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[dreamcastmaster]

Serious question: how many threads are you going to make about this guy before you actually listen to GAF advice and cut ties with him? I've seen these threads from you about this guy for multiple years at this point, always inexcusable behavior, always the same advice.

This isn't a new thing?!

 

[How About No]

I have. And yes, it's the same guy.

Oh shit, this guy???

bail bail bail like 200 years ago

Also you've made a lot of threads lol

 

[Common Knowledge]

The way so many people mistake the advice of "don't be a pushover/doormat/have confidence in yourself" for meaning "you need to be a fucking prick to people" is so tragic.

You can be a nice, respectful person who is well liked by the vast majority of people in your life while still standing up for yourself and being assertive when situations call for it.

 

[Zertez]

Being nice is a good thing as long as you aren't being a pushover and making yourself miserable for others. Most don't like hanging out with aholes and the ones that do are usually not ppl I want to hang out with. There is too nice especially when it is fake, but I would rather be around someone that is too nice then someone who is a dick most the time.

 

[Random Human]

Serious question: how many threads are you going to make about this guy before you actually listen to GAF advice and cut ties with him? I've seen these threads from you about this guy for multiple years at this point, always inexcusable behavior, always the same advice.

Jeez, this is a recurring thing?

 

[kiunchbb]

Being nice have nothing to do with moral or religion, it is a way to make life easier. When you do something nice to other, and some asshole is taking advantage of it, cut them off and network with someone else. Surround yourself with people that have the same belief, and life will get a lot easier.

Just think of the time you need someone to recommend you a honest plumber or need help moving a refrigerator. You always need nice people in your life, so go out, be nice, and start meeting other nice people.

Don't listen to GAF about "cutting your friend" out of yourself, as long as he is nice to you, and you enjoy hanging out with him, it doesn't matter whether he is asshole to others. Remember, be nice to yourself first.

 

[Jims]

There isn't anything wrong (from a moral perspective) with being assertive and being straight with people. It sounds like he was being, uh, less than pleasant in a lot of those situations. Some people respond to a kick in the pants, sometimes it is effective. But at the same time, if he is as generally toxic as you describe, that ride will end once people get sick of his bullshit. It's usually not sustainable unless you're also ridiculously charming, and even then.

He sounds young. Young people sometimes fall into the "nice equals weak" trap. Or he's just one of those hardcore alpha types. He will eventually run into a Nice Person who will quietly turn the tables on him.

 

[Megalosaro]

Being nice have nothing to do with moral or religion, it is a way to make life easier. When you do something nice to other, and some asshole is taking advantage of it, cut them off and network with someone else. Surround yourself with people that have the same belief, and life will get a lot easier.

Just think of the time you need someone to recommend you a honest plumber or need help moving a refrigerator. You always need nice people in your life, so go out, be nice, and start meeting other nice people.

Don't listen to GAF about "cutting your friend" out of yourself, as long as he is nice to you, and you enjoy hanging out with him, it doesn't matter whether he is asshole to others. Remember, be nice to yourself first.

No I absolutely need to cut him out of my life. He's a terrible person.

 

[kamineko]

I realize it's easier for me to say, but still: consider ways to remove this person from your life

As for your question. It's entirely possible to be decent, yet firm when you need to be. Seriously, whynotboth.gif

 

[teh_pwn]

Jeez, this is a recurring thing?

Hm, I wonder if there is something repressed between the OP and his friend. Normal platonic relationships are pretty simple.

 

[Expansion Pack]

The reason I make this thread? My other roommates is basically dieing from asthma, essentially. I've been trying to tell him for months to get health insurance. he didn't do so. Asshole told him he was going to kick him out of the apartment if he didn't get insurance. The next day asthma kid has insurance. I'm sick and tired of Asshole getting what he wants while treating everyone like shit. Is it bad that I want someone to knock him down a peg or two?

Wow, what a fucking joke. Dude just saved a man's life by being assertive and your immediate reaction is to want to see him suffer? You sound petty as fuck. It doesn't even sound like he did anything wrong beforehand either. Ranting about a boss is bad? Demanding a big wage increase is wrong? What part of any of this makes him an asshole? Then he motivates you into getting a better job and you can't stand that either? Dude sounds like an amazing person.

EDIT:

Yes.

Never mind, I take it back. Dude's an ass.

 

[Lord Error]

Richard, since when do you live with Russ?

Seriously though - he makes 100K more than you? Correct me if I'm wrong but that sounds like you both have fairly lucrative careers - so why exactly do you live with him?
It doesn't have to be that he's flat out an evil person, I really picture him like Russ from SV. He's got a way of getting things done, and I really doubt he'd actually kick out the asthma roommate out. He just made him reconsider the seriousness of the situation which it sounds like he needed.

 

[erragal]

Serious question: how many threads are you going to make about this guy before you actually listen to GAF advice and cut ties with him? I've seen these threads from you about this guy for multiple years at this point, always inexcusable behavior, always the same advice.

Contrast makes us look better.

 

[xxracerxx]

Oh my god, is this the guy that has his mother sleeping on the couch in the same space as you and also threatened to break your possessions with a baseball bat?

 

[blame space]

literally everything is a bad thing.

 

[FUME5]

Everyone is owed basic respect and decency until they show that they don't deserve it.

Then you tell them to get fucked, cunt.

 

[Megalosaro]

Oh my god, is this the guy that has his mother sleeping on the couch in the same space as you and also threatened to break your possessions with a baseball bat?

Yes.

 

[Fixed2BeBroken]

well.....if we look at Ray Kroc and the Mcdonald's brothers.....yea...

 

[AnAnole]

Sounds like an asshole but he did do the right thing with your whiny asthma friend

 

[Alligatorjandro]

A nice animal doesn't last long in the wild

 

[Kas]

You need to be nice, but firm.

I'm a bit too firm at times, but you have to be, I guess.

 

[danm999]

A nice animal doesn't last long in the wild

Not strictly true.

 

[xxracerxx]

Yes.

Jesus Christ dude...

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Oh my god, is this the guy that has his mother sleeping on the couch in the same space as you and also threatened to break your possessions with a baseball bat?

Popcorn.gif

 

[Abstrusity]

You ask the wrong questions.

Being nice is the wrong thing.

The world is full of people, good people, bad people, nice people, not-so-nice others.

It is not a coincidence that the cutthroat sociopath-like people end up on top. Your moral high ground is their advantage. They'll stab you in the back at the most convenient opportunity.

To get ahead, you can rely on the kindness of others, with some luck...or you can abuse the kindness of others.

In a just world, they wouldn't exist. We'd all share and be happy. There would be no war because there's nothing to be gained from war. Businesses wouldn't be anti-consumer despite relying on them because there's nothing to be gained from it.

But there's always something to gain, and always someone bad enough to abuse the hell out of everyone to get their way.

In the end, it depends on how you look at things. I'm of the opinion that a disreputable, dishonest asshat can always be depended on to be a disreputable, dishonest asshat. ...And that we should base our rules, laws, and economics around minimizing the worst they'd aspire to, while maximizing the gain from everything else they get up to.

 

[shandy706]

He rationalizes it by saying she's "of lower value" because she's "so ugly [he] can't even stand to look at her" and older than me by a few years.

What a piece of trash.

Guy sounds like an immature brat.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

I feel like this guy's gonna end up killing someone or some shit.

 

[kiunchbb]

No I absolutely need to cut him out of my life. He's a terrible person.

I just read your edit, that whole thing is really fuck up.

 

[Biske]

Depends what you mean by nice.


If you mean doing what others want despite not wanting it yourself and secretly hating it but acting like you don't? Bad thing.

Treating everyone with kindness and courtesy? good thing.

 

[RageWaffles]

A nice animal doesn't last long in the wild

A social animal that's an asshole to members of its own group won't last long either

 

[KillLaCam]

You can be super nice without being a pushover

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

I actually agree on his approach to asthma kid. Sorry, but health problems MUST be addressed, no exceptions, and letting that linger is doing nobody a favor. It sounds (and is) unreasonable to make that threat, but you are not responsible for someone not wanting to save themselves from a preventable fate. Same reason you don't hang out with substance abusers who keep saying they will chance, but don't. At some point, you have to make the call. Or get other people involved that aren't locked in the same predictable routines.

That part is reasonable, if harsh.
The other parts however, are where he becomes just an asshole. The 'use' of women speaks volumes to that. Also actually 'hating' you for being nice instead of calling you mildly naive in your approach. There's such a thing as being firm but gentle too.

As for the would-be naturalists already showing up here: "good guys finish first".

edit: reading some additional stuff: yeah that guy is either a real sociopath or inches away from it. Saying "cut ties" doesn't quite cut it. More like "move, salt earth, cut ties, remove social media presence".
There's a website dedicated to recovering from (actual) psychopaths / sociopaths. Give that a read and see how much you recognize. If you do, read the rest of it.

 

[PSYGN]

It's not a bad thing unless you let people take advantage of it.

 

[Astral Dog]

Well he is right in this case if you continue to be NICE with him then you are dumb, sorry but its the truth

Hd is playing you, probably making you depressed

 

[xxracerxx]

You have been saying you need to get away from this guy for years now, are you at least actually taking steps to get out of there? Like why don't you and the other roommate start to look for places, possibly with a third?

 

[LinkSlayer64]

The twist is that OP is actually the asshole, he's using the forum as a way to brag about his accomplishments by posing as one of his roommates with "problems." In reality, he's seeking ways to trick women into liking him by polling the minds of nicer people.

 

[Syder]

This is an ideological battle I've been having with my former friend for some time.

He hates "nice" people. He views it as a weakness.

You could've stopped writing here.

This is like a sterotypical attitude for a complete edgelord to have.

You say he's your 'former friend', sounds like it should stay that way.

 

[avrophantasm]

Do no harm but take no shit.

Reserve your kindness and compassion for those who would sincerely appreciate it and those who would treat you kindly in return. Your health and happiness is paramount; insecure douchebags like your ex-pal and the toxic environment they create deserve none of your time.

 

[dopplr]

Oh shit, this guy???

bail bail bail like 200 years ago

Also you've made a lot of threads lol

My man, from that thread alone, this guy has some issues he has to work out.

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

For what it's worth, he's been treating me like utter shit for the last two months because he wants me to get a better job.

The shitty thing is: It's actually motivated me to job hunt. I fucking hate that too.

I'm guessing this is how your breakfast goes every day:

PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMFwFgG9NE8

 

[blame space]

being a good person in our society involves being a bad person when it comes to what we were taught. BULLSHIT, right?

 

[thetrin]

Being kind isn't a weakness, though being nice expecting a reward for being so isn't really being kind at all.

If you're kind because you believe it's the right way to be, there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[FUME5]

being a good person in our society involves being a bad person when it comes to what we were taught. BULLSHIT, right?

What the hell are you on about now?

 

[blame space]

I'm just saying society incentivises being a bad person.

 

[blame space]

that didn't make a lot of sense the first time, but I guess that's just how my brain works.

 

[djplaeskool]

 

[Vicetrailia]

If there were no nice people, this world wouldn't be worth living in. Everyone would be miserable and no one would have anything wonderful. There would be no ease of mind or loyalty and I say this as not a nice person.

 

[QuantumSquid]

Being nice is a good thing as long as you act out of the kindness of your heart without an ulterior motive.

 

[Hours Left]

Kindness and empathy are paramount traits in anyone worth having in your life. I cannot stress that enough.

Being kind is not the same thing as being a doormat. You must extend the same kindness to yourself that would show others.

 

[blame space]

what is the same thing as being a doormat