Support NeoGAF

[Sats]

0_o

All you have to do is ask muahahaha

 

[campfireweekend]

All you have to do is ask muahahaha

Oh really?

BTW, where'd you get that avatar?

 

[pikachu Lv 5]

It feels somewhat strange seeing my story out in the open.

 

[lordfroakie]

All you have to do is ask muahahaha

Now im curious

 

[Omni]

Love this thread.

 

[vikki]

The lack of reactions to the incest tale is hilarious.

But holy shit is that a fucked up confession.

I would guess that most don't feel the need to reply to it. Incest exists, why should we be surprised that a gaffer is incestuous? I had a sociology teacher, and as someone mentioned, it's not as uncommon as people think.

To the foot person, I am trying to block out of my head the things that you do, but what is a good looking foot? Is it any and all feet, or is there a preference for shape, color, size?

edit: I have been thinking about sending in a confession..... more to cum.

Spoiler

It won't have anything to do with cum

 

[BlackJace]

Sats is a Pawg ain't she.

 

[ronito]

I'm a high school dropout with a bundle of problems but my most alarming one is my future. I don't have one. Or rather, probably won't have. You see, I live in the wilderness with my family (mother, father and younger sister) who loves to spend money they don't have. We're dirt poor by today's standards and we're lucky if we can afford enough food for a month. I don't know much about my parents economical situation but I know there is a reason we barely can afford necessities such as food and paying the bills. Look, I want nothing more than to finish school, find something I want to make a living off and then do whatever it is I want to/have to do. But with my situation as it is I don't have any motivation whatsoever to do so nor do I think I ever will. Sometimes, I just wish I could die peacefully without any pain whatsoever as I've had my fair share of it already and I'm thoroughly sick of it.

Gonna need a lot more information. Is there a chance of leaving on your own? What country and such.

 

[ronito]

Back when I was 10 my family used to take care of one of my grandmothers for some months. I hated the situations since it implied that I had to sleep in the couch. On top of that, she was hard of hearing and was recently diagnosed alzheimer, which made the daily interactions with her quite exasperating. I used to lose my patient very frequently, which usually led to me shouting, sometimes even insulting and smacking her hands. She would then tell my parents and I, of course, denied everything and they assumed it was all part of the early alzheimer symptoms. They told her to stop making things up, and she was desperate because no one believed her. A few weeks later she was taken to a retirement home, where she has spent over 13 years.

I feel terrible whenever I visit her. I can even apologize given her mental status, and I don't have enough guts to confess to my parents.

While this is really sad, you need to remember you were TEN. I'm betting there were a lot of other reasons why they sent her to the home. Doesn't make it ok but you can't put all the blame on you, it's more complicated than that.

 

[ShironRedshift]

I've spent 28 years of my life in a school environment. I just graduated this year and I found a job that pays pretty well and requires me to do very little. My days consist of waking up, going to work, waiting for lunch, waiting to knock off, waiting for dinner, waiting to sleep, and then the cycle resets itself. It is soul crushingly boring. I have very few friends, and I've only managed to ever have a relationship with 1 woman ever. One day, about 5 years ago, she told me that she didn't love me and I could be replaced with any other man. It broke my heart and we drifted apart after that.

None of my ex-classmates went to graduate school and almost all of them have a family of their own now, some have children, they have their own apartments, own cars etc. Whenever I think of my classmates, I think, "How the hell do these asshats have everything in life figured out?" But I know I'm the one who's fucked up. All I know is that I know nothing.

Just like my brother, who's 8 years younger than me, he grew up being jealous of my excellent grades at school. He just graduated with a bachelor's degree this year, but he's already been rolling in the big bucks for the past 2 years selling property. He's already engaged, and they've bought their own apartment. I can only afford to stay with my parents. He's got many friends, plenty of money making business ideas. Every time I look at him I feel like a failure. All I do in my free time is play video games and watch porn.

A PhD degree is pretty much useless for anything. Jobs are impossibly scarce, and what there's a very high chance that what you've learnt has no real world application. I did it to test my own limits, but even with a doctorate I'm still the same fucked up lazy asshole that I always was. I know that the world doesn't owe me a living, but I'm having a very hard time trying to find some meaning in my life, and suicide has crossed my mind way too many times this month. I know this confession sounds exactly like a 1st world problem compared to some of the other stuff in the thread. Thanks for reading in any case.

Well, you're clearly not satisfied with just playing video games and watching porn. Perhaps consider doing volunteer work in your free time, at a food bank or something? If it's hard to motivate yourself to bother, just realize that you aren't going to be happy just lazing about at home anyway, so why not get out and give a try? And just keep beating yourself up and don't let yourself off the hook until you do. And who knows? You could and in fact probably will meet some awesome people doing that, so it's worth a try.

Also, I know it's cliche, but consider joining a gym as well--it's a cliche for a reason. It's a wonder how much making sure you get a good workout every day can improve your mood. It's not even about seeing gains or anything--just getting a good workout by itself every day can really do a lot by itself either way. And in terms of motivation, again, just don't let yourself do anything else until you hit the gym if that's an issue. Like, keep sticky notes on your games or something that say "HIT THE GYM!!!" or something as a reminder to not let yourself play them until you've done so if you need to.

Just do whatever you can to get yourself out of the house. It will be hard at first, but once you manage to take that first step, you'll be so glad you did. Best of luck!

 

[User 100115]

You know, I sat down and thought about what confession I could send in, but I honestly don't have anything I haven't really opened up about on Gaf before.

For the anon that everyone admires: I understand that feel, at least on Gaf, heh. My life is a huge mess but people like me here, and I feel I don't deserve it. Sometimes when I give advice to folk I feel like a fraud, like 'Why the fuck would you know what they should do? Look at your life!"

 

[Angry Fork]

The impregnated sister sounds too fake so I didn't react. If it's real then wow obviously, but I don't believe it is.

 

[Lunchbox]

i ditched a date for call of duty 4 clan matches

 

[strobogo]

Yeah, exercising to near exhaustion really makes you not give a shit about your problems. You just have to find the motivation to do it in the first place.

 

[Sats]

You know, I sat down and thought about what confession I could send in, but I honestly don't have anything I haven't really opened up about on Gaf before.

For the anon that everyone admires: I understand that feel, at least on Gaf, heh. My life is a huge mess but people like me here, and I feel I don't deserve it. Sometimes when I give advice to folk I feel like a fraud, like 'Why the fuck would you know what they should do? Look at your life!"

I just went with nudie pics. That's how I solve all my life's problems.

 

[Hypereides]

Well first off, assuming this isn't bullshit.What to do? Well submitting a confession with your age, the fact that her husband as on a business trip then put his real name in that confession posted on a popular internet site was probably not a good first step.

Some times I wonder if these people even consider the consequences before participating into this kind of primal fornication...

I mean, fucking your cousin is one bad idea, but fucking your sister is just as bad if not worse.

...And whats more: doing it without rubber?? Woah buddy, you're on your own.

My only suggestion is that you opt for an abortion, even though that's a pretty shitty thing to do, but that's probably your best option if you want to "neutralize your mistake".

That, or let the child be raised as her husbands in sworn secrecy.

 

[strobogo]

My reaction to just about every confession has been

 

[Nesotenso]

I've spent 28 years of my life in a school environment. I just graduated this year and I found a job that pays pretty well and requires me to do very little. My days consist of waking up, going to work, waiting for lunch, waiting to knock off, waiting for dinner, waiting to sleep, and then the cycle resets itself. It is soul crushingly boring. I have very few friends, and I've only managed to ever have a relationship with 1 woman ever. One day, about 5 years ago, she told me that she didn't love me and I could be replaced with any other man. It broke my heart and we drifted apart after that.

None of my ex-classmates went to graduate school and almost all of them have a family of their own now, some have children, they have their own apartments, own cars etc. Whenever I think of my classmates, I think, "How the hell do these asshats have everything in life figured out?" But I know I'm the one who's fucked up. All I know is that I know nothing.

Just like my brother, who's 8 years younger than me, he grew up being jealous of my excellent grades at school. He just graduated with a bachelor's degree this year, but he's already been rolling in the big bucks for the past 2 years selling property. He's already engaged, and they've bought their own apartment. I can only afford to stay with my parents. He's got many friends, plenty of money making business ideas. Every time I look at him I feel like a failure. All I do in my free time is play video games and watch porn.

A PhD degree is pretty much useless for anything. Jobs are impossibly scarce, and what there's a very high chance that what you've learnt has no real world application. I did it to test my own limits, but even with a doctorate I'm still the same fucked up lazy asshole that I always was. I know that the world doesn't owe me a living, but I'm having a very hard time trying to find some meaning in my life, and suicide has crossed my mind way too many times this month. I know this confession sounds exactly like a 1st world problem compared to some of the other stuff in the thread. Thanks for reading in any case.

Man this hits too close to home in some aspects.

 

[Nealand Liquor]

Need to sub... read upto page 11 then couldn't find the thread. Why I find others dirty laundry so enticing probably says some nasty things about my higher brain function.

 

[ShironRedshift]

You know, I sat down and thought about what confession I could send in, but I honestly don't have anything I haven't really opened up about on Gaf before.

For the anon that everyone admires: I understand that feel, at least on Gaf, heh. My life is a huge mess but people like me here, and I feel I don't deserve it. Sometimes when I give advice to folk I feel like a fraud, like 'Why the fuck would you know what they should do? Look at your life!"

It's because of your heart, of course.You really are an amazingly wonderful, kind, and helpful person, and that's why I like you and feel you definitely deserve it, since that by itself is more than enough for me to like a person. So what if you have made/continue to make some silly decisions and your life's a huge mess or whatever? The most important thing is that your heart is in the right place and from what I've seen from all the lurking I've done on this site, it definitely is and you definitely care a lot about people, perhaps a bit more than is healthy for your own good at times (which is a feeling I definitely know too well myself and has lead to me to do some stupid things), which definitely meets and exceeds my criteria for both liking a person and for a person to deserve that feeling.

And besides, at the very least, if you're life really is such a huge mess as you put it, then at least you would have some advice on what to avoid doing, right? So don't worry so much about it (of course, I know that's not something you can really control, as I myself of guilty of constantly beating myself up over the stupidest things and obsessing about all kinds of things. But still, just do your best--that's all that really can be asked, after all.)

(And also, especially since I'm mostly a lurker, yeah, I realize and am afraid that this post will just come off as completely creepy. >.< But I just hate seeing people feeling like they don't deserve other people's affection and beating themselves up and making themselves feel all bleh over the little things in life, since like I said, I do enough of that to myself at time and it's bad enough that I do that to myself, so I can't stand it when I see others do it as well. Thus, if this posts helps even a little, it's worth the risk of coming off as creepy to me. ^_^)

 

[ronito]

I don't know why but for some reason I started a list that I keep on my computer of neogaffers that I'd have sex with I've kept it for about three years. Sorry Ronito you're not on it

 

[ronito]

I believe I have a fetish for voyeurism because of watching my next door neighbor play with her breasts when I was 12. I have always happened to see women taking showers, by complete accident. I don't go out of my way to spy on anyone. For instance when I was 16 I was eating dinner at the table and I looked up as my neighbor(18 cheerleader) was taking a shower, I got to see everything as I ate and enjoyed it all as I saw her soaping her body and touching herself. I was eating cereal too.

The first time I started to masterbate was when I was around 11 years old. I wasn't able to have sperm come out, but I was able to have the most amazing orgasms of my life(although lately they have been extremely good as well). I had been watching late night tv shows on the CBC, and found that they had nudity. I had gotten the idea to rub my penis from a movie that I saw a woman having sex with a man, I believe they were on a deserted island, and I was curious as to how they were feeling so good. My penis was hard, and I started rubbing it and that's how I had my first orgasm.

I do understand how other people had humped beds and pillows as I did that as well.

This one is for those who love reading others sex stories. This one time while my entire family was waiting for me downstairs at our house. I was getting changing or resting for a moment and my gf was with me. She was wearing a dress, and I was so horny. So I started making out with her and I got her to put her hands against the wall as I made sweet love to her as my family waited. I pushed her breasts out of her dress and felt them as I pounded her from behind. It was hot, and I kept her panties the rest of night until we had sex again later that day, twice at the end of the day actually. So three times in total.

Another time I was massaging this hot woman who has very nice boobs. I was giving her a full body massage, and I was focusing on her feet. She actually had an orgasm from my massage.
One more time I was massaging her, I would sometimes ask what made her feel better. Well I had gotten to her pelvis area, and was sliding my hands all over her, and was slightly rubbing her clit as I moved my hands in that region. I asked her between one stroke or the one touching her clit which one she enjoyed more, and she said the one rubbing her clit. So I made her have another orgasm from massaging her there. We don't talk about it, but she always tells people I'm amazing at massages. I also have massaged her breasts many times, and love how she teases me around her family by not wearing bras.

BTW, your link was broken so I can't put them all together. Whatever.

I have to say that this is my favorite confession so far. Why? Because the confessor thought it important to add in the fact that they were cereal into the confession. "She was smoking hot...and I was eating cereal." Very important. We need more cereal in these confessions.

 

[ShockingAlberto]

I wish I was black or Asian. I always have. I know it's wrong to want to change who I am, but I just despise being white, not for my whiteness, but because most of my immediate family is racist and I feel that I will always be tied to them.

I spent a lot of my life wishing I were white. So many things would just be so much easier.

 

[Angry Fork]

I have always happened to see women taking showers, by complete accident. I don't go out of my way to spy on anyone.

lol this sounds like something a defendant would say in court after being caught.

 

[Madrin]

I have to say that this is my favorite confession so far. Why? Because the confessor thought it important to add in the fact that they were cereal into the confession. "She was smoking hot...and I was eating cereal." Very important. We need more cereal in these confessions.

I also noticed that lol. The whole thing is written in kind of an amusingly aimless way. I liked this part too:

I was able to have the most amazing orgasms of my life(although lately they have been extremely good as well).

Nice to know they have been good lately as well.

 

[JustHadToJoin]

Fucking damn it all to hell, I've reached the end of the thread

 

[Eppy Thatcher]

If someone ever fucking jacked off into a pair of my socks I would be fucking FURIOUS

See a new Confession thread and squee with joy ..

Click and get the rundown on page 1 ... yes yes yes.. been here done this before. I know the dealio .. lets jump to the last page and see how this has spiraled this year...

Read this post first thing.

Most consistent gold posts of ANY thread EVER around here. Subbed so hard mother fuckers gonna fine me. This shit cray.

Carry on!!!

 

[User 100115]

It's because of your heart, of course.You really are an amazingly wonderful, kind, and helpful person, and that's why I like you and feel you definitely deserve it, since that by itself is more than enough for me to like a person. So what if you have made/continue to make some silly decisions and your life's a huge mess or whatever? The most important thing is that your heart is in the right place and from what I've seen from all the lurking I've done on this site, it definitely is and you definitely care a lot about people, perhaps a bit more than is healthy for your own good at times (which is a feeling I definitely know too well myself and has lead to me to do some stupid things), which definitely meets and exceeds my criteria for both liking a person and for a person to deserve that feeling.

And besides, at the very least, if you're life really is such a huge mess as you put it, then at least you would have some advice on what to avoid doing, right? So don't worry so much about it (of course, I know that's not something you can really control, as I myself of guilty of constantly beating myself up over the stupidest things and obsessing about all kinds of things. But still, just do your best--that's all that really can be asked, after all.)

(And also, especially since I'm mostly a lurker, yeah, I realize and am afraid that this post will just come off as completely creepy. >.< But I just hate seeing people feeling like they don't deserve other people's affection and beating themselves up and making themselves feel all bleh over the little things in life, since like I said, I do enough of that to myself at time and it's bad enough that I do that to myself, so I can't stand it when I see others do it as well. Thus, if this posts helps even a little, it's worth the risk of coming off as creepy to me. ^_^)

You kinda made me tear up, thanks. Not creepy at all. Sometimes I think it's kinda sad that so much of my self worth is wrapped up in trying to help people online, but people like you remind that it's worth it, and helps when I'm feeling down. Thanks again. (And now your my favorite lurker)

 

[thehypocrite]

All you have to do is ask muahahaha

Now im curious

lol.

Great thread is back with the original host, thanks Ronito.

 

[akira28]

I just went with nudie pics. That's how I solve all my life's problems.

play your cards right, you could end up in college. Or at least a full Amazon wish list.

 

[ShironRedshift]

You kinda made me tear up, thanks. Not creepy at all. Sometimes I think it's kinda sad that so much of my self worth is wrapped up in trying to help people online, but people like you remind that it's worth it, and helps when I'm feeling down. Thanks again. (And now your my favorite lurker)

No problem. ^_^ And yeah, I mean, of course your self worth should ideally come from an inner sense of just being happy with the person you are, through and through, and that's the feeling we should all be working towards having, but on the other hand... is it being tied to helping people, online or otherwise, really that bad? I mean, it definitely could be much worse--at least you don't get a sense of self worth by putting others down and making them feel less than you or pointlessly risking your life doing stupid things just for the sake of seeing how far you can push your luck or something. Of course, it's still not the best, most truly beneficial and effective way of deriving self-worth, but it's pretty high up there on the alternatives at least, I'd say.

 

[ronito]

I'm a straight guy but i've been stupidly kinky when it comes to masturbation.

When I was in my late teens I have no idea how but I discovered anal play. Whenever the house was free I would find literally anything to put up my ass. I'm talking brooms, chair legs and various other crap I could find in the kitchen. That then lead me to gay porn, I mean I wanted to find what I could do, what my limit was and I could totally relate to the way the guys in these videos were feeling. The problem? Every single time, the moment I came I would be overcome with a feeling of immediate and complete self loathing. Yet I couldn't help myself.

This even continued for a while after I met my first girlfriend. I've never told a soul, it makes me feel kind of weird having that kind of thing kept to myself. I've stopped it completely now and i've never felt the urge to return. I'm glad i've found some medium in which I can let this out finally.

Perhaps one day I will be with a girl who is super liberal in the bedroom and I can return to the realm of anal play and for once not be left with this sense of guilt that would flush over me. But until then i'll just have to stick to a good ol' fashion rub n tug while watching straight porn.

Chairs?

 

[vikki]

Chairs?

You made it seem so wrong. You gave the chair a personality. Now it's like he's taking advantage of a helpless chair. So very wrong, lol.

 

[Elija2]

Meh, I always feel a little bit of guilt and disgust after jerking off.

 

[Stet]

Meh, I always feel a little bit of guilt and disgust after jerking off.

Maybe you're doing it Catholically?

 

[ronito]

I don't know if it's insecurities, a poor self image, or now habit, but I edit almost every single post I make on gaf. Whether it's to add punctuation, change a word or phrase or add entire paragraphs, I always seem to end up in the quick edit page after every post. Most of them happen within seconds of hitting submit so it doesn't show it. It seems I always think of something else to add after the fact, no matter how much time I spent writing the initial post.

Now there's one of your posts you haven't edited.

 

[vikki]

Meh, I always feel a little bit of guilt and disgust after jerking off.

You should try it in the shower, it's like two birds one stone.

 

[Stet]

Oxford comma used, needs more editing.

 

[ronito]

Proactive TL;DR: Verbose dude cheats on his wife with his coworker. Needs lessons in erotica from Fiction

I've been waiting for confession time to open again. I never felt compelled to before, but why not? I'm purposely omitting potentially identifying information, never know who reads GAF.

To begin: I'm a black male in my 20s. Over 6'. Slimmer muscular build. I'm married with kids. I work in a white collar professional field, and I'm well paid. I'm not flashy... I'm rather plain. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I'm not religious. I'm straight edge. I've been with my wife for over 10 years. Do that math. My parents are proud of me, bragging on their son who has gone on to do great things with his life. I love my wife and kids, to death. That is my responsibility in life... to provide and take care for them. That's what I feel a man is supposed to do when you've had children.

With my success, work, and life experiences... came a lot of confidence. I'm passionate about my work, with that comes a lot of knowledge and expertise. I am often the youngest guy in a meeting with large companies dictating where we're going... making it happen. Everyone in the room looks to me for answers. Growing up I've seen what adults go through, the illusion of them having their shit together shattered. Once that happened, I could just see their bullshit of every day life. Genuine confidence just goes such a long way is my point.

My confession? I love fucking, or more specifically, fucking other women. When I was a teenager, I never knew I would become this way. My father would tell me time and time again... "Get it out of your system now... or you'll act a fool later." I was too awkward back then though for a variety of reasons I won't go into detail about. My father... this guy definitely glorified sex, sort of turning me off of it early on. It's all he would talk about. I'd rather talk about football or whatever. Not that I didn't fantasize and think about sex.

So it started a few years ago when a coworker started flirting with me. Something just clicked. I think it's because nowadays (post teenage years), women generally don't make passes at me, nor do I put myself in more relaxed/expected situations like clubs and bars. I have been called handsome, sexy, etc... Anyway, I think people tend to fall into family expectations eventually. So, for attractive white women to make passes at me (a black guy) is *highly* unusual. I don't waste anytime letting her know I would love to sample her. In the same conversation she admitted to never being with a black guy. "Well good, I've never been with a white woman." I then suggested perhaps we could remedy that. To descibe her a bit.. she's slim, white, blonde, blue eyes.. 5'6.. B/C cup.

I stay late at work a few nights later to meet her in my office. She's extremely nervous... for several reasons as you can surmise. She tells me my eyes are too intense for her, so I offer to close them. She then sits in a chair next to mine and places her legs in my lap. I run my hands along them gently... she's silky smooth. She smells *so* good. Not a lot of artifical product... just woman and light lotion. I make casual conversation, about what I can't remember exactly... she gets in my lap and starts grinding on me.. I grab her by the sides.. stroking up and down.. feeling her body up. I pick her up and sit her on my desk.. pull her panties off.. "Damn she's beautiful", I'm thinking to myself (she still is to this day). I kiss and suck on her inner thighs, grabbing at her.. giving her that feeling she's being controlled... taken. I lick and suck her pussy for a bit, she's soaked... moaning... now she wants to be fucked. I stand up and she gets off the desk... I sit on the desk, pulling my pants down.. maintaining eye contact.. her lips are parted.. eyes focused back and forth on my eyes and my briefs. I tell her to pull it out.. she complies.

Now she starts to freak out a bit after she pulls it out. "It's so big no way!" "Nope.. we can't do this." I'm genuinely confused because I'm not big like that (pornstar big), but sure more than average. I convince her after much denying that it's as big as she says... to put it in her mouth. She complies. I can tell at this point she hasn't done this often, but I hold her hair... let her try. After a bit I pull her off, kiss her mouth and neck.. pull at her body. I put her on my desk.. she's looking at the ceiling.. anticipating at this point. I start to force myself inside bareback, her eyes widen, she gasps... covers her mouth quickly. I fuck her on my desk... she's *loud*. She's got a very tight.. compact pussy. I'm thinking to myself, "You're really doing this, guy. *Approve*" I pull out and cum all over her stomach. I clean her up with some paper towels I have in my desk. We talk more about random things.. then before she walks out my door I grab her, turn her towards the wall and feel her up against it.. she's on her tiptoes.. I'm grinding against her.. and then I say goodbye. And that's the start to that relationship. Long story short, I've been seeing her for years, and love her too. She's also many years married. Her husband is racist. Sexually, she's adapted to me. I've guided that side of her to my liking. It couldn't be better, honestly.

I believe it's possible to love more than one person. I genuinely care for her. #1 is my wife and kids though, and it took her a while to accept that I wouldn't leave them, or put her first. At this point I look at myself and wonder, "How many men are in my position? Keeping everything together.. mistress/lover on the side. Like two lives... but everything is smooth.. no one is the wiser." I look here on GAF and see all the outrage at cheating, it would make you think otherwise. But, it's not socially acceptable. It's secret. How many would just admit to cheating publicly? So I just sit and read in silence.

This is rather long now, but I can post more if desired.

No, I don't think that will be necessary.

 

[Elija2]

Now there's one of your posts you haven't edited.

I have a habit of re-reading and previewing my posts a bunch of times before submitting them. I'll even look up the exact definitions of some words to make sure I'm using them correctly.

 

[sohois]

BTW, your link was broken so I can't put them all together. Whatever.

I have to say that this is my favorite confession so far. Why? Because the confessor thought it important to add in the fact that they were cereal into the confession. "She was smoking hot...and I was eating cereal." Very important. We need more cereal in these confessions.

Confessor is Kai Leng confirmed

 

[Trike]

Proactive TL;DR: Verbose dude cheats on his wife with his coworker. Needs lessons in erotica from Fiction


No, I don't think that will be necessary.

I will edit/rewrite parts of this so it is readable. It should be easy, because I masturbate to "amateur interracial extramarital affairs that take place in or around an office" erotica for a living.

Dear Penthouse,

To begin: Imagine Louis from Left 4 Dead. Bam, that is what I look like. I own Married... With Children on dvd. I work in the office of a collared shirt store. I am not reflective physically. I am quite parched even though I don't smoke/talk to Jesus. I've been with my wife for over for a decade, which is how many yeas?. Do that math. My parents realize I am the greatest, which is why my Dad talked to me about sex a lot (more on that later). I love my wife and kids, to death. That is my responsibility in life... to provide and take care for them. That's what I feel a man is supposed to do when you've had children. Not that I want to be tied down forever, LOL! More on that later.

With my success, work, and life experiences... cum a lot of confidence. I'm passionate about my work (and at work! More on that later.). I am often the freshest to death-est guy in meetings. Everyone in the room knows I am the greatest. Growing up I've seen what losers go through. I am not one of them, they are not me, and that is why they get all depressed and shit. Genuine confidence just goes such a long way is my point.

My confession? I love fucking, or more specifically, not fucking men. When I was a teenager, I never knew I would have sex. My father would tell me time and time again... "Get it out of your system now... or you'll show porn to your cousin later." I was too awkward back then for a variety of reasons I won't go into detail due to all of the space already used to talk about how great I am. I don't really want to tarnish that. My father... this guy definitely glorified sex, sort of turning me off. It's all he would talk about. I'd rather fantasize and think about sex.

So it started a few years ago when a coworker started flirting with me. Something just clicked. I think it's because I really wanted to have sex with this woman. So, for attractive white women to make passes at me (a black guy) is *highly* unusual because I work in the 1950s. I don't waste anytime letting her know I've never been with a white woman. I then told he we should fuck. To describe her a bit.. she is a white woman with a fluctuating bust .

Instead of doing her that night, we make plans for a few days later. This way you all know that this is not a quick and rash decision, it was premeditated. She's extremely nervous because I was staring at her like I intended to murder her. She then sat in an adjacent chair places her legs in my lap. I run my hands along them gently... she's silky smooth, like metal. But not a lot of artificial product... I am almost positive she was not a robot. I talk to her about the weather for no fucking reason. She gets in my lap and starts grinding on me.. I grab her by the skateboard.. spinning the wheels.. feeling her board up. I pick her up and sit her on my desk as I yell "HULK SMASH". I proceed to pull her panties off and think "Damn she's beautiful", which either I am talking about her vagina or I was ignorant to her looks before. I give her oral until she ruins my desk because I didn't think this out enough. I stand up and make snake noises while she gets off the desk and I slither over to the desk, with my pants falling off due to friction. The whole time I am maintaining eye contact despite the fact that I scared her earlier by doing so. She avoids my stare by looking at my Spider-Man underwear. I tell her to pull it out.. she complies.

Now she starts to freak out a bit after she pulls it out. "It's so big no way!" "Nope.. we can't do this." I'm genuinely confused because I was expecting her to yell at my penis for not being "porn star big". I ask her if she enjoy the movies of Samuel L Jackson, because it is time to make my black snake moan. She told me she understood that reference. I can tell at this point that she did not. After a bit I put her on my desk, and she's looking at the ceiling and counting the dots. I fuck her on my desk. She's got a very tight, compact pussy. I'm thinking to myself, "Her vagina is so compact it is like a Ford Focus. They both have great safety ratings and everyone should go out and get one today." I pull out and jizz all over her stomach, aiming for her belly button. I clean her up with some paper towels I have in my desk (I always knock over liquids). We talk about how not enough people use ellipses and then I say " ...good...bye..." That was the start to my affair. Long story short... wait never mind I got more to say. I've been seeing her for years, and love her too. She's also many years married. Her husband is racist. Sexually, she's adapted to me. I've guided that side of her to my liking. It couldn't be better, honestly. Expect maybe if I was still committed and honest to my wife.

I believe it's possible to love more than one person. Haven't you seen season four of 30 Rock? I look here on GAF and see all the outrage at cheating, it would make you think otherwise. But, it's not socially acceptable. It's secret. How many would just admit to cheating publicly? So I just sit and read in silence.

This is rather long now, but I can post more if desired. I can still see some of the paint on my period key.

.

 

[Professor Beef]

I don't know why but for some reason I started a list that I keep on my computer of neogaffers that I'd have sex with I've kept it for about three years. Sorry Ronito you're not on it

I bet I'm not on it either.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

I bet I'm not on it either.

You were on mine until you uninvited me to your hypothetical Thanksgiving feast

 

[Professor Beef]

You were on mine until you uninvited me to your hypothetical Thanksgiving feast

Check the thread again!

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

Check the thread again!

'Kay you're back on it <3

 

[John Rabbit]

You know, I sat down and thought about what confession I could send in, but I honestly don't have anything I haven't really opened up about on Gaf before.

For the anon that everyone admires: I understand that feel, at least on Gaf, heh. My life is a huge mess but people like me here, and I feel I don't deserve it. Sometimes when I give advice to folk I feel like a fraud, like 'Why the fuck would you know what they should do? Look at your life!"

some of the things people post on GAF are so strikingly similar to my own life/thoughts/ideas/etc that it creeps me out a little, but moreover they make me feel like i'd want to know most of GAF in real life.

except on gaming side, that place is crazytown.

 

[Dryk]

So I take it in the US everyone just showers in full view of the window? Have you collectively never heard of frosted glass or sheer curtains?

I'm purposely omitting potentially identifying information, never know who reads GAF.

To begin: I'm a black male in my 20s. Over 6'. Slimmer muscular build. I'm married with kids.

This confession is off to a great start

No, most people have something to block out the view of the bathroom. Those people generally go out into the front yard and start sensually washing themselves with a hose.

Almost makes me won't to move there

 

[Trike]

So I take it in the US everyone just showers in full view of the window? Have you collectively never heard of frosted glass or sheer curtains?


This confession is off to a great start

No, most people have something to block out the view of the bathroom. Those people generally go out into the front yard and start sensually washing themselves with a hose.

 

[BuddyJoeHooker]

So I take it in the US everyone just showers in full view of the window? Have you collectively never heard of frosted glass or sheer curtains?

Pretty sure that confessor was Canadian.