So Microsoft can do no wrong and Sony is wildly out of touch with reality and what developers want (hyperbolic, but you get my point...that's how your last statement comes across).
I frankly don't buy it. Your cards are showing a bit. And that's fine, we all have our preference. Ultimately though, I'd say Sony has come a long ways from the PS3 days in terms of hardware design and I don't agree at all that Microsoft's vision is somehow infallible and that they're far more in-tune with the desires of the dev community. These aren't the crazy Ken days of hardware design at SCE anymore.
I don't disagree that Sony probably only showed developers 2 GB of GDDR5 RAM, and they complained because when you take the OS into account, they are getting much less than 2 GB of RAM in reality. But would they have expected Sony to not only double the RAM, but also double the same quality of RAM? So yes, that is where we are today...but have you even gotten any feedback from devs who have now had the opportunity to work with an extra 2 GB of 192 GB/s high-speed RAM? That could have been far more than they ever imagined, since like you said, 4 GB of GDDR5 is basically unheard of on PCs right now.