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[Garlador]

Alex Proyas, why?

You did the Crow and Dark City, man! I even dug I, Robot!

 

[More Fun To Compute]

Funny you would say Ghana instead of Sudan....

Egypt has more shared history with the Middle East and the rest of Africa than it does with Europe. And today, there's nothing European about Egypt. It's like you haven't been there at all.

You make it sound like what they were trying make here was a realistic social drama set in present day Egypt.

 

[Messofanego]

You make it sound like what they were trying make here was a realistic social drama set in present day Egypt.

Ah yes, now we've made it to the "it's fiction, did you expect a documentary?!" phase of arguments.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

Ah yes, now we've made it to the "it's fiction, did you expect a documentary?!" phase of arguments.

No we make it to the talking at cross purposes now it's obvious there is no attempt to try to understand the other position or remember what they said phase.

 

[Messofanego]

Most of those dudes aren't Egyptian and most of them pass as white. Naming Israelis as ethnically Egyptian is especially silly. There's a whole book about how Israelites aren't Egyptian, maybe you've heard of it? Also contemporary Israel-Egypt relations aren't, you know, the best.

I'm not upset about anything here.

Uh, none of them pass off as white.

 

[vinnygambini]

Gods of Egypt opening-weekend estimates have decreased from $15M to $10.5M

Spoiler

China will save it

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/lions-gates-gods-of-egypt-probably-wont-be-the-success-it-hoped-2016-02-25?link=MW_home_latest_news

 

[Corpekata]

This clip is also great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyLRAqMLaqI

Yikes. Are we sure this wasn't directed by the Wachowskis?

 

[Jack Remington]

I honestly thought the trailers looked great. I'll probably catch this one.

 

[Ridley327]

AV Club's review.

That opening image is amazing in of itself, but this paragraph... holy shit:

Yet there’s something to be said for Proyas’ effects-driven, fantasy-kitsch vision of the surreal cosmology of Egyptian myth. Ra (Geoffrey Rush), who can grow bigger or smaller through the power of a constipated facial expression, totes the Sun across the flat disk of the Earth on his spacecraft-like solar barque, spending each night in battle with Apep, the Lovecraftian ancient that dwells in the primordial abyss beyond the cosmic ocean. Snake-tongued assassins ride fire-breathing giant cobras that resemble the sandworms of Dune. The gods bleed gold paint over their gold armor in palaces inlaid with even more gold. There are chariots pulled by giant scarab beetles; sedan chairs carried aloft by hundreds of birds; staves that shoot red death-rays; gods who transform into glistening animal-headed robots and then throw each other at architecturally impossible buildings while the human rabble flees. Every dress has more plunging neckline than fabric.

I'll say it: this deserved someone more like Paul WS Anderson in the director's chair.

 

[Count Dookkake]

AV Club's review.

That opening image is amazing in of itself, but this paragraph... holy shit:



I'll say it: this deserved someone more like Paul WS Anderson in the director's chair.

Yeah, this is gonna be great.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

I honestly thought the trailers looked great. I'll probably catch this one.

at least make it a challenge.

 

[GhaleonEB]

This clip is also great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyLRAqMLaqI

Oh. My. God. It's even worse than I had imagined. Yes!

 

[shintoki]

AV Club's review.

That opening image is amazing in of itself, but this paragraph... holy shit:



I'll say it: this deserved someone more like Paul WS Anderson in the director's chair.

Movie looks like a hell of a lot of fun

 

[vinnygambini]

AV Club's review.

That opening image is amazing in of itself, but this paragraph... holy shit:



I'll say it: this deserved someone more like Paul WS Anderson in the director's chair.

YYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSS

This film will be amazing, I'm in.

 

[ElBoxyBrown]

With the right casting, director, and budget this could have been the movie version of Asura's Wrath.

 

[Brakke]

Uh, none of them pass off as white.

Depends on what you mean by "white". Alexander Siddig plays a Fantasy Spainard on Game of Thrones and he played a Greek god in Clash of the Titans. His mom was English; Malcolm McDowell is his uncle. If he was filling out a census in the US he'd check White or else be frustrated that the census doesn't handle mixed people very well or maybe he'd think Arab should have its own category. I guess we could invent a new race classification to break like "Swarthy" off from White? Being Spanish, Arab, Greek, Egyptian, etc? Is that useful at all? Given that Siddig's played three of those roles and is being proposed for the fourth, maybe it is?

Since race doesn't exist it's impossible to be precise here. Everyone basically "knows" what "white" means but as soon as you bounce it off particular cases it becomes a mess real fast.

 

[TAJ]

Holy shit, it's a flat-Earther movie, too? What a fascinating disaster.

 

[duckroll]

I'm officially pumped for this. The only thing which could make this more exciting is if it were actually a good film. Lol.

 

[Arnie7]

Holy shit, it's a flat-Earther movie, too? What a fascinating disaster.

Flat earthers make it to mainstream! It just gets better.

 

[Toxi]

This clip is also great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyLRAqMLaqI

This could be the funniest comedy of the year.

 

[Gray Matter]

Two of my friends really want to watch this movie, they really think it's going to be good. They asked me to go, I am, to be a good friend, but boy I really do not want to watch this movie.

 

[SJRB]

AV Club's review.

That opening image is amazing in of itself, but this paragraph... holy shit:



I'll say it: this deserved someone more like Paul WS Anderson in the director's chair.

I dunno man, this description actually makes me want to go and see it.

 

[SuperEpicMan]

Clash Of The Titans
+ Costumes from Immortals
+ Acting from Jupiter Ascending
+ Gold CGI Everything
+ Deadpool Barbosa
+ Egyptian Mythology
- Egyptians

= Gods of Egypt

 

[Jack Remington]

at least make it a challenge.

I don't get what my support for Donald Trump as Republican Nominee 2016 has to do with this movie.

 

[Majestad]

Fuck I was actually kinda excited. Redbox it is.

 

[dabig2]

If there was a movie to go see while liquored up and/or possibly high as kite, this might be it.

 

[duckroll]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gods_of_egypt/

RT sitting at 11% currently. I couldn't possibly get more excited!!!

 

[Gray Matter]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gods_of_egypt/

RT sitting at 11% currently. I couldn't possibly get more excited!!!

How can I tell my friends that I don't want to watch this shitty movie with them without sounding like an asshole?

 

[Althane]

How can I tell my friends that I don't want to watch this shitty movie with them without sounding like an asshole?

"Meh, not really interested in it. Wanna go see Deadpool or something else?"

 

[vinnygambini]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gods_of_egypt/

RT sitting at 11% currently. I couldn't possibly get more excited!!!

14% now! It's increasing!

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

14% now! It's increasing!

.... wait i thought the less score the better hype for this movie???

HYPE BOOSTERS ENGINE GOOOOOOO

 

[Cowlick]

14% now! It's increasing!

Armond White must have filed his review.

 

[CoolOff]

This clip is also great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyLRAqMLaqI

lmao they talked about this in the What the Flick-review. It's even better than I imagined.

 

[UnemployedVillain]

Clash Of The Titans
+ Costumes from Immortals
+ Acting from Jupiter Ascending
+ Gold CGI Everything
+ Deadpool Barbosa
+ Egyptian Mythology
- Egyptians

= Gods of Egypt

Cut Jupiter Uprising some slack! It had excellent an excellent world and backstoey. It could have been billed as a sci-fi Game of Thrones if they had focused on anything else but Mila Kunis

 

[Spike Spiegel]

I can always tell when reviews are bad when the commercials feature one-word quotes.

 

[EdibleExplosives]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gods_of_egypt/

RT sitting at 11% currently. I couldn't possibly get more excited!!!

Lol at the consensus.

Look on Gods of Egypt, ye filmgoers, and despair! Nothing beside remains. Round the decay of this colossal wreck, boundless and bare. The lone and level sands stretch far away. (Apologies to Shelley.)

 

[vinnygambini]

.... wait i thought the less score the better hype for this movie???

HYPE BOOSTERS ENGINE GOOOOOOO

Lmao

Well Pan has a 26% rottentomatoes score, and I did not enjoy that. I enjoyed Transformers: Age of Extinction for what it is, and that film stands at 18%.

Obviously the conclusion is the lower the film scores, the better amirite?

 

[sarcastor]

Well Pan has a 26% rottentomatoes score, and I did not enjoy that. I enjoyed Transformers: Age of Extinction for what it is, and that film stands at 18%.

Obviously the conclusion is the lower the film scores, the better amirite?

Rotten Tomatoes doesn't really matter cause its just a collection of people's opinions. Superman Returns and Indiana Jones 4 both got 77%, and those were huge stinking pile of turds. Meanwhile, one of the best movies ever made:

 

[Saint Gregory]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gods_of_egypt/

RT sitting at 11% currently. I couldn't possibly get more excited!!!

OMG those comments >_<

But look at the "want to see" percentage, It's truly reached "so bad it must been seen!!!" cult status. This may end up being the sleeper hit of the year... I mean careers will definitely be destroyed but still a hit!

Edit: Yo, the NYT's review is the most positive I've read and still contained this quote

If &#8220;Gods of Egypt&#8221; were any worse, it might be a masterpiece.

How does this happen?

OK, I'm actually mobidly curious to see this now and I have tons of free movie passes. I need an unwilling victim to take with me though >:3

 

[duckroll]

How can you see this and not be HYPED?

 

[vinnygambini]

How can you see this and not be HYPED?

It's the Saint Seiya movie we've all been waiting for.

 

[Error]

They should've done something crazy, like full-on scifi movie with egyptian gods.

A cyberpunk movie with egyptian mythology, something like what Digital Devil Saga (the ps2 games) did with Hindu mythology.

 

[Prototype Viktor]

How can you see this and not be HYPED?

That poster sounds like dubstep

 

[vinnygambini]

CliffyB has seen the film:

https://twitter.com/therealcliffyb/status/703042305985482752

 

[Sulik2]

This clip is also great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyLRAqMLaqI

This made me bust out laughing I now need to set this movie.

 

[yanipheonu]

I've been on record saying that this looks so fucking weird I need to see it day one.

 

[Principate]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gods_of_egypt/

RT sitting at 11% currently. I couldn't possibly get more excited!!!

Actual Egyptians should be relieved that this plague passed over them.

Yooo, yo that is some serious ether

edit bonus

It seems as though a decent chunk of the Gods of Egypt budget went toward Butler's skin bronzer -- money that would have been better spent on the cheap-looking special effects, which appear to be culled from Ghostbusters II.

 

[Korey]

This movie's a weird place to make a stand about whitewashing. Egyptians aren't black any more than they're white. Egyptians aren't even Arab really, certainly not pre-twentieth century Egyptians. The only way to cast a movie about Egypt "properly" is to cast Egyptians. Casting Chadwick Boseman is just as ridiculous as casting Gerard Butler here; a black American is just as relevant to ancient Egypt as a white Scotsman is.

Personally, I can't name a single Egyptian actor, certainly not an English-speaking Egyptian in Hollywood. So our options are to cast total unknowns or to just ignore ethnicity entirely. It'd certainly be cool to see Egyptian actors get some exposure. But any imaginable version of this movie is "washed" in some way.

99% of movies made in Hollywood are written about white characters and for white actors. So it's extremely difficult for non-white actors to become known.

You know the best opportunity to cast people of color? When the movie and characters are actually that race.

Instead, we get shit like this:

...and this:

 

[Unspeakable Evil]

...and this:

The first person I noticed was the Weeknd.....

 

[Bobby Roberts]

The more I see of this movie, the more I am convinced that if Tsui Hark ever made it to Hollywood, this is what he would have been proud to direct.

Does the back to back blast of Van Dammage that was Double Team and Knock-Off not count?