BladeoftheImmortal
Member
I think like all things about dating, it's more about looks than age.
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Are single women over 30 screwed in dating?
- Thread starter Miles Quaritch
- Start date
- Status
teruterubozu
Member
Not everyone screws on the first date, even if you're over 30.
Yeah. OP did you call her out on her bullshit?
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Put an age range on younger becuse if "go out and have fun" is just bars and clubs older men don't want them.
GrizzleBoy
Banned
ryutaro's mama
Member
Because topics like this tend to eventually bring out some extremely cringeworthy responses from people.
I generally find it really tough to date women in their 30s. I just find that they seem to have given up a lot of the time and in a hurry as a result. It becomes super serious from the outset. I can't make it through a first date without being asked what my "intentions" are, and suggesting I just want to get to know them and "see what happens" somehow implies I am a player. It always feels like an awkward job interview.
I find it much more fun and invigorating to be dating women in their early 20s who are ambitious and hungry for life, and are happy to just hang out and see if something clicks without counting off the days.
I find it much more fun and invigorating to be dating women in their early 20s who are ambitious and hungry for life, and are happy to just hang out and see if something clicks without counting off the days.
Miles Quaritch
Member
He's not engaging her any more. She stills messages him/comments on his facebook from time to time, but he just laughs about it. I think he's a being a dick about it now, he won't unfriend her so his pictures and status updates keep showing up on her timeline.
I'd hope not, as a single male aged 30. I don't see issues with dating someone my age and if the single women in their 30s are giving up or feeling hopeless they are obviously not looking where they should be. I may hesitate regarding someone who has kids already but it's not an instant no.
Personally I think I'd be happy to date anyone over 19/20 well into early 40s depending on how we would have in common
Personally I think I'd be happy to date anyone over 19/20 well into early 40s depending on how we would have in common
foxuzamaki
Doesn't read OPs, especially not his own
I think women are at their peak in terms of dating, atleast nowadays, 30 isnt actually seen as old, they usually have a career instead of just a job at that point and are still very sexually active.
Alot of women, especially in these modern times still look exceptionally young at 30(s) so its never really a problem of if people think they look attractive or not.
Alot of women, especially in these modern times still look exceptionally young at 30(s) so its never really a problem of if people think they look attractive or not.
brianjones
Member
tell me where these women are I want to date them
I'm unemployed and live with my mom
I'm unemployed and live with my mom
There's a checklist being filled out at a certain age. There's not enough guys, as previously mentioned, to really check all the boxes. Guys that are attractive, financially stable, able to hold down a relationship etc... can afford to be picky.
There's been a lot written about the changing dynamics of dating. I personally like this article from The Atlantic:
There's been a lot written about the changing dynamics of dating. I personally like this article from The Atlantic:
More Fun To Compute
Member
It's a two way street I think. Men like younger attractive women and women like men with good established careers. Those 30 something women would probably be a lot less pushy and demanding with 50 something men who have millions more than them in the bank.
entremet
Member
I recall messaging 20+ year old when in my early and mid 20s on dating sites and I often got messages that I was too young and they were looking for something more serious, but to be fair I also hooked up with a few 30+ year olds. Some older women told me they lie about their age because they worry about men not giving them the time of day. A friend of mine who is very cute says she's 28 instead of 32 because she said articles online recommended it. I don't read Jezebel and Xojane much anymore so who knows. She says she's starting to look to get married so I can't blame her for playing her cards as well as she can. I don't say I am looking for casual sex on my OKCupid profile even if I am often looking to smash
Another friend of mine told me when she was 24 that she was looking to get married and I found it interesting she was actively looking for a husband, but hey she's married now so well done to her. I think it sucks that women often have to choose between children and their career, however..... I recall there was a thread where a woman said women should use university to pick up their Mrs and not just BSc/BS/MD/PHD/JD etc and people were criticisising this woman for giving other women this advice and I am like it's not PC but have you not met any women who are baby crazy? The thirst is real, I recall a woman saying she'd find the first disease free guy she met and go it alone as a single mother if by 37 and couldn't find a child. Shit was scary. but yet... I get it.
To conclude, I don't blame anyone for dating the best they think they can get/deserve. However you may have to settle. Whether it's with regards to rigid standards related to height/money/looks.
Another friend of mine told me when she was 24 that she was looking to get married and I found it interesting she was actively looking for a husband, but hey she's married now so well done to her. I think it sucks that women often have to choose between children and their career, however..... I recall there was a thread where a woman said women should use university to pick up their Mrs and not just BSc/BS/MD/PHD/JD etc and people were criticisising this woman for giving other women this advice and I am like it's not PC but have you not met any women who are baby crazy? The thirst is real, I recall a woman saying she'd find the first disease free guy she met and go it alone as a single mother if by 37 and couldn't find a child. Shit was scary. but yet... I get it.
To conclude, I don't blame anyone for dating the best they think they can get/deserve. However you may have to settle. Whether it's with regards to rigid standards related to height/money/looks.
My inclination is to say no. Also, I don't think a five year age difference is that notable.
That said, I'm turning 31 in a couple of days, and I have only been capable of fucking 24 year olds for the most part the past two years. I want to date someone closer to my age, but they never seem to be out when I'm meeting women (late night at a lounge or bar).
That said, I'm turning 31 in a couple of days, and I have only been capable of fucking 24 year olds for the most part the past two years. I want to date someone closer to my age, but they never seem to be out when I'm meeting women (late night at a lounge or bar).
MonorailCat
Member
women above 30 screwed? not really
Try be an unemployed/poor man above 30. Then you are the scum of the dating world.
Try be an unemployed/poor man above 30. Then you are the scum of the dating world.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
I've had a few of those dates, they ghosted on me no doubt becuse I did not give the "right" answers.
ClosingADoor
Member
Maybe that concept of the marriageable men should change a bit then. When we have a ton of women in the workplace now and having their own careers - which is a good thing - of course there are less men in a higher position then them to pick from. So look at people in the same position or a little lower. Nothing wrong with the woman making more then the man in a relationship unless you make it a problem.
That is what I'm wondering my wife is four years younger than I.
At 31/27 we were married
Guess I robbed the cradle too
It's going to have to change, but right now it's real ugly:
http://www.vice.com/read/youre-single-because-there-arent-enough-men-253
Women don't get "screwed" after they turn 30. But it is pretty much a fact that their market value decreases after around that age and men's increase. Women get to enjoy starting with exponentially more power over the dating game than men do but in time men are given a little leeway with it and frankly, I'm grateful for that. I need all the help I can get 
But it's not a super dramatic "turning the tables" kind of thing by any means.
But it's not a super dramatic "turning the tables" kind of thing by any means.
I'm 33,male and dating a 22 year old. God knows what that would make me lol.
entremet
Member
It's not sex but finding long term commitment.
Schwarzbier
Member
I totally read this "Are single women over 30 screwing in dating?"
As in like, "Do single women over 30 bang while dating"
Women over 30 like to bang...
And Women over 30 are just fine in the dating world in my experience. They're usually a little pickier, but if you know what you want just go for it.
I've met many single woman over 30 over the past few years who I've dated, and I've weeded out the bad ones. My current lady friend and I are both in our late 30's, we both like to bang, and we're likely getting engaged soon.
Dating is numbers and luck.
Oh, and don't be a creeper or a total dick.
As in like, "Do single women over 30 bang while dating"
Women over 30 like to bang...
And Women over 30 are just fine in the dating world in my experience. They're usually a little pickier, but if you know what you want just go for it.
I've met many single woman over 30 over the past few years who I've dated, and I've weeded out the bad ones. My current lady friend and I are both in our late 30's, we both like to bang, and we're likely getting engaged soon.
Dating is numbers and luck.
Oh, and don't be a creeper or a total dick.
No.
Even if there were no single men over 30. Even if there were no dating sites making it easier to find a partner than ever before... There's still the fact that almost 1 in 2 couples end up divorced, which adds up to a whole lot of new single people of all shapes and sizes on the market.
Even if there were no single men over 30. Even if there were no dating sites making it easier to find a partner than ever before... There's still the fact that almost 1 in 2 couples end up divorced, which adds up to a whole lot of new single people of all shapes and sizes on the market.
Schwarzbier
Member
So just bang and have fun. Marry them if you really want it, but protect yourself from the divorce.
Prenuptial's are your friend.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Women are at a serious disadvantage regarding romantic relationships since time is less kind to them and it becomes difficult to ignore your biological clock when it starts blasting louder than a Monster Magnet concert. Then (and I think this is also hugely important) you have to deal with all the ugly shit that lands onto most people when you are in your 30's. Job, family and daily duties tend to suck the vitality of most folks by that age and change their personality towards stability, nullifying our more adventurous tendencies. This is just time doing its thing.
Your 30's are also an incredibly complicated time of your life. Most people are married by that time and probably even have one or several kids. Single and thirthysomething usually means that you are either divorced or had late a break-up. Both situations can mess you up pretty badly. The baggage is real. People require some time to adjust at an age bracket where most women start feeling like they can't stay put due to biological and societal pressures. If they want to have children (and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that) they need to act with some diligence. Things can get even more troublesome for women if there are already kids involved, since many single men want none of that (let alone dealing with ex-husbands if we are talking about divorced persons) and women also happen to be the primary caregivers of young children, drastically reducing their spare time.
Then there's physical attractiveness. I personally know quite a few women in their 30's who easily outrank 99% of any potential competitors in their 20's, but there's no denying the female body requires some important maintenance that the male body doesn't due to hormonal and body composition differences. Your 30's are a bitch, too. Fat gets stored differently and the body becomes less firm. Significant exercising and a proper diet (at a time that is probably the most stressful of our lives) is a must if you want to stay competitively attractive. For every rep you do at the gym, she probably has to make two. Factors such as sunlight and excessive smoking compound, too, doing a real number on the face. And then you have all kinds of films, TV shows and magazines reinforcing the image of older men being more attractive/younger women falling for them. Which is an awesome boon for us, but not really fair for women past their 20's. I mean, my partner is considerably younger than me, but I still find the age disparity in Hollywood movie couples just plainly absurd.
With that said, most of what I said applies to building a relationship. If you just want a date, it doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman: your 30's will probably the best time of your life. You have some actual income, probably a place of your own and/or a car and life experience, which is the biggest draw there is. There are also a lot less taboos and fears regarding casual sex. For all the Millennial moral outrage in the press, nobody has it easier than single thirthysomethings on the prowl. Nobody.
I basically wasted most of 20's since I made my career my only priority. Dating during my early 30's was a revelation. I only wanted to meet women of my age at first since I thought those would be the ones I would find the most relatable, but a huge amount of them wanted to meet their life partner first and foremost. Children were also a huge concern. I lost the count of the times somebody would bring kids to the conversation as soon as during our second date, which was a complete turn off. I met some amazing single women during that time, but as someone without any particular romantic aims, the amount of incompatible partners in their 30's became troublesome, if not borderline concerning. So I decided to expand the age bracket, only to find that not only it was extremely easy for a man in his 30's to date girls 10 years their junior, but also that younger women had less expectations and a more carefree attitude that made dating much less stressful. Being able to date someone without the pressure of knowing that she had given herself a defined window to asses your quality as a person before deciding if you were "the one" was a huge relief. From that moment I found myself dating mostly younger women; not because that was my strict desire, but because things played out better that way.
As far as my experience goes, technically speaking women in their 30's have little issues dating men of their age and older. As a matter of fact, they have it easier than ever. But getting a date and building a relationship are massively different things, as many single men in their 30's don't have the same aims nor share the same pressures that women do. Biology and society allow men to extend their 20's for a good couple of decades, whereas women are not that lucky.
Your 30's are also an incredibly complicated time of your life. Most people are married by that time and probably even have one or several kids. Single and thirthysomething usually means that you are either divorced or had late a break-up. Both situations can mess you up pretty badly. The baggage is real. People require some time to adjust at an age bracket where most women start feeling like they can't stay put due to biological and societal pressures. If they want to have children (and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that) they need to act with some diligence. Things can get even more troublesome for women if there are already kids involved, since many single men want none of that (let alone dealing with ex-husbands if we are talking about divorced persons) and women also happen to be the primary caregivers of young children, drastically reducing their spare time.
Then there's physical attractiveness. I personally know quite a few women in their 30's who easily outrank 99% of any potential competitors in their 20's, but there's no denying the female body requires some important maintenance that the male body doesn't due to hormonal and body composition differences. Your 30's are a bitch, too. Fat gets stored differently and the body becomes less firm. Significant exercising and a proper diet (at a time that is probably the most stressful of our lives) is a must if you want to stay competitively attractive. For every rep you do at the gym, she probably has to make two. Factors such as sunlight and excessive smoking compound, too, doing a real number on the face. And then you have all kinds of films, TV shows and magazines reinforcing the image of older men being more attractive/younger women falling for them. Which is an awesome boon for us, but not really fair for women past their 20's. I mean, my partner is considerably younger than me, but I still find the age disparity in Hollywood movie couples just plainly absurd.
With that said, most of what I said applies to building a relationship. If you just want a date, it doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman: your 30's will probably the best time of your life. You have some actual income, probably a place of your own and/or a car and life experience, which is the biggest draw there is. There are also a lot less taboos and fears regarding casual sex. For all the Millennial moral outrage in the press, nobody has it easier than single thirthysomethings on the prowl. Nobody.
I basically wasted most of 20's since I made my career my only priority. Dating during my early 30's was a revelation. I only wanted to meet women of my age at first since I thought those would be the ones I would find the most relatable, but a huge amount of them wanted to meet their life partner first and foremost. Children were also a huge concern. I lost the count of the times somebody would bring kids to the conversation as soon as during our second date, which was a complete turn off. I met some amazing single women during that time, but as someone without any particular romantic aims, the amount of incompatible partners in their 30's became troublesome, if not borderline concerning. So I decided to expand the age bracket, only to find that not only it was extremely easy for a man in his 30's to date girls 10 years their junior, but also that younger women had less expectations and a more carefree attitude that made dating much less stressful. Being able to date someone without the pressure of knowing that she had given herself a defined window to asses your quality as a person before deciding if you were "the one" was a huge relief. From that moment I found myself dating mostly younger women; not because that was my strict desire, but because things played out better that way.
As far as my experience goes, technically speaking women in their 30's have little issues dating men of their age and older. As a matter of fact, they have it easier than ever. But getting a date and building a relationship are massively different things, as many single men in their 30's don't have the same aims nor share the same pressures that women do. Biology and society allow men to extend their 20's for a good couple of decades, whereas women are not that lucky.
entremet
Member
Well thought out. Explains the challenges and opportunities succinctly.
Acidote
Member
What I can say about the matter is that things have been better for me each passing year as I get closer to 30 (this year!), and I haven't changed much except that I'm older and finantially better, so if that means I'm getting in a more poweful position then I'm gonna make as much use of that power as I can the same way ladies in their 20s do.
Maybe you just have a weird way of phrasing your underlying point, but that statement - sheesh. I don't know where to begin.
Didn't we have topic a few months ago how women in their late 20s-30s are becoming "pickier"? Women getting more options to further their career and greater options for themselves in general, they don't want to *marry down* and since their standards have gone up( naturally as greater opportunities have presented themselves) they don't see themselves with a guy worse off then them. They want someone cultured and educated but we still give alot of the physical lower demanding jobs to men, and now that women are increasing in education and in some places graduating and getting a higher degree then men its becoming harder for them to find a man that suits their taste.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
I may be blunt, but it is how it is. Specially when kids come into the picture and become your priority. You need to sacrify part of your life so you can raise them properly, and again, there's nothing wrong with it.
More responsibilities mean more stress, less spare time and less venues (and willingness) to get out and have fun like you did in your 20's. People generally become less lively and outgoing, and sooner than you think they are posting Minion memes over Facebook*.
*ok, that part was an exaggeration.
Or is it?
Always-honest
Banned
Exactly.
witchedwiz
Member
meh lot of times it's either of the parties to try and reach outside their possibility...
on the top of over-reaching, there are some trend that are always there..
men (both achieving and not achieving) try to usually fetch younger women..
conversely achieving women usually want a matching partner or possibly men that scored "better" in the race for career.. this leaves few palatable choice as on the top of being able to choose their partner they want a partner that is interesting (which is totally fine), which is successful (totally fine, but we're restricting the market), that is still AVAILABLE (furtherly restricting the market) and that must be willing to accept that their to-be future bride//companion will want to continue her career and delegate family duties (be it simple cooking or future children rearing) to a nanny or similar (and this restrict the pool of available partners even more...)
this is not about sexism, but about society view..
Furthermore from my point of view committing to a relationship and to future together means having the sensibility to make some hard call..
If my partner was to earn more than me, and if she would be committed to work until retirement with career in mind, I wouldn't really mind doing the dad-at-home (doing maybe some telework with self-decided timeframes.. but just as a maybe), but I frankly will NOT accept to leave my children's raising to a nanny.. I can hire someone to take care of house cleaning and it's fine.. I think that children are a willing choice that you make and that you must commit to: so if you want children you must be ready to give up the time that you're normally committing to other activities... I think that they deserve at least one parent to be dedicated to them no matter what..
Then again, this might be something derived by my education..
on the top of over-reaching, there are some trend that are always there..
men (both achieving and not achieving) try to usually fetch younger women..
conversely achieving women usually want a matching partner or possibly men that scored "better" in the race for career.. this leaves few palatable choice as on the top of being able to choose their partner they want a partner that is interesting (which is totally fine), which is successful (totally fine, but we're restricting the market), that is still AVAILABLE (furtherly restricting the market) and that must be willing to accept that their to-be future bride//companion will want to continue her career and delegate family duties (be it simple cooking or future children rearing) to a nanny or similar (and this restrict the pool of available partners even more...)
this is not about sexism, but about society view..
Furthermore from my point of view committing to a relationship and to future together means having the sensibility to make some hard call..
If my partner was to earn more than me, and if she would be committed to work until retirement with career in mind, I wouldn't really mind doing the dad-at-home (doing maybe some telework with self-decided timeframes.. but just as a maybe), but I frankly will NOT accept to leave my children's raising to a nanny.. I can hire someone to take care of house cleaning and it's fine.. I think that children are a willing choice that you make and that you must commit to: so if you want children you must be ready to give up the time that you're normally committing to other activities... I think that they deserve at least one parent to be dedicated to them no matter what..
Then again, this might be something derived by my education..
AstroZombie
Banned
Yes because their biological clock is ticking. Eggs are nearing their past due date.
Ceallach
Smells like fresh rosebuds
31 year old woman here. I've pretty much given up on dating to start a relationship. I just stopped caring. Between my work(Active duty Navy e6 here) and my kid(yes, i'm a single mom) it just doesn't seem to be worth the effort. Like there are way better ways to spend my time. I still go out to have fun, and yes fun is a euphemism for sex a lot of the time. I came to a realization not too long about what I want and what makes me happy. It was very, very freeing. I stopped caring about anything other than what I wanted and what was best for me and my daughter. If I find a guy who I really like a lot, then great. But I'm not looking for one anymore.
But in direct reference to the OP, I think this is just an age where many women self actualize very strongly. A lot of the baggage and preconceived notions we had growing up fall away.
But in direct reference to the OP, I think this is just an age where many women self actualize very strongly. A lot of the baggage and preconceived notions we had growing up fall away.
thesoapster
Member
Not where I live. The only complaint I ever hear is that they can't find a "great"/"good"/whatever guy, but I doubt that has anything to do with age.
Always-honest
Banned
I hear this more often. My brother in law is in a relationship with a mother of 3 and he said it was sooo refreshing to be with a woman who is so relaxed, so herself.
No rushed feeling. No moving in with eachother in the first few years. Just taking it slow and relaxed while enjoying eachother. It also gives them time to let the kids get used to the new partner. That requires time. I have a good feeling about that relationship. One of the few relationships (in my group of friends and family) that i feel positive towards. And that's mostly because she is so confident and relaxed.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I see A LOT of very good looking women on pof, okc, and tinder who are in their 30s.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
It's harder for women to date casually in their 30s because of the realistic window of childbirth and the general perception that women are most desirable in their mid 20s. As getting engaged, married, and pregnant can be anywhere from a 2 to 5 year time-line, men who are playing the field are generally wary of starting things up with women who hit 32 because of the immediate expectation that it will be a permanent thing.
Due to gender roles, men are generally seen as more desirable when they have a decent career, a car/house and sexual experience. I'm 34, and though my last gf was my own age, most of the women I've dated for the past few years have been anywhere from 2 to 9 years younger. And I get a lot more attention from 25 year old women now then when I was actually 25.
In most of the articles I've read on the matter, it comes down to many successful women will have to lower their standards in order to find spouses. If women increasingly make up 50% of the workforce and salaries stabilize toward equality, it's not realistic for all women to find a mate who is taller, fitter, and makes more money.
Meus Renaissance
Member
I tend to sit on the other side of this fence: I prefer women closer to my age (29) or even perhaps older simply because by this age, they know what they want in a partner.
Dating should have an end-goal; to meet a potential life partner. If you are comfortable in the perpetual 'dating' mode (being in a relationship will no defined future), then you could find yourself single in your 30s.
I couldn't see myself interested in anyone who didn't want to start a family and be married within the next 2 years. What's the point otherwise?
Dating should have an end-goal; to meet a potential life partner. If you are comfortable in the perpetual 'dating' mode (being in a relationship will no defined future), then you could find yourself single in your 30s.
I couldn't see myself interested in anyone who didn't want to start a family and be married within the next 2 years. What's the point otherwise?
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
The only end-goal for dating should be happiness.
Fuck around as much as you want for as long as you want or settle down as soon as you find a decent human being you'd trust as as companion. Just be considerate to your partner's feelings and your own self.
Fuck around as much as you want for as long as you want or settle down as soon as you find a decent human being you'd trust as as companion. Just be considerate to your partner's feelings and your own self.
Combichristoffersen
Combovers don't work when there is no hair
No, not at all.
Kind of, if a guy wants to start a family at some point they would have to really really like a woman to get involved if they are over 30. Mostly because time is running out. In my case I'm over 30 but I would need to know someone at least a few years before considering kids with them.
Also have to be careful because you don't know if they really like you or just decided fuck I'm out of time. It's unfortunate, but there are plenty of guys that don't want kids and like older women.
Also have to be careful because you don't know if they really like you or just decided fuck I'm out of time. It's unfortunate, but there are plenty of guys that don't want kids and like older women.
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