• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Newborn Baby-GAF: Sleepless Nights Deluxe HD Remix

AndyD

aka andydumi
So Tuesday night this happened...

1094825_10151783655248955_1769814959_n.jpg


Twin girls. Little sisters to a 3.5yr old big brother!

Also congrats from a father of 6 month old twins. Great times!
 
Has anyone potty trained before 1 year? I'd like to do it, even if it's a hassle. But I'm not sure where to start. Our nine month old doesn't poop everyday, nor does she poop at the same time on those days. It seems to be completely random. Should I just start sitting her on the training seat for a few minutes at a chosen time?

That's too early. They're not ready for it at that age.
 

statham

Member
Has anyone potty trained before 1 year? I'd like to do it, even if it's a hassle. But I'm not sure where to start. Our nine month old doesn't poop everyday, nor does she poop at the same time on those days. It seems to be completely random. Should I just start sitting her on the training seat for a few minutes at a chosen time?

Your kid doesn't poop everyday? my kid averages 3-4 a day. I have a 13 month old, and hes nowhere close to being potty trained.
 
That's too early. They're not ready for it at that age.
Eh, from what I've read and have been told by my family, it's mostly parents that aren't ready for it. You have to leave the baby without a diaper and make the appropriate remarks/actions when s/he pees or poops. That means devoting your whole day to watching, observing, cleaning, etc., all very patiently. Obviously that would be impractical in my households. But if you can pull it off, it's supposed to be very rewarding for both parties.

Your kid doesn't poop everyday? my kid averages 3-4 a day. I have a 13 month old, and hes nowhere close to being potty trained.
Yeah, I'm not sure what it is. Mine is 9 months old on Thursday. Doc just says that's her nature at the moment... She just went two days without pooping. I don't know if it's related to her current rate of growth, or it's because she's mostly breastfeeding, with just a couple of solids thrown in? Dunno.
 
The info I got from my doctor:


Your child may be ready to start toilet training when he:

  • can stay dry for several hours
  • follows one- or two-step directions
  • knows he needs to go
  • uses words or gestures to tell you or show
  • you he needs to use the potty
  • walks to the potty chair and sits on it
  • can pull his pants up and down
  • wants to use the toilet or potty, and wear
  • underwear

My son just turned 2 and he's not quite at that level yet(for some of those).
 
Eh, from what I've read and have been told by my family, it's mostly parents that aren't ready for it. You have to leave the baby without a diaper and make the appropriate remarks/actions when s/he pees or poops. That means devoting your whole day to watching, observing, cleaning, etc., all very patiently. Obviously that would be impractical in my households. But if you can pull it off, it's supposed to be very rewarding for both parties.

Actually, I'm pretty familiar with that method you're referring to since we were heavily considering it. I know someone who used it and had great results too. However, the method as far as I understand is meant for when a kid is a toddler. A baby that is the age you're considering is just not ready for it at that age. It's too soon for them and not really an issue if the parents are ready for it or not.

Also see the post above mine. There are certain signs that you're supposed to look for. Most, if not all those signs just aren't there in a baby.
 

CrankyJay

Banned
Damn, I'm sorta bummed, kid just started daycare and their web viewer isn't working...brings me to a page with a connect and disconnect button that don't do anything.

Are there any browser plugins for forcing a javascript script to run?

edit: NVM...had to click that compatbility icon in the IE address bar to get it to work, lol
 
No pics yet (3G at the hospital is horrible) but my son was born yesterday! The delivery was folly and eventually went to c-section, but he's a healthy pooper. Sadly I have about 50 negative things to say about Quebec post partum treatment but with a recovering wife and child I can't get up in arms about it.

One q for GAF though; does your child occasionally cry in his sleep? Ours loves to wail once, but it stops quickly and sleep goes uninterrupted...
 

CrankyJay

Banned
No pics yet (3G at the hospital is horrible) but my son was born yesterday! The delivery was folly and eventually went to c-section, but he's a healthy pooper. Sadly I have about 50 negative things to say about Quebec post partum treatment but with a recovering wife and child I can't get up in arms about it.

One q for GAF though; does your child occasionally cry in his sleep? Ours loves to wail once, but it stops quickly and sleep goes uninterrupted...

I think post-partum treatment is pretty crappy everywhere...at least in my experience.
 
Sounds like we had similar experiences. The delivery staff was amazing, and the post partum nurses just pissed off my wife, so much that she wrote a nasty letter when she got home.

I haven't had a particularly large problem with the nurses so far. Some forget to do things but its generally fixed. But the room standard situation is really tough to live with; fathers are highly encouraged by the layout not to be present. (Ie: go to another floor for a bathroom, beds are rare, you have to hope a cafeteria is open, etc). And ordering the room is done Pre-delivery, which is a whole other can of worms...
 

CrankyJay

Banned
I haven't had a particularly large problem with the nurses so far. Some forget to do things but its generally fixed. But the room standard situation is really tough to live with; fathers are highly encouraged by the layout not to be present. (Ie: go to another floor for a bathroom, beds are rare, you have to hope a cafeteria is open, etc). And ordering the room is done Pre-delivery, which is a whole other can of worms...

Oh haha, I didn't experience any of those problems. Actually, I went home at night to sleep...at the request of my wife. But I had access to her bathroom, cafeteria, etc, and rooms weren't a problem.
 
Oh haha, I didn't experience any of those problems. Actually, I went home at night to sleep...at the request of my wife. But I had access to her bathroom, cafeteria, etc, and rooms weren't a problem.

Sounds like a dream! Here only some of the high end rooms have their own bathroom. Most are shared. The general unit is women only. There is a hospital cafeteria open during limited hours in another building. I would love to go home and sleep but post c the wife just doesn't have the mobility or energy to run the ship on her own.
 

aceface

Member
The info I got from my doctor:


Your child may be ready to start toilet training when he:

  • can stay dry for several hours
  • follows one- or two-step directions
  • knows he needs to go
  • uses words or gestures to tell you or show
  • you he needs to use the potty
  • walks to the potty chair and sits on it
  • can pull his pants up and down
  • wants to use the toilet or potty, and wear
  • underwear

My son just turned 2 and he's not quite at that level yet(for some of those).

Both of my kids toilet trained at about 3 or 3 and a half years old.

I think post-partum treatment is pretty crappy everywhere...at least in my experience.

Crappy post-partum care with our first is one of the main reasons why my wife went with a home birth for our last two kids. There's nothing like being home and just falling asleep in your own bed with your baby after everything.
 

iapetus

Scary Euro Man
It's been a whole year now since baby number two joined our family. Doesn't time fly? Won't be long before he's not really a baby at all any more, and it only seems like yesterday he was a real newborn...
 
It's been a whole year now since baby number two joined our family. Doesn't time fly? Won't be long before he's not really a baby at all any more, and it only seems like yesterday he was a real newborn...

Any tips for dealing with two? I'm about to experience that.
 

iapetus

Scary Euro Man
Any tips for dealing with two? I'm about to experience that.

Biggest thing would be to make sure you enjoy the second one as much as the first. It's too easy to forget that sometimes when you've done it all once before and things aren't as new the second time round.
 

daw840

Member
Here's a kind of odd question for parents with girls. I know that with boys, people generally tell little boys that their penis is their pee pee or something similar. What's a good "name" for the vagina? I told my wife that we should just call it that, but she doesn't know if that's a good idea. Anyone have any insight into this? IDK....seems like kind of an odd problem to have, lol.
 
Here's a kind of odd question for parents with girls. I know that with boys, people generally tell little boys that their penis is their pee pee or something similar. What's a good "name" for the vagina? I told my wife that we should just call it that, but she doesn't know if that's a good idea. Anyone have any insight into this? IDK....seems like kind of an odd problem to have, lol.

We just call them her "private parts" right now. You could always suggest "vajayjay."
 
Any tips for dealing with two? I'm about to experience that.
Two is chump change, try three. :p The biggest thing we've done with our four year old was do things with him without the twins. Even if its as simple as taking him to the store, he gets some personal time without the twins and it doesn't feel like we are ignoring him. We also make our son involved. We let him play with the babies and he helps us with feedings and changes. Stress the big brother/sister aspect too. Our son loves the idea of being the big brother, it makes him feel apart of this whole thing. It will be stressful and you will be tired but don't let it get in the way of your relationship with your oldest child.

Finally, have fun with it try not to get too stressed out. In a few months the newborn will be old enough to make things easier and you'll get back into the rhythm of raising an infant.
 
Any tips for dealing with two? I'm about to experience that.
Congratulations!

We have two 16 months apart, it's fun. The only advice I can think of is to make sure that you have a good, safe place to put the older one while you deal with the baby (we had a super play yard set up in one corner of the living room)
 

iapetus

Scary Euro Man
We also make our son involved. We let him play with the babies and he helps us with feelings and changes.

That's a really important thing. Gets him involved and is actually sometimes genuinely helpful. :) Son #1 can actually entertain his brother for quite a while, and is brilliant when it comes to fetching any nappy-changing apparatus you might have forgotten...
 

Lucian Cat

Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Looks like I might be joining you guys in the gaf parenting club. Got a positive test this morning I think. I lost the booklet coz it was a 2 pack from a few months so I can't be sure. So I'm off to the doctors this arvo to check. I'm pretty sure I'm wrong and I read it wrong but I'm late so better safe than sorry. Sweet zombie jesus I am not ready. My partner seems excited though. Will let you know I guess :S
 
Looks like I might be joining you guys in the gaf parenting club. Got a positive test this morning I think. I lost the booklet coz it was a 2 pack from a few months so I can't be sure. So I'm off to the doctors this arvo to check. I'm pretty sure I'm wrong and I read it wrong but I'm late so better safe than sorry. Sweet zombie jesus I am not ready. My partner seems excited though. Will let you know I guess :S
Congrats and good luck at the doctors later today!
 

mrkgoo

Member
Looks like I might be joining you guys in the gaf parenting club. Got a positive test this morning I think. I lost the booklet coz it was a 2 pack from a few months so I can't be sure. So I'm off to the doctors this arvo to check. I'm pretty sure I'm wrong and I read it wrong but I'm late so better safe than sorry. Sweet zombie jesus I am not ready. My partner seems excited though. Will let you know I guess :S

No-one is ever ready, even when they think they are. On the plus side, we all become experts very quickly.
 

kidko

Member
Looks like I might be joining you guys in the gaf parenting club. Got a positive test this morning I think. I lost the booklet coz it was a 2 pack from a few months so I can't be sure. So I'm off to the doctors this arvo to check. I'm pretty sure I'm wrong and I read it wrong but I'm late so better safe than sorry. Sweet zombie jesus I am not ready. My partner seems excited though. Will let you know I guess :S

I'm curious now!
 

Lucian Cat

Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
So I went to the doctors and had another test coz I told him mine was a bit old and wasn't sure of the result. It came back negative but I'm still late. He said if I don't get it in a week to come back and have another one as it may be too early to tell. Or I could have a blood test. I opted to wait. It may just be my overactive imagination so I'm not gonna stress anymore and hope it comes. Thanks for the well wishes everyone <3

If it doesn't happen now we'll be trying by mid next year anyway as was the plan
 

mrkgoo

Member
So I went to the doctors and had another test coz I told him mine was a bit old and wasn't sure of the result. It came back negative but I'm still late. He said if I don't get it in a week to come back and have another one as it may be too early to tell. Or I could have a blood test. I opted to wait. It may just be my overactive imagination so I'm not gonna stress anymore and hope it comes. Thanks for the well wishes everyone <3

If it doesn't happen now we'll be trying by mid next year anyway as was the plan

Well, whatever happens, happens.

But I can tell you, having a child is absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's like discovering purpose. The meaning of life. It feels like nothing less. Finding that is an indescribable emotion.

Also, ask me again in 16 years :p
 

kidko

Member
It may just be my overactive imagination so I'm not gonna stress anymore and hope it comes. Thanks for the well wishes everyone <3

If it doesn't happen now we'll be trying by mid next year anyway as was the plan

Yep, best thing is to let it happen the way it wants and not take any of it personally. Bodies are weird. But they know what they're doing. My wife and I had a number of false starts before our successful one which is 5.5 months along now and seemingly normal and healthy!
 

VanMardigan

has calmed down a bit.
The biggest thing for me going from two kids to three kids is that now I get the names mixed up. I thought my parents did that cause they are old, but its hard to keep track of names!
 

poppabk

Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
The biggest thing for me going from two kids to three kids is that now I get the names mixed up. I thought my parents did that cause they are old, but its hard to keep track of names!
It is a weird mental short circuit. I sometimes call my kids by my dogs names, and then do that weird thing where you list the name of everyone in the family before resting on the right one.
 

aceface

Member
Man my baby, about 9 months old, was an awesome sleeper. Starting at about 3 months old she would sleep 11 straight hours a night and take at least one 2 hour nap during the day.

Except last week, she stopped sleeping. She decided that she's absolutely terrified of her crib. If she realizes that she's in there and we're not around she will stand up and scream. And scream and scream. I have to constantly go back to soothe her and maybe, after 30-60 minutes of screaming, she will go asleep. But if she wakes up and realizes she's alone, the screaming begins again. Usually she will still get about 10 hours of sleep a night with a battle at the beginning of the night and a one hour battle in the middle of the night. During the day she doesn't nap at all anymore. It's like we can't even think about naps, if I put her in her crib it's just screaming and screaming and screaming. This has been going on for about a week and I feel like I'm going nuts. She was such an awesome sleeper before this week too. Anyone else go through this with a 9-10 month old baby?
 

mrkgoo

Member
Man my baby, about 9 months old, was an awesome sleeper. Starting at about 3 months old she would sleep 11 straight hours a night and take at least one 2 hour nap during the day.

Except last week, she stopped sleeping. She decided that she's absolutely terrified of her crib. If she realizes that she's in there and we're not around she will stand up and scream. And scream and scream. I have to constantly go back to soothe her and maybe, after 30-60 minutes of screaming, she will go asleep. But if she wakes up and realizes she's alone, the screaming begins again. Usually she will still get about 10 hours of sleep a night with a battle at the beginning of the night and a one hour battle in the middle of the night. During the day she doesn't nap at all anymore. It's like we can't even think about naps, if I put her in her crib it's just screaming and screaming and screaming. This has been going on for about a week and I feel like I'm going nuts. She was such an awesome sleeper before this week too. Anyone else go through this with a 9-10 month old baby?

Unless there is some issue, it's probably just one of those changes that is individual to each baby.

For out sleep troubles, we followed the concept that babies want to sleep, but use you as a tool to do so. You have to wean them off that. We started a sleep training regime at about 8 months.

Prior to that our daughter didn't sleep through the night.

The regime concepts were simple - establish a routine of a series of calming activities that you repeat without fail (seriously as without fail as you can) stuff like bedtime stories, pajama changes and what not.

They need to know that bedtime is coming most importantly they need to know that they CAN put themselves to sleep without you. This might mean crying for half an hour for the first week.

Another thing that we followed was making sure they were put to their cot awake. If they fall asleep some other way, they're not learning their cot is for sleep or are using the other method as their sleep method.

Of course, as parents, your job is to figure out what is causing them anxiety and to fix that - not necessarily by giving them what they want but by training them off it.



Try a few things like leaving a light on. Or off. Using swaddling techniques. If you are all they want, I would suggest trying to wean her off that.

But definitely think about it and be observant. I know a couple who are just waiting to let it naturally happen - 2 years and counting of not sleeping through the night.


Also note it COULD be just a phase. Our daughter never cared about baths before then suddenly one day she hated it. We figured it was something to do with her head. We tried a few things and she stopped after a week and we stopped doing those few things and went back to before. It's tough - did we actually so something at all? Or did she just work through a phase? We'll never know.

Good luck.
 

aceface

Member
Unless there is some issue, it's probably just one of those changes that is individual to each baby.

For out sleep troubles, we followed the concept that babies want to sleep, but use you as a tool to do so. You have to wean them off that. We started a sleep training regime at about 8 months.

Prior to that our daughter didn't sleep through the night.

The regime concepts were simple - establish a routine of a series of calming activities that you repeat without fail (seriously as without fail as you can) stuff like bedtime stories, pajama changes and what not.

They need to know that bedtime is coming most importantly they need to know that they CAN put themselves to sleep without you. This might mean crying for half an hour for the first week.

Another thing that we followed was making sure they were put to their cot awake. If they fall asleep some other way, they're not learning their cot is for sleep or are using the other method as their sleep method.

Of course, as parents, your job is to figure out what is causing them anxiety and to fix that - not necessarily by giving them what they want but by training them off it.



Try a few things like leaving a light on. Or off. Using swaddling techniques. If you are all they want, I would suggest trying to wean her off that.

But definitely think about it and be observant. I know a couple who are just waiting to let it naturally happen - 2 years and counting of not sleeping through the night.


Also note it COULD be just a phase. Our daughter never cared about baths before then suddenly one day she hated it. We figured it was something to do with her head. We tried a few things and she stopped after a week and we stopped doing those few things and went back to before. It's tough - did we actually so something at all? Or did she just work through a phase? We'll never know.

Good luck.

Thanks for the tips. For ours it seems like she all of a sudden just developed separation anxiety like whoa. As long as I'm in the room she's fine. But if she's alone in there with no one she'll just keep screaming. I'm doing that "go in every 10 minutes thing" but she's so stubborn. I'll do that for an hour and she still won't sleep. Finally I'll just stay in there until she's asleep and creep out. But I know that's not helping the problem of her being able to get herself to sleep on her own. The worst part about it is 1- she was an awesome sleeper for months before this last week and 2- the constant screaming is driving me crazy. Because even when she's up she's tired, cranky, and irritable because she's not sleeping.

Sorry, just venting a bit, need something to do in the middle of the night when she's up lol.
 

kitch9

Banned
Thanks for the tips. For ours it seems like she all of a sudden just developed separation anxiety like whoa. As long as I'm in the room she's fine. But if she's alone in there with no one she'll just keep screaming. I'm doing that "go in every 10 minutes thing" but she's so stubborn. I'll do that for an hour and she still won't sleep. Finally I'll just stay in there until she's asleep and creep out. But I know that's not helping the problem of her being able to get herself to sleep on her own. The worst part about it is 1- she was an awesome sleeper for months before this last week and 2- the constant screaming is driving me crazy. Because even when she's up she's tired, cranky, and irritable because she's not sleeping.

Sorry, just venting a bit, need something to do in the middle of the night when she's up lol.

Kids are stubborn my man, sometimes you just have to break them especially if you know nothing is actually wrong.

Usually they break the parents though as yours is.
 

mrkgoo

Member
Kids are stubborn my man, sometimes you just have to break them especially if you know nothing is actually wrong.

Usually they break the parents though as yours is.
Yah.

Once certain you know nothing is wrong, you just have to let them cry sometimes.

You cannot always put them or accompany them to sleep, so you can't just keep doing that as a short term solution. It's tough, but that's parenting. Treat it like a game - it's a puzzle you have to solve.

And changes can be very sudden. It goes with the territory.
 
Thanks for the tips. For ours it seems like she all of a sudden just developed separation anxiety like whoa. As long as I'm in the room she's fine. But if she's alone in there with no one she'll just keep screaming. I'm doing that "go in every 10 minutes thing" but she's so stubborn. I'll do that for an hour and she still won't sleep. Finally I'll just stay in there until she's asleep and creep out. But I know that's not helping the problem of her being able to get herself to sleep on her own. The worst part about it is 1- she was an awesome sleeper for months before this last week and 2- the constant screaming is driving me crazy. Because even when she's up she's tired, cranky, and irritable because she's not sleeping.

Sorry, just venting a bit, need something to do in the middle of the night when she's up lol.
Just to offer a dissenting opinion, my wife and I are doing the opposite of what the last few posters said: we don't let her cry, we always offer comfort, an we co-sleep. She's almost 11 months old and we're enjoying her a lot :) I rarely get frustrated and our house is always calm as well.

There are different schools of thought, and it seems like you can find child psychologists who can justify any parenting style you like, so you have to just pick what makes most sense for you. To us, that's attachment parenting.
 

mrkgoo

Member
Just to offer a dissenting opinion, my wife and I are doing the opposite of what the last few posters said: we don't let her cry, we always offer comfort, an we co-sleep. She's almost 11 months old and we're enjoying her a lot :) I rarely get frustrated and our house is always calm as well.

There are different schools of thought, and it seems like you can find child psychologists who can justify any parenting style you like, so you have to just pick what makes most sense for you. To us, that's attachment parenting.

As parents you're entitled to do whatever you feel is best of course.

For us, as mentioned above, the crying lasted for a week. And then it was pretty much sleep through the night quietly since then.

Obviously, regression a little when sick or teething, but our daughter learnt that she could sleep on her own.

That said sea 17 months now, and has regressed a little. She has recently started crying a bit more when we put her down and requires a bit more coaxing. Can't complain too much though - I've seem much worse.

I think she's just getting older and requires a different routine we have yet to figure out.
 

mrkgoo

Member
Just out of curiosity, did any of you guys get wistful when your kids reach milestones?

Like say attending school, or just on the road to it.

Sometimes in moments of quiet, I look at older newborn photos and remember a time when my daughter was just born, doing baby things etc. She's barely a toddler now, but I look back at those moments and it kind of makes me sad. Like she's growing up so fast.

I think I'm going to be a big softie and break down during big milestones.
 
6 weeks now. I guess this is peak crying season because he really knows how to scream his lungs out for no reason. Wistful for those early hospital diaper days ;-)
 

aceface

Member
As parents you're entitled to do whatever you feel is best of course.

For us, as mentioned above, the crying lasted for a week. And then it was pretty much sleep through the night quietly since then.

Obviously, regression a little when sick or teething, but our daughter learnt that she could sleep on her own.

That said sea 17 months now, and has regressed a little. She has recently started crying a bit more when we put her down and requires a bit more coaxing. Can't complain too much though - I've seem much worse.

I think she's just getting older and requires a different routine we have yet to figure out.

Actually to update on my difficulties from a few weeks ago, she's sleeping much better now. Around 12 hours at night waking once and 1-2 hrs of naps during the day. The key was getting her to realize that she could fall asleep on her own. We were relying on nursing her to sleep for the past ~5 months but what started happening was she would wake up between the nurse and the crib and would not go back to sleep (because she was so dependent on the nursing). What we finally would do is just keep her up and playing until she was so tired that she eventually just had to fall asleep no matter how much she fought it. After doing it a few times she learned how to fall asleep on her own and it's smooth sailing now. It was a really rough 2 week period though. We also now do a bedtime routine with a story/blanket/soother before bedtime and nap which I think helps.

Here's a picture of the cute little monster standing on her own (just started doing that this week!) and being super proud of herself while I neglect her playing FFXIV.

 

kitch9

Banned
Just to offer a dissenting opinion, my wife and I are doing the opposite of what the last few posters said: we don't let her cry, we always offer comfort, an we co-sleep. She's almost 11 months old and we're enjoying her a lot :) I rarely get frustrated and our house is always calm as well.

There are different schools of thought, and it seems like you can find child psychologists who can justify any parenting style you like, so you have to just pick what makes most sense for you. To us, that's attachment parenting.

One of my friends kids has severe separation anxiety caused by an illness which meant his mother spent a good few weeks having to comfort him constantly.

Having witnessed the hell she his going through I want to avoid that at all costs.
 
Top Bottom