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[Monocle]

Karma is a real thing. Life isn't all about got mine, fuck you. Treat people well and with respect or it will bite you in the ass one day.

Not in the literal sense it isn't. The world doesn't have a built-in sense of justice. It's up to us to create a fair and equal society. We can start by treating each other well in our daily lives, and giving back through our work or hobbies, and voting for people who will advance our values.

Jerks like the OP's friend are the ultimate losers because they pass up the opportunity to be part of a worthy project that's bigger than themselves, all for the sake of hollow superficial self-glorification. They might benefit in the short term but ultimately they'll either alienate everyone around them or gain the admiration of coarse nasty low-grade people.

You can't live fully if you're a giant chodemaster to everyone who's not a self-obsessed alpha.

 

[BigDes]

Not in the literal sense it isn't. The world doesn't have a built-in sense of justice. It's up to us to create a fair and equal society. We can start by treating each other well in our daily lives, and giving back through our work or hobbies, and voting for people who will advance our values.

Jerks like the OP's friend are the ultimate losers because they pass up the opportunity to be part of a worthy project that's bigger than themselves, all for the sake of hollow superficial self-glorification. They might benefit in the short term but ultimately they'll either alienate everyone around them or gain the admiration of coarse nasty low-grade people.

I don't know about that, yesterday I flipped off a puppy

This morning I stubbed my toe coming out of the shower

Really makes you think.

 

[Monocle]

I don't know about that, yesterday I flipped off a puppy

This morning I stubbed my toe coming out of the shower

Really makes you think.

You got me there. Don't screw with doggos.

 

[Captain Smoker]

You should always be nice as long as someone doesn't abuse your kindness and you let him do so because you are "so nice".

And you shouldn't be just nice for the sole purpose of manipulating others to get something or achieve something.


"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert A. Glover describes what kind of "nice" isn't good.

 

[Cipherr]

Do yourself a favor and keep being you; whatever the asshole has you considering is a bad thing, trust me.


When life ticks in the other direction for this gentlemen its going to be a fucking tsunami. I have seen it happen. And he will completely lack the social skills to deal with the tidal wave, nor the relationships with enough people to acquire the help needed to stack the fucking sand bags high enough to prevent total loss.

Life is going to hit him HARD one day. VERY hard. If he is lucky, you will still be around, and not resent him completely when he needs help the most.

 

[OmegaTreeFish]

As already said, the dudes a piece of shit and it sounds like there is something actually wrong with him.

I live by a pretty simple philosophy. Treat others as you want to be treated. You have to also apply this to others as well. If they treat you like shit then thats what they deserve. However I don't mean be a petty twat and respond in kind. I mean cut them out and let them only deal with people like them selves.

People like him can certainly go far in life when it comes to money and climbing the corporate ladder. However it will often come at the cost of relationships and happiness. You gotta do whats right for you. Sounds like getting rid of this guy (which I know you are working on) and only socilising with decent people is what you need to do.

At the end of the day he will be rich and misserable by the sound of it. He will be angry and everyone around him and if he ever gets in real trouble there will be no one there to help him.

When I do something nice I dont ever do it expecting something in return. I do it because i think it would be nice if someone did that for me if I was in that situation. Once one of my neighbours TV broke. One of there kids broke it by accident. They didn't have ton of money. I had an old TV in the loft that was decent enough but wasnt in use. I gave it to them free of charge. The then posted £40 through my door. They clearly appreciated it and wanted to pay something for it so I gave £20 back and kept £20 for my self. They were decent people. Someone like you friend would have taken the TV then asked if there was anything else I could give them lol.

Be nice, but be strong. Don't let people take advantage of you.

 

[ShemhazaiX]

Whenever he takes the piss out of your for being nice just respond with "ha, you can be such an edge Lord sometimes". When he inevitably rises to that and starts yelling about not being an edge Lord, laugh at him and say "dude, stop being so thin skinned" then when he says he's not thin skinned say "why did you get angry then?". When he starts stammering trying to think of a come back, just say "look dude, you're obviously stressed out or something. Go take a bath, relax or something dude. Anyway I'm heading out soon to smash my girlfriends lady parts and I'm never coming back you malignant tumour of an excuse for a human being. No one likes you and no one will be at your funeral".
8/10 times it works everytime.

 

[Neverforget]

Being nice is good, being too nice until people start taking advantage of you is not good.

Basically be a decent human being and don't do to anyone what you don't want people to do to you.

 

[johancruijff]

I do, and he hates it. He can't stand that I make almost 100k less than him, yet have a girlfriend.

He rationalizes it by saying she's "of lower value" because she's "so ugly [he] can't even stand to look at her" and older than me by a few years.

True story.

wait he told to your face that your gf is ugly?

see i'm dumb and all, but i would have bashed his skull

 

[Mediking]

As a very nice person... I've noticed that some people will appreciate you like crazy.

Others will think you are weak.

Others will think you're fake.

You just can't win. Lol

 

[krang]

Yes, you cunt.

Spoiler

Nah, not necessarily. It helps to have a bit of edge, though.

 

[Nohar]

Your former friend is a narcissist, egocentric man. His behavior is toxic, you need to cut him out of your life (but you already know that).

Now, regarding the "nice" vs "not nice" debate: as you have noticed, sometimes society rewards more aggressiveness and bluntness than niceness. As much as I hate to recognize it, in some cases you have to put your foot down and be blunt with some people to acquire results. Now, there are multiple ways to do so, many which do not include being aggressive or rude, but it is all about psychology and strategy: you may be talking to the nicest guy/gal in the world and want to help her, but being nice doesn't do jack shit (they may be stuck in their comfort zone, and used to complain but not doing anything to actually change their situation). Sometimes, if you want to sprout a change in their psyche, you have to try something else, and sometimes the stick works better than the carrot (in your case, it led you to look for jobs).

Really, it all depends on the context. Being nice is fine, being a pushover is not.

 

[hotcyder]

shot in the dark - but is atlas shrugged his favourite book?

 

[Tyraniboah]

Your friend is the one with problems. However, don't get pushed around. There are tactful was to be kind while still asserting yourself when the time comes.

 

[miller.skippins]

It's so good to be bad though.

 

[OmegaTreeFish]

It also seems sometimes people confuse being nice with being submissive.

Doing anything anyone tells you isn't being nice. Being nice or a decent human being is more often a proactive thing where you go out of your way to lend a hand. If all you do is help / work / lend money when ever someone asks you thats a different thing.

 

[excowboy]

All of his friends think he is the most toxic asshole on the planet.

End thread?

 

[MilkyJoe]

Being nice is the best thing you can possibly be.

 

[Wvrs]

I'm nice and good to those who are good me, but I don't mind confrontation and put myself first.

 

[SPCTRE]

All of his friends think he is the most toxic asshole on the planet. They still hang out with him though.

So you answered your own question. That last part is their fault.

 

[weekev]

Not in the literal sense it isn't. The world doesn't have a built-in sense of justice. It's up to us to create a fair and equal society. We can start by treating each other well in our daily lives, and giving back through our work or hobbies, and voting for people who will advance our values.

Jerks like the OP's friend are the ultimate losers because they pass up the opportunity to be part of a worthy project that's bigger than themselves, all for the sake of hollow superficial self-glorification. They might benefit in the short term but ultimately they'll either alienate everyone around them or gain the admiration of coarse nasty low-grade people.

You can't live fully if you're a giant chodemaster to everyone who's not a self-obsessed alpha.

True story. I'm a nice guy. I have a decent job that pays reasonably well (£35k per year) I have a beautiful wife, 2 beautiful kids and I'm happy as fuck. Could I be an ass and command a higher salary? Absolutely. Do I want to? Fuck no! I enjoy my life, my job, my family and the moment something comes along to jeapordise my mood, be it work or whatever I will do my best to cut it from my life.

Nice guys might finish last but they finish last with a massive grin on their faces as opposed to the assholes who constantly moan.

 

[johancruijff]

people who believes in Karma...smh

 

[OmegaTreeFish]

True story. I'm a nice guy. I have a decent job that pays reasonably well (£35k per year) I have a beautiful wife, 2 beautiful kids and I'm happy as fuck. Could I be an ass and command a higher salary? Absolutely. Do I want to? Fuck no! I enjoy my life, my job, my family and the moment something comes along to jeapordise my mood, be it work or whatever I will do my best to cut it from my life.

Nice guys might finish last but they finish last with a massive grin on their faces as opposed to the assholes who constantly moan.

change that to 1 kid rather than 2 and I could have wrote that.

High Five

Oh wait were british

*raises tea cup*
"cheers my good man"

 

[Sulik2]

Your friend is having success because he is being assertive, not because he is being a jerk. He is saying what needs to be said and what he wants and that is getting him results. And occasionally people need tough love. Like the asthma situation. Be assertive without being a jerk and you can have friends and success. Take the lesson of being assertive from your friend, just do it without being a giant douchebag like he is.

 

[OmegaTreeFish]

What your friend is really doing is being assertive. It's not about being nice or a jerk, it's about being assertive and saying what needs to be said or what you want that is getting him results. And occasionally people need tough love. Like the asthna situation. Be assertive without being a jerk and you can have friends and success.

You need to read the rest of the thread to see this guy is actually a complete shit stain of a human.

 

[Bold One]

I do, and he hates it. He can't stand that I make almost 100k less than him, yet have a girlfriend.

He rationalizes it by saying she's "of lower value" because she's "so ugly [he] can't even stand to look at her" and older than me by a few years.

True story.

How are you "friends" with such a massive cunt?

 

[SugarDave]

Being nice is a character strength worth cultivating. Maybe it isn't always the most effective way of getting what you want, but I can compromise if it means being a decent human being. Your friend sounds like one of those plebs who is always rabbiting on about alphas and betas, such a person can be taken advantage of just as easily as someone who is overly generous or kind.

 

[black_13]

Honestly I think the best balance is be 50% asshole and 50% nice. The hard part is choosing which to be at what time.

I mean yea your friend sounds like an asshole but he did get your friend to get insurance and pushing you to get a better job as well. It's like being a manager. If you are too nice the employees take advantage of you but if you are too hard on them then it can negatively affect performance. Now this person may not be the best friend to have but a worthy one if that makes any sense.

 

[Go_Ly_Dow]

Of course being nice it important, but so is being genuine. People don't always give back so it's important not to give too much to everyone all the time. Don't be a doormat, but don't let that line of think stop you from extending a helping hand to someone close to you or in need.

Basically, be self-aware of yourself and others and learn in what situations you can give more without feeling resentment when you don't get the same back from someone. Be a good person to yourself first and then you can genuinely be a good person to others.

Edit: also, your friend isn't necessarily being the opposite of nice, he's being assertive, arrogant and confident in those situation. Those traits you can hone, but can lead you quickly down to the path of being a dick, so be self aware.

 

[Zousi]

Be nice to nice and bad to bad is the way i roll. This deep philosophy works like a charm.

 

[entremet]

Being kind is good. But also have a backbone.

 

[Vincent Grayson]

Alright, that stance I can understand. The fuck you, got mine attitude does make life easier.

Only assuming you're willing to surround yourself with other people like that (who will then fuck you over when necessary), because the rest of us don't want anything to do with that kind of attitude.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

The point is a different one.

Be nice, because you just don't give a fuck.

Never ever be nice, because you expect other people (especially women) to be nice to you as well.

 

[jsnepo]

Your friend is insecure, which absolutely is a weakness. He apparently is taking it out on people that have their shit together.

This sums it up.

 

[golduck342]

You should read this book, it'll explain everything about why your way fails with the roomate and why what he does works. If you don't feel like reading, he's got interviews on youtube

 

[carlsojo]

Being "nice" is fine. Don't be a fucking doormat.

 

[Violet_0]

aside from him being a dick, it seems that he has ulterior motives as well?

The reason I make this thread? My other roommates is basically dieing from asthma, essentially. I've been trying to tell him for months to get health insurance. he didn't do so. Asshole told him he was going to kick him out of the apartment if he didn't get insurance. The next day asthma kid has insurance. I'm sick and tired of Asshole getting what he wants while treating everyone like shit. Is it bad that I want someone to knock him down a peg or two?

For what it's worth, he's been treating me like utter shit for the last two months because he wants me to get a better job.

The shitty thing is: It's actually motivated me to job hunt. I fucking hate that too.

at least it looks like he's getting results

e: okay, reading that post about what he says about you girlfriend, fuck him. But there's still a few things you can learn from this

people who believes in Karma...smh

oh, and this. Divine justice is nothing but a childish revenge fantasy

 

[nkarafo]

Most people will like you but you won't get far in the competitive society.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

As a very nice person... I've noticed that some people will appreciate you like crazy.

That's just a "pat on the head" so you keep giving out kindness treats. It's what motivates a lot of "nice guys" to think they are making progress. You got to be carfull you don't keep going back to the well of those crazy appreciators, you might be being taken advantage of.

 

[Ethelwulf]

He seems like an arshole to be honest. Anyway, be nice to everyone. If someone is then not nice in return, then don't bother speaking with them again.

 

[Darklor01]

Appears to me that those who have aggressive personalities, regardless of whether they appear nice or not, get farther in life. In the wild, the more gentile animals usually get eaten.

I'm a nice guy, and I've gotten reasonably successful despite the life decisions I've made. As an example of why I feel this way, I note the following:
I work in a large multinational corporation. Several years back, I was working in a department for a lady who, in general, knew enough about the department and her job to get by. She was made manager before I came on board because of the people in the department she knew. Whenever I approached her for assistance in learning something job related to accomplish a task, or approached with a challenge(issue), she would push it off to someone else. Since then, I've worked very hard, got lateral promotions out of the department and a few upwards promotions, but I'm still not as successful as that lady in that other department does no matter how hard I work. She is a (insert explative) and can be reasonably nasty. She is where she is because of her personality and who she knows, not what she knows. All the nice people I know in this company are almost all bottom feeders.

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

I do, and he hates it. He can't stand that I make almost 100k less than him, yet have a girlfriend.

He rationalizes it by saying she's "of lower value" because she's "so ugly [he] can't even stand to look at her" and older than me by a few years.

True story.

That dude is your friend?

Dude would get booted off the friends list immediately for being such a prick lol.. Yes you should be nice and not a pushover. Can't be a bad thing to be a good human being.

 

[TFGB]

You'll find out that being nice, respectful and having manners will get you further in life than being a cunt....nobody likes a cunt.

Many have gained success by being a nasty piece of work, but it usually comes back to bite them in the arse somewhere down the line.

Like yourself, and appreciate the niceness in you. Inner peace.

 

[Astral Dog]

Being too nice/a "pushover" doormat ( i dislike that word for some reason) can make the wrong people walk over you and take advantage, sometimes without them ever realizing.

imo. Know when its time to say enough ,stop taking bullshit and stárt treating yourself better, be considerate and kind to the right people at the right time only.train yourself to be a better person but not always at the expense of others and you should be fine.and don't let toxic people bring you down to their level, of course be more kind than them

 

[Seirith]

I do, and he hates it. He can't stand that I make almost 100k less than him, yet have a girlfriend.

He rationalizes it by saying she's "of lower value" because she's "so ugly [he] can't even stand to look at her" and older than me by a few years.

True story.

Seriously, why are you friends with this guy?

If someone said that about my husband, I'd show them the door and never talk to them again. Life is too short to deal with assholes.

Do yourself a favor and find a new friend.

 

[shawnbuddy]

I'm all for being nice, but from every example the OP gives his friend gets shit done. Saved the asthma kid's life after OP's niceness failed. Motivated OP to get a better job. Demanded a raise and got one. I guess you can't be nice all the time, some times you have to be assertive. It's also easy to confuse niceness with meekness.

 

[ResidentWeevil13]

I do, and he hates it. He can't stand that I make almost 100k less than him, yet have a girlfriend.

He rationalizes it by saying she's "of lower value" because she's "so ugly [he] can't even stand to look at her" and older than me by a few years.

True story.

Why are you friends with this fuck?

Edit: You know, you might be too 'nice' (i.e. meek) considering you are still friends with this guy. I probably would have punched this guy in the face if he said that to me. Definitely wouldn't be hanging out with him anymore.

 

[Hoho for breakfast]

I'm pretty nice but have gotten a little less so just out of necessity for my mental health.

Some people will absolutely take advantage every chance they get if you let them. It was a little hard to get out of that nice guy spot for me because I don't like being an ass, and I don't like people thinking I am.

There's a point though where I was just being taken advantage of to a ridiculous degree and so I simply started telling people "no". No I won't do that for you or no I won't help you with this if you're never going to offer to help in return. Stuff like that. A couple of people suddenly thought I was an asshole once I started telling them no. They were the same people that took advantage every chance they could. I didn't mind it at all. Fuck them.

As for your "friend" OP, he sounds like a complete jackass. Especially with the comment about your girlfriend. I can understand someone being "mean" to motivate you for your own benefit...in fact I think some people should be thanked for it...but this guy just sounds like a dick in general.

 

[SummitAve]

Your friend sounds like he's about to snap.

 

[Saganator]

All about being assertive. Clearly state what you need/want and don't be a dick about it, stick to your guns.

If your friend makes so much money, why does he live with a roommate? Also if the guy is such a toxic asshole, you and his friends are kind of enabling him by keeping him around. Maybe him being left out will get him to reflect a little bit (big maybe). And when he asks, don't be all nice and sugar coat it, assert why.

Him: "hey why didn't you and the guys let me know you were hitting the town last night?"
You: "Because you're an asshole and we needed a break from your shit"