Makes total sense to ask someone to be your "girlfriend" after 1 date.
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Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Makes total sense to ask someone to be your "girlfriend" after 1 date.
you think you should make it official after one date and one kiss? i disagree
smokeandmirrors
Banned
Oh no no I forgot one little bit. I've known this girl for years now, so it's not like I have just met her, though I guess it doesn't change much... Wasn't our first date either..
just a little anxious about things in general I guess.
just a little anxious about things in general I guess.
Follow your heart. Calling her your girlfriend a bit later won't hurt will it?
I'm going to send you a PM because some of the stuff I have to say is kinda graphic.
Don't stress yourself out, nor put any pressure on it. Just breathe, relax, and try to enjoy your time with her. If it helps, just think of her as your girlfriend.
Except shes 15. And a guy who graduated or will graduate college going after a sophomore in HS is creepy no matter how you spin it.
The law is there for a reason.
That link advocates getting drunk whilst having sex.
Atramental
Banned
Your English is fine.
But it reads like someone from a Scandinavian country is speaking.
But it reads like someone from a Scandinavian country is speaking.
Devolution
Member
I first started dating my previous boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 20. We started doin' thangs when I was 17 and he was 21, luckily my parents gave no shits.
Vermillion
Banned
Mm. What type of dancing would we say is best to know...?
AdventureRacing
Member
Heh this is a problem i was having. I want to learn to dance but don't know a good place to start.
Devolution
Member
Ballroom dancing covers a wide swath. Get a proper class you can learn like 10 different ones like tango, waltz, swing, foxtrot, etc.
So, I went on a great first date with this girl yesterday!
To summarize how I got to know her: met her at a co-worker's party last year. Got invited to her party later that year. Had a boyfriend during both occassions. Didn´t stay in touch much in general. Met her again two weeks ago while we were going out into town. Texted her the day after. We arranged a date.
So yesterday we met up. I really put some time in picking the right outfit and putting on a nice cologne. She came straight from work though and wasn´t really dressed up for the night. Still, we leveled within minutes and she really liked the place I picked where we would be having dinner.
During dinner we had several great talks about numerous topics. She became very energetic and spontanous during the night and showed lots of interest in me. I kept my cool all the way through. At the end of the date she enthusiasticly remarked that she had a really great time. I didn´t even had to suggest a second date, since she took that opportunity herself.
So next date I´m going to meet her at her place and we´re going to watch Paranormal Activity 2 together. Seems like a great moment to escalate a bit. There wasn´t any kino during the first date, except for a regular goodbye kiss at the end. I really have to jump on that and be a bit more straightforward with physical contact next time around. Otherwise I think I might end up in the friendzone quickly.
Any specific thoughts?
To summarize how I got to know her: met her at a co-worker's party last year. Got invited to her party later that year. Had a boyfriend during both occassions. Didn´t stay in touch much in general. Met her again two weeks ago while we were going out into town. Texted her the day after. We arranged a date.
So yesterday we met up. I really put some time in picking the right outfit and putting on a nice cologne. She came straight from work though and wasn´t really dressed up for the night. Still, we leveled within minutes and she really liked the place I picked where we would be having dinner.
During dinner we had several great talks about numerous topics. She became very energetic and spontanous during the night and showed lots of interest in me. I kept my cool all the way through. At the end of the date she enthusiasticly remarked that she had a really great time. I didn´t even had to suggest a second date, since she took that opportunity herself.
So next date I´m going to meet her at her place and we´re going to watch Paranormal Activity 2 together. Seems like a great moment to escalate a bit. There wasn´t any kino during the first date, except for a regular goodbye kiss at the end. I really have to jump on that and be a bit more straightforward with physical contact next time around. Otherwise I think I might end up in the friendzone quickly.
Any specific thoughts?
Too many CCTVs outside schools, you can't sneak up properly.
Ducks don't go to school, do they?
R0nn: well, make your intentions known from the start. Put your arm around her, kiss her when you see her if that can happen, maybe some suggestive teasing or jokes. If you're at her place, you might be able to have sex or get a BJ or something, but it depends on how much you life this girl; I personally like to take things slowly if I really want a relationship.
Go in school classrooms and find them there, there's tons!
If a woman keeps avoiding me even though I have no idea why(Cause I honestly rarely talked to the woman and nothing substantial) should I ask he what is her problem?
It is kind of unnerving to have some woman run away from me like she scared I almost never talked to her or even communicated with her.
It is kind of unnerving to have some woman run away from me like she scared I almost never talked to her or even communicated with her.
She might not tell you the truth, might end up breaking stuff off prematurely if she's afraid of getting hurt, for example.
Try to be smart about it, wait it out until you have a good way of asking. Or give us more details and see what NeoGAF thinks.
Bring someone is my real advice. I found in all my single years that the best number of guys is always 2. Forget alone nights, forget going out with all the 'guys'. Pick one guy, and hit it duo mode. You are way more approachable and girls tend to travel in two's.
If you go out alone, definitely mingle ... have a few drinks to loosen up but mingle. Don't bring up you're alone, wait until they ask about it then say something like you were supposed to meet up with a few friends but their plans changed after you already arrived. Don't admit to dressing up and going out along.. kind of odd. Just white lie, fib and say your other friends didn't show up so you decided to stick it out and see how it went.
That's the thing I see this woman change directions when she sees me at school. I don't look for her or anything. We just run into each other.
I feel women have been giving me the cold shoulder lately especially at school which is why I feel this woman heard something about me. I would like to set the record straight or at least atone if I did anything wrong but I can't if people don't say anything.
Why do women have to be that way
SpectreFire
Member
So I have a drink date with this girl from OKC tomorrow, and I am kind of thrown off by how unnervingly gorgeous she is.
The last time I got set up with a girl this pretty, I totally clammed up the entire night and the friend that made it all happen was not a happy camper at all.
The last time I got set up with a girl this pretty, I totally clammed up the entire night and the friend that made it all happen was not a happy camper at all.
Hypereides
Member
So long time no see dating GAF.
A little update: life is good, have to remember not to drink TOO much when Im talking with girls.
..also, remember flakey girl? yeah, we've become loose "friends with benefits", meaning she and I see other people but if we're both out drinking in the city, horny and we wont find a mate for the night, we'll hook up.
Its a no jealousy, no emotions, no strings attached agreement. We both dig it. Shes not looking for love, neither am I. And if either of us fall in love with one another, we'll cut contact. Pretty simple.
A little update: life is good, have to remember not to drink TOO much when Im talking with girls.
..also, remember flakey girl? yeah, we've become loose "friends with benefits", meaning she and I see other people but if we're both out drinking in the city, horny and we wont find a mate for the night, we'll hook up.
Its a no jealousy, no emotions, no strings attached agreement. We both dig it. Shes not looking for love, neither am I. And if either of us fall in love with one another, we'll cut contact. Pretty simple.
Syracuse022
Member
I saw a movie about this. Interesting.
Boozeroony
Member
So good. Too bad my "friend+" contracted cold sores last week.
Halp! I'm dangerously close to the friend zone with that super hot / cute girl I've talked about before here.
So the points of contention are this: We talked for several months fairly often online before meeting due to our distance and also because I was frankly intimidated by her beauty because she looks better than porn stars I've jacked off to dozens of times.
Somehow she sees me as very strong and she says she thinks she can't hurt my feelings, which is roughly true considering I'm currently also dating 3 other girls BUT she's the cutest so I definitely don't want to 'lose' her to the friend zone.
We've talked about the relationship stuff and she said (paraphrasing a bit), that she had trouble seeing me that way (as in romantically) because of all the time we spent chatting before, and something about 'it would take a while' or something to that extent.
Question is this, I know I have to see her more, do more kino, move my way up, but should I really reduce communications with her.
We've actually talked about communications in our friendship versus a relationship, she even asked last time if we 'were friends' (I can only take this as relationship vs friend level), and I said I saw us as dating but that communications were important.
So what does GAF think. I think I may be cutting things a bit close and maybe I should not ever initialize communications from here on out until we're in a relationship. (She called me last time we talked)
P.S. She talks to me openly about the things she doesn't like in other guys and why she doesn't want to be in a relationship with them. Some of those things are specifically things I have that other guys lack. I guess I worry about being a hot enough guy to hang with her. Seriously, she's gorgeous. She's generally dating around now (actually something I suggested).
Only advice I can give is she's just a human being. I didn't have trouble clamming up, I had brilliant conversations, but it did slow down my game a bit during this last super hottie date.
So the points of contention are this: We talked for several months fairly often online before meeting due to our distance and also because I was frankly intimidated by her beauty because she looks better than porn stars I've jacked off to dozens of times.
Somehow she sees me as very strong and she says she thinks she can't hurt my feelings, which is roughly true considering I'm currently also dating 3 other girls BUT she's the cutest so I definitely don't want to 'lose' her to the friend zone.
We've talked about the relationship stuff and she said (paraphrasing a bit), that she had trouble seeing me that way (as in romantically) because of all the time we spent chatting before, and something about 'it would take a while' or something to that extent.
Question is this, I know I have to see her more, do more kino, move my way up, but should I really reduce communications with her.
We've actually talked about communications in our friendship versus a relationship, she even asked last time if we 'were friends' (I can only take this as relationship vs friend level), and I said I saw us as dating but that communications were important.
So what does GAF think. I think I may be cutting things a bit close and maybe I should not ever initialize communications from here on out until we're in a relationship. (She called me last time we talked)
P.S. She talks to me openly about the things she doesn't like in other guys and why she doesn't want to be in a relationship with them. Some of those things are specifically things I have that other guys lack. I guess I worry about being a hot enough guy to hang with her. Seriously, she's gorgeous. She's generally dating around now (actually something I suggested).
Only advice I can give is she's just a human being. I didn't have trouble clamming up, I had brilliant conversations, but it did slow down my game a bit during this last super hottie date.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I message a girl on OKC. She replies back, then deletes her account afterwards.
There are no words.
There are no words.
Low-g: Stop caring so much, that's the only real answer that will help you in the long run. She's on a pedestal already and mostly because of her physique. Stop chasing and let her do all the work! This kind of exercise won't give you a nice pulse, it'll only give you gray hair faster
I've been chatting with this girl on OKC. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but she seemed really cool and interesting. After three messages back and forth, I ask her out for coffee and get hit by this bomb:
"Sorry but I like to know people a little better before meeting them in person."
Has anyone had to deal with something like this? I'm still interested in this girl, should I just continue our conversation like nothing happened? Normally I ask the girl out after 3 messages and she's fine with it.
"Sorry but I like to know people a little better before meeting them in person."
Has anyone had to deal with something like this? I'm still interested in this girl, should I just continue our conversation like nothing happened? Normally I ask the girl out after 3 messages and she's fine with it.
SpectreFire
Member
True. It's still unfair how inhumanly gorgeous she is, and I'm stuck with the monster task of charming that. Not cool.
Low-g: Stop caring so much, that's the only real answer that will help you in the long run. She's on a pedestal already and mostly because of her physique. Stop chasing and let her do all the work! This kind of exercise won't give you a nice pulse, it'll only give you gray hair faster
Yeah, good point. I even had pedestal discussions with this girl, I should know better. Might be why every other guy is failing hard with her... Thanks for reminding me.
Like I said to the other guy, she's a human being. Gotta remember to treat her like one.
I haven't seen that myself but it kinda makes sense. Might be afraid, might have other dates, might be a lot of things. I'm tempted to suggest you add her to something like Facebook or get her phone number, if she's afraid she's less likely to 'flee' that way.
Happens quite a bit, I've seen that probably 10 times or more. Last girl obviously got back with her boyfriend who she JUST broke up with. She didn't tell me that but it was completely obvious. These girls don't know what they want and they're afraid as shit. Don't take it personally.
Going through some of my old messages like a good 50% have deleted.
Say that's fine and keep going. Some are more shy than others.
Probably. They, and you, are doing what all guys do with hot women
Chase chase chase. Yeah it's fun alright, but there's so much stress involved, and it rarely leads to anything good. You're welcome Treating her like a regular person sounds like the very best thing to do in 99/100 cases.Whew. Ok having an emotional day kinda. I almost texted my ex-fiance and today was a week from the break-up. I guess thats not long enough even though we promised to stay in touch. Also her aunt de-friend-ed me on Facebook which hurt. . I guess a week is too short of a time to try to talk to her again huh?
. I guess a week is too short of a time to try to talk to her again huh?Whew. Ok having an emotional day kinda. I almost texted my ex-fiance and today was a week from the break-up. I guess thats not long enough even though we promised to stay in touch. Also her aunt de-friend-ed me on Facebook which hurt.
yep too soon
Vigilant Walrus
Member
Whew. Ok having an emotional day kinda. I almost texted my ex-fiance and today was a week from the break-up. I guess thats not long enough even though we promised to stay in touch. Also her aunt de-friend-ed me on Facebook which hurt.
I think its better to be de-friended.
my ex just friended me on facebook a week ago. its been 5-6 months. I wish I had not accepted. Now if I have to look at that shit. ugh.
it just felt so petty not to accept it after so long. You want to be happy for her, and somewhere down your heart your okay with her slinging new dick - it hurts because your not slinging comparable pussy. so you feel like a loser.
But you know what I've learned being single? my ambitions, goals, flair... all that shit dwindles and goes away when in a relationship. the comfort, and pussy on the tab.. its so nice, that you just give up.
It made me realize how big a motivator pussy is to be great. suddenly your single and your working harder, studying harder, trying harder, working out harder, doing everything better than when in a relationship. back then you were just you, trying not to loose what you had.
richardhawk
Member
have been lurking for a short while. about to go to a bar gathering for jeremy lin and it's been so long since i've gone outside. maybe i won't be autistic as fuck this time.
Attackthebase
Member
Happened to me once before. Cute girl too. I wouldn't feel hurt by it. Probably other shit was going on in her life. The likelihood that you caused her to delete her account is extremely low.
I joined OKCupid earlier in the month and had a girl start messaging me. Next, she suggested we move to text. After a day or two of that, she wanted me to call her, which I did. We had a good conversation that lasted for an hour or so. After that, we moved back to texting. Should I continue to wait for her to make the moves or should I just go ahead and ask her out to do something? To be honest, I prefer when women take the lead completely. I am extremely indecisive and I would rather continue to just go with the flow, even if that takes me nowhere.
Also, is there anything specific I should be texting? I'm an extremely boring person, so I basically just keep asking her what she is up to and I find it to be pretty repetitive. I mean, she pretty much does the same thing when she texts first. This texting crap is confusing.
Also, is there anything specific I should be texting? I'm an extremely boring person, so I basically just keep asking her what she is up to and I find it to be pretty repetitive. I mean, she pretty much does the same thing when she texts first. This texting crap is confusing.
AdventureRacing
Member
Whew. Ok having an emotional day kinda. I almost texted my ex-fiance and today was a week from the break-up. I guess thats not long enough even though we promised to stay in touch. Also her aunt de-friend-ed me on Facebook which hurt.
Defriending her friends and family was one of the first things i did (it helps that her family is the biggest bunch of assholes on the planet). I don't want to hear about any of that stuff and i think it's easier to just make a clean break. Otherwise i was getting into the nasty habit of using facebook to read stuff about her and she what was going on with her. It just keeps the wounds open.
Kaori's Babydaddy
Banned
I'm in my twenties. I would get my driver's license if I had a job to pay for the insurance that's required to get it. I think I'll try despite the type of girls I'm attracted to other than Asians (which my school doesn't have any decent looking ones) are the ghetto snobs.
Virtually all the women that messaged me first were very fat. Trust me when I say even the fat girls are getting 10 different guys a day messaging her wanting to meet her. On OKC you absolutely have to reach out first and it's a numbers game.
Seriously no good looking Asians? Don't worry about a driver's license if you can't afford driving right now. There's a lot of things that aren't deal breakers. Since you're in school I think it's about as much of a non-issue as if you lived in a city.
This isn't a night club or a bar. The girl may ask you out eventually but it's a little slower than in real life. If girls are on OKC they're either a bit more shy or a bit more lazy (right? I can't think of any other reason and girls have told me those things. I guess they might be super busy too...). Personally I learned how to be decisive and call the shots and it's a good feeling once you get into it, and it's not so hard.
Try to make texting fun. Some girls will go with that more than others. Make something fun out of something you talked about before... Hard to think of examples... Say if she talked about hearing sirens say 'so the police have finally come for you' or anything like that. Don't try too hard to make texting fun, just take your time and think creatively and eventually you'll find your groove.
Girls are always gonna get more dick (than guys get pussy). That's the way of the era, not your fault.
Good warning. I am going to really brace myself for when that hits. I still haven't been in a relationship and the drive I've put towards all my goals, even with pussy on tap, has been extraordinary as long as I don't have a 'girlfriend'.
Probably. They, and you, are doing what all guys do with hot women
She called me again tonight. Starting to feel the 'good' hooks being laid in.
SpectreFire
Member
Date with gorgeous girl went nowhere, it was pretty clear there wasn't any connection there. I think this is the first time I really felt there was legitimately something wrong with me. Maybe I should just take a break from dating for a while.
Devolution
Member
Or you put too much stock in her looks.
Yeah im already in that stage. I need to break it. Ugh. I need to wait it out it seems like. Let things run their course. Hopefully she sees what she lost.
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