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Penny Arcade's Gabe (Mike) apologizes for being a bully.

I call bullshit on that whole "apology"

Saying "I was bullied as a kid and that made me an asshole, I'm sorry I'm an asshole" is NOT some deeply self reflective and heartfelt apology for being a homophobic, transphobic overall piece of shit. I don't see a single line in that entire thing that identifies the wrongs he's committed, why they're wrongs and why he's sorry for them. It's all surface and rings completely hollow.
 
I call bullshit on that whole "apology"

Saying "I was bullied as a kid and that made me an asshole, I'm sorry I'm an asshole" is NOT some deeply self reflective and heartfelt apology for being a homophobic, transphobic overall piece of shit. I don't see a single line in that entire thing that identifies the wrongs he's committed, why they're wrongs and why he's sorry for them. It's all surface and rings completely hollow.

Really?

"I may have been the one who got beat up but I sent plenty of kids home in tears. I also realize that I carried those ridiculous insecurities into adulthood. I still see people who attack me as the enemy and I strike back with the same ferocity as that seventh grader I used to be. I’m ashamed of that and embarrassed. The crazy thing is I don’t even necessarily believe the stuff I say a lot of times. It would probably be more noble if I did. The truth is I just say them to be mean. I say them because I know they will hurt. It’s pretty fucked up."

I'm just going to politely point out here that there's a reasonable expectation for people to have actually read the entirety of an OP before posting in a thread. There are valid reasons to be suspicious of the apology and the actual commitment on the part of the person to make it to change, up to and including:

1. Not thinking that it is sincere.

2. Not thinking that it was made for the correct reasons.

3. Not thinking the person making it is capable of meaningful changes in their behavior based on prior examples.

4. Not feeling that the person making the apology should continue to have an outlet for their behavior even if they are sincere.

That's four off the top of my head. Four perfectly good reasons you could cite as to why you're going to continue hating the guy and completely ignore his apology. You instead manage to thread the needle and find the one completely invalid complaint to levy against him amidst an entire field of easy targets. Bravo!

Protip: This is the part where you double-down on it because you don't want to admit you didn't read the entire thing and had a knee-jerk reaction based on the portion you did read, insisting that your opinion is right and people who disagree with you need to accept your right to hold and express your opinions regardless of whether or not they find them irrational or insulting. Bonus points if you can do so with no apparent recognition of the irony.
 
I used to love PA. I set their comics as my wallpaper, I'd quote them even when I was around no one who would understand, I bought their books, and I even styled my hair after Gabe (not Mike) in high school. But man, Mike messed up SO badly this year that I've been ashamed of how much of a fan I used to be.

I'm glad he wrote this because it helps me understand Mike a bit better, but I'm looking forward to when he actully becomes better and not just that he wants to be better.

I feel bad for Jerry.
Ilúvatar;95549728 said:
Everyone is shitty to someone at at least one point in their life. I don't think we need to rake people over the coals for every minute thing.
This is true too. Of course Mike did it multiple times. Still, I've done things I truly regret and am glad I'm not famous enough to have them held against me.
 

Authority

Banned
He is such a fucking media whore attention seeker.

It is like he tried to be the Family Guy with this "You got raped, get over it" bullshit attitude and since then he has been making apologies after apologies.

And I highly doubt he is an asshole. He is just extremely stupid to think he could get away with such a disgusting publicity stun relating rape. Most assholes I meant are just blatantly honest but still can draw a fine line between going overboard and going under.

And also regarding the whole "I was raised like this" argument someone tell him that we just entered 2014 and that excuse doesn't work anymore.

What makes him really stupid beyond comprehension is the fact the he knew hundred percent of what was going on and still didn't pull of the plug because he believed that his delusional tasteless humor/sarcasm would jump back and be appreciated.

How you were raised up is irrelevant after a certain age because simply after that, you have got choice (s), individual choice (s) and it is up to you whether you want to be responsible or not for your own actions.
 
Whatever, dude's always been an asshole, and he knew it. It's funny when it's about shit that doesn't matter or when it's deserved. Like he said it's part of why he is (was) a good comedian. I don't think he has to stop, in general.

I find it super hard to believe that's he's incapable of determining if his assholism is intersecting with offensive ignorance to a misunderstood minority. I don't think they're really the same thing at all. He's well off and probably surrounded by informed people. Just educate yourself and think a little before broadcasting to the world whatever 'joke' is on your mind. I guess it's good he managed to get outside the sycophantic PA audience to realize that some of the shit he might say isn't okay.

(I remember him making fun of Tycho for visitng or frequenting a feminist web site. So honestly his ignorance didn't surprise me, but I figured he could filter a little bit. It's not like he had a Justine Sacco style twitter situtaion)
 

V_Arnold

Member
I support him fully on this. The good they did with PA way overweights any kind of bad his stance and/or behavior might mean to others. Vastly.

It takes courage to write these things down. It takes courage to admit it to yourself. I know it: i have been through the same journey a few years ago. Not even sure if I won or if my ego learnt to hide his insecurities from myself better. Maybe both.
 
Curious that this 'apology' contains one use of the word "sorry" and it's in the context of apparent apologies he claims to have already made.

It's good that he's at least acknowledging his dickish behaviour, but I don't really see an apology there, just a realisation that he needs to change his ways. Which I guess is some kind of progress.
 

V_Arnold

Member
Curious that this 'apology' contains one use of the word "sorry" and it's in the context of apparent apologies he claims to have already made.

It's good that he's at least acknowledging his dickish behaviour, but I don't really see an apology there, just a realisation that he needs to change his ways. Which I guess is some kind of progress.

Because it is a resolution, not an apology.
 

Pie and Beans

Look for me on the local news, I'll be the guy arrested for trying to burn down a Nintendo exec's house.
Good on Gabe, hopefully he engages the brain to mouth ratio more in the future.

Now however and terribly ironically is when the "other side" gets to reveal themselves as just what he was describing himself as: people with bitter streaks just looking for outrage to buzz around and giants to topple because they perceive themselves as warriors of righteousness.
 
D

Deleted member 30609

Unconfirmed Member
It seems like he's taking responsibility for his own actions, that's a good first step.
 
Really?

"I may have been the one who got beat up but I sent plenty of kids home in tears. I also realize that I carried those ridiculous insecurities into adulthood. I still see people who attack me as the enemy and I strike back with the same ferocity as that seventh grader I used to be. I’m ashamed of that and embarrassed. The crazy thing is I don’t even necessarily believe the stuff I say a lot of times. It would probably be more noble if I did. The truth is I just say them to be mean. I say them because I know they will hurt. It’s pretty fucked up."

I'm just going to politely point out here that there's a reasonable expectation for people to have actually read the entirety of an OP before posting in a thread. There are valid reasons to be suspicious of the apology and the actual commitment on the part of the person to make it to change, up to and including:

1. Not thinking that it is sincere.

2. Not thinking that it was made for the correct reasons.

3. Not thinking the person making it is capable of meaningful changes in their behavior based on prior examples.

4. Not feeling that the person making the apology should continue to have an outlet for their behavior even if they are sincere.

That's four off the top of my head. Four perfectly good reasons you could cite as to why you're going to continue hating the guy and completely ignore his apology. You instead manage to thread the needle and find the one completely invalid complaint to levy against him amidst an entire field of easy targets. Bravo!

Protip: This is the part where you double-down on it because you don't want to admit you didn't read the entire thing and had a knee-jerk reaction based on the portion you did read, insisting that your opinion is right and people who disagree with you need to accept your right to hold and express your opinions regardless of whether or not they find them irrational or insulting. Bonus points if you can do so with no apparent recognition of the irony.

Not only did I read the fucking post but how in the shit does saying "I don’t even necessarily believe the stuff I say a lot of times. It would probably be more noble if I did. The truth is I just say them to be mean. I say them because I know they will hurt. do what I described in my post as the bare fucking minimum that is required for an apology that isn't purely self centered, hollow and superficial. What exactly about the things you say "just to be mean" makes them so? For example are you saying you're not transphobic when supposedly apologizing for being transphobic without a single shred of evidence or action to back it up? Demonstrate understanding of the problem people fucking have with your behavior.

What a load of shit. Not fucking good enough.
 
I get the feeling MickeyKnox was the bully at school, and not the one bullied
scared.png
 
For example are you saying you're not transphobic when supposedly apologizing for being transphobic without a single shred of evidence or action to back it up?

What a load of shit. Not fucking good enough.

Will you stop using that word? You are completely trivializing it by doing this. Transphobic is someone saying, "I don't want my kids to meet a transgender person because it might give them ideas." Transphobic is someone saying, "I refuse to work with transgender people because what they do goes against God." Transphobic is when someone says, "Transgendered individuals should not have the same rights as everyone else because what they do is unnatural and immoral."

The guy was ignorant and insensitive. There are words we have for these things other than "transphobic" that are entirely appropriate when someone espouses views or displays such behavior. There is a difference between people who are simply ignorant of issues transgender individuals face and people who are actively opposed to others being transgendered.

You are within your rights to hate the guy and to believe that his resolution to change is meaningless. The fact of the matter is, though, that he did identify the problem: that he was saying things that were intentionally hurtful to people based on self-justifications that were not valid. That is the most accurate assessment of the problems he was creating that anyone could really expect.

What do you want him to say? What is your ideal resolution? If the answer is, "Nothing, there's no way that piece of shit could say anything to change my mind about him with the way he's acted!" then why were you bothering to critique the content and delivery of his message to begin with?
 

Vagabundo

Member
hmm.

if I learned something from my 30+ year of life, is that man don't change, unless some kind of divine intervention struck him.

Yeah.

If I've learned anything over the course of my life is that people can, and do very often, change in surprising ways. Even those I've thought completely stuck in their ways.
 
Well, that is their twist on it, not surprisingly: Kotaku likes drama, and you cant sell drama with "Resolutions" - which is the title of the blogpost on the Penny Arcade page.

Sure. Hence me separating my thoughts on it being reported as such and my thoughts on the post itself.

It's interesting, though, that he still seems incapable of actually saying "I'm sorry". This can basically be summarised as "here's a bunch of reasons why I did/said all this stuff but I realise now that's no excuse." Like I said, it represents a kind of progress, but I can't blame people for wanting a little more.
 
Great post, Imperfected. Like the saying goes, "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

It's interesting, though, that he still seems incapable of actually saying "I'm sorry".
Well, he's actually said sorry on multiple occasions, but also in this post:

From the post:
I have every intention of taking the things I’ve learned this year to heart and changing. I’ve said I’m sorry for the things I’ve said but I’ve never apologized for who I am. I need to separate the busted kid from the man I am now.

It's more than a simple "sorry" -- the implication here is that he's apologizing for being a bully. The whole post is about why he thinks he is the way he is, that he recognizes what he is, that he knows it is awful and that he wants to change.
 

Nephtis

Member
Will you stop using that word? You are completely trivializing it by doing this. Transphobic is someone saying, "I don't want my kids to meet a transgender person because it might give them ideas." Transphobic is someone saying, "I refuse to work with transgender people because what they do goes against God." Transphobic is when someone says, "Transgendered individuals should not have the same rights as everyone else because what they do is unnatural and immoral."

The guy was ignorant and insensitive. There are words we have for these things other than "transphobic" that are entirely appropriate when someone espouses views or displays such behavior. There is a difference between people who are simply ignorant of issues transgender individuals face and people who are actively opposed to others being transgendered.

You are within your rights to hate the guy and to believe that his resolution to change is meaningless. The fact of the matter is, though, that he did identify the problem: that he was saying things that were intentionally hurtful to people based on self-justifications that were not valid. That is the most accurate assessment of the problems he was creating that anyone could really expect.

What do you want him to say? What is your ideal resolution? If the answer is, "Nothing, there's no way that piece of shit could say anything to change my mind about him with the way he's acted!" then why were you bothering to critique the content and delivery of his message to begin with?

This. So, so so much this.

Especially your first paragraph. There's a lot of people that enjoy overusing that word because of the stigma it carries, and because they feel they are above the person they're putting down. So many of these people have said far more reprehensible things than Mike ever could.

And it's fucking depressing, because there's so many other people out there who need to be called out on their BS.
 
Well, he's actually said sorry on multiple occasions, but also in this post

Citation needed. I've read apologies from him before, and it's usually along the lines of "sorry you were offended", which isn't the same.

From the post:

That's not an apology either. That's merely him saying he's apologised in the past, which, as I've said, I have some issues with.
 
Personally I have no qualms with Penny Arcade. I get that their (and when I refer to "they" I mostly Gabe and Tycho) sense of humor may not appeal to everyone and I get that they sometimes say things which seem or are inappropriate and offensive but I think that collectively we get hung up too much on some of their worst moments and we're too quick on pulling the "you're dead to me" trigger.

I don't get this preconceived notion that a lot of people seem to have that just because someone is successful or famous in their line of work it means that they should act a certain way or show an increased level of maturity and respond in a stone-cold manner.

Whereas with some celebrities we'll treasure and celebrate their honesty and down-to-earthness, like Jennifer Lawrence's, in some other situations like Penny-Arcade's we'll almost outright demonise them for isolated moments of unadulterated honesty.

I don't think that anyone is perfect: not Tycho, not Gabe, certainly not me and I reckon certainly none of us are, the only difference between the arguments you might have with a random person on the internet and them is that they are giving their public face away and they are mostly honest about it. Warts and all, it's who they are. Whereas that random person you disagree with on some form can ignore you completely and move on, every word they say falls under public scrutiny. Modern social websites are tools that can help bring a lot of good, but are ultimately used many times as places to hold public lynchings against individuals or companies.

Ultimately I think that Penny Arcade has been very good for games and gamers over the years. When interest in consumer-based gaming expos was withering, they helped revive it with PAX, when gaming journalism was under a lot of scrutiny and criticism they tried to make a new game site with more proper reporting. They also founded Child's Play and have helped various artists over the years. I don't think if they were as bad as some people imply they are, as a whole, they'd dedicate themselves so hard to gaming.

I don't think that their good deeds excuse their worst actions, but they're just people like you and I. The only difference, to me, is the magnifying glass over their heads.
 
Dudes a manipulative turd, so there's nothing to trust from this apology as it's just trying to not tarnish his brands profitability.
 
Will you stop using that word? You are completely trivializing it by doing this. Transphobic is someone saying, "I don't want my kids to meet a transgender person because it might give them ideas." Transphobic is someone saying, "I refuse to work with transgender people because what they do goes against God." Transphobic is when someone says, "Transgendered individuals should not have the same rights as everyone else because what they do is unnatural and immoral."

The guy was ignorant and insensitive. There are words we have for these things other than "transphobic" that are entirely appropriate when someone espouses views or displays such behavior. There is a difference between people who are simply ignorant of issues transgender individuals face and people who are actively opposed to others being transgendered.

You are within your rights to hate the guy and to believe that his resolution to change is meaningless. The fact of the matter is, though, that he did identify the problem: that he was saying things that were intentionally hurtful to people based on self-justifications that were not valid. That is the most accurate assessment of the problems he was creating that anyone could really expect.

What do you want him to say? What is your ideal resolution? If the answer is, "Nothing, there's no way that piece of shit could say anything to change my mind about him with the way he's acted!" then why were you bothering to critique the content and delivery of his message to begin with?
What do I want him to say? Well from what his past actions define him as, how about we start with a thorough and itemized break down of what his social and moral values really are, lay it all out. From there, demonstrate an understanding of what exactly makes his past actions hurtful and explain why exactly they aren't valid. Anything short of that reads as superficial.

That's not even touching on his actions going forward.

Jesus, man. Would it help you feel better if he self-flagellated and rolled around in some lemon juice, too?

It would make me think he needs serious psychiatric help, and what a ridiculous assertion it is to equate that with asking for someone who has absolutely ZERO credibility or benefit of the doubt to put some fucking work into a supposedly heartfelt and introspective written apology.
 

WanderingWind

Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
What do I want him to say? Well from what his past actions define him as, how about we start with a thorough and itemized break down of what his social and moral values really are, lay it all out. From there, demonstrate an understanding of what exactly makes his past actions hurtful and explain why exactly they aren't valid. Anything short of that reads as superficial.

That's not even touching on his actions going forward.

Jesus, man. Would it help you feel better if he self-flagellated and rolled around in some lemon juice, too?
 

Trojita

Rapid Response Threadmaker
PR firms will tell you the first thing you do when you set out for an "apology tour" is to paint yourself as the victim. It's what Paula Deen did.

He sounds like an absolute sociopath. I wouldn't want to have met him if back in middle school he was already seething with hatred so strong that he was calculating in his insults.

If he changes, it is for the better and I would congratulate him, but I would need to see some proof outside of this writeup.
 

Manu

Member
PR firms will tell you the first thing you do when you set out for an "apology tour" is to paint yourself as the victim. It's what Paula Deen did.

It's a good thing that's not what he's doing then.

Can't people read? He's saying "I had a rough childhood. I thought that excused me. It doesn't. I'm a fucking bully."
 
PR firms will tell you the first thing you do when you set out for an "apology tour" is to paint yourself as the victim. It's what Paula Deen did.

He sounds like an absolute sociopath. I wouldn't want to have met him if back in middle school he was already seething with hatred so strong that he was calculating in his insults.

If he changes, it is for the better and I would congratulate him, but I would need to see some proof outside of this writeup.

He seems like a sociopath because he makes politically incorrect jokes in his politically incorrect cartoon? You guys are too much...
 

V_Arnold

Member
It's a good thing that's not what he's doing then.

Can't people read? He's saying "I had a rough childhood. I thought that excused me. It doesn't. I'm a fucking bully."

"Not fucking good enough.", said internet poster in response to this resolution that was posted on the PA's own site.

In other news: people read what they want to read, no matter what the actual words might mean behind that wall of text.
 

Trojita

Rapid Response Threadmaker
It's a good thing that's not what he's doing then.

Can't people read? He's saying "I had a rough childhood. I thought that excused me. It doesn't. I'm a fucking bully."

It isn't exactly the same thing. Paula Deen wouldn't admit she is a racist, I'll give you that. I do applaud him for recognizing that he has been an asshole, that is the first step.

He seems like a sociopath because he makes politically incorrect jokes in his politically incorrect cartoon? You guys are too much...

Yeah sure that is the only reason why.
 

Jintor

Member
We've been through this apology cycle enough times that, while I'm glad he's making a statement and expression of intent to deal with it, it's really not enough. He's just got to never put his foot wrong again at this point to convince me. That's okay though. Child's Play is good stuff. PAX is, by and large, good stuff. Just... don't fuck up again. Please.
 

Nephtis

Member
We've been through this apology cycle enough times that, while I'm glad he's making a statement and expression of intent to deal with it, it's really not enough. He's just got to never put his foot wrong again at this point to convince me. That's okay though. Child's Play is good stuff. PAX is, by and large, good stuff. Just... don't fuck up again. Please.

It's not like he's not starting to take a step in the right direction. These 'diversity lounges' (or whatever they'll be called) are interesting to say the least. If things go well, this could be a huge boon for a lot of people.

A lot of people keep saying "it's not enough, it's not enough", but remember this: they didn't have to do any of the other hugely positive things they are doing. I honestly believe they will actually take action and not just give empty promises.

And with everything good that's come out of PA, Mike's been a part of.
 

megalowho

Member
I gave up on PA after that silly kickstarter deal.
Same, lost a bunch of respect from me. And then they went in for another round of fan fundraising less than a year later. That company has a few strikes against them aside from one of the founders admitting he's an asshole.
 

Jintor

Member
It's not like he's not starting to take a step in the right direction. These 'diversity lounges' (or whatever they'll be called) are interesting to say the least. If things go well, this could be a huge boon for a lot of people.

A lot of people keep saying "it's not enough, it's not enough", but remember this: they didn't have to do any of the other hugely positive things they are doing. I honestly believe they will actually take action and not just give empty promises.

And with everything good that's come out of PA, Mike's been a part of.

I just think all the positive stuff is so easily overshadowed by the missteps, and it's so easy not to take the missteps if you really believe in the positive stuff that you're doing!
 
It took me a while to catch up on all of this: I was aware of 'dickwolves'; I was not aware of the years of sniping and scratching the wound that PA appear to have done.

I guess my issue is not the apology, which I think is heartfelt and sincere, but that Krahulik thinks his problem is that he's a sarcastic bully. I mean, he does seem to be... but the real problem is he's deliberately and persistently ignorant about why his comics and comments have been so offensive to so many.

It's not that you're 'mean', Mike, it's that you have a narrow, limited worldview that denies the experiences of people not like you and in fact finds humor in the things that afflict them.
 

Metrotab

Banned
Why does he even bother? Nothing he says will ever appease the social justice mob around him. Anything he does is picked apart to reveal he is still a "true bigot" inside, like with those diversity chambers (Segregation! Jim Crow!), and he deserves eternal scorn. Too bad none of them will ever apologize.

He's making it all about himself?! It's not called introspection for nothing.
 

Authority

Banned
"Not fucking good enough.", said internet poster in response to this resolution that was posted on the PA's own site.

In other news: people read what they want to read, no matter what the actual words might mean behind that wall of text.

Are you so fucking blind or are you trying to create a shitstorm here?

PR at its finest,

PENNY-660x330.jpg


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RE_Player

Member
Lost respect for PA years ago. Hopefully he is genuine and moves forward with this type of attititude but it also may be a New Year thing, where everyone reflects upon themselves, and in a month he'll be back to his usual self.
 

Vice

Member
It's a good thing that's not what he's doing then.

Can't people read? He's saying "I had a rough childhood. I thought that excused me. It doesn't. I'm a fucking bully."

That's what everyone does when they start apologizing.

"I don't hate black people. I was raised in a different time. But, that doesn't excuse . . ."
"I don't hate gay people. I was raised in a different time, But, that doesn;t excuse . . ."
 

Pie and Beans

Look for me on the local news, I'll be the guy arrested for trying to burn down a Nintendo exec's house.
Are you so fucking blind or are you trying to create a shitstorm here?

PR at its finest,

PENNY-660x330.jpg


tumblr_lfybqfn7L11qfjiio-300x138.png


tumblr_lfyb9lxuM91qfjiio.png

When winding up an arrow to fire at PA, you want it to be about Gabe's total ignorance over trans issues and not the absolutely ridiculous dickwolves controversy. Gabe reacting to people suggesting he supported "rape culture" with withering sarcasm didn't seem particularly out of sorts to me at all. It was a circus of escalating nonsensical outrage.
 

Zoc

Member
What is good enough as a matter of interest? I'm curious to know what sort of Mea Culpa you're prepared to accept.

How about actually apologizing to specific people for the specific hate-filled things he said? He said "sorry" but he didn't even say what he was sorry for.
 

Manu

Member
How about actually apologizing to specific people for the specific hate-filled things he said? He said "sorry" but he didn't even say what he was sorry for.

Because he did that already, several times. Now he's identifying the root of the problem.

Baby steps.
 
Is this an apology or a sob story to make me feel bad for him?

Yeah, this. "I know I sometimes act like a cunt, but it's only because I was bullied as a kid!"

Don't fucking care. If you had a rough time at school 20 years ago, that's no excuse to act like a dick when you're an adult.

Good on him for acknowledging this and trying to change, but it's too heavy on the 'boo hoo woe is me' self pity.
 

Camwi

Member
Actually this is the closest to a real apology for his behavior in the last year that he's ever come. He even admits as much, that he said "sorry" in the past but it was in a way that says "I'm sorry you got mad but well, I'm not going to change so deal with it".

This reads more like "this is why I'm an asshole , in the past I was sorry but not sorry. Now I would really like to change that because it's effecting everyone else in my life and I'm 36 years old , time to try and grow up, it won't be easy but I'm going to try"

The way he describes his behavior doesn't surprise me at all, it's why I don't think he was actually a bigot or a homophobe or any other thing like that. He simply gets pushed into a corner very easily because a shitty childhood and goes on a defensive warpath. He felt this was okay for most of his life because he couldn't physically fight back but clearly, he is starting to realize that saying bigoted and homophobic things may cause people to think you are a bigot or a homophobe instead of simply an asshole. It's a step forward, the fact that he can merely admit he's in the wrong , finally, is a huge sign of progress actually.

Now here's hoping in the new year that we have no future controversies, he's had his 3 strikes and for many he's out. Let the road to recovery begin.

This post is a good translation for people who still don't get it.
 
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