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[Dandy Crocodile]

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags.

Uh...I honestly think you're really attractive. I don't know if it means much to you coming from a gay guy, though, haha.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years now, we started dating towards the end of high school. We're both our firsts, and although I do love her very much I can't help but to be bothered with the fact that I might never experience anything sexual with other girls… I'm not looking for a relationship, I love my girlfriend, but I feel that it might become problematic, or maybe not, but it'll probably be a huge regret.

I'm leaving for another country for three months to work and sometimes I start wondering that if I hypothetically hooked up with someone over there, a complete stranger at the other side of the world I'll only see once in my life that I obviously have no interest in pursuing a relationship with (and vice-versa), what makes it so that we would feel remorse? I'd like to make one thing clear, I would never cheat on my girlfriend out of respect. However, given the situation I'm in, I can't help but feel like sometimes the "relationship code" doesn't make sense. Then again, maybe I'm just mad thirsty or something… whatever, needed to vent (mind you I have kinda mentioned my position about this before to my gf, but she doesn't believe you can have sex with someone if you're not in love with that person in the first place)..

I can't imagine only having sex with just one person all my life. Although when I was with my first girlfriend I could not imagine having sex with anybody else and it feeling that good.

Life goes on and you do meet other people that can also make you feel that good. Having sex with someone new is a great feeling and you'll learn a lot. There's only so much you can learn from one person and you'll soon hit their limits of what they are prepared to do. Nothing kills your libido more than a long term relationship, not matter how attractive your partner is you'll get bored of having the same sex with them sooner or later. Better to regret this things you have done then you haven't.

There's nothing wrong with "the relationship code" but throwing yourself into that without experience when you're young girlfriend/engaged/married/kids and not finding out about other people might not be best for your development.

As for your girlfriend thinking you can't have sex without love. That's how she feels but not everybody needs that. Women need the emotional connection much more than men do.

 

[jasonng]

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

Oh come the fuck on. You're a good looking dude and chicks love scars. Don't worry too much about it, man.

 

[marrec]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

You've probably heard this before, but you look perfectly fine. Hotter than me even, and I pull tail like mad.

 

[Vermillion]

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

A young Looker.

 

[Lucian Cat]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

Dude, you're not ugly. Far from it. Trust me, I'm a girl

 

[Trike]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

This is kind of disappointing. Going by your confession and stuff I was assuming you had some sort of physical issue, like terrible skin or something. But you don't, you are just a good looking dude with self-esteem issues. If people are staring at you it is probably because you are constantly looking at a compact mirror. Or they like you. Or they like-like you. Or they are weird and stare at people.

The scar thing I kind of understand, I have two prominent scars. One on my right hand from playing a stupid game on the school bus when I was a kid. The one I am more upset about is an inch(ish) scar above my eyebrow that came from when someone threw a wooden Thor replica hammer at my face. There are creams and stuff you can use to make it less visible, though honestly I could not see your scar in your picture. I've had my facial scar for over a year and I have never had anyone ask me about it. Even if they did, I wouldn't care and would tell them what happened. BTW, beating cancer is way better excuse than "Thor hammer to face".

As for your mental health problems, yeah, just go to a doctor. That is what they are there for. No, they probably won't be able to do anything for you, but they will refer you to someone who can.

 

[vikki]

True story: I once went 11 years without masturbating. Then I turned 12.

Honestly, it is raw because of the friction? Are you grabbing too tight? I hate to say while natural lube is way better the synthetic stuff should be good enough. You might have something that just makes your skin way too sensitive (the weekly wet dreams might be symptom) perhaps talk to your doctor? Weekly is way too frequent.

I actually didn't learn to wank until after I was having orgasms on the reg. I wasn't getting laid, I was 13. The apartment complex I grew up in had nice strong shower power that I angled at my weiner. At first it wasn't really intentional, but after I realized that it felt good, I put the stream directly on my teen peen. The first time I had an orgasm I had no idea wtf was going on. I started spending more time in the shower. Shortly after I had my first O my family moved. The new shower didn't have the water pressure to make me come, so I learned to use my hands.

Find out what feels good and take it slow. You can't just mash everything down there. Be careful after the first O, it gets addictive.

 

[Linsies]

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

You are a great looking guy! You remind me so much of my brother. I tell him all the time how great he looks and how amazing and smart he is but he has the lowest self esteem. It makes me so sad. I am the same way, however. I never really feel good enough.

Sadly, I know exactly how you feel regarding feeling like everyone is looking at and judging you. I have OCD, which I recently got medicated for. It has actually helped me to feel that way MUCH less. I hope you can get the help you need. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

 

[Omni]

Uh...I honestly think you're really attractive. I don't know if it means much to you coming from a gay guy, though, haha.

Oh come the fuck on. You're a good looking dude and chicks love scars. Don't worry too much about it, man.

You've probably heard this before, but you look perfectly fine. Hotter than me even, and I pull tail like mad.

A young Looker.

Dude, you're not ugly. Far from it. Trust me, I'm a girl

Cheers, guys. That makes me feel a bit better.

This is kind of disappointing. Going by your confession and stuff I was assuming you had some sort of physical issue, like terrible skin or something. But you don't, you are just a good looking dude with self-esteem issues. If people are staring at you it is probably because you are constantly looking at a compact mirror. Or they like you. Or they like-like you. Or they are weird and stare at people.

The scar thing I kind of understand, I have two prominent scars. One on my right hand from playing a stupid game on the school bus when I was a kid. The one I am more upset about is an inch(ish) scar above my eyebrow that came from when someone threw a wooden Thor replica hammer at my face. There are creams and stuff you can use to make it less visible, though honestly I could not see your scar in your picture. I've had my facial scar for over a year and I have never had anyone ask me about it. Even if they did, I wouldn't care and would tell them what happened. BTW, beating cancer is way better excuse than "Thor hammer to face".

As for your mental health problems, yeah, just go to a doctor. That is what they are there for. No, they probably won't be able to do anything for you, but they will refer you to someone who can.

Cheers for the response. I'm sure I'll get used to the scar, but at the moment it's a little disheartening seeing it every morning... The fact that it's a lot bigger than the melanoma is the thing that annoys me most.

The whole thing is pretty weird. But yeah, I think I'll look into getting some help over my time off from uni.

Sadly, I know exactly how you feel regarding feeling like everyone is looking at and judging you. I have OCD, which I recently got medicated for. It has actually helped me to feel that way MUCH less. I hope you can get the help you need. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

I'm glad the medication is working then! thanks mate.

 

[ronito]

I've had social anxiety and anxiety in general since I was a teenager which has gotten progressively worse over the years. I'm now 23

I feel this has held me back in so many ways and hasn't let me lead the life I wanted to. I struggle maintaining friendships. I often reject invitations to do stuff because of anxiety and when I do accept I can't enjoy myself because of anxiety.

The worst part though is how much it has effected me at university. Most of my lectures are recorded and I don't ever really need to attend classes until exams. My fear of being in social situations and experiencing anxiety leads to me often coming up with excuses not to go university and I justify this by saying I can just listen online at home. Of course there are plenty of distractions at home like games/movies/net so I usually just listen to my lectures in the background while doing something else and not learning anything.

I worry about doing well on my work so much I procrastinate and don't end up doing anything until the last minute. Even though I get very high marks on my assignments I usually hand it in so late I lose the majority of the marks. As exams approach I realize how much work I have to catch up on which just increases my anxiety and leads to my doing less work. I often end up failing or barely passing my subjects even though I'm more than capable of doing the work.

I have sought help from my dr and a counsellor. The university has however has been completely unsupportive and said my anxiety is not a valid excuse. They kicked me out at one point and even suggested that it would help my anxiety (the pricks) though I was able to get back in on an appeal.

Every semester I say I will be different and then i fall back on old habits. I haven't sat any of my exams in the last week and I'm going to the doctor to today pretending to be sick so I can get exempt from my exams.

I know that I really need to change my habits and break this cycle.

That's really incredible that the university is unsupportive. I mean even my university (BYU) allowed people with anxiety to take the tests in private or would work with them. And this is a university that did shock therapy to try and "cure" gays. Shit like this pisses me off. Hang in there man.

 

[Roulette]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.

You'll get a lot of people saying you're not ugly (which is true), but as ronito mentioned, body dysmorphia is a very real thing for a lot of people, so it's how you feel about yourself that matters most.

I have an objectively attractive friend (gym rat, nice face) who claims he has battled with body image issues his whole life. On one hand, it's hard for me to understand because I'm average looking, yet I don't really care how I look to others. For some people, flaws are always there, real or imagined. In your case, I don't really see anything to find fault with. If you genuinely do, you should absolutely discuss with a doctor. That's what they're there for.

 

[Zekes!]

I've had social anxiety and anxiety in general since I was a teenager which has gotten progressively worse over the years. I'm now 23

I feel this has held me back in so many ways and hasn't let me lead the life I wanted to. I struggle maintaining friendships. I often reject invitations to do stuff because of anxiety and when I do accept I can't enjoy myself because of anxiety.

The worst part though is how much it has effected me at university. Most of my lectures are recorded and I don't ever really need to attend classes until exams. My fear of being in social situations and experiencing anxiety leads to me often coming up with excuses not to go university and I justify this by saying I can just listen online at home. Of course there are plenty of distractions at home like games/movies/net so I usually just listen to my lectures in the background while doing something else and not learning anything.

I worry about doing well on my work so much I procrastinate and don't end up doing anything until the last minute. Even though I get very high marks on my assignments I usually hand it in so late I lose the majority of the marks. As exams approach I realize how much work I have to catch up on which just increases my anxiety and leads to my doing less work. I often end up failing or barely passing my subjects even though I'm more than capable of doing the work.

I have sought help from my dr and a counsellor. The university has however has been completely unsupportive and said my anxiety is not a valid excuse. They kicked me out at one point and even suggested that it would help my anxiety (the pricks) though I was able to get back in on an appeal.

Every semester I say I will be different and then i fall back on old habits. I haven't sat any of my exams in the last week and I'm going to the doctor to today pretending to be sick so I can get exempt from my exams.

I know that I really need to change my habits and break this cycle.

That's pretty fucked anon; I know here in Canada (or at least BC), universities and colleges have a specific disability resource centre (anxiety being considered a mental disability) that provide support in cases like yours (and more).

As someone who's dealt with anxiety for a large portion of my life, I'm really disappointed that you're unable to get the support that you need.

 

[ShironRedshift]

^Yeah, especially as someone majoring in psychology right now (though I'd still feel the same way if I weren't) I seriously can't believe a university wouldn't accept, wouldn't work with and would treat a person with valid psychological diagnoses like social anxiety and GAD that way. That's just crazy. Like others have said, please hang in there and do your best, anon. I'm rooting for you.

You'll get a lot of people saying you're not ugly (which is true), but as ronito mentioned, body dysmorphia is a very real thing for a lot of people, so it's how you feel about yourself that matters most.

I have an objectively attractive friend (gym rat, nice face) who claims he has battled with body image issues his whole life. On one hand, it's hard for me to understand because I'm average looking, yet I don't really care how I look to others. For some people, flaws are always there, real or imagined. In your case, I don't really see anything to find fault with. If you genuinely do, you should absolutely discuss with a doctor. That's what they're there for.

Yeah, body dysmorphic disorder is a real disorder and no doctor worth their salt will laugh at you for having it or just dismiss you or anything. I understand it seeming weird due to your concerns, but remember, doctors are there to help. Just go see your GP and be honest and upfront with them and have them refer you to a psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders and cognitive behavioral/exposure therapy. Now, you're GP might unfortunately not exactly understand since unless you're GP happens to be a psychiatrist, they don't have much training in psychology and might not be able to really recognize it (of course, this probably won't happen, but it's possible). However, once you get referred to a psychologist and explain what you're going through, they'll absolutely understand and know how to help, since there are plenty of other people who experience the same thing.

Of course, once you get to that point, they will likely prescribe exposure therapy, forcing you to directly interact with others and in doing so realize that nobody thinks there's anything wrong with your body and thus neither should you and it's just your automatic thoughts that get you to think that there's actually any problem at all, which they'll likely instruct you to monitor and challenge you to replace such thoughts with the correct observation that "no, nobody things there's anything wrong with my body. Everyone's just fine interacting with me. There is nothing wrong with my body and it's only dwelling on this idea that causes problems (the CBT part of the treatment). This will be hard at first, but your psychologist/therapist will be right there working with me and just like them, I know that you'll be able to do this and it will be well worth the effort once you start.

Best of luck! ^_^

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

You need to discuss with her, and I mean really discuss. Not let jealousy or anything get in the way. You don't want to get to a point where you're resentful yet her expectations of you and your relationship can be met. Perhaps there are things you could do together to alleviate your urges.

Just wanted to pipe up and second this advice. Was in a similar (though not identical) situation. At some point in our mid-to-late 20s it stopped mattering to us that neither of us had a lot of outside experience, but it took a while to get there.

 

[StanleyStutters]

I've had social anxiety and anxiety in general since I was a teenager which has gotten progressively worse over the years. I'm now 23

I feel this has held me back in so many ways and hasn't let me lead the life I wanted to. I struggle maintaining friendships. I often reject invitations to do stuff because of anxiety and when I do accept I can't enjoy myself because of anxiety.

The worst part though is how much it has effected me at university. Most of my lectures are recorded and I don't ever really need to attend classes until exams. My fear of being in social situations and experiencing anxiety leads to me often coming up with excuses not to go university and I justify this by saying I can just listen online at home. Of course there are plenty of distractions at home like games/movies/net so I usually just listen to my lectures in the background while doing something else and not learning anything.

I worry about doing well on my work so much I procrastinate and don't end up doing anything until the last minute. Even though I get very high marks on my assignments I usually hand it in so late I lose the majority of the marks. As exams approach I realize how much work I have to catch up on which just increases my anxiety and leads to my doing less work. I often end up failing or barely passing my subjects even though I'm more than capable of doing the work.

I have sought help from my dr and a counsellor. The university has however has been completely unsupportive and said my anxiety is not a valid excuse. They kicked me out at one point and even suggested that it would help my anxiety (the pricks) though I was able to get back in on an appeal.

Every semester I say I will be different and then i fall back on old habits. I haven't sat any of my exams in the last week and I'm going to the doctor to today pretending to be sick so I can get exempt from my exams.

I know that I really need to change my habits and break this cycle.

I'm 23 as well and I can completely relate to this. I also have Social Anxiety and have struggled to form friendships as well as had many issues at school. I attend a community college and before this semester I was never able to handle more than two classes at a time. I'd find myself up all night stressing about the next day, I wouldn't be able to eat anything the entire day and would end up feeling exhausted all through the course.

Your University should help you because an anxiety disorder is a very real thing, they have no right to deny you help. If you have a letter from your doctor I believe the school is obligated to provide help. Whether that be extended time on projects/work or the ability to take tests on your own at a separate time. My school has a Disability Support Service that handles these situations. If you were rejected help by someone other than them, you should contact them ASAP. If they are the ones who denied help, I'm not sure what you can do, but they are completely in the wrong here.

It's good that you are talking with your Dr. and counselor about this. If you haven't tried taking medication yet, I suggest you try. I was very skeptical about medication, and in fact waited nearly two years to fill my subscription, but I'm glad I did. I find school much easier now, and I'm finally able to sleep at night. I still have some issues with anxiety, but I'm in a much better place now.

Hope everything works out for you, Anon.

 

[PKrockin]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

Sent that pic to my sister, asked her "hot or not?" The verdict is you're on the hot side. From my guy perspective you're pretty good in the looks department too. I know it's not that easy but please don't sweat it. Sorry my reassurance is pretty much all I can offer you.

 

[Mike M]

Has the thread devolved into a Hot or Not topic now? Are we swapping pics?

 

[SeroTyler]

Whoops.

 

[Omni]

Has the thread devolved into a Hot or Not topic now? Are we swapping pics?

Sorry. Didn't mean to derail this page with my "confession".

Anywho...

lately my gf and I have been into exploring more sexual stuff. She's admitted that she's really into women -what woman isn't?- but doesn't want to actually explore with another woman but she still has the fantasy. A few weeks ago I saw a post on reddit about how a guy was in the same situation with his gf and what she did was she put a bra and panty on a pillow and she'd "undress" the pillow and hump it while the guy watched.

I don't know why, but I thought it was a good idea. I tell the gf that I have something new planned for her that night. I get a pillow, a normal pillow none of this anime shit and put a bra and some panties on it. My gf was not convinced at first but I told her that I had read it was really fun and hot. She was horny so she went along with it. She felt silly at first but then really got into it. She stripped the bra and panties off the pillow and humped the hell out of the pillow until she had a huge orgasm.

writing about it is hotter than it actually was. It was sorta silly and really unsexy to watch. I really have no desire to do it ever again. But my gf loved it and keeps doing it. I can't say no because I was the one that started the whole thing.

But why a pillow? Surely there are other ways to deal with such a fantasy. I just can't imagine a pillow of all things, hah

 

[dreamcastmaster]

But why a pillow? Surely there are other ways to deal with such a fantasy. I just can't imagine a pillow of all things, hah

Have you seen the price of Realdolls?

 

[YoungHav]

wouldn't it be better if people admitted to crime so that you could report them ron ron?

 

[Mike M]

Sorry. Didn't mean to derail this page with my "confession".

No, you misunderstand. That was my attempt to try and bait GirlGAF to post pictures of themselves.

Spoiler

We are all CreeperGAF, deep down inside.

 

[Lucian Cat]

No, you misunderstand. That was my attempt to try and bait GirlGAF to post pictures of themselves.

Spoiler

We are all CreeperGAF, deep down inside.

That's what the post pics of yourself thread is for!

Spoiler

Each and every one of us

 

[Pau]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

Body/self image issues GAF represent. But I think posting your picture is actually a good step. It's the reason why I frequently use pics as my avatar: to prove to myself that I shouldn't be ashamed of how I look and no one is going to make fun of me for it. (Which, unfortunately, does happen anyways but what can you do.) I think what Ronito said earlier is pretty important too, about how everyone's going to have a different opinion as you can see just by going into any thread featuring a woman and having one guy say she's hideous while another says she's gorgeous.

From an outsider's perspective, it really doesn't seem like anyone would be judging you negatively because of your appearance. I would say that a lot of people would probably judge you positively because of it. However, I understand that it's hard to believe especially when you don't see evidence of it in real life. (Or you see evidence that people do judge you negatively.) At the very least, if you don't reach whatever standard of beauty you have, know that your looks aren't making people stare at you in disgust or anything like that.

I wish I could give some more advice on how to overcome it. Therapy is definitely a good way of going about it, but please don't be afraid of dropping a therapist if they aren't working for you. (My last therapist's solution to my image problems was to tell me to get plastic surgery, heh.) If you're in the United States and have insurance, they probably include mental health and have a database of therapists in your area that are covered. The databases also tend to tell you what the person specializes in, so you'd want to look at self image, body dysmorphia, and self esteem. Likewise, as others have said, talking to your GP is a good idea too since they might be able to refer you to someone faster.

Oh, and cancer scars are awesome! Just means we kicked its ass!

 

[Karkador]

Am I the only Backstreet Boys fan around here? Pfft! Get on my level, damn.

I tried to hide it so that no one knows, but I guess it shows

 

[Professor Beef]

I haven't shown my pic on GAF in a while. Hmm...

 

[Mike M]

I posted my picture on GAF once. Never again.

Spoiler

I wear trilby fedoras. I regret nothing. Except posting the picture in a fedora hate thread.

 

[Vermillion]

I posted my picture on GAF once. Never again.

Spoiler

I wear trilby fedoras. I regret nothing. Except posting the picture in a fedora hate thread.

Fuck the haters

 

[Desperado]

I'm 23 as well and I can completely relate to this. I also have Social Anxiety and have struggled to form friendships as well as had many issues at school. I attend a community college and before this semester I was never able to handle more than two classes at a time. I'd find myself up all night stressing about the next day, I wouldn't be able to eat anything the entire day and would end up feeling exhausted all through the course.

Your University should help you because an anxiety disorder is a very real thing, they have no right to deny you help. If you have a letter from your doctor I believe the school is obligated to provide help. Whether that be extended time on projects/work or the ability to take tests on your own at a separate time. My school has a Disability Support Service that handles these situations. If you were rejected help by someone other than them, you should contact them ASAP. If they are the ones who denied help, I'm not sure what you can do, but they are completely in the wrong here.

It's good that you are talking with your Dr. and counselor about this. If you haven't tried taking medication yet, I suggest you try. I was very skeptical about medication, and in fact waited nearly two years to fill my subscription, but I'm glad I did. I find school much easier now, and I'm finally able to sleep at night. I still have some issues with anxiety, but I'm in a much better place now.

Hope everything works out for you, Anon.

I'm 25, in my 7th(!!) year of undergrad, and struggling very hard right now with anxiety. It's pretty much been a problem all throughout college. Right now I'm so ridiculously far behind in one of my courses, and it's reached the point where I feel like there's no way I could catch up. My professor has been really nice about it but I just feel ashamed that I haven't been able to perform. I have the class tomorrow, and I'm dreading it. I didn't go to the last class.

 

[Jedeye Sniv]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years now, we started dating towards the end of high school. We're both our firsts, and although I do love her very much I can't help but to be bothered with the fact that I might never experience anything sexual with other girls… I'm not looking for a relationship, I love my girlfriend, but I feel that it might become problematic, or maybe not, but it'll probably be a huge regret.

I'm leaving for another country for three months to work and sometimes I start wondering that if I hypothetically hooked up with someone over there, a complete stranger at the other side of the world I'll only see once in my life that I obviously have no interest in pursuing a relationship with (and vice-versa), what makes it so that we would feel remorse? I'd like to make one thing clear, I would never cheat on my girlfriend out of respect. However, given the situation I'm in, I can't help but feel like sometimes the "relationship code" doesn't make sense. Then again, maybe I'm just mad thirsty or something… whatever, needed to vent (mind you I have kinda mentioned my position about this before to my gf, but she doesn't believe you can have sex with someone if you're not in love with that person in the first place).

I'm in roughtly the same position anon, but further on the path. My wife was my first kiss right on through to the other good stuff, we met 13 years ago when I was 17.

IMO, in this unique kind of relationship you REALLY need to be able to be honest with your partner. You're not sexually experienced with anyone else, so you need to be able to share all your thoughts and fears with her, because there's no other outlet for it. Most other people will have multiple partners and so will have had lots of small experiences that will build up to make them the person they are. But people like us, we're building our sexual identity around one person and that has it's own specific challenges.

I think that unless you're 100% sexually compatible and happy, and that's something important to you, then you really need to think about what you want out of life. Me, I'm more than happy, we have a great sex life. But I can certainly imagine being stuck with an unimaginative lover and wondering what else is out there would be very easy to be hung up on.

So my advice is simply to be honest with her about what you want and the things that are worrying you, because the worries will only grow over time if not addressed.

 

[Jedeye Sniv]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

Oh Jesus christ dude, you're damn good looking. Better looking than me (go check the new pics thread for evidence of my fat goofiness) In fact, I'm annoyed that you feel so down on yourself. Man up, go get some pussy you pussy. Even the scar looks cool.

I can't imagine only having sex with just one person all my life. Although when I was with my first girlfriend I could not imagine having sex with anybody else and it feeling that good.

Life goes on and you do meet other people that can also make you feel that good. Having sex with someone new is a great feeling and you'll learn a lot. There's only so much you can learn from one person and you'll soon hit their limits of what they are prepared to do. Nothing kills your libido more than a long term relationship, not matter how attractive your partner is you'll get bored of having the same sex with them sooner or later. Better to regret this things you have done then you haven't.

There's nothing wrong with "the relationship code" but throwing yourself into that without experience when you're young girlfriend/engaged/married/kids and not finding out about other people might not be best for your development.

As for your girlfriend thinking you can't have sex without love. That's how she feels but not everybody needs that. Women need the emotional connection much more than men do.

opinions being such and all that, but you don't know what you're talking about. You will get bored being with one person if you are boring people. I will tell you for a fact that 13 years in we are still discovering new tricks and kinks fairly often.

Your thing is like saying that you would get bored of talking to your wife after a long time. Maybe, but only if one or both of you are dull as fuck.

 

[War Peaceman]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

You are a pretty handsome man. Considerably above the average.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

opinions being such and all that, but you don't know what you're talking about. You will get bored being with one person if you are boring people. I will tell you for a fact that 13 years in we are still discovering new tricks and kinks fairly often.

Your thing is like saying that you would get bored of talking to your wife after a long time. Maybe, but only if one or both of you are dull as fuck.

Sorry what? You seem to have taken my opinion personally as an attack on your relationship. I do know what I'm talking about, horses for courses and all that. I guess you've never experienced the Coolidge effect and anyway you can't have a 3some with just two of you....

 

[Jedeye Sniv]

Sorry what? You seem to have taken my opinion personally as an attack on your relationship. I do know what I'm talking about, horses for courses and all that. I guess you've never experienced the Coolidge effect and anyway you can't have a 3some with just two of you....

Not sure I've heard of the coolidge effect, but I didn't take it personally. All I mean is that if you run out of things to do with a person after less than say 20 years then there is a problem at the core of your relationship, most likely a failure of imagination on behalf of one or both parties. If you stay present and open minded then you will go places in a single LTR that you can't possibly get to with short relationships.

and tbh I do find it slightly offensive when the prevailing wisdom is that people who stay with their first loves are doing it wrong. It's about whatever works for the individuals involved. I don't judge people with many partners or only the one. But I do think people with boring sexlives are wholly to blame for that situation. And, from speaking to my friends about it over the years, it's the stupider and more boring people that have trouble making it work in the long term.

 

[Denzar]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years now, we started dating towards the end of high school. We're both our firsts, and although I do love her very much I can't help but to be bothered with the fact that I might never experience anything sexual with other girls… I'm not looking for a relationship, I love my girlfriend, but I feel that it might become problematic, or maybe not, but it'll probably be a huge regret.

I'm leaving for another country for three months to work and sometimes I start wondering that if I hypothetically hooked up with someone over there, a complete stranger at the other side of the world I'll only see once in my life that I obviously have no interest in pursuing a relationship with (and vice-versa), what makes it so that we would feel remorse? I'd like to make one thing clear, I would never cheat on my girlfriend out of respect. However, given the situation I'm in, I can't help but feel like sometimes the "relationship code" doesn't make sense. Then again, maybe I'm just mad thirsty or something… whatever, needed to vent (mind you I have kinda mentioned my position about this before to my gf, but she doesn't believe you can have sex with someone if you're not in love with that person in the first place).

Dude, I have been in the exact same position.

I spent 3 years with my first (first everything, even kiss) until I was 22. We broke up. Now, during those 3 years I wanted to fuck every hot girl I met but I didn't because of you know, respect.

We decided to break up and that is the best decision I made in my entire life.

Going by what you said, you just don't want the strings attached to a relationship anymore. It's best you talk this through with your girlfriend.

In my opinion, it's also best you break up. It's just not a healthy mindset to have when you're in a 4 year relationship.

EDIT to prevent double post:

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

Dude, I'm hetero but I can even tell you are a good looking dude. I'd totally wingman you and be jealous because you'd go home with a very attractive lady.

And do not worry about that scar, I think it adds personality to your face.

 

[Like the hat?]

I'm terrified of heights and if I could do anything in the world it would be to have that fear go away.

Edit randomrosso you are a handsome dude, for real.

 

[shanshan310]

I'm 23 as well and I can completely relate to this. I also have Social Anxiety and have struggled to form friendships as well as had many issues at school. I attend a community college and before this semester I was never able to handle more than two classes at a time. I'd find myself up all night stressing about the next day, I wouldn't be able to eat anything the entire day and would end up feeling exhausted all through the course.

Your University should help you because an anxiety disorder is a very real thing, they have no right to deny you help. If you have a letter from your doctor I believe the school is obligated to provide help. Whether that be extended time on projects/work or the ability to take tests on your own at a separate time. My school has a Disability Support Service that handles these situations. If you were rejected help by someone other than them, you should contact them ASAP. If they are the ones who denied help, I'm not sure what you can do, but they are completely in the wrong here.

It's good that you are talking with your Dr. and counselor about this. If you haven't tried taking medication yet, I suggest you try. I was very skeptical about medication, and in fact waited nearly two years to fill my subscription, but I'm glad I did. I find school much easier now, and I'm finally able to sleep at night. I still have some issues with anxiety, but I'm in a much better place now.

Hope everything works out for you, Anon.

I feel like recently my anxiety issues are getting worse too. I don't avoid social interaction because I'm horribly afraid of losing friends, but then because I'm afraid I end up saying dumb things when I'm around them, or get nervous and can't think of anything to say at all, which is even worse. And I get physically shaky so it's really obvious and people are always asking about it. If I have a shift at work coming up I can't relax all day worrying about it. I'd like to go see a specialist or something but I'm really nervous.

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

Well, first of all there's nothing wrong with being introverted and I don't think people would see it as you being uninterested or rude. When I'm getting self conscious about things I try to think about how people probably don't care half as much as I think they do. Having someone I trust also helps me open up to new people.
Also, my heart actually skipped a beat when I opened the pictures. You're a good looking guy, didn't even notice the scar.

Not sure I've heard of the coolidge effect, but I didn't take it personally. All I mean is that if you run out of things to do with a person after less than say 20 years then there is a problem at the core of your relationship, most likely a failure of imagination on behalf of one or both parties. If you stay present and open minded then you will go places in a single LTR that you can't possibly get to with short relationships.

and tbh I do find it slightly offensive when the prevailing wisdom is that people who stay with their first loves are doing it wrong. It's about whatever works for the individuals involved. I don't judge people with many partners or only the one. But I do think people with boring sexlives are wholly to blame for that situation. And, from speaking to my friends about it over the years, it's the stupider and more boring people that have trouble making it work in the long term.

Completely agree with everything you said. Completely over the notion that being with one person makes you boring.

To the guy who sent the thing in, talk to your GF. If you are going abroad maybe you can talk to her about going open for the period you're away. No relationship ruining sneaking around involved. She might even be thinking the same thing.

 

[marrec]

I'm terrified of heights and if I could do anything in the world it would be to have that fear go away.

Edit randomrosso you are a handsome dude, for real.

What's the fear based on? And how high? I used to be kind of afraid of heights (not terrified, by any means) and then I took a job maintaining and constructing wind turbines. It taught me to have a healthy fear of heights and to be tied off anywhere above 6ft.

Seriously though, that job made me even more terrified of heights. I can't even clean out the gutters anymore without being worried that I'm not in a harness.

 

[StanleyStutters]

I feel like recently my anxiety issues are getting worse too. I don't avoid social interaction because I'm horribly afraid of losing friends, but then because I'm afraid I end up saying dumb things when I'm around them, or get nervous and can't think of anything to say at all, which is even worse. And I get physically shaky so it's really obvious and people are always asking about it. If I have a shift at work coming up I can't relax all day worrying about it. I'd like to go see a specialist or something but I'm really nervous.

I have the same issues with all-day stress before something is coming up. I went through a really rough time for about a year where I had difficulty hanging out with people I've known for years. Even something as simple as taking my dog for a walk was difficult for me. I know how difficult it can be to get help, but if you want to see a specialist I think it's worth a shot. I went through countless therapists/psychiatrists before I found one that really worked for me. It's very frustrating at times, but believe once you find someone who can really help you all the failed attempts are completely worth it.

I'm 25, in my 7th(!!) year of undergrad, and struggling very hard right now with anxiety. It's pretty much been a problem all throughout college. Right now I'm so ridiculously far behind in one of my courses, and it's reached the point where I feel like there's no way I could catch up. My professor has been really nice about it but I just feel ashamed that I haven't been able to perform. I have the class tomorrow, and I'm dreading it. I didn't go to the last class.

This is pretty much what I've gone through with my courses, and it has caused me to drop quite a few. That dread is just the worst. I would feel it all night before the class and I just couldn't shake it. You should try talking to someone about your anxiety (if you're not already). If you are talking to someone you should also try contacting your college about your situation. Your school's disability services should be able to help you. You can get extra time on work and you could even take tests at a separate time, so you won't have to be around everyone when you take it.

 

[Snkfanatic]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

You are a great looking guy, it may not help coming from me (straight male) but I don't think you should worry about anything regarding your looks and I am being completely honest here.

 

[flippedb]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

You look good. Don't worry so much about it.

 

[Like the hat?]

What's the fear based on? And how high? I used to be kind of afraid of heights (not terrified, by any means) and then I took a job maintaining and constructing wind turbines. It taught me to have a healthy fear of heights and to be tied off anywhere above 6ft.

Seriously though, that job made me even more terrified of heights. I can't even clean out the gutters anymore without being worried that I'm not in a harness.

I can't even get like 6 feet off the ground without panic setting in. It's weird though, it's only on stuff like ladders, and outside is a lot worse than inside. I can climb a ladder in my house pretty much fine, but do it outside? Nope. But if I can get on the roof or whatever and have solid footing, I'm fine. It's just getting up there.

Sucks because I really need to get out there and clean the gutters, and hang Christmas lights soon.

 

[soepje]

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

You look good man! I´ve had some self image issues in the past, so i can somewhat relate to what you are going through. I agree that it can really fuck with your day to day life.
Like you i also got scared of being judged, someone would just have to look in my direction and i'd right away get super self conscious and assume the worst. It makes it very easy to just want to go and hide, but listen to Ronito, he's right. People aren't constantly judging you on your looks, and you don´t have to impress everyone by looking awesome. Most people you meet couldn´t care less. Once i realized that it got way easier. It was a big eyeopener to find out i was just way more harsh on myself then i was on anyone else i met. It really helped me put things in perspective.
Now i still get insecure every now and then, but i don´t hide or avoid. Wish you the best man!

 

[EsotericManiac]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

dude, you're fine. you're above average. well above, actually.

if you want to work on your confidence, work out or something. seeing the effects after a few months can really boost your confidence and ego.

invest in a wardrobe. having clothes that make you FEEL good will give the impression you're going for.

more important than anything, stop fearing rejection or making decisions based on that fear. hearing a "no" really isn't a big deal.

 

[Nealand Liquor]

Just wanted to address the guy who thinks he's ugly. I feel the same way eventhough I get told how good looking I am and hit on by women almost every day. The thing is I don't see it and more importantly don't feel it. I was attacked by 15 guys one night and beaten to a pulp with bats and other weapons, ultimately hospitalized for days. Though even before this I never liked the look of my face, I thought I look too 'froggish' (you know, like a frog lol). Obviously getting my face rearranged did me no favors in respect to my self-esteem.
The reason I'm posting this is to let you know you're not alone, and let yourself believe the compliments you received itt, even if a part of you doesn't. Focus on those comments and let yourself enjoy them. I am incredibly lucky, as I said earlier I get hit on all the time. If it wasn't for that, I honestly can't imagine how bad I feel about myself. I know me well enough to know I'd never want to leave the house. It's hard to believe when what you see in yourself is different from what you hear from others.

PM me if you need to talk. I know how it feels.

 

[ClassyPenguin]

I feel like recently my anxiety issues are getting worse too. I don't avoid social interaction because I'm horribly afraid of losing friends, but then because I'm afraid I end up saying dumb things when I'm around them, or get nervous and can't think of anything to say at all, which is even worse. And I get physically shaky so it's really obvious and people are always asking about it. If I have a shift at work coming up I can't relax all day worrying about it. I'd like to go see a specialist or something but I'm really nervous.

I'd say go do it as soon as possible. I tried to handle it myself for years until that led to an inevitable crash. It got to the point of avoiding things like job interviews and even hanging out with friends. No fun.

 

[tycoonheart]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

I just came to say that you're a good looking dude. No reason to feel ugly what so ever.

 

[Newline]

Screw it, that confession was mine.

Where do you go to get professional help? I've never really known. Do I just talk to my doctor about it? That always seemed... weird. Like he'd just think I'm bitching or something and not take me seriously.


Mmm. I really just don't have any confidence at all these days... It's frustrating. All I can think about when meeting new people is how they're judging me because of how I look - Which tends to make me come off extremely introverted and rude. Like this semester in English... throughout semester only one person really bothered to talk to me. And because of the way I think, I avoided her as much as possible (When I saw her after class, I'd pretend that I didn't and walk in the other direction. In class, I'd sit on the other side of the room as much as possible because I didn't want her to judge me).

and I'll probably regret this... but I've linked a picture to show what I look like below in email tags. The scar is new because I had a melanoma and shows up a fair bit in certain light conditions. the first image is one I took today (I've had only 2 hours sleep) and the second is a few weeks ago. Different lighting conditions, but I think they represent how I look.

Slightly disappointed by this, you're a good looking guy!
The way you talk I was expecting something crazy, your face is fine, go sort out your mind. Professional help man, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Oh and about the people staring at you thing, you're self conscious so you're staring at people a hell of alot more than the average person. Don't you ever think when you are nervous and thus scouting everyone out that it might make you look a little irregular? The more your eyes are flitting around the room, the more people will look at you.

 

[Cromat]

It seems that you've already edited out the links but judging from the responses you're clearly nowhere near hideous. Some people might find that surprising but I've know people who were deeply insecure about their appearance despite being clearly above average and clearly the target of flirting (which they didn't notice).

edit: got it now, yeah you're not ugly in any way. not even average probably.