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Should I let my new girlfriend move in with me?

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S

speculawyer

Member
bill0527 said:
I did this once except it was a co-worker who I started dating. I let her move in with me after a couple of months and the bitch stole from me and on the day she packed her shit and left she cleaned out my piggy bank and stole my fucking laundry detergent.
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That is a good summary of life in general.
 
E

eudaemonic

Member
Katzii said:
So I'd say to go with what feels right for you, but definitely to make sure you set ground rules and not just pander to her every whim, else she'll expect it from you indefinitely. Make sure she does her part to help out around the place.
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If vajayjay is involved... this plan goes right out the window.
 
D

Dr Prob

Banned
Once you move in together, no one is moving out without a healthy helping of grrrrr.

Know that, then do what you feel. NeoGAF is a cool place, full of smart and progressive people who will project all over your topic so I wouldn't listen to them.

Guess what I'm saying is to do what you want, but be ready to feed her Dr Eggman's Beans if things go sideways. If you mash them up they can go in anything.
 
V

Varna

Member
Lots of red flags in the OP but the main thing is that you have to ask.

Lots of people told me I was nuts when I moved in with my girlfriend after only one month... but here we are, five years later. Even if it ended tomorrow I would have no regrets.
 
O

opticalmace

Member
Steelrain said:
QsJfY.gif
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Perfect. lol
 
C

Castor Krieg

Banned
OJdaKiller said:
You don't need to caretake for someone you've only been dating for 2 months. Doesn't set up the best dynamics for the future.
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Holy shit, talk about being a dick. Do you have some evaluation period on dating, like:

<X months: I don't give a fuck, she should be happy I'm with her

>X months: She is the love of my life, I would do anything for her!


To the OP: I understand if you are dating her you are thinking about some sort of a future with her. If so, let her move in.
If you are not thinking about the future, and are just in for the free sex, stop being an asshole and end the relationship.
 
M

Mudkips

Banned
Drek said:
As someone who has done this exact thing multiple times, it isn't that big of a deal if you can be a grown up about it, regardless of how she handles shit.

1. don't add her to the lease or any retarded shit like that.

2. don't ask her to help pay the rent or utilities. You obviously can afford it yourself, don't complicate the situation by making her a tenant.

3. She helps pay for food.

4. Stock up on rubbers.

5. Instead of being worried about her being the slob focus on your own shit. Young women can occasionally be slobs, young men (like yourself) are almost always slobs at least in their own place. Keep shit clean and set a tempo that she'll pick up on and your place will stay clean.

6. All of this assumes that she does in fact have a definite place lined up for next fall (dorms I'm guessing) and that you're cool with seeing your relationship get thrown into hyperdrive. But as someone mentioned about, the last bit isn't really your choice. She's either going to be staying with you, grab a desperate situation to make shit work, or have to give up the internship because she couldn't find a place. The second of those two scenarios will likely be more stressful on your relationship than her staying with you, and will effectively have the same end result minus a bunch of money from her. The third is relationship poison anyhow, because she will begrudge the lack of an offer (even if she doesn't mention it to you).

So take the opportunity to white knight for a few months, know how the fuck you exit (or in this case she exits) when shit goes nutty, and be prepared to act like a calm, rational adult when you guys hit unexpected turbulence. Other than that, enjoy all the sex but keep it wrapped, even if she takes BC. Two layers of protection motherfucker.
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Do not listen to this man. He has never watched an episode of People's Court.
Every single one of his points is the opposite of true.
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
Castor Krieg said:
Holy shit, talk about being a dick. Do you have some evaluation period on dating, like:

<X months: I don't give a fuck, she should be happy I'm with her

>X months: She is the love of my life, I would do anything for her!


To the OP: I understand if you are dating her you are thinking about some sort of a future with her. If so, let her move in.
If you are not thinking about the future, and are just in for the free sex, stop being an asshole and end the relationship.
Click to expand...

You should have an evaluation period. Would you invite a girl to live with you on the first date? The second? If your answer is "no" (and rightfully so), he should wait a bit more than 2 months before he lets her move in, even temporarily. Relationships do have stages, mate.
 
J

Jamie xxoo

Member
Go for it. Don't take life too seriously. Maybe it'll be a big mistake - but you'll get over it!

Over-thinking things and never taking chances is boring.
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
Castor Krieg said:
How is that mature at all? Is there a magical date, where you suddenly start to give a damn about a person you are with? I'm sorry, that is douchebag quality right there.
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Is there a magical date, where you suddenly start to get physical with a person you're wi- ah, yes, there is...

Is there a magical date, where liking turns to true lov- damn, that too.

What are we talking about, again?
 
S

SapientWolf

Trucker Sexologist
Will you guys be sharing a room? Will you still have a mancave? I don't think it's gonna work if you have to see each other all the time.
 
N

Neki

Member
Honestly, I was going to say don't do it, but life wouldn't be fun if you didn't do some stupid shit once in a while, makes you a better person as long as you don't die or land in jail. Either way, as someone mentioned earlier, if she loses the internship because she didn't have a place to stay, it's going to poison your relationship. So either way, it's a risk, so you mine as well have fun risking it all.
 
Z

Zoso

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time.
I moved in with my girlfriend after one month. I fully recommend it.
 
L

Lafiel

と呼ぶがよい
If it's only for the summer, I'd say go for it. Who knows, it might strengthen your relationship down the line. (or break it up) .

Thread title makes it seem like a more permanent move-in.
 
C

Castor Krieg

Banned
JokerOfSpades said:
Is there a magical date, where you suddenly start to get physical with a person you're wi- ah, yes, there is...

Is there a magical date, where liking turns to true lov- damn, that too.

What are we talking about, again?
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Given that some ppl have sex on first date, and some wait for weeks, months I would say these things are different person-by-person. The OP should probably figure out what this girl means to him exactly instead of asking on GAF.
 
EviLore

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
Tunavi said:
I've had this girlfriend for about 2 months, we go to the same college and we have a healthy relationship. She comes from a poor family, so she doesn't have a car and she can't afford to live in her own apartment over the summer. She isn't going back home because she got an internship thats important to her at our school. I have my apartment for the whole summer. It's not that we are actively deciding to move in together, she really needs the help.

Is it a bad decision to ask her to move in this early in our relationship? It would just be for the summer, she will have her own place next semester. Anyone have an experience with something like this? I need to make a decision in 2 weeks. I need advice.
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Actually reading the OP, I don't see much of a problem with this. Yes, the nature of the relationship changes a bit even if she gets her own place afterwards, but just temporarily over the summer isn't a major commitment, and it's a big deal to her to not lose her internship and so forth.

Yes, 21 + 18, yes, just two months, but I'd do it under these circumstances.
 
S

Sobriquet

Member
reKon said:
I'm waiting for the person who will provide the yes answer backed with some kind of amazing explanation
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OK, I'll do it.

Go for it. I moved in with my girlfriend a month after we started dating. We've been together for 9 years, married for almost 7.
 
T

Tunavi

Banned
One of my roommates conveniently wants to move out early, so she is going to take his room and pay his rent. Ah this is working out much better now.
 
ScientificNinja

ScientificNinja

Member
OP, you should have a conversation about this with your girlfriend like a pair of grown adults. Set parameters. Manage expectations. I don't see the problem with her moving in.
 
A

Aselith

Member
Today is Tuesday? She'll be pregnant by Monday. Also, you'll both be addicted to crack cocaine and sexual perverts. This life of sin you're about to embark on catches up with everyone and sooner rather than later.
 
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