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[Oreoleo]

I suffered severe depression because of my Mom's death, deploying to Iraq, watching my family crumble, divorce, discovering my Wife cheated on me, almost losing my daughter, etc on in a short period.

Yikes man, that sounds pretty hellish. Good luck to you in the future.

 

[Vox-Pop]

Stay strong Jea, I'm going throught the same things. I'm not sure how this year is going to end but I think I'm going to have to change. I really hate where I live and I can't seem to find a normal job. Hopefully school helps me turn my attention to something else. I also really need to be more social but it's just hard, I have very little money, an old car that barely works, and just a weird feeling getting in trouble if I venture too far. It's really hard finding people that share the same interest or relate to me. I can't stress enough how much I hate home, wish I was braver so I would just leave without worrying about a place to sleep and such.

 

[Kastro]

My depression comes from being extremely lonely. I honestly have no friends.

I had one friend come into my life recently and I kinda fucked that up and ever since it's hurt even more because I've had that taste of friendship.

I'm used to being alone growing up as an only child but it's really been catching up to me lately. I watched that movie I Love You, Man recently and it hit so close to home it hurt. I don't know how to make friends and meet people, it just seems so daunting. I overanalyze and overthink everything. :\

I also hate my job and don't know what to do with myself career wise. I want to quit and go back to school but I'm not ballsy enough to make such a change.

 

[Dirk Shmiggler]

wow, where to start.. i'll try to be brief.

I have a friend, same exact place back when i was in college days (he didn't go to school),, when we talked, those deep talks, he always made it feel like he was shit, and i had it made (though i don't, didn't, and have never had ANYTHING given to me).......one night about 3 a.m. I got a call from my g/f that he was trying to kill himself on the freeway.. he was in the center of the 4 lane highway trying to get hit, wearing all black, drunk as hell and didn't care, just wanted dead... big guy too (i'm normal sized'ish)... I was able to get him off the road, i had to chase him off the road, trying not to get hit myself, and tackle him into the woods, call my gf and her friends, and somehow managed to throw him in the car and save his fucking ass... I was PISSED at him, asshole, and he was my good friend too. It took me ALL NIGHT and all my physical strength to literally wrestle with him (since my gf's house was close to a road/brige) to keep him from getting back on that road to kill himself. Any amount of talking, or, hell whatever,,, did no good for him and i felt powerless.. we got through that night, somehow....

well, he was still not doing so hot in the months after that, and i, in a way felt pretty bad like i prolonged things for him. He decided to join the navy, and we were so proud of him....only, he didn't make it past entrance b/c they gave him medical leave b/c he FAILED HIS PSYCH entrance b/c of his suicidal nature... SO, after he got back home,, it was even worse... same thing, but even shittier, and he needed some more help, and more often, we made sure to always be with him..... He eventually moved, we still hung out alot, tried to give him something to be in to, happy with.. he got into a new scene, not the best scene, but something to keep his mind off things,, but we always were there for him...always hung out with him, tried to keep him with his friends who cared about him... He wasn't doing great, but was doing.. eventually he got into a 2 year college after a lot of talking and seeing us do it,, i think he needed to see that we were doing it, so he could do it too.. after that, he got into an even better school, now he works for a large bank and is working on a MBA.. he just needed to have the feeling that he actually could do it, and was worth something... Anyone can do it, just put your mind to it, trust in yourself and your abilities,,, get some loans for school, and go, just do it.

We are going to his wedding in a couple of weeks. He is marrying a Doctor's daughter at a country club, works in the city for a large bank, and is doing better than me... who he thought had it made... I couldn't be more proud of him..

It has nothing to do with anything but YOU... just please believe that you can do it, and that's apparently the way it starts... just do something about it... there's no reason to feel persecuted... just take from it what you can learn, and move on..

I never would have thought, back then, that he would be where he is right now. I can't wait to see him 10 days from now on his wedding day... he did thank me one day, and it felt good... now i don't care if he even remembers, i do, and i realize just how people can do things for themselves after watching him, and i try to learn from HIM now...

if you guys have trouble making friends.. i do too.. I have NO friends....I'm finding facebook really helps me find those people who meant something to me. Just don't shut people out, you may be doing it and not knowing it. If you ever had friends or people you could trust in, get in touch with them... they will help you... just reach out. there are good people out there, and they will be there for you, family, friend, co-worker,, etc..

hope this helps... every word of it is 100% true

 

[HurricaneJesus]

Where do you live?

Sometimes you just need to be around different people. I would say to stay away from meds, but I have never taken so much as an aspirin in my life, just because I feel that people rely on meds far too much.

You are still young. I lost my gf of 5 years, failed my last semester of college, and got kicked out of my place, but thanks to this site, and the kind people here, I am now in my own place, and have a job to get me through re-taking the classes I need.

Depression is a fucked up thing. It can seem impossible to get out of. Even still, I sometimes think about my ex, and want to talk to her, but I just try and focus, and let some time pass, and the feelings pass as well. All the shit you are feeling is caused by chemical reactions in your brain. You cannot think straight when that happens. You just have to remember that it will pass in time.

You just have to believe, and do your best to survive. You should probably get rid of that woman that is fucking with you. I had a 'friend' like that, but it is just a destructive cycle, and you need to get away from it.

Hopefully you can meet up with a gaffer or two and just talk about shit. The worst part about being depressed, is having no-one to talk to, and resorting to people who are only making shit worse.

You can get through this. You still have your whole life ahead of you, and one day you will look back on this time in your life, and think about the way you felt, and wonder what you were thinking.

Take care, dude.

question to the people that have taken medication.

Can it really make me go from a state where I am literately laying on the floor, rotting away, thinking life sucks, self pitting myself, feeling that im worthless, to all of a sudden, Waking up, loving life, thinking today is going to be great, I have alot to live for, I can get that job, get that car, get that girl..and even if i didnt get it right away, it still doesnt doesnt get me down? Is there such thing as these magical pills that are spoken off? in all honestlty

No. Anything like that would be temporary, and you don't want to have to take meds for the rest of your life. It is all in the mind. Relying on drugs is not the answer. Even though I never took meds, I used to smoke pot all the time, and now I see that it is not the solution. You need to talk to good people who care about you.

 

[wolfmat]

To get away from suicidal thoughts, you need extrinsic and intrinsic motivation to keep on living. Now, the extrinsic part is easy; everyone you know will tell you that it's stupid, cowardly, that you'll hurt other people and so forth, and that's all true.
The intrinsic part is the hard one. You have to find a reason within yourself to keep on truckin'.

You have to realize that although maybe today, it's all shitty, tomorrow could be a good day. Or the day after that.
Live for the good moments. Seek them. Recognize them. Enjoy them. Remember them.

Get rid of people that drag you down. If you surround yourself with folks that always see the bad side of things, keep on telling you how shitty their life is and so on, you need to get away from them.
I wouldn't say that to a normal person since usually, it's not such a big deal, but if you yourself are already on the dark side, hanging out with others with a similar mindset results in a constant torrent of bad thoughts. You need to get that out of your life. At least for the beginning of your fight against your negativity, you have to have the feeling it's a fresh start. You won't get that if you keep on dragging yourself down with the usual folks.

You should put lots of energy into getting a job. It doesn't really matter what kind of job; don't be too demanding. You need a structured everyday life, with coffee in the morning, the nice girl you see from time to time on the ride to work, the good feeling of getting the money you worked for each month, the crazy people at the job talking shit when everybody gets something to eat, all that.

And of course you should seek professional help. But the first thing you should do is talk to people you care about so they can give you love and a kick in the butt.

 

[Gilby]

I go through similar bouts of depression any time my life goes down the shitter (it has twice in these past 2 years). I don't want to take meds, I find I CAN overcome it, and YOU CAN OVERCOME this too. What I find finally gets me out of it is to accomplish some things that will help get me out of the situation. So apply for as many jobs as you can, even if you have to take a job at a gas station, you can take that while still applying for other jobs. Another helpful thing for me is doing artwork, so if you've got a hobby, get into it again, and do it outside in the sunshine if possible.
Think about joining some sort of activity/sport group or going to the gym. (This also helps burn off some excess hormones, which helps prevent moodiness, which is why I exercise regularly).
Joining a group has the added benefit of introducing you to new people, some of whom may be of the opposite gender, which would help you get over that woman.

Also, a thought that kept/keeps me away from suicide:
"Suicide is the most selfish thing you can do". Basically, don't do it, because you're just passing on all of your troubles to your loved ones, along with a ton of grief. It's taking the easy way out.

 

[Vox-Pop]

Kastro I feel you. I have no friends either. How do people even make friends? At school I try to talk to people but they always seem to have their own group already. I'm also not the outgoing type, I don't party, drink, or do the othertypes of thing kids do these days. Yeah I saw I Love You Man and felt the same way. At least that guy had a girlfriend, I actually thInk I might die alone with no one.

 

[GodfatherX]

I had very strong depression after me and my ex fiancee broke up 4 months before our wedding date. On top of that I have suffered from OCD for about a decade, and for about 5 years I was a guinea pig for the local mental clinic to test various drugs with absolutely no actual therapy help. Name a mental health drug and I have been on it for atleast 2 weeks.

One thing you learn is that everybody is different. Everyone responds to drugs and therapy differently. None of the drugs I took for OCD helped at all, and it wasn't until I got into an actual OCD group therapy session that I was able to start controlling my illness.

 

[Kastro]

Kastro I feel you. I have no friends either. How do people even make friends? At school I try to talk to people but they always seem to have their own group already.

EXACTLY.. that's how I feel too, the whole "i already have my group of friends and am not looking for more" thing

im pretty good at making small talk and making "class" friends but I never seem to be able to extend beyond that.

At least that guy had a girlfriend, I actually thInk I might die alone with no one.

Yeah I meant to say except for the whole girlfriend thing

I honestly think I would be perfectly satisfied with a girlfriend and no friends, but I have to imagine most girls would find that kinda sad. :\

 

[Jea Song]

My depression comes from being extremely lonely. I honestly have no friends.

I had one friend come into my life recently and I kinda fucked that up and ever since it's hurt even more because I've had that taste of friendship.

I'm used to being alone growing up as an only child but it's really been catching up to me lately. I watched that movie I Love You, Man recently and it hit so close to home it hurt. I don't know how to make friends and meet people, it just seems so daunting. I overanalyze and overthink everything. :\

I also hate my job and don't know what to do with myself career wise. I want to quit and go back to school but I'm not ballsy enough to make such a change.

exactly how i feel. Check PM

 

[wolfmat]

Well, everybody who feels depressed because of loneliness should at least recognize that a lot of people are lonely (as we can see in this thread). All these lonely people could use a new friend.. That's where YOU come in.

 

[Kastro]

I am glad to hear that you don't drink though Vox-Pop.

Drinking for a depressed person is extremely dangerous, I speak from first hand knowledge. I would drink to escape from my depression and I ended up in rehab.. that, of course, only managed to keep me sober for a specified period of time because when I was released I was still in the same boat as I was in before, lonely with no friends.

I still struggle with my drinking on a daily basis and have spent an embarrassing amount of money on the shit. I've tried AA and and other approaches to sobriety but I don't think I am an alcoholic (I know every alcoholic says this), I feel like I drink merely because I'm lonely and depressed.

I just don't know how to get out of the rut I'm in.. I know drinking doesn't help but it's such an easy escape that I keep falling back into.

 

[Solideliquid]

Where do you live? There are several mental health clinics which offer services to people without insurance.

Also, go to this website http://www.nami.org/ to learn more about mental illness, and the resources available in your area.

Please get some care, there are resources available.

 

[Vox-Pop]

I am glad to hear that you don't drink though Vox-Pop.

Drinking for a depressed person is extremely dangerous, I speak from first hand knowledge. I would drink to escape from my depression and I ended up in rehab.. that, of course, only managed to keep me sober for a specified period of time because when I was released I was still in the same boat as I was in before, lonely with no friends.

I still struggle with my drinking on a daily basis and have spent an embarrassing amount of money on the shit. I've tried AA and and other approaches to sobriety but I don't think I am an alcoholic (I know every alcoholic says this), I feel like I drink merely because I'm lonely and depressed.

I just don't know how to get out of the rut I'm in.. I know drinking doesn't help but it's such an easy escape that I keep falling back into.

Any Bowie fan is a friend of mine.

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

Hi, I'll keep this short.

basically over the past two years my 1st cousin who was basically like my brother commited suicide, which in turn drove me to depression which broke down the relationship with my fiance (long distance, so it was hard anyway)

When I say I was depressed, I was fucking depressed. I didn't ever want to wake up, I lived life like I wanted to just not die. I was on medication for like one day, until my brother said it's not the way to do it. I was in my last year of uni and I hadn't finished my dissertation nor had I taken 2 exams.

It took nothing but mental strength and sometimes someone just pushing you to get through. It's not going to be easy, nah ah..hell no. But things WILL get better if you move with a positive mentality. I'm not going to pretend like you'll have a positive outlook on everything, but say for example achieve something small. Take a free class at school or the local community centre, complete a game (for me it was MGS4)..but do something you can easily over come to have a sense of achievable(ness)

If you say you have lost your best friends, trust me; they aren't your best friends. Best friends are always there for you, so if they aren't there during your hardship, then fuck them. I know suicide seems easier than the dull pain you feel everyday, because I have been there over the past 2 years. But I know from experience things will slowly get better. I finished uni, I got my graduate job and I'm slowly enjoying life. I still get upset, but that's all, just upset.

Just don't give up

 

[Zyzyxxz]

Hang in there OP, you just gotta put one foot in front of the other and get yourself back on your feet.

The first step is always the hardest but just find a goal worth striving for.

Even if its a small goal, you gotta find something you want and it doesnt have to be grand, suicide is never the answer.

 

[-PXG-]

Seek professional help

.

Seriously OP. Get fuck off GAF and get some help. NOW!

 

[Learn2read]

What city do you live in? Many have crisis/distress centers that will offer some free (or income adjusted) counselling.

 

[cashman]

Mine is more related to the closest people around me, just watching them without any goals in life is what depresses me. My parents, my wife everyone depends on me and my ability to solve problems. My mother in law hates me for some odd reason, my brother in law only calls me when he needs money or a ride.

I am 23 and a manager at a local Mortgage servicing company, so I make decent money for my age. If I could afford I would go back to school in a heartbeat and I am currently working on starting a company related to my current job in the next couple of years.

But everyone else around me is just blaming others for their mistakes and problems, and not doing anything about it. When I tell my wife and parents, they get mad and dismiss it, again blaming everyone else.

I have been employed since I was 15, and since then never without a job, never took a vacation longer than a week. Can't afford a nice vacation since wife has been unemployed for 10+ months.... I could keep on going...

:/

there, there Michael Bluth

 

[half a moon]

My depression comes from being extremely lonelpy. I honestly have no friends.

I had one friend come into my life recently and I kinda fucked that up and ever since it's hurt even more because I've had that taste of friendship.

I'm used to being alone growing up as an only child but it's really been catching up to me lately. I watched that movie I Love You, Man recently and it hit so close to home it hurt. I don't know how to make friends and meet people, it just seems so daunting. I overanalyze and overthink everything. :\

I also hate my job and don't know what to do with myself career wise. I want to quit and go back to school but I'm not ballsy enough to make such a change.

I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was recently prescribed effexor but I'm afraid to take it. I took cymbalta in the past with success.

I have no friends either. This is the biggest issue I have.

 

[Fantasmo]

God I hate reading threads like this because they put me back to where I used to be....

1) Start small. Life right now might feel a little bit like walking in the dark in a room full of traps. Be aware that the only trap is your mind and the pain you're keeping in there.

2) Talk to strangers, scream in a pillow, write a lot, confide in someone, pray, get that negative energy out in a positive and safe way.

3) Exercise. Get good sleep. Eat well. Force yourself to do so no matter how impossible or worthless it may seem right now. Stretch, meditate. Take a warm bath and just soak. Stay away from drugs and alcohol.

4) Do one good deed everyday and pat yourself on the back when you do. Do not do this for gratitude, do it because you made someone feel good, and you felt good to do it.

5) Let go of those that keep you down and/or stand your ground to them. If they are close to you, and you trust them, let them know that you're suffering. If they don't work with you, or continue bringing you down, gone, at least for now.

6) People have a hard enough time dealing with their own issues to be able to help, and even if they wanted to, they probably don't know how to help or what to do anyway, fear.

This is the most important. NOBODY CAN SAVE YOU EXCEPT YOU. Even if 90% of the day is pain and suffering, emotions change and flow. Even if they seem permanent, they still change, but they only way to make them STAY better, is if you put a shitload of work into making them change positively. Learn. Do. Make smart moves. Work towards stability.

People WILL hurt if you continue your depression, and will hurt for the rest of their lives if you kill yourself despite anything you may think. I've seen it firsthand and experienced it myself. I lost a good 2 years of my life picking myself back up due to an unnecessary loss, and I didn't even know the person, just a very close bystander.

Start making some moves, however small, in the right direction.

Life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon.

 

[industrian]

I've been in-out-in-out-in-out-in-out-shake-it-all-about with depression for the last ten years. I've never taken medication and I feel too akward talking about myself to see a councillor or whatever. My depression is based on many factors really: my weight (I struggled with weight problems all through high school and up until 2005), my lack of a steady relationship and primarily with my inability to match my own expectations of what I think I should be. On the 27 September 2003 (I remember it like it was yesterday) I was going to commit suidice but passed out before I could do it, and I decided to make changes after that. Losing weight and going to university patched my life up, but going to Korea has made my depression almost go away completely.

But I can't say this enough really, if something is troubling me I used to internalise it and just store it up. Don't do this. Talk to someone about it. A common belief that depressed people have is that they are alone in their suffering - and this is bullshit. Everyone is worried about something, and the fear of looking weak sometimes holds people back from talking about it. Don't fall into this trap.

 

[Kastro]

I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was recently prescribed effexor but I'm afraid to take it. I took cymbalta in the past with success.

I have no friends either. This is the biggest issue I have.

I'm on lexapro 20 mg

i dont know if its doing anything though. It's really just another crutch alongside my drinking.

It's not getting to the root of my problem.

 

[Kipz]

My girlfriend also lefted me. She got married within 3 months and had a child.

Cheer up mang you dodged a bullet.

 

[JTran2003]

im in a similar boat:

24 who lost my job in december and still cant find another so had to move back into my parents house which no one lives in but me at the moment. i also have to bum off my family which makes me feel more like shit because i am useless and i really hate that feeling. i feel like i amounted to nothing because i cant even take care of myself at this age... im still in school but im so behind that it feels like i may never finish. my ex was my first love and when we broke up 2 years ago, made life really hard to live. tried to work things out with her but that went even worse for when i realized it wouldnt work between me and her, she went crazy on me, damaged property, and scared me for life. now im afraid of home where i stay by myself, and blame myself for the way she turned out. i have a brother and sisters but have always felt alone in life. never been able to keep friends to the point where its just me and i had come to terms with that and accept the fact that i will be alone for my entire life. i question why i am still alive and wonder whats the point of living to the point where i become even more depressed when i wake up each day. i think of suicide all the time but dont have the courage to do it but sometimes i fear i would allow my ex to do it for me which scares me because i know i can defend myself against her. i dont really like the thought of giving up... used to be a psych major so studies did help me overcome it a little but because of that, gave me a strong belief in not taking medication because its all about mind power and i truly believe that its up to me to get out of this. not saying that drugs dont help because i know some people that do and helped turn their life around, but i dont think its for me. sometimes i think about taking the drugs though because i just want to start feeling happy.

i used to not have things to keep me going. school kind of keeps me going though but the amount of time i have left makes me wonder if i will ever finish... i still have roughly 6+ years left for i want to be a doctor (changed my major to pre-med) but it does excite me to think i will someday reach that goal. i think the thing that keeps me going even more is my 2 nieces age 2 and 3 and my nephew age 7 weeks. i love being around them.

i wish i could seek professional help but right now i cant afford it. maybe thats just an excuse as well.. but im starting to look on the bright side, even though i am never able to see it. i basically force positive thinking on myself to try and make it through the day which has actually helped. not sure if its working though because people think i have a positive outlook but it doesnt feel that way inside... i think the best thing to do is look for whatever it is that gives you a moment of happiness and hold on to it. i live a 6 hour drive away from my nieces and nephew so i dont get to see them much for they never are able to visit me. but the times i spend with them i hold on to for it makes me smile. it also excites me to think i may one day reach my goal and finish school. i always wanted to just help people and have that kind of knowledge so i can most importantly help the ones i love and care about most. i dont see any happiness in my future, but it is starting to make me happy to think i have a chance at happiness. like Zyzyxxz said,

Hang in there OP, you just gotta put one foot in front of the other and get yourself back on your feet.

The first step is always the hardest but just find a goal worth striving for.

Even if its a small goal, you gotta find something you want and it doesnt have to be grand, suicide is never the answer.

giving up is the last thing you should do. i strongly believe each individual is here for a reason. you just need to find out what that is. im still searching, but its one of the main things that keeps me going...

follow this as well:

But I can't say this enough really, if something is troubling me I used to internalise it and just store it up. Don't do this. Talk to someone about it. A common belief that depressed people have is that they are alone in their suffering - and this is bullshit. Everyone is worried about something, and the fear of looking weak sometimes holds people back from talking about it. Don't fall into this trap.

i dont really have anyone to talk to because people tend to come and go in my life. once i get close, either they or myself leave in some way. but talking is very important. i did help me when i had a person to turn to. right now, i try to do things that relax me or get my mind off it. i really like watching scrubs which is my favorite show and it always gives me a laugh. it helps me through the day because once i start feeling better, i can think about my problems and work them out. i also like to do things that feel relaxing to me like looking at the stars or sky and see the wonderful things nature has given. its to the point now that my problems started at the beginning are still problems, but they dont make me sad anymore; they are roadblocks that i just need to go around. it feels good to think that is possible no matter how difficult it may be.

 

[iFootball]

Hi GAF... this thread makes me sad.. specially because I've seen what a mild depression can do to people, and how quickly it can degrade if you don't somehow gather energy to dig yourself out of the hole you're in.

I'd like to share with everyone what made a huge difference for someone very close to me with a mild depression:

http://www.sjwinfo.org/

Welcome! Since 1997, tens of millions of people have visited this site. It's about overcoming depression. Many people have also contributed their experiences in the forum, adding great value to the information herein. The site is primarily about using St. John's Wort (Latin name hypericum perforatum) as a highly effective, natural treatment for depression. But other over-the-counter options are discussed as well. There's more collective experience here on the subject than anywhere else on the Internet. There's no ads and I'm not selling you anything, either.

I won't say it works miracles or that it works for everyone, but: if you have people that will be there for you no matter what, and you are willing to accept that no one else but yourself will take you out of this, this natural substance will (in our experience) give you that extra boost you need...

Please understand that this method takes patience, it can take up to 6 months to feel like yourself again... but believe me, I would have not taken the time to write this if SJW hadn't actually worked for us... I can't really express how grateful I am, or what a difference this made in our lives.

Be strong and good luck!

 

[Grecco]

I'm not sure why I am resorting here for this type of question or help, but strangly i find some of the things people here to make alot of sense. Here's the scoop.

Iv taken those tests online about depression, and bi polar disorders, and its clear I may have something of that nature. These past 2 years have been to worst of my life, and I just haven't the will, or motivation to get back on my feet. I have lost my girlfriend, my best friends, all my personal belongings. I live with my brother, I feel like such a bum, leeching off of his hard work.

I wasnt always this way. I had a decent life. I was going to school, had a girlfriend of 3 years that loved me, had a car, had an ok job. I was liking life...

But it got taken away, when I lost my job. My girlfriend also lefted me. She got married within 3 months and had a child. I live now in a dumphole, with barely access to internet.

I am a needy person, who has been bothering this one woman to the point where she wished me dead. ( we have this strange relationship, that continues like this)

Now, I feel like ending myself yet again. But too much a pussy to do it. I think I might be crazy, I dont exclude it. But I can sense it.


SO my question is.

Is there anyone out there, that have had similar experiences, that discovered with medication, things can change? Or anyone that has gone trough this type of depression, maybe even worse off, yet managed to completely turn themselves around? Im 24 years old and Im starting for the first time in my life, think how suicide would end this daily thing i go through.

Get help. Medication believe it or not helps alot.

 

[AppleBlade]

My best advice is to find a local church and start attending not only on Sundays but also on special events. They usually need volunteers so it'll keep you busy. It will also give you a good opportunity to meet new people and maybe even find a girl that you like. If you really don't feel comfortable doing that, here are a couple of things that make me feel better when I go through "down" periods:


1) Accomplishments. Completing a task and completing it well always makes me happier, even if it is a small goal or task, you feel better. If you are living with someone, do something nice for them (i.e. Cook them dinner). Fix something that has been broken for a long time and you've been meaning to fix. If you're overweight, start going to the gym and the first time you weigh yourself and you see you've lost 5 pounds you'll be ecstatic.

2) Appearance. When you have no job and no social life it's easy to let your room/apartment get messy and also to not get dressed up or even shower regularly. That's a one way ticket to depression-ville. You need to clean your room, organize your living space, and make sure you smell good and look good. Do this every day, especially in the morning.

3) Activities. Friends, Acquaintances, and human interaction in general is not just going to fall into your lap. Do some activities out of the house. (i.e. Local Volunteer Work, Martial Arts class, Go hiking, etc.). If you don't have a job get one. Even if you're waiting on a better job, get a small part-time in the meantime. Besides the extra income, it'll keep you busy and will open your opportunities to make friends.

 

[Amory]

I've been in favor of medication for the depressed for...as long as I've been on this forum. many say that it's just a ploy from the pharmaceutical companies, but I've taken them (Paxil and Lexapro...but I prefer Lexapro... and occasionally Klonopin) and within a year my psyche improved, I became a more confident person, and I've ultimately become the person I've always wanted to be. We have become a world dependent on drugs, but antidepressants and antianxiety medications work.

 

[Fantasmo]

question to the people that have taken medication.

Can it really make me go from a state where I am literately laying on the floor, rotting away, thinking life sucks, self pitting myself, feeling that im worthless, to all of a sudden, Waking up, loving life, thinking today is going to be great, I have alot to live for, I can get that job, get that car, get that girl..and even if i didnt get it right away, it still doesnt doesnt get me down? Is there such thing as these magical pills that are spoken off? in all honestlty

If the ones you take work with your brain chemistry, they will take some of the weight off and pick you up a bit higher, maybe put some color back into life. They tend to lift the low moods, and mute the really high moods, putting you in a more stable spot mentally, so you can physically make positive changes.

That said, antidepressants are only tools. They help get the job done but they do not do the job for you. They may give you the hammer you need to build the house, and maybe a little bit of motivation to do so, but they will not build the house for you.

 

[Amory]

If the ones you take work with your brain chemistry, they will take some of the weight off and pick you up a bit higher, maybe put some color back into life. They tend to lift the low moods, and mute the really high moods, putting you in a more stable spot mentally, so you can physically make positive changes.

That said, antidepressants are only tools. They help get the job done but they do not do the job for you. They may give you the hammer you need to build the house, and maybe a little bit of motivation to do so, but they will not build the house for you.

By the way, yes. All of this. Medication worked for me, but I also had to do a lot of work to get myself where I wanted to be.

 

[gutter_trash]

I've been in favor of medication for the depressed for...as long as I've been on this forum. many say that it's just a ploy from the pharmaceutical companies, but I've taken them (Paxil and Lexapro...but I prefer Lexapro... and occasionally Klonopin) and within a year my psyche improved, I became a more confident person, and I've ultimately become the person I've always wanted to be. We have become a world dependent on drugs, but antidepressants and antianxiety medications work.

it's best to seek a psychologist first before taking these,
some people have milder cases that can be delt without meds if the person act on the things bothering him,
others need the meds because even solving problems doesn't cure the depression for those people

 

[Fantasmo]

I am glad to hear that you don't drink though Vox-Pop.

Drinking for a depressed person is extremely dangerous, I speak from first hand knowledge. I would drink to escape from my depression and I ended up in rehab.. that, of course, only managed to keep me sober for a specified period of time because when I was released I was still in the same boat as I was in before, lonely with no friends.

I still struggle with my drinking on a daily basis and have spent an embarrassing amount of money on the shit. I've tried AA and and other approaches to sobriety but I don't think I am an alcoholic (I know every alcoholic says this), I feel like I drink merely because I'm lonely and depressed.

I just don't know how to get out of the rut I'm in.. I know drinking doesn't help but it's such an easy escape that I keep falling back into.

I drank heavily during my most severe depression.

Drugs and alcohol are taken for emotion changing and compensation. However, what goes up, must come down!

Take away the alcohol for a second and ask yourself what would happen if you stayed up until 4 am, dehydrated yourself intentionally, didn't sleep much, and ate really crappy or very little for the next day or two. You'd be "off". Probably very off. Maybe irritable, anxious, in pain, or many other things.

So you felt better for a couple hours. Well, alcohol wears off, so unless you drank to just have fun or loosen up, and you did this without sacrificing anything, the reason you drank it is still there and now your brain and body are drained of all its nutrients, fuel, and energy. Those minutes or hours of pleasure throw your functions off for hours or days.

Now add the fact that drugs and alcohol rewire your mood regulators (dopamine, serotonin, epinephrine, norepinephrine), and you start to see why this cycle perpetuates itself. You haven't fixed anything that led you to the drinking, you actually made it worse, because you can't function normally now, and you don't have the energy to fix it, so you drink more, to escape even further.

You now have more problems than you started with. But it's okay! Alcohol will numb you to those problems too. Oops, more problems

Round and round we go!
Open your eyes to the drug/alcohol cycle.

Hit the GAF workout thread. Learn to exercise and eat properly in there and get proper nutrients. The free ebook "The Way Up From Down" has great info on nutrients or lack thereof. Helps reduce the craving you have for alcohol.

Find a personal hobby or passion. Find several if you need to. This will reduce craving too.

Listen to others in this thread. Lots of good info here.

 

[B.K.]

I've been depressed for a few years. I've thought about suicide for a long time, but I'll never do it. I'm too much of a coward.

 

[Geneijin]

Find someone who you can talk to. Even if you think it's worthless, you might be surprised how much of a relief it is to simply talk the weight off your shoulders. It doesn't even have to be a professional. Someone you feel comfortable confiding in.

Also, I don't think medication is something you need to consider immediately. If you are indeed suffering that much then, seek professional advice from a doctor and have him check up on you.

 

[Mighty]

wow, where to start.. i'll try to be brief.

I have a friend, same exact place back when i was in college days (he didn't go to school),, when we talked, those deep talks, he always made it feel like he was shit, and i had it made (though i don't, didn't, and have never had ANYTHING given to me).......one night about 3 a.m. I got a call from my g/f that he was trying to kill himself on the freeway.. he was in the center of the 4 lane highway trying to get hit, wearing all black, drunk as hell and didn't care, just wanted dead... big guy too (i'm normal sized'ish)... I was able to get him off the road, i had to chase him off the road, trying not to get hit myself, and tackle him into the woods, call my gf and her friends, and somehow managed to throw him in the car and save his fucking ass... I was PISSED at him, asshole, and he was my good friend too. It took me ALL NIGHT and all my physical strength to literally wrestle with him (since my gf's house was close to a road/brige) to keep him from getting back on that road to kill himself. Any amount of talking, or, hell whatever,,, did no good for him and i felt powerless.. we got through that night, somehow....

well, he was still not doing so hot in the months after that, and i, in a way felt pretty bad like i prolonged things for him. He decided to join the navy, and we were so proud of him....only, he didn't make it past entrance b/c they gave him medical leave b/c he FAILED HIS PSYCH entrance b/c of his suicidal nature... SO, after he got back home,, it was even worse... same thing, but even shittier, and he needed some more help, and more often, we made sure to always be with him..... He eventually moved, we still hung out alot, tried to give him something to be in to, happy with.. he got into a new scene, not the best scene, but something to keep his mind off things,, but we always were there for him...always hung out with him, tried to keep him with his friends who cared about him... He wasn't doing great, but was doing.. eventually he got into a 2 year college after a lot of talking and seeing us do it,, i think he needed to see that we were doing it, so he could do it too.. after that, he got into an even better school, now he works for a large bank and is working on a MBA.. he just needed to have the feeling that he actually could do it, and was worth something... Anyone can do it, just put your mind to it, trust in yourself and your abilities,,, get some loans for school, and go, just do it.

We are going to his wedding in a couple of weeks. He is marrying a Doctor's daughter at a country club, works in the city for a large bank, and is doing better than me... who he thought had it made... I couldn't be more proud of him..

It has nothing to do with anything but YOU... just please believe that you can do it, and that's apparently the way it starts... just do something about it... there's no reason to feel persecuted... just take from it what you can learn, and move on..

I never would have thought, back then, that he would be where he is right now. I can't wait to see him 10 days from now on his wedding day... he did thank me one day, and it felt good... now i don't care if he even remembers, i do, and i realize just how people can do things for themselves after watching him, and i try to learn from HIM now...

if you guys have trouble making friends.. i do too.. I have NO friends....I'm finding facebook really helps me find those people who meant something to me. Just don't shut people out, you may be doing it and not knowing it. If you ever had friends or people you could trust in, get in touch with them... they will help you... just reach out. there are good people out there, and they will be there for you, family, friend, co-worker,, etc..

hope this helps... every word of it is 100% true

Hey man, I just wanted to give your story some recognition. It can be a difficult job, helping your friend like that. Takes someone with a lot of heart.

 

[mrkgoo]

I don't know what it is about threads like this - always brings 'em out of the wood work.

All I can really add is that you guys aren't alone. Just look. You're all in this boat together.

We've all been there, it's totally normal.

 

[zoukka]

I know many people who defeated depression through medication.

I wish someone would've helped me get help when I was in the depths. Luckily I made it out just by slowly building my life again piece by piece. And thus I think I'm good for life

 

[Rayo]

A couple years ago I decided that my mood is determined by only one person, me. I can choose how I focus on things and how I react to them. Ultimately it is me that chooses my mood and that's all there is to it.

 

[J Tourettes]

I'm not sure why I am resorting here for this type of question or help, but strangly i find some of the things people here to make alot of sense. Here's the scoop.

Iv taken those tests online about depression, and bi polar disorders, and its clear I may have something of that nature. These past 2 years have been to worst of my life, and I just haven't the will, or motivation to get back on my feet. I have lost my girlfriend, my best friends, all my personal belongings. I live with my brother, I feel like such a bum, leeching off of his hard work.

I wasnt always this way. I had a decent life. I was going to school, had a girlfriend of 3 years that loved me, had a car, had an ok job. I was liking life...

But it got taken away, when I lost my job. My girlfriend also lefted me. She got married within 3 months and had a child. I live now in a dumphole, with barely access to internet.

I am a needy person, who has been bothering this one woman to the point where she wished me dead. ( we have this strange relationship, that continues like this)

Now, I feel like ending myself yet again. But too much a pussy to do it. I think I might be crazy, I dont exclude it. But I can sense it.


SO my question is.

Is there anyone out there, that have had similar experiences, that discovered with medication, things can change? Or anyone that has gone trough this type of depression, maybe even worse off, yet managed to completely turn themselves around? Im 24 years old and Im starting for the first time in my life, think how suicide would end this daily thing i go through.

My depression is a bitch and has been pretty bad for about the past year. In my late teens it was very bad, coupled with insomnia (tried cutting, not really for me, so I resorted to taking some of my toenails off from time to time). I thought it was just teenage angst at the time so I didn't bother to get help. However, after years of this (I'm now 30) my most recent gf convinced me to see a doctor about my insomnia and the doc diagnosed sever depression. I've chopped and changed anti-depressants and I'm finally on one that at least alleviates my insomnia but as for alleviating the depression? Not so much.

This doesn't mean that you can't be helped. My doctor doesn't think that my depression has any triggers, it just 'is' ie a chemical imbalance. Having said that I'm going to be asked to be referred to a counsellor on my next visit.

Reading your post it seems that there are some obvious triggers which means that treating it should be far simpler. I've had a couple of very good friends who suffered from this type and they both got through it via ads and counselling and both of them are now off the ads, finished counselling and are getting on with their lives.

My depression makes me feel like a class traitor and also the fact that I really have nothing to be depressed about in the grand old scheme of things can tend to make it worse.

 

[Xun]

lolamericaandallofthemeds

Seriously, fuck meds.

I suffer with a lot of depression from OCD, and I would NEVER touch medication. There are other options.

 

[J Tourettes]

lolamericaandallofthemeds

Seriously, fuck meds.

I suffer with a lot of depression from OCD, and I would NEVER touch medication. There are other options.

I'm not American but yes there are other ways and despite all the anti-med stuff out there, lots of people can and do get better after being on ads.

However I do agree that they're not for everyone (shit's not really affected me yet apart from making me a tetchy motherfucker) so people should make sure to erxplore all the options.

 

[Feep]

lolamericaandallofthemeds

Seriously, fuck meds.

I suffer with a lot of depression from OCD, and I would NEVER touch medication. There are other options.

A statement both ignorant and arrogant.

While I'll be the first to admit that people are far too reliant to turn to a prescription instead of within themselves for answers, many depressions are in fact caused by medical reasons and can be effectively and safely treated using the proper medication.

This is why the OP (and others) need to seek council and professional assistance. Most communities have free assistance programs set up to help those in need; everyone feeling this way should seek them out. They're usually just one Google search away.

And to the OP: Best of luck. GAF wishes you good fortune, and while our text-on-a-screen cannot replace the comfort and presence of true, real-life friends, we're pullin' for ya. If you ever need to talk, hit me up on AIM:

Spoiler

SoulstreakX

.

 

[Kozak]

Struggle through it.

We are men.

 

[roosters93]

Sometimes I get a little depressed but reading threads like this puts it all in perspective.
Good luck OP and all those others coping with manic depression.

 

[neojubei]

Yeah, in a roundabout way, I agree. Happiness, comfort, escaping the pain... there are a number of justifications (feel free to add your own air quotes), and I don't think a person, whether in or after their life, should be criticized for making that choice.

so true.

 

[Bitmap Frogs]

I went through some depression myself as a consecuence of some heavy, heavy shit hitting me. I also was practically alone at the time. Add in insomnia, sleep paralysis, severe hipocondria. Make no mistake, these are very poor conditions for a man to find himself in.

I got out of it first by... laughing. I found out I forgot about everything while laughing so I scoured the web for anything remotely funny and laughed my ass off. A few months later I found a purpose for my life (my work) and things have changed. As I had some disposable income I did a few months of therapy and that helped me a lot - you gotta be careful with this one, if you don't get a good therapist it's wasted time and money.

Sometimes I still feel the sadness and emptiness inside me but I've learned to move past.

My advice? find people to talk to, I mean real people not internet forums/chatrooms. That helps a lot.

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

Get help

 

[gamergirly]

im in a similar boat:

24 who lost my job in december and still cant find another so had to move back into my parents house which no one lives in but me at the moment. i also have to bum off my family which makes me feel more like shit because i am useless and i really hate that feeling. i feel like i amounted to nothing because i cant even take care of myself at this age... im still in school but im so behind that it feels like i may never finish. my ex was my first love and when we broke up 2 years ago, made life really hard to live. tried to work things out with her but that went even worse for when i realized it wouldnt work between me and her, she went crazy on me, damaged property, and scared me for life. now im afraid of home where i stay by myself, and blame myself for the way she turned out. i have a brother and sisters but have always felt alone in life. never been able to keep friends to the point where its just me and i had come to terms with that and accept the fact that i will be alone for my entire life. i question why i am still alive and wonder whats the point of living to the point where i become even more depressed when i wake up each day. i think of suicide all the time but dont have the courage to do it but sometimes i fear i would allow my ex to do it for me which scares me because i know i can defend myself against her. i dont really like the thought of giving up... used to be a psych major so studies did help me overcome it a little but because of that, gave me a strong belief in not taking medication because its all about mind power and i truly believe that its up to me to get out of this. not saying that drugs dont help because i know some people that do and helped turn their life around, but i dont think its for me. sometimes i think about taking the drugs though because i just want to start feeling happy.

i used to not have things to keep me going. school kind of keeps me going though but the amount of time i have left makes me wonder if i will ever finish... i still have roughly 6+ years left for i want to be a doctor (changed my major to pre-med) but it does excite me to think i will someday reach that goal. i think the thing that keeps me going even more is my 2 nieces age 2 and 3 and my nephew age 7 weeks. i love being around them.

i wish i could seek professional help but right now i cant afford it. maybe thats just an excuse as well.. but im starting to look on the bright side, even though i am never able to see it. i basically force positive thinking on myself to try and make it through the day which has actually helped. not sure if its working though because people think i have a positive outlook but it doesnt feel that way inside... i think the best thing to do is look for whatever it is that gives you a moment of happiness and hold on to it. i live a 6 hour drive away from my nieces and nephew so i dont get to see them much for they never are able to visit me. but the times i spend with them i hold on to for it makes me smile. it also excites me to think i may one day reach my goal and finish school. i always wanted to just help people and have that kind of knowledge so i can most importantly help the ones i love and care about most. i dont see any happiness in my future, but it is starting to make me happy to think i have a chance at happiness. like Zyzyxxz said,

giving up is the last thing you should do. i strongly believe each individual is here for a reason. you just need to find out what that is. im still searching, but its one of the main things that keeps me going...

follow this as well:


i dont really have anyone to talk to because people tend to come and go in my life. once i get close, either they or myself leave in some way. but talking is very important. i did help me when i had a person to turn to. right now, i try to do things that relax me or get my mind off it. i really like watching scrubs which is my favorite show and it always gives me a laugh. it helps me through the day because once i start feeling better, i can think about my problems and work them out. i also like to do things that feel relaxing to me like looking at the stars or sky and see the wonderful things nature has given. its to the point now that my problems started at the beginning are still problems, but they dont make me sad anymore; they are roadblocks that i just need to go around. it feels good to think that is possible no matter how difficult it may be.

Hey dude. If you need somebody to talk to, just PM me. Or anyone who's offered help. You are not alone. Sure none of us are where you are now. But that doesn't mean that we don't exist. Or that you have to keep your feelings bottled up. You may even be able to meet up with some people on Xbox Live and play some online games. Will make you have fun and forget about life at times.