Okay, here's the deal: People who make the association between Steam and Xbox One miss the key point that Steam exists on an open platform (PC), while the Xbox ecosystem is entirely closed. You want to play an Xbox game? You play to Microsoft's tune.
To put it in another way: You think Steam would even exist today if the only way Valve could make money off it is if people had to buy PCs built specifically for it? That shit would've gone up in smoke ages ago.
I've made my own long-ass rant in the past on the subject (which sadly I can't find in my own post history. Damned cutoff...) where I basically state as much as you said: I fuckin' hated Steam when it came out. Lots of others did as well. No question about that. Took me years to warm up to it... But all the while, I was able to play PC games while merrily ignoring Steam aside from a few Valve games that were an absolute pain-in-the-ass to get working. (Lug PC to friend's house, use hit 'net connection for a few hours, make sure everything's up and running and off-line compatible, lug PC back to own home... Not a fun routine) I, and many others, only started using Steam on a regular basis once it was able to prove itself as a viable, consumer-friendly platform through years of providing good service, discounts, benefits, etc. And even now, there's plenty of other digital storefronts on PC that I can choose from if I ever find Steam to be lacking, between GOG, GMG, fuck's sake even EA made Origin more consumer-friendly by announcing a return policy for their digital games. That's what keeps Steam in check, and I can use it under the assumption that, as long as the folks at Valve don't go completely bonkers tomorrow, they'll keep providing a good service that I am willing to invest into.
And therein lies the problem for Microsoft. The Xbox platform is a walled garden. MS chooses what terms you play Xbox games. If they want to prove to consumers that it's worth investing in their digital platforms, they're going to have to spend a lot of time and effort to prove that it's consumer-friendly and beneficial to put money toward. Thus far, they've totally failed on that account, and because an Xbox One is required to play Xbox One games (whodathunkit), forcing that transition to a digital-only marketplace meant that consumers had no choice whether or not they wanted to adopt to the new rules. Scream and cry about the DRM reversal all you want, declare that it's an inevitable future from the tallest mountains all you like, but consumers will only hop aboard once they see reason to. Judging by the reversal, they don't see reason to yet.
Saying "Xbox One was just like Steam" ignores everything that exists around Steam to make it, even force it, to be the viable platform it is today. To say the digital future on consoles is inevitable by virtue of Steam being the dominant platform on PC is to ignore everything that makes Steam what it is now.
Final note: Best way for Microsoft (and Sony + Nintendo) to prove to me they believe in a vision of a fair digital-only future is to allow other digital storefronts on their consoles. This will never happen, but it'd speak volumes about dedication to consumer-friendliness.
EDIT: A handy-dandy
Jimquisition video gives a good rundown on the benefits of digital PC gaming platforms over their console cousins, and why people are willing to adopt them compared to the backlash against forcing an equivalent on consoles.