chance of actually making your situation better. Also, if sleep is an issue, a longer-acting benzo may prevent you from waking at night in full-blown panic attacks.
In general, you can and will get better from depression. It can take time, and different strategies, but you don't want to come out of your depression and then potentially crash again because you go through awful drug withdrawal. I get your point - if things are as bad as they can be, ANYTHING will seem better. But getting your depression into remission is more a marathon than a sprint. Ultimately, changing the way your brain works, changing your life, getting better, takes time. The idea of just taking a pill that makes you not give a fuck isn't going to help you with any underlying issues. Ignoring the pain feels great in the short term, but it has to be dealt with eventually.
Frankly, Klonopin, Ativan, Valium - really any benzo - is going to make you feel pretty good. The mechanism is related to the mechanism of drunkenness on some level (it's not the same, as people often argue), so most people find it pretty enjoyable. So if you just want that nice feeling when you take the pills, Klonopin or Ativan will deliver, but it should be a little safer than Xanax. Still, be very careful. You've got to balance the medical necessity with the risks of dependence and addiction.
Does that help? I'm happy to talk more about it. You've just got to play the longer game with depression, much as that sucks.
ThisWreckage
Banned
I just need something that will make me less dependent on alcohol. I think anxiety medication would help me more than medication for depression.
MisterLuffy
Member
I'm sick and tired of myself already. I hate the fact that I don't do anything to change myself. I start to not care anybody around me nor myself included. I also hate when everyone around me does better than me. It makes me feel that I'm what's wrong with this world.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
What helped me was to see it as; okay, me thinking negatively is not going to affect the outcome of a situation, so why not think positive? Some people will argue that lower expectations = lower pain when things don't go your way and also more surprise (and by extension joy) when things work out. But I think people should have realistic expectations, and that works both ways. Sometimes your expectations are way too low. If you denominate yourself as "never being able to relate to others" or "never being able to be loved by someone else", that's just gonna keep you from striving towards your own happiness and independence.
There's this author Kurt Vonnegut who did a presentation once that real life is often not as dramatic as it is in film/literature/music/videogames. Most people's lives do not go way up to happiness or way down to sorrow/anger for prolonged periods of time. Instead their lives go to happy and sadness/anger multiple times a day in small amounts. You have to wake up early to go to work. You made an A on that paper. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have any plans for the weekend. Takes those things and add depression and instead you get; You work a dead-end job and you hate your job. You made an A on that one paper in that one class that one semester. You've never had a girlfriend or you had one and you'll never love again. You don't have any plans for the weekend because nobody likes you and you can't identify with others. Depression is a distortion of reality. Sometimes life really does go down the shitter if somebody dies or you get a divorce or somethin' serious like that but for the most part the lack of coping skills with daily life is the problem.
http://sivers.org/drama
Whoah whoah that's definitely not what I'm saying, sorry if I came off that way. You definitely have to be happy by yourself (goes for depressed women too). Girls seem to resonate more with me when I'm positive, though, which is basically what I was getting at. I was never able to pull off the whole brooding and dark thing, joking and making 'em laugh is more my style lol.
You've really got to watch out as comorbid alcohol and benzo dependence is very common. Be up front with your doctor. Buspar or propranolol may be better choices if there's concern about addiction. Also, many antidepressants do help with anxiety. I did a big post about anxiety earlier in this thread. Piano, I think, offered some complementary advice - check out those posts.
Thank you. You're a wise man. This is a very interesting reading, and I'll check your link when I get home tonight.What helped me was to see it as; okay, me thinking negatively is not going to affect the outcome of a situation, so why not think positive? Some people will argue that lower expectations = lower pain when things don't go your way and also more surprise (and by extension joy) when things work out. But I think people should have realistic expectations, and that works both ways. Sometimes your expectations are way too low. If you denominate yourself as "never being able to relate to others" or "never being able to be loved by someone else", that's just gonna keep you from striving towards your own happiness and independence.
There's this author Kurt Vonnegut who did a presentation once that real life is often not as dramatic as it is in film/literature/music/videogames. Most people's lives do not go way up to happiness or way down to sorrow/anger for prolonged periods of time. Instead their lives go to happy and sadness/anger multiple times a day in small amounts. You have to wake up early to go to work. You made an A on that paper. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have any plans for the weekend. Takes those things and add depression and instead you get; You work a dead-end job and you hate your job. You made an A on that one paper in that one class that one semester. You've never had a girlfriend or you had one and you'll never love again. You don't have any plans for the weekend because nobody likes you and you can't identify with others. Depression is a distortion of reality. Sometimes life really does go down the shitter if somebody dies or you get a divorce or somethin' serious like that but for the most part the lack of coping skills with daily life is the problem.
http://sivers.org/drama
Whoah whoah that's definitely not what I'm saying, sorry if I came off that way. You definitely have to be happy by yourself (goes for depressed women too). Girls seem to resonate more with me when I'm positive, though, which is basically what I was getting at. I was never able to pull off the whole brooding and dark thing, joking and making 'em laugh is more my style lol.
The part about realistic expectations is so true. My way of thinking is exactly as you said: "If I consider myself a failure and think the worst will always happen, then I won't get disappointed when that actually happens". But it's bullshit, as that attitude could very well be the catalyst that makes those bad things occur (lack of study due to no motivation, not wanting to invest time to improve my terrible bass skills, not even wanting or trying to socialize when I go out, etc.).
You're also spot-on with the perceived drama and distortion of life. Those things you mentioned (job I dislike, lack of girfriend, rarely going out), I see them word by word as you said (you're not spying into my brain, right?). I know they aren't as terrible as I make them out to be, but they still bring me down. And that's the problem, I don't know how to cope with that. I'm tired of staying at home the whole weekend, doing nothing but sit in front of the PC. I'm tired of being alone, having only been with just one girl in all my life, very briefly, more than a year ago. Strangely, and again echoing what you said, this last thing happened during a time where I was hanging out with some new friends (which aren't friends anymore, but that's another story) and stopped being so depressive and negative, and was doing kinda well at university. So it seems that better things happen to you when you cut off the self-loathing, as you're not constantly thinking the world is out to get you. I wish I could feel that way again.
I believe the worst is feeling I can't change a thing. That it's too late, and I'll never know what to do, how to change myself or be able to meet new people. The only thing I can think of is starting the gym, which I'd like to and really should. Some GAFfers told me to join a club, but I don't know any, and there's not a lot of things that interest me, at least not that much.
Let me just quickly say that obvious trolls or just plain idiots (It's hard to say which DJroomba was) should be reported to the mods and engaged with as little as possible. I think we all want this to be a safe, therapeutic corner of GAF. We have members of Depression-GAF who are very sick. The last thing they need is for them to make the difficult decision to share their story and ask for help only to have to suffer some asshole's terrible advice/attempt to milk their misery for cheap laughs. Let's make this thread a real resource for people who are trying to get some help.
Oddly enough, as someone who just 'shacked up' about two weeks ago (5 yr relationship) I think I'm more depressed now. I was pretty happy where my life was before this. I'm sort of a loner, though, so maybe it's just a lack of space. I can't tell yet and I'm not sure what to do.
Jibber Hack
Member
So Gaf. Shit. I lost my job a couple of weeks ago. I live alone and have an apartment. Unfortunately I don't have any skills. I was self-employed and have a ton of tax debt and an offer-in-compromise that I need to pay every month. I've applied online, I've registered with AppleOne and am currently registering with other agencies and will follow up with them tomorrow.
My lease isn't up until May and I'm going to have to get a roommate even if I get a job. I'm enrolled at a local community college (only had a couple of semesters left before graduation), but I'm most likely going to have to withdraw from the three classes I'm taking this semester since I'm not going to be able to be picky with any job that comes my way.
I've got the next month covered, but it's looking pretty awful for me if I don't find work soon. I was paying out of pocket for therapy due to chronic chemical depression, but I can't afford it anymore. Even in the worst case scenario I won't go homeless, but it's hard to be optimistic about the near future.
My lease isn't up until May and I'm going to have to get a roommate even if I get a job. I'm enrolled at a local community college (only had a couple of semesters left before graduation), but I'm most likely going to have to withdraw from the three classes I'm taking this semester since I'm not going to be able to be picky with any job that comes my way.
I've got the next month covered, but it's looking pretty awful for me if I don't find work soon. I was paying out of pocket for therapy due to chronic chemical depression, but I can't afford it anymore. Even in the worst case scenario I won't go homeless, but it's hard to be optimistic about the near future.
i was on benzos for a long time, got off em. i miss that shit sometimes. compared to benzos, buspar is NOTHING. NOTHING
Admiral Bone to Pick
Banned
Not sure why, but recently, I tend to bounce in and out of depression. If things are going well for me and my plans work out how I want them to, I'm fine. But as soon as something goes wrong in my life I'm pretty much depressed for the rest of the days (if not for several days). I feel like I'm overreacting to small setbacks that are, at times, easily fixable. Going to see a therapist soon so hopefully it will help to have someone to talk to. I was in a persistent depressed state for a while when I was younger and it's not something I would wish on anyone.
People don't realize how much it screws with your head when your emotional responses aren't appropriate. When small things send you into a tailspin while larger problems barely cause you to bat an eye (or when everything, big or small, feels exactly the same), it messes up your body's usual punishment/reward dynamic that guides your behavior. It's almost impossible to change your behavior if the inputs and outputs don't make any sense. I really feel for you.
It's not that you're irrational, it's that you haven't had friends so you don't actually understand friendship. In fact seems many people in this thread have misunderstandings of what friendship entails. The primary key element of friendship is intent. If 2 people have positive intent towards each other, have intent to be friends then they are friends.
Once that intent is established then the friendship is built upon through shared experiences; The things you do when you are together, NOT past experiences when you didn't know each other. When you meet a friend you talk about what's happened since you last met, you talk about what you are going to do now and you talk about plans for the near future. You rarely talk about the distant past or what happened before you ever met.
Ultimately people don't care about your past or what you were. They care about what you are now. In fact, to be honest there is only one character trait necessary for you to be able to be friends with people. Trustworthiness. Are you trustworthy? If you are, then anyone would be happy to count you as a friend. You don't need to be funny or cool or interesting. If people want to be entertained they can put the tv on. You don't need to be a high achiever, makes no difference, winner or loser either way a friend would be supportive of you. You don't need to have loads in common, you can be completely different but hang out and talk about you're disparate interests. Your friend may have no interest in your hobbies, but because they are your friend they are interested in you and would happily listen to you talk about what's happening in your life.
indigo-cyclops
Member
I just wanted to say that some days I feel like absolute garbage. I didn't want this to turn into a soapbox proclamation, so I edited it. I've had 6+ years clean but there are days when I think about that feeling again.
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
I just talked to the psychiatrist that I'm going to start seeing in a couple of weeks, at the suggestion of my psychologist, on the phone for the first time. She seems very nice, so that's always good.
Femmeworth
Banned
If she turns out to be crap, don't be afraid to find someone else. I've been through two psychiatrists and would like to ditch my current one, but I don't exactly have better options.
Hardly a miracle drug if it can't be used for the long term.
To update, I sent them an email because I thought I may have some things that excluded me from the study and they do.
I wear braces on my teeth but I'll get them off soon so I could work that out but I'm also taking trileptal and hydrocodone for a neurological disorder and I wouldn't be able to take them during the trial and that's pretty much not possible unless I want to be in immense amounts of pain.
Damn, oh well.
It's in Bethesda Maryland if anyone else is interested. The thought of an antidepressant that works in a day sounds great. Maybe it'll be on the market within the next decade.
Miracle drug in that it alleviates symptoms incredibly quickly. You've got to remember, opium was and is an absolute miracle drug - it has so many good uses. Too bad that drugs that make you feel good are basically addictive by definition...
Warning: do not self-medicate with ketamine. The investigational doses are quite small and may be on a continuous drip. It's not like buying some from your friend Trevor.
Femmeworth
Banned
They are basically only good for those who suffer from panic attacks, is what I have come to understand.
Mmmm, no.
OpinionatedCyborg
Member
but trevor's cool yo
- Status