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[Tetra-9]

It was Christmas time and I was walking into a drugstore for some cigarettes. I noticed there's a volunteer from the Salvation Army as I walk in. As I walking along I thought about how I never give anything to charity and decided I would donate the leftover change from my cigs.

As I was walking up to the volunteer, our eyes met and I gave him a confident look of admiration. We exchanged greetings and I put my donation in his....oh shit that was his coffee cup, not the donation bucket!

I apologized profusely and repeatedly, offering to buy him like 5 cups to replace that one, and all this dude could say was "That....was....my....coffee.....cup???". He was clearly stunned and at that point all i could do was walk away holding in my laughter and embarrassment. Should have probably just bought him the coffee anyways but I was a bit stunned at the time too.

 

[espher]

Got nothing that competes with the stuff in this thread, and this is more awkward/stunning than a crazy twist, but w/e.

So I was friends with a guy and girl who were going out when we were all in university. The relationship was kind of meh and the girl (who I had known for a long time and was reasonably close friends with) had been telling me that she wasn't sure she was happy in the relationship and saw it going long term, and had been contemplating breaking up a week later. I gave her my thoughts (I didn't think they were a good fit for each other, I felt she could do better -- not that he was bad but she COULD do better, whatever).

A week later the guy invites me out to lunch w/ the team of them because it had been a while since our group of friends had gotten together (summer months iirc). While we're in the middle of the meal, my friend proposes to her. I'm going back and forth between "oh fuck this isn't going to end well" (because I know about our recent conversations) and "why the fuck would you invite me if you were going to propose" (because it's just awkward as shit). Well, maybe he was hoping she wouldn't be able to say no because it would be embarrassing or something, and maybe that was the case, because she accepted.

Anyway the next few months they're all fantastic super wonder couple until she suddenly dumps his ass. A couple of months after that, she's going out with another mutual friend of all of ours, and they have now been together happily married for several years.

Twist #1: The guy she's married to was the guy that told my friend he should go ahead and propose -- still not sure if he knew it would fail and was making a play or if he legit thought it would be a good idea.
Twist #2: It was the second time that summer I had been a pseudo-third-wheel to a marriage proposal between two of my friends (the other couple was happy and is still together), and the third time in two years (that engagement also fell apart). I have since avoided the "lunch rendezvous with two friends in a relationship" in case this is my shitty superpower.

 

[FStop7]

Yes, but I can't say anything about it because it's still in progress. No idea where it's heading, but it's... crazy.

 

[CielTynave]

My dad's my mom, and I'm my dad. Either of those would've been easy to swallow on their own, but together? Fucked up.

Wat.

 

[Gray Matter]

A few months ago I "confirmed" that the real reason for my parents divorce was infidelity, probably on both sides my mainly my mother.

My mother has always had a lot of male friends. When I was a kid and traveled with my mom I'd see her holding hands, kissing lightly on the lips, sleeping in the same bed with other guys. Not random guys, but guys she has know for decades. I am quite certain that my mother cheated on my father.

To make it better, we now live in the US and my dad back in my home country. Last February my mother married one of the guys that I know she cheated with (who lives abroad) and is planning to bring him to the US.

She has always been a great mother but knowing this has change how I see my mother drastically. I don't have the courage to ask her all of this, but in sure it's something I wouldn't want to know.

 

[OraleeWey]

My dad's my mom, and I'm my dad. Either of those would've been easy to swallow on their own, but together? Fucked up.

I don't understand

 

[davepoobond]

I don't understand

He married someone who happens to be a transsexual woman that is actually his dad, who is now his mom, so he is now his own dad?

 

[Korosenai]

A few months ago I "confirmed" that the real reason for my parents divorce was infidelity, probably on both sides my mainly my mother.

My mother has always had a lot of male friends. When I was a kid and traveled with my mom I'd see her holding hands, kissing lightly on the lips, sleeping in the same bed with other guys. Not random guys, but guys she has know for decades. I am quite certain that my mother cheated on my father.

To make it better, we now live in the US and my dad back in my home country. Last February my mother married one of the guys that I know she cheated with (who lives abroad) and is planning to bring him to the US.

She has always been a great mother but knowing this has change how I see my mother drastically. I don't have the courage to ask her all of this, but in sure it's something I wouldn't want to know.

you saw her kissing and sleeping with other men, im not sure how that doesnt seal the deal for you.

 

[Gray Matter]

you saw her kissing and sleeping with other men, im not sure how that doesnt seal the deal for you.

I never actually saw her having sex with other men. I was very young and just thought that she was just being friendly since these were men she's friends with, some even before she met my father.

 

[Daft_Cat]

He married someone who happens to be a transsexual woman that is actually his dad, who is now his mom, so he is now his own dad?

Spoiler

I just couldn't think of anything to top stuff already posted, so I decided to make an ass of myself instead. I'm sorry.

 

[OraleeWey]

He married someone who happens to be a transsexual woman that is actually his dad, who is now his mom, so he is now his own dad?

Your guess is as good as mine

 

[Daft_Cat]

Your guess is as good as mine

Wait, did you genuinely think that I was claiming to be my own father? As I said in the post above yours, I was dicking around. I get that you didn't find it funny. Relax.

 

[daripad]

This one is not anything good but it changed my life for me.

I'm gay. I spent years trying to accept myself and finally decided it was time to come out to people I trusted, because I needed help as I feel sad most of the time, I have never dated anyone and my father is super homophobic. Months passed until I got enough courage to tell my sister about it. She was very nice about it and though everything would go smooth after it.

A month after that and my sister had a plushie. I thought someone was trying to date her and I asked if the guy that gave her the plushie was hot and if she was in love with him. She said yes. Then I proceed to ask who he was. It resulted that it was not a he, but a she, so my sister confesed that she was a lesbian. It resulted on me not doing anything about my love life and having thoughts about how my father is going to hate us and that we're doomed. So my sadness got even worse after all.

 

[davepoobond]

This one is not anything good but it changed my life for me.

I'm gay. I spent years trying to accept myself and finally decided it was time to come out to people I trusted, because I needed help as I feel sad most of the time, I have never dated anyone and my father is super homophobic. Months passed until I got enough courage to tell my sister about it. She was very nice about it and though everything would go smooth after it.

A month after that and my sister had a plushie. I thought someone was trying to date her and I asked if the guy that gave her the plushie was hot and if she was in love with him. She said yes. Then I proceed to ask who he was. It resulted that it was not a he, but a she, so my sister confesed that she was a lesbian. It resulted on me not doing anything about my love life and having thoughts about how my father is going to hate us and that we're doomed. So my sadness got even worse after all.

i'm seeing a huge disconnect here. what does her being lesbian have anything to do with you?

also, seek therapy or some sort of counseling. you sound more depressed than anything else.

 

[terrisus]

Everything's going along smoothly...
And then...

May 2011: Surprise! You have cancer!
August 2011: Oh yeah, also... Surprise! You have a blood clot!

<a little bit of time passes>
And then...

May 2013: Surprise! You had a stroke!


Seriously, "insane twists" can just sod off.

 

[daripad]

i'm seeing a huge disconnect here. what does her being lesbian have anything to do with you?

also, seek therapy or some sort of counseling. you sound more depressed than anything else.

Because, before I knew, I had a lot of ideas in my head about how I would convince my father that being homosexual wasn't a bad thing and had a lot of images in my MIMD on how life was going to be. Her being lesbian means that everything I had dreamed about would not come true because my father would be mad because he would not have any children from us and he would blame himself about it. I can't stop imagining his reaction, and knowing him, he will say a lot of hurtful stuff to us.

TLDR: he could tolerate one of us, but not both of us.

 

[Nakho]

This one is not anything good but it changed my life for me.

I'm gay. I spent years trying to accept myself and finally decided it was time to come out to people I trusted, because I needed help as I feel sad most of the time, I have never dated anyone and my father is super homophobic. Months passed until I got enough courage to tell my sister about it. She was very nice about it and though everything would go smooth after it.

A month after that and my sister had a plushie. I thought someone was trying to date her and I asked if the guy that gave her the plushie was hot and if she was in love with him. She said yes. Then I proceed to ask who he was. It resulted that it was not a he, but a she, so my sister confesed that she was a lesbian. It resulted on me not doing anything about my love life and having thoughts about how my father is going to hate us and that we're doomed. So my sadness got even worse after all.

Maybe this will be for the better... Are his children just the two of you? Maybe the thought of cuting off not only one, but two, children will be to much for him and he'll reevaluate his ways. Hope it gets better mate, cheers.

EDIT: I think you're overanalyzing this too much, dude. Pretty sure it will always be better that you two are homossexuals for him to accept you guys. Again, good luck and may it go as smoothly as possible.

 

[davepoobond]

Because, before I knew, I had a lot of ideas in my head about how I would convince my father that being homosexual wasn't a bad thing and had a lot of images in my MIMD on how life was going to be. Her being lesbian means that everything I had dreamed about would not come true because my father would be mad because he would not have any children from us and he would blame himself about it. I can't stop imagining his reaction, and knowing him, he will say a lot of hurtful stuff to us.

TLDR: he could tolerate one of us, but not both of us.

Did she already tell him or something?

I think you need to stop worrying so much about what your dad thinks. It seems like you are saying what he thinks is more important than your own sanity/sexuality

Already sounds like you are self-hating and over analyzing all of this while wishfully thinking that "only one being gay would be fine but not two"

 

[Lord Thrappleper The 49th]

Hmm... lemme search the old noggin...

Back when I was a wee younger, like tween years I think, mum got a new boyfriend she met through a friend down at the pub. He was pretty cool, let me play playstation when he came round, got some waterpistols, even showed me some karate moves. Mum was pretty happy, he was tall, physically fit, proper dreamy guy I guess. OK magazine definition of male beauty, take that for what you will.
So anyways he sticks around for like 6 months or so, and during this time very rarely he would ask me questions about my mums friend who introduced them. I didn't know much about that guy, aside from he went to the pub a lot and always had gave money to my mum whenever she needed it (single mother of 4 working as a nurse is financially not good) and he never seemed satisfied with my answers, I always asked him questions but he never answered one. I just thought that maybe he was paranoid that my mother was seeing this guy.
So there's my mother, her boyfriend, and their friend. Seemed like a setting for a bad romance. If only it was.

I come home from school one day to find lots of police cars outside my house, I go inside and mind my mum being questions over the mutual friend. Turns out he was a alleged IRA affiliate gone rogue with alleged connections to the Hammersmith bridge bombing in 2000, mums boyfriend was an MI5 spy who had a false name and identity and to this day never knew who he was, and mum had been the personal concubine of alleged terrorist who paid her all the money she needed. She knew nothing about his actions, and the alleged terrorist caught wind of said spy and ran. Never knew if he was caught or not.

Mum got off, and we never heard from them again. I say alleged a lot because I was young and don't remember most of what happened, and mum refuses to talk about it. So I don't know if he was a real terrorist or not, but this is the drip story I was told when I was old enough to understand.

 

[RoKKeR]

I was 13, doing so much sports. Doctor came in : you got genetical heart disease. Stop it all. But don't worry, you'll leave an happy steady life for 70 or 80 more years. that was the first twist

Then, be me, 20, heart hurting more and more, see the doctor, tons of exams : your heart getting shit. Need to open you and do stuff with your heart. Don't worry, you're young, you'll be fine. Twist ? Got complication right a minute out of the surgery room. Died for 4 minutes in recovery. 17 shocks to bring me back.

Life's a bitch.

I'm late to this thread but holy fucking shit.

Mouth is still open.

The only "twist" or big thing that has happened in first 20 years is getting into the school I'm currently attending... pretty lame.

 

[Bulbo Urethral Baggins]

That time when my wife and girlfriend coincidentally met each other for the first time in our hot tub was pretty amazing.

 

[BWJinxing]

My dad worked for a prison when i was in elementary school, some inmate complained of abuse from officers in general. Investigations open on many officers, dad stands trial for many numerous charges, found not guilty of all BUT conspiracy, despite no evidence and extremely vague answers from the judge as to why. Sent away for years with no parole and effectively closed the case against everyone else.

Now you're a young adult. Imagine your life long, good friend you grew up with,who is a quality friend, an intellectual type who was rebel but sensible, converts to Islam. Some years later, he gets time for terrorist charges. This time with evidence to support the charges, blatant evidence hidden from you, but breadcrumbs to follow had you investigated. (apologies about being mysterious sounding)

 

[Nakho]

Hmm... lemme search the old noggin...

Back when I was a wee younger, like tween years I think, mum got a new boyfriend she met through a friend down at the pub. He was pretty cool, let me play playstation when he came round, got some waterpistols, even showed me some karate moves. Mum was pretty happy, he was tall, physically fit, proper dreamy guy I guess. OK magazine definition of male beauty, take that for what you will.
So anyways he sticks around for like 6 months or so, and during this time very rarely he would ask me questions about my mums friend who introduced them. I didn't know much about that guy, aside from he went to the pub a lot and always had gave money to my mum whenever she needed it (single mother of 4 working as a nurse is financially not good) and he never seemed satisfied with my answers, I always asked him questions but he never answered one. I just thought that maybe he was paranoid that my mother was seeing this guy.
So there's my mother, her boyfriend, and their friend. Seemed like a setting for a bad romance. If only it was.

I come home from school one day to find lots of police cars outside my house, I go inside and mind my mum being questions over the mutual friend. Turns out he was a alleged IRA affiliate gone rogue with alleged connections to the Hammersmith bridge bombing in 2000, mums boyfriend was an MI5 spy who had a false name and identity and to this day never knew who he was, and mum had been the personal concubine of alleged terrorist who paid her all the money she needed. She knew nothing about his actions, and the alleged terrorist caught wind of said spy and ran. Never knew if he was caught or not.

Mum got off, and we never heard from them again. I say alleged a lot because I was young and don't remember most of what happened, and mum refuses to talk about it. So I don't know if he was a real terrorist or not, but this is the drip story I was told when I was old enough to understand.

Holy shit. I... may have to steal your story for an indie movie. Thanks.

 

[Lord Thrappleper The 49th]

Holy shit. I... may have to steal your story for an indie movie. Thanks.

Only if I can steal your indie movie for a story to tell on GAF.

 

[FlyinJ]

Mine is so tame compared to these other ones but damnit it's the only one I got!

When I was 8 or 7 I remember being in my room playing some star fox on the snes when my folks asked me if wanted ice cream. I was stoked to go out for ice cream so I got my jacket and we left. In the car we pass the ice cream place and I ask why? Folks just say hold tight we are going to a different one. A little while later we roll up to the colesium for Monster Truck night! Man my little head almost exploded from excitement

It's the only twist in my life I can remember and it's super lame but I don't care it's the only I got.

Hah! That is awesome!

 

[terrisus]

Holy shit. I... may have to steal your story for an indie movie. Thanks.

Only if I can steal your indie movie for a story to tell on GAF.

Only if I can steal the revenue.

Why?
Because reasons.

 

[CreepingFear]

Earlier this year, I found out that my grandma had been brain washed by my aunt into thinking my mother was trying to steal her money and house. The twist is, that my grandma continued to see me and my mother for the 2 years, allowing us to bring her food, clean things around the house, do other things to help her around the house, acting as if nothing was wrong. This same aunt, years earlier, had tried to brainwash me into saying my uncle was a child molester. My aunt is actually the one who steals. My mother bailed her out of jail twice. When my mother found out of my aunt's plot to alienate my grandmother against my mother and uncle, she also found out that my grandmother had given my aunt power of attorney sometime after my grandfather had passed, which was the whole time we would go to her house 3/4 times a week to help her. My mother went to her attorney to see her options, and the other twist was that aunt had gone to my mother's attorney first with her lies to get him to draw up the power of attorney. So my mother, could no longer use the attorney for conflict of interest. It ended with my mother and my uncle probably never seeing my grandmother ever again with my grandmother thinking my aunt and uncle are thieves and child molesters when my aunt is the real evil one, driven by money and possessions. I swear on my life that this is true and there is not another side to this story.

 

[hughesta]

Right before I turned 18, I found out the man who'd been raising me wasn't my genetic father, and that my stepdad was.

My "dad" found out at the sane time too, lol

 

[Aselith]

That time when my wife and girlfriend coincidentally met each other for the first time in our hot tub was pretty amazing.

 

[davepoobond]

Right before I turned 18, I found out the man who'd been raising me wasn't my genetic father, and that my stepdad was.

My "dad" found out at the sane time too, lol

must be a strange role-reversal there.

 

[Tom_Cody]

I know and hate someone on the internet.

This person lives half a world away, in a country I've never been to. He/she has gotten in several tussles online with me about the slimey shit he/she does.

Then, holy shit, I find myself at the same social event...seated by hosts at the same dinner table. Only 4 people, and we were two of them. I used an nickname, so I don't think he/she realized who I was, but I knew who I was there with. It was super fricking weird.

Never ever thought our paths would cross -- why would they? But the universe made it happen. The 6,000 miles between us were gone, and my greatest enemy was right there, laughing and eating dinner at a party while I laughed and joked right back.

I would love to hear more about this.

 

[Tom_Cody]

It's not that interesting but here I go.

I was dumped by the girl of my dreams after we dated for seven years, it destroyed me, I pretty much stopped going to College and stayed home and cried for around a year, I blamed myself for everything and had suicidal thoughts all the time.

I hated my life and didn't do anything for several more months, but one day I met the guy that she left me for, he dated her for around a year and a half and then broke up, he told me why they broke up and it was exactly the same situation I was in, it was almost creepy, to the point that if I had told him my story it would have been the same.

The dude basically saved my life because I was soooo going to kill myself, I didn't blame myself anymore, it was clearly her fault and now I'm best friend's with this guy.

As a little side story, she faked her own death at some point and told everyone we knew to tell me she had died if I asked, I'll never forget how much I suffered that day.

Do tell.

 

[9BR]

One of my uncles from my mother's side is the sweetest. He always took us seriously whenever we talked ever since we were kids, and would take the time to sit down and have intellectual conversations with us (something my other uncles don't really do, to this day. They're still kind though!). Not to mention that he spoiled the crap out of us, buying us toys, bicycles, whatever. It almost seemed like he was brought up differently.
As I got older I realized that he kinda doesn't look like my other uncles much except for his skin color. Only after my grandma passed away 2 years ago I found out that he's my mom's half brother.


In a similar vein, I found out that almost all of my uncles/aunties from my father's side are also his half-siblings. The difference in looks was VERY apparent, but I just never questioned it (they obviously got the better end of the gene pool haha). Dad only has 1 full sibling. Again, I found this out like 2 years ago.

Biggest twist yet I guess.

 

[Halcyon]

Why?

She was "diagnosed" after we broke up the first time. She used it to get me to feel bad for her and start talking to her again.

After I divorced her for having an affair a few years later, I was talking to her mom and said "I can't believe she did this to me, I stuck by her through her cancer stuff" and her mom was like "what cancer".

I then looked into her medical records. It was all a lie.

 

[Tom_Cody]

She was "diagnosed" after we broke up the first time. She used it to get me to feel bad for her and start talking to her again.

After I divorced her for having an affair a few years later, I was talking to her mom and said "I can't believe she did this to me, I stuck by her through her cancer stuff" and her mom was like "what cancer".

I then looked into her medical records. It was all a lie.

There are some sad fucked up people out there. Christ.

 

[Finn of Ooo]

When I was younger my father took me to a cemetery. He was there to visit the grave of a daughter that had been still born. I learned that day that my father had been married to another woman before meeting my mother and that the trauma of losing their child was what caused them to get divorced.

I only realized this years later but if that girl had been born, I probably would not have.

 

[Doc Holliday]

When I was 13 living in the Bronx my dad was mugged at gunpoint. The assholes stole his wallet but some reason left behind his bag in which he carried his shortwave car radio, this was before the Internet and iPhones. After he came home and told us about the whole thing we heard 2 gunshots right outside the door. Our next door neighbor was shot twice in the head, he miraculously lived.

What we later found out was that our neighbor was dressed just like my dad and was carrying a shoulder bag just like my dad's. We always believed that the guys who robbed my dad followed him to finish the job because he caught a look at one of them as they were leaving.....scary shit

 

[foxuzamaki]

She was "diagnosed" after we broke up the first time. She used it to get me to feel bad for her and start talking to her again.

After I divorced her for having an affair a few years later, I was talking to her mom and said "I can't believe she did this to me, I stuck by her through her cancer stuff" and her mom was like "what cancer".

I then looked into her medical records. It was all a lie.

wow...

 

[Reizo Ryuu]

Nothing major compared to some of the stories in this (amazing) thread, but here's mine:

Started hanging out with this girl a couple years ago, at the time she still had a boyfriend so we became "friends" (my intentions were pretty clear), and as time went on we actually started getting closer and closer and had so much shit in common that I could literally talk to her about anything.

Now the next bit is a bit of additional info for the "twist".

One day she told me that if she didn't have a boyfriend, that things would basically be very different between us.
More time passes and she breaks up with her boyfriend over something I don't even remember anymore. All this time we had been hanging out casually mind you, so I just ask her if she wants to hang out in a few days and she very eagerly says that she wants to.
Fast forward a few days and she says she can't make it and that it's not "my fault", cause I'm "great".
Turns out the ex came over for the weekend and they got back together.

In all this time there was another guy who was interested in her, but he was being kinda pushy about it, and she was constantly telling me how annoying he is and how unwelcome his advances were. At a certain point she even made it very clear to him (by literally yelling it to his face) that she doesn't like him, never will like him and nothing will ever happen between them.
Fast forward a couple of months and she breaks up with her boyfriend again (this time for good), and I'm pretty convinced that this is going to happen between us now, so I give her a tiny bit of breathing room cause I don't really have any competition anyway (...right?).
2 more weeks pass and I suddenly see a bunch of cryptic messages on her FB about "taking a leap of faith" bs....turns out she's going on a date.

The twist?
The guy she went on a date with was the guy she told me she disliked, and that apparantly they always had "a connection"...this just blew my mind cause I couldn't fathom someone could be that dishonest with someone you're close with.
I tried keeping in touch after that, because...well...feelings and shit, but she slowly pretty much completely banned me out of her life and I still have no idea how, why or what went wrong.

 

[Dereck]

Got on the train. Fell asleep. Woke up and the train did an entire loop. Back where I started.

Classic