BladeoftheImmortal
Member
I think like all things about dating, it's more about looks than age.
Hilarious
Also, calling him a cradle robber when he's 32 and she's 27 is pure salt.
A lot of younger girls these days are more interested in younger men who just want to go out and have fun. Older guys while they got the money are boring old bitties from an older generation who don't 'get it'.
Not everyone screws on the first date, even if you're over 30.
Why?
Yeah. OP did you call her out on her bullshit?
But while the rise of women has been good for everyone, the decline of males has obviously been bad news for menand bad news for marriage. For all the changes the institution has undergone, American women as a whole have never been confronted with such a radically shrinking pool of what are traditionally considered to be marriageable menthose who are better educated and earn more than they do. So women are now contending with what we might call the new scarcity. Even as women have seen their range of options broaden in recent yearsfor instance, expanding the kind of men its culturally acceptable to be with, and making it okay not to marry at allthe new scarcity disrupts what economists call the marriage market in a way that in fact narrows the available choices, making a good man harder to find than ever. At the rate things are going, the next generations pool of good men will be significantly smaller. What does this portend for the future of the American family?
tell me where these women are I want to date them
I can't make it through a first date without being asked what my "intentions" are, and suggesting I just want to get to know them and "see what happens" somehow implies I am a player. It always feels like an awkward job interview.
Maybe that concept of the marriageable men should change a bit then. When we have a ton of women in the workplace now and having their own careers - which is a good thing - of course there are less men in a higher position then them to pick from. So look at people in the same position or a little lower. Nothing wrong with the woman making more then the man in a relationship unless you make it a problem.There's a checklist being filled out at a certain age. There's not enough guys, as previously mentioned, to really check all the boxes. Guys that are attractive, financially stable, able to hold down a relationship etc... can afford to be picky.
There's been a lot written about the changing dynamics of dating. I personally like this article from The Atlantic:
Aha!
But why is 32 year old dating a 27 year old even remotely an issue?
Maybe that concept of the marriageable men should change a bit then.
The Department of Education projects that by the class of 2023, there will be 47 percent more women than men [graduating from college]. That's three women for every two men, essentially. Obviously, none of this would matter if we were all a little more open-minded about who we are willing to date and marry. But there have been multiple studies on this and it turns out Americans have become less likely, over the past 50 years, to marry and date across educational lines. So educational intermarriageI don't know if that's a real term, maybe I just made it upis at its lowest rate in 50 years.
That is what I'm wondering my wife is four years younger than I.
At 31/27 we were married
Guess I robbed the cradle too
It's not sex but finding long term commitment.Isn't getting screwed in dating the aim of the game?
Even if there were no single men over 30. Even if there were no dating sites making it easier to find a partner than ever before... There's still the fact that almost 1 in 2 couples end up divorced, which adds up to a whole lot of new single people on the market.
Well thought out. Explains the challenges and opportunities succinctly.Women are at a serious disadvantage regardig romantic relationships since time is less kind to them and it becomes difficult to ignore your biological clock when it starts blasting louder than a Monster Magnet concert. Then (and I think this is also hugely important) you have to deal with all the ugly shit that lands onto most people when you are in your 30's. Job, family and daily duties tend to suck the vitality of most folks by that age and change their personality towards stability, nullifying our more adventurous tendencies. This is just nature doing its thing.
Your 30's are also an incredibly complicated time of your life. Most people are married by that time and probably even have one or several kids. Single and thirthysomething usually means that you are either divorced or had late a break-up. Both situations can mess you up pretty badly. The baggage is real. People require some time to adjust at an age bracket where most women start feeling like they can't stay put due to biological and societal pressures. If they want to have children (and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that) they need to act with some diligence. Things can get even more troublesome for women if there are already kids involved, since many single men want none of that (let alone dealing with ex-husbands if we are talking about divorced persons) and women also happen to be the primary caregivers of young children, drastically reducing their spare time.
Then there's physical attractiveness. I personally know quite a few women in their 30's who easily outrank 99% of any potential competitors in their 20's, but there's no denying the female body requires some important maintenance that the male body doesn't due to hormonal and body composition differences. Your 30's are a bitch, too. Fat gets stored differently and the body becomes less firm. Significant exercising and a proper diet (at a time that is probably the most stressful of our lives) is a must if you want to stay competitively attractive. For every rep you do at the gym, she probably has to make two. Factors such as sunlight and excessive smoking compound, too, doing a real number on the face. And then you have all kinds of films, TV shows and magazines reinforcing the image of older men being more attractive/younger women falling for them. Which is an awesome boon for us, but not really fair for women past their 20's. I mean, my partner is considerably younger than me, but I still find the age disparity in Hollywood movie couples just plainly absurd.
With that said, most of what I said applies to building a relationship. If you just want a date, it doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman: your 30's will probably the best time of your life. You have some actual income, probably a place of your own and/or a car and life experience, which is the biggest draw there is. There are also a lot less taboos and fears regarding casual sex. For all the Millennial moral outrage in the press, nobody has it easier than single thirthysomethings on the prowl. Nobody.
I basically wasted most of 20's since I made my career my only priority. Dating during my early 30's was a revelation. I only wanted to meet women of my age at first since I thought those would be the ones I would find the most relatable, but a huge amount of them wanted to meet their life partner first and foremost. Children were also a huge concern. I lost the count of the times somebody would bring kids to the conversation as soon as during our second date, which was a complete turn off. I met some amazing single women during that time, but as someone without any particular romantic aims, the amount of incompatible partners in their 30's became troublesome, if not borderline concerning. So I decided to expand the age bracket, only to find that not only it was extremely easy for a man in his 30's to date girls 10 years their junior, but also that younger women had less expectations and a more carefree attitude that made dating much less stressful. Being able to date someone without the pressure of knowing that she had given herself a defined window to asses your quality as a person before deciding if I were "the one" was a huge relief. From that moment I found myself dating mostly younger women; not because that was my strict desire, but because things played out better that way.
As far as my experience goes, technically speaking women in their 30's have little issues dating men of their age and older. As a matter of fact, they have it easier than ever. But getting a date and building a relationship are massively different things, as many single men in their 30's don't have the same aims nor share the same pressures that women do. Biology and society allow men to extend their 20's for a good couple of decades, whereas women are not that lucky.
Maybe you just have a weird way of phrasing your underlying point, but that statement - sheesh. I don't know where to begin.Job, family and daily duties tend to suck the vitality of most folks by that age and change their personality towards stability, nullifying our more adventurous tendencies. This is just time doing its thing.
Maybe you just have a weird way of phrasing your underlying point, but that statement - sheesh. I don't know where to begin.
Exactly.Women are at a serious disadvantage regardig romantic relationships since time is less kind to them and it becomes difficult to ignore your biological clock when it starts blasting louder than a Monster Magnet concert. Then (and I think this is also hugely important) you have to deal with all the ugly shit that lands onto most people when you are in your 30's. Job, family and daily duties tend to suck the vitality of most folks by that age and change their personality towards stability, nullifying our more adventurous tendencies. This is just time doing its thing.
Your 30's are also an incredibly complicated time of your life. Most people are married by that time and probably even have one or several kids. Single and thirthysomething usually means that you are either divorced or had late a break-up. Both situations can mess you up pretty badly. The baggage is real. People require some time to adjust at an age bracket where most women start feeling like they can't stay put due to biological and societal pressures. If they want to have children (and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that) they need to act with some diligence. Things can get even more troublesome for women if there are already kids involved, since many single men want none of that (let alone dealing with ex-husbands if we are talking about divorced persons) and women also happen to be the primary caregivers of young children, drastically reducing their spare time.
Then there's physical attractiveness. I personally know quite a few women in their 30's who easily outrank 99% of any potential competitors in their 20's, but there's no denying the female body requires some important maintenance that the male body doesn't due to hormonal and body composition differences. Your 30's are a bitch, too. Fat gets stored differently and the body becomes less firm. Significant exercising and a proper diet (at a time that is probably the most stressful of our lives) is a must if you want to stay competitively attractive. For every rep you do at the gym, she probably has to make two. Factors such as sunlight and excessive smoking compound, too, doing a real number on the face. And then you have all kinds of films, TV shows and magazines reinforcing the image of older men being more attractive/younger women falling for them. Which is an awesome boon for us, but not really fair for women past their 20's. I mean, my partner is considerably younger than me, but I still find the age disparity in Hollywood movie couples just plainly absurd.
With that said, most of what I said applies to building a relationship. If you just want a date, it doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman: your 30's will probably the best time of your life. You have some actual income, probably a place of your own and/or a car and life experience, which is the biggest draw there is. There are also a lot less taboos and fears regarding casual sex. For all the Millennial moral outrage in the press, nobody has it easier than single thirthysomethings on the prowl. Nobody.
I basically wasted most of 20's since I made my career my only priority. Dating during my early 30's was a revelation. I only wanted to meet women of my age at first since I thought those would be the ones I would find the most relatable, but a huge amount of them wanted to meet their life partner first and foremost. Children were also a huge concern. I lost the count of the times somebody would bring kids to the conversation as soon as during our second date, which was a complete turn off. I met some amazing single women during that time, but as someone without any particular romantic aims, the amount of incompatible partners in their 30's became troublesome, if not borderline concerning. So I decided to expand the age bracket, only to find that not only it was extremely easy for a man in his 30's to date girls 10 years their junior, but also that younger women had less expectations and a more carefree attitude that made dating much less stressful. Being able to date someone without the pressure of knowing that she had given herself a defined window to asses your quality as a person before deciding if you were "the one" was a huge relief. From that moment I found myself dating mostly younger women; not because that was my strict desire, but because things played out better that way.
As far as my experience goes, technically speaking women in their 30's have little issues dating men of their age and older. As a matter of fact, they have it easier than ever. But getting a date and building a relationship are massively different things, as many single men in their 30's don't have the same aims nor share the same pressures that women do. Biology and society allow men to extend their 20's for a good couple of decades, whereas women are not that lucky.
31 year old woman here. I've pretty much given up on dating to start a relationship. I just stopped caring. Between my work(Active duty Navy e6 here) and my kid(yes, i'm a single mom) it just doesn't seem to be worth the effort. Like there are way better ways to spend my time. I still go out to have fun, and yes fun is a euphemism for sex a lot of the time. I came to a realization not too long about what I want and what makes me happy. It was very, very freeing. I stopped caring about anything other than what I wanted and what was best for me and my daughter. If I find a guy who I really like a lot, then great. But I'm not looking for one anymore.
But in direct reference to the OP, I think this is just an age where many women self actualize very strongly. A lot of the baggage and preconceived notions we had growing up fall away.
This is why I'm terrified of not settling down with someone soon, even though that's the last thing I want right now. I wish things remained balanced between genders in perpetuity.
Why though? Is there a real reason for this, or are you just saying that this is what men can get away with?