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Most clueless you've ever been to sexual/romantic advances?

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T

The Real Abed

Perma-Junior
A girl I worked with liked me at one point I was so introverted that I would constantly try and push her away. It started one day when she made a harmless remark one day on her way out when she said "We're going to go see Riddick when it comes out, right?" I had no idea what Riddick was so I just said a passing "yeah" and didn't think anything of it.

Until the movie came out. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, whom I also worked with. (Apparently she liked both of us but he had more balls to actually ask her out in the first place. At one point I mentioned to a friend that I couldn't believe she picked him over me and it got back to her. She did bring it up one day later on too.) And one day as I was finishing my shift she came by and asked if I was ready to go. I really didn't want to because I was such an introvert, but she was determined to crack my shell. Eventually I gave in and we went to see it. She came over a few times over the next couple weeks and "dragged" me places. I met her estranged mother and her grandparents whom she lived with. She introduced me to Ken Jennings during his 37 episode run on Jeopardy whom I continued to follow until he finally lost. We saw a few more movies. (Including Shrek 2. Can you place this into a timeframe yet?) Then she just gave up. She soon moved away. I only knew her first name so it's not like I could look her up on FaceBook now.

I didn't realize until years later when I had opened up a lot more that she was into me and I had completely fucked up a sure thing.

Sometimes I wish the current me could go back in time and punch the young me square in the face. But you live and learn. C'est la vie.
 
S

shadowsdarknes

Member
Rhomega Beta said:
Reading this thread further reminds me that I'm scared of having sex. Aside of getting her pregnant, sex (like alcohol) has just been too demonized for me to actually come close to doing it, even if it's appropriate to actually do it. I'm scared of what would happen on my (potential) wedding night.
Click to expand...

On your wedding night be careful. Many virgins have blinded they're newly wedded partner all the way to the lawyers office because they blew they're only shot at love.
 
T

The Real Abed

Perma-Junior
whitehawk said:
I hate this shit. "Then why didn't you ask me out?"
Click to expand...
Yeah, I got that once too from someone I went to school with. Though she's a hardcore Christian now so it's probably a good thing. She's better off with another religious boyfriend. But still. There were plenty of girls in school I wish I'd gone out with if I hadn't been such an introvert.

Actually I think it might stem back to 8th grade when a girl asked me to the school dance, gave me her number and everything but then wouldn't answer the phone when I called and didn't show up because her parents didn't want her dating at that age. She of course moved to Florida soon after. Shame, I thought she was kind of cute at the time.
 
highrider

highrider

Banned
Too many. I lost weight and got taller after puberty. Handsomed up if you will. It took me several years to get any confidence at all. Didn't even get laid until I was 18. Older woman who understood how clueless I was.
 
H

hiryu64

Member
whitehawk said:
I hate this shit. "Then why didn't you ask me out?"
Click to expand...

I had a friend that I wanted to date in high school tell me, after she got engaged, "I should have dated you when I had the chance." I wanted to slap her for saying that.
KuGsj.gif


And yeah, it's like, okay, if you're interested, then make a move. Nobody's stopping you from doing anything. Nothing wrong with a girl pursuing a guy @_@

KzlZ9.jpg
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
As a freshman in college, there was this girl in my geology class who- looking back- clearly had some sort of thing for me. She was hot, blonde, blue eyed with bit ol tiggies. Despite being a huge social recluse myself, she was always talking to me and sitting by me. One lecture on a particularly hot day she sat right next to me, under an air conditioning vent, wearing a denim skirt. She mentioned how cold it was and pointed out that she had goose bumps on her legs. "Seriously, feel them!" she said. Unsurprisingly, I was too chickenshit to. Not too long after that she lost interest. I was really fucking clueless back then. I think it was at least partially a severe self-esteem/confidence problem. Not exactly any more successful nowadays.
 
S

Snake

Member
This is not really a story of me simply being "clueless." More like "horrible at existing as a human being in every meaningful way."

Throughout high school there was a girl who was always very quick to take the same classes as me, get assigned to the same groups, etc. Outside of class she would often come to me to offer to study together, and I couldn't say no to her. But there was a "problem": she was an extremely kind, interesting, and attractive girl. So I thought Yeah right, like someone this wonderful could be interested in me! I actually had the biggest crush on her, but surely that was just a crazy fantasy on my part. I had low self-esteem, a bad situation at home, and was thoroughly screwed up when it came to interpersonal relationships.

So what strange confabulation did I construct in my teenage brain to explain why she was always trying to spend time with me? Surely she couldn't just want to be friends, and most certainly not anything more than that. Therefore she must simply be using me to do her work for her!!! Was I actually doing her homework for her? No. Writing essays for her? No. Helping her cheat on tests? No. In fact, she was very smart herself. But somehow I convinced myself that she was just interested in taking advantage of my intellect. Yes, I am the villain in my own story.

Not only did I fail to realize that she liked me [as would later be confirmed], but I was often testy with her, and sometimes made up excuses to avoid her.

And it gets worse.

I can remember numerous times when we talked, like really talked in a way I've never done with anyone else. She asked me questions about myself, the life I led, my hopes and dreams. On a few occasions I actually opened up and told her things I had never really told anyone else, like stuff about my physically abusive father. She responded with genuine compassion and I didn't even appreciate it at the time. As it turned out, her parents were neglectful and abusive as well, and she told me how her aunt and uncle took custody of her when she was in middle school, relating how much better things can get. I didn't completely blow her off or anything, but I was unable to appreciate just how open she was with me. And of course I rarely asked her about herself.

Now we get to the sexually clueless part. I can remember multiple occasions when she invited me to her house when "her aunt and uncle were out of town," and as usual it didn't even occur to me that she was interested in anything more than a study buddy, so I always made excuses and turned her down. She hugged me all the time, and I took it as a sign of pity rather than affection. She would blush at the drop of a pin when we were together, and I took it to mean she was laughing at me on the inside (yes I want to smack myself too). Now, to understand this in hindsight, part of the problem here was that she was still fairly hesitant to open up to anyone due to her own experience with abuse, so she was never very forceful in her signals and never said anything like "i like you". But that didn't remotely excuse the extent of my insensitivity. The last time I saw her was at graduation, where we parted on terms that seemed normal at the time, but in retrospect she seemed almost sad and defeated.

Fast forward to my senior year of college, where I meet someone from our high school, and according to what this person had heard, she is "doing great, got married." I was really happy for her, and at this point I had already started to re-assess things and realize how much I ignored and rebuffed her friendship. So I wanted to get in touch with her and express how thankful I am for her being a good friend all those years.

And man it gets even worse.

I contacted her a while later. She was happy to hear from me, but something was clearly wrong with her tone. It turns out she got married quickly out of a fear of being alone. The guy she married turned out to be a monster and was beating her (I've never been able to talk about this with other people in real life because it makes me feel so sad and guilty). Oh yeah, and she had given up starting her career in order to move across the country for his job. So when she left him, she basically had nothing, no one to turn to, and had to start over on her own.

We talked extensively, and this is the point where I learned that she liked me throughout high school, "maybe even loved [me]", but was afraid to say it outright due to fear of intimacy. We talked forever and everything was so much different since I was no longer a bitter socially-retarded teenager. I can pretty much guarantee you've never met such a sweet, sensitive, and emotionally honest person as her, but also someone who keeps getting hurt by everyone in her life (including me in my own way back then, it pains me to realize). We now talk all the time and are very interested in re-connecting in person once work settles down for a while. There may even be a happy ending to this story. But thinking about it almost cripples me when I think back on how blind and stupid I was.
 
L

Lizardus

Member
Snake said:
This is not really a story of me simply being "clueless." More like "horrible at existing as a human being in every meaningful way."

Throughout high school there was a girl who was always very quick to take the same classes as me, get assigned to the same groups, etc. Outside of class she would often come to me to offer to study together, and I couldn't say no to her. But there was a "problem": she was an extremely kind, interesting, and attractive girl. So I thought Yeah right, like someone this wonderful could be interested in me! I actually had the biggest crush on her, but surely that was just a crazy fantasy on my part. I had low self-esteem, a bad situation at home, and was thoroughly screwed up when it came to interpersonal relationships.

So what strange confabulation did I construct in my teenage brain to explain why she was always trying to spend time with me? Surely she couldn't just want to be friends, and most certainly not anything more than that. Therefore she must simply be using me to do her work for her!!! Was I actually doing her homework for her? No. Writing essays for her? No. Helping her cheat on tests? No. In fact, she was very smart herself. But somehow I convinced myself that she was just interested in taking advantage of my intellect. Yes, I am the villain in my own story.

Not only did I fail to realize that she liked me [as would later be confirmed], but I was often testy with her, and sometimes made up excuses to avoid her.

And it gets worse.

I can remember numerous times when we talked, like really talked in a way I've never done with anyone else. She asked me questions about myself, the life I led, my hopes and dreams. On a few occasions I actually opened up and told her things I had never really told anyone else, like stuff about my physically abusive father. She responded with genuine compassion and I didn't even appreciate it at the time. As it turned out, her parents were neglectful and abusive as well, and she told me how her aunt and uncle took custody of her when she was in middle school, relating how much better things can get. I didn't completely blow her off or anything, but I was unable to appreciate just how open she was with me. And of course I rarely asked her about herself.

Now we get to the sexually clueless part. I can remember multiple occasions when she invited me to her house when "her aunt and uncle were out of town," and as usual it didn't even occur to me that she was interested in anything more than a study buddy, so I always made excuses and turned her down. She hugged me all the time, and I took it as a sign of pity rather than affection. She would blush at the drop of a pin when we were together, and I took it to mean she was laughing at me on the inside (yes I want to smack myself too). Now, to understand this in hindsight, part of the problem here was that she was still fairly hesitant to open up to anyone due to her own experience with abuse, so she was never very forceful in her signals and never said anything like "i like you". But that didn't remotely excuse the extent of my insensitivity. The last time I saw her was at graduation, where we parted on terms that seemed normal at the time, but in retrospect she seemed almost sad and defeated.

Fast forward to my senior year of college, where I meet someone from our high school, and according to what this person had heard, she is "doing great, got married." I was really happy for her, and at this point I had already started to re-assess things and realize how much I ignored and rebuffed her friendship. So I wanted to get in touch with her and express how thankful I am for her being a good friend all those years.

And man it gets even worse.

I contacted her a while later. She was happy to hear from me, but something was clearly wrong with her tone. It turns out she got married quickly out of a fear of being alone. The guy she married turned out to be a monster and was beating her (I've never been able to talk about this with other people in real life because it makes me feel so sad and guilty). Oh yeah, and she had given up starting her career in order to move across the country for his job. So when she left him, she basically had nothing, no one to turn to, and had to start over on her own.

We talked extensively, and this is the point where I learned that she liked me throughout high school, "maybe even loved [me]", but was afraid to say it outright due to fear of intimacy. We talked forever and everything was so much different since I was no longer a bitter socially-retarded teenager. I can pretty much guarantee you've never met such a sweet, sensitive, and emotionally honest person as her, but also someone who keeps getting hurt by everyone in her life (including me in my own way back then, it pains me to realize). We now talk all the time and are very interested in re-connecting in person once work settles down for a while. There may even be a happy ending to this story. But thinking about it almost cripples me when I think back on how blind and stupid I was.
Click to expand...

c'mon, time to get with her.
 
A

arkon

Member
Snake said:
This is not really a story of me simply being "clueless." More like "horrible at existing as a human being in every meaningful way."

Throughout high school there was a girl who was always very quick to take the same classes as me, get assigned to the same groups, etc. Outside of class she would often come to me to offer to study together, and I couldn't say no to her. But there was a "problem": she was an extremely kind, interesting, and attractive girl. So I thought Yeah right, like someone this wonderful could be interested in me! I actually had the biggest crush on her, but surely that was just a crazy fantasy on my part. I had low self-esteem, a bad situation at home, and was thoroughly screwed up when it came to interpersonal relationships.

So what strange confabulation did I construct in my teenage brain to explain why she was always trying to spend time with me? Surely she couldn't just want to be friends, and most certainly not anything more than that. Therefore she must simply be using me to do her work for her!!! Was I actually doing her homework for her? No. Writing essays for her? No. Helping her cheat on tests? No. In fact, she was very smart herself. But somehow I convinced myself that she was just interested in taking advantage of my intellect. Yes, I am the villain in my own story.

Not only did I fail to realize that she liked me [as would later be confirmed], but I was often testy with her, and sometimes made up excuses to avoid her.

And it gets worse.

I can remember numerous times when we talked, like really talked in a way I've never done with anyone else. She asked me questions about myself, the life I led, my hopes and dreams. On a few occasions I actually opened up and told her things I had never really told anyone else, like stuff about my physically abusive father. She responded with genuine compassion and I didn't even appreciate it at the time. As it turned out, her parents were neglectful and abusive as well, and she told me how her aunt and uncle took custody of her when she was in middle school, relating how much better things can get. I didn't completely blow her off or anything, but I was unable to appreciate just how open she was with me. And of course I rarely asked her about herself.

Now we get to the sexually clueless part. I can remember multiple occasions when she invited me to her house when "her aunt and uncle were out of town," and as usual it didn't even occur to me that she was interested in anything more than a study buddy, so I always made excuses and turned her down. She hugged me all the time, and I took it as a sign of pity rather than affection. She would blush at the drop of a pin when we were together, and I took it to mean she was laughing at me on the inside (yes I want to smack myself too). Now, to understand this in hindsight, part of the problem here was that she was still fairly hesitant to open up to anyone due to her own experience with abuse, so she was never very forceful in her signals and never said anything like "i like you". But that didn't remotely excuse the extent of my insensitivity. The last time I saw her was at graduation, where we parted on terms that seemed normal at the time, but in retrospect she seemed almost sad and defeated.

Fast forward to my senior year of college, where I meet someone from our high school, and according to what this person had heard, she is "doing great, got married." I was really happy for her, and at this point I had already started to re-assess things and realize how much I ignored and rebuffed her friendship. So I wanted to get in touch with her and express how thankful I am for her being a good friend all those years.

And man it gets even worse.

I contacted her a while later. She was happy to hear from me, but something was clearly wrong with her tone. It turns out she got married quickly out of a fear of being alone. The guy she married turned out to be a monster and was beating her (I've never been able to talk about this with other people in real life because it makes me feel so sad and guilty). Oh yeah, and she had given up starting her career in order to move across the country for his job. So when she left him, she basically had nothing, no one to turn to, and had to start over on her own.

We talked extensively, and this is the point where I learned that she liked me throughout high school, "maybe even loved [me]", but was afraid to say it outright due to fear of intimacy. We talked forever and everything was so much different since I was no longer a bitter socially-retarded teenager. I can pretty much guarantee you've never met such a sweet, sensitive, and emotionally honest person as her, but also someone who keeps getting hurt by everyone in her life (including me in my own way back then, it pains me to realize). We now talk all the time and are very interested in re-connecting in person once work settles down for a while. There may even be a happy ending to this story. But thinking about it almost cripples me when I think back on how blind and stupid I was.
Click to expand...

It honestly doesn't sound too different to most of the stories in this thread, but the main and most important difference is that you have a second chance. I'm not really in any position to say so, being the big manchild that I am, but I'm going to say it anyway. Dude, don't fuck this up. You liked her and she liked you. The feelings must still be there. She might be the one! I honestly hope it works out for you. Sounds like you both need to catch a break. And it would give me hope for what is otherwise looking like a bleak future.
 
L

Lurky

Member
When I was a freshman in high school, a girl came up to me and said she wanted me to fist her then proceeded hand me her phone number. The girl was a good friend of mine so I thought this was a joke and I didn't think much of it when I threw away her number. This happened near the end of the school year and although I didn't know it then, she was actually going to move away after the summer. So the next year I'm talking to this other girl that was a mutual friend of ours and it turns out that she was trying to help the first girl have sex with me before moving away.
 
A

AwayFromInfinityx

Member
FairyD said:
Five years ago I was on a date with a girl. This was the third date I have ever been on so I was a bit nervous. We were meeting at a bar and i had got there early. I was pounding back drinks to calm down and to loosen up. We met up and had dinner and drinks. She didn't have a mustache so it was already the best date I've been on. The conversation and laughs was flowing smoothly all through the night. As we were leaving she mentions how she lives 5 minutes away and I mentioned how I had to take the subway. She offered to walk me to the subway and we ended up doing just that.

We got to the subway and I pulled on the door to the entrance to the place it was locked. Boom. A transit strike just occurred and I couldn't use the TTC. She asks me what I'm going to do and I mention how I'll have to take a cab or walk home. She says to me, "Why don't you sleep over at my place. you can sleep in my bed". I reply, "No, no its ok, I'll take a cab home". I then proceed to hail a cab and hop in. On my way home she calls me twice asking me if alright and if I still want to come over to her place.

I face palm myself everytime I think of that date.
Click to expand...

DUDE
0426_gjrtd.gif
 
S

SwissLion

Member
For something a little more light-hearted my female friends are constantly annoyed with me because I apparently get hit on by other dudes more than they do and I am completely oblivious to it about 95% of the time.

They've been trying to train me in the ways of "Haaaaaaaaave you met ______?!" but I have still yet to catch on.
 
M

Madrin

Member
Went to homecoming with a girl. She kept suggesting that we leave the dance and go outside for a few minutes to catch some air. I took this completely literally and spent our time outside just shooting the breeze. This happened 3 times over the course of the night.

A few years later I was thinking back to that night and it suddenly hit me: she wanted to go outside because she wanted me to kiss her. Pretty embarrassing since I considered myself to be pretty attuned to those kinds of signals from girls.
 
B

Brianemone

Member
Snake, if you think there might be something, drop everything and get your ass to where she is. Make the effort. God, after the years of approaches it sounds like she went through, it's the least you can do.
 
V

volpone

Banned
For me, it's less about missing the hints, and more about fucking it all up somehow. There have been points where I have consciously sabotaged myself. Fortunately things seem to be on the upswing.
 
Jaffaboy

Jaffaboy

Member
What's worse than being clueless is refusing advances because you think that it's going to somehow end badly, or that you shouldn't be doing it because of one reason or another when in hindsight, those reasons are complete shit compared to what you could have had with that person.

Me and my brother went to his ex's birthday party when we were 17/16 and it was the first time I got completely hammered. His ex had a thing for me, and she made her advances on me and I reciprocated, but there was nothing more than some light petting. It's a pretty fucked situation sure, but we had been friends for a long time and she had liked me for a long time. The next day I felt incredibly guilty, thinking I'd betrayed my brother (when he actually couldn't have given a shit) and instead of just going along with what had happened and starting a relationship with this girl, I just cut all ties. I regret it to this day, she was a super awesome girl, and even though it probably wouldn't have lasted I would have got some kind of experience at least.

Another time was with my step brother's cousin (we're completely unrelated), we liked each other and she decided to open up to me about it. I kind of panicked and shot her down, because in that moment I didn't want to deal with the embarrassment of starting something with her when the whole family were there. Also in my mind, I thought that if we were to start something and ever break up, it would cause a lot of friction between our families which I didn't want. The fact that I can think of shit like that and hold back my feelings and emotions still annoys me to this day, and sometimes hinders me from just going for it with a girl. I'm getting much better though.
 
P

PepsimanVsJoe

Member
Delivered pizza to this one woman's house pretty regularly. I've known her for awhile.
One day I go there and she's wearing an unbuttoned shirt with nothing on underneath.

My response. "Thanks and have a good night."

I'm such a dolt.
 
B

Bruce Lee Kicks

Member
In middle school. I joined an art club after school, to give myself something extra to do, seeing as homework was always a breeze. The very first day I was there, the prettiest girls I had ever seen happened to be there. I was shy and even nerdier back then, so I just knew I'd get either picked on, ignored, or shot down if I even looked in their direction. For whatever reason, they were really friendly to me (a little touchy-feely too) and even walked home with me a bunch of times. Never tripped off of it 'til I was older.

At the age of 25, seems as if I'm still pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff because I've been single for a minute.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Snake said:
This is not really a story of me simply being "clueless." More like "horrible at existing as a human being in every meaningful way."

Throughout high school there was a girl who was always very quick to take the same classes as me, get assigned to the same groups, etc. Outside of class she would often come to me to offer to study together, and I couldn't say no to her. But there was a "problem": she was an extremely kind, interesting, and attractive girl. So I thought Yeah right, like someone this wonderful could be interested in me! I actually had the biggest crush on her, but surely that was just a crazy fantasy on my part. I had low self-esteem, a bad situation at home, and was thoroughly screwed up when it came to interpersonal relationships.

So what strange confabulation did I construct in my teenage brain to explain why she was always trying to spend time with me? Surely she couldn't just want to be friends, and most certainly not anything more than that. Therefore she must simply be using me to do her work for her!!! Was I actually doing her homework for her? No. Writing essays for her? No. Helping her cheat on tests? No. In fact, she was very smart herself. But somehow I convinced myself that she was just interested in taking advantage of my intellect. Yes, I am the villain in my own story.

Not only did I fail to realize that she liked me [as would later be confirmed], but I was often testy with her, and sometimes made up excuses to avoid her.

And it gets worse.

I can remember numerous times when we talked, like really talked in a way I've never done with anyone else. She asked me questions about myself, the life I led, my hopes and dreams. On a few occasions I actually opened up and told her things I had never really told anyone else, like stuff about my physically abusive father. She responded with genuine compassion and I didn't even appreciate it at the time. As it turned out, her parents were neglectful and abusive as well, and she told me how her aunt and uncle took custody of her when she was in middle school, relating how much better things can get. I didn't completely blow her off or anything, but I was unable to appreciate just how open she was with me. And of course I rarely asked her about herself.

Now we get to the sexually clueless part. I can remember multiple occasions when she invited me to her house when "her aunt and uncle were out of town," and as usual it didn't even occur to me that she was interested in anything more than a study buddy, so I always made excuses and turned her down. She hugged me all the time, and I took it as a sign of pity rather than affection. She would blush at the drop of a pin when we were together, and I took it to mean she was laughing at me on the inside (yes I want to smack myself too). Now, to understand this in hindsight, part of the problem here was that she was still fairly hesitant to open up to anyone due to her own experience with abuse, so she was never very forceful in her signals and never said anything like "i like you". But that didn't remotely excuse the extent of my insensitivity. The last time I saw her was at graduation, where we parted on terms that seemed normal at the time, but in retrospect she seemed almost sad and defeated.

Fast forward to my senior year of college, where I meet someone from our high school, and according to what this person had heard, she is "doing great, got married." I was really happy for her, and at this point I had already started to re-assess things and realize how much I ignored and rebuffed her friendship. So I wanted to get in touch with her and express how thankful I am for her being a good friend all those years.

And man it gets even worse.

I contacted her a while later. She was happy to hear from me, but something was clearly wrong with her tone. It turns out she got married quickly out of a fear of being alone. The guy she married turned out to be a monster and was beating her (I've never been able to talk about this with other people in real life because it makes me feel so sad and guilty). Oh yeah, and she had given up starting her career in order to move across the country for his job. So when she left him, she basically had nothing, no one to turn to, and had to start over on her own.

We talked extensively, and this is the point where I learned that she liked me throughout high school, "maybe even loved [me]", but was afraid to say it outright due to fear of intimacy. We talked forever and everything was so much different since I was no longer a bitter socially-retarded teenager. I can pretty much guarantee you've never met such a sweet, sensitive, and emotionally honest person as her, but also someone who keeps getting hurt by everyone in her life (including me in my own way back then, it pains me to realize). We now talk all the time and are very interested in re-connecting in person once work settles down for a while. There may even be a happy ending to this story. But thinking about it almost cripples me when I think back on how blind and stupid I was.
Click to expand...

tumblr_m6ircrOm6E1rziwwco1_250.gif


That... really sucks, dude.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Freshmaker said:
A few girls have asked me out for drinks over the years. My response every single time?

"I don't drink."
Click to expand...

I'm in the same boat. Well, no girl has asked me for drinks, but if they did, I... don't drink. Alcohol. I guess I could drink water, but then there's a disparity in how inebriated we are.
 
A

Aaron Strife

Banned
Snake said:
This is not really a story of me simply being "clueless." More like "horrible at existing as a human being in every meaningful way."

Throughout high school there was a girl who was always very quick to take the same classes as me, get assigned to the same groups, etc. Outside of class she would often come to me to offer to study together, and I couldn't say no to her. But there was a "problem": she was an extremely kind, interesting, and attractive girl. So I thought Yeah right, like someone this wonderful could be interested in me! I actually had the biggest crush on her, but surely that was just a crazy fantasy on my part. I had low self-esteem, a bad situation at home, and was thoroughly screwed up when it came to interpersonal relationships.

So what strange confabulation did I construct in my teenage brain to explain why she was always trying to spend time with me? Surely she couldn't just want to be friends, and most certainly not anything more than that. Therefore she must simply be using me to do her work for her!!! Was I actually doing her homework for her? No. Writing essays for her? No. Helping her cheat on tests? No. In fact, she was very smart herself. But somehow I convinced myself that she was just interested in taking advantage of my intellect. Yes, I am the villain in my own story.

Not only did I fail to realize that she liked me [as would later be confirmed], but I was often testy with her, and sometimes made up excuses to avoid her.

And it gets worse.

I can remember numerous times when we talked, like really talked in a way I've never done with anyone else. She asked me questions about myself, the life I led, my hopes and dreams. On a few occasions I actually opened up and told her things I had never really told anyone else, like stuff about my physically abusive father. She responded with genuine compassion and I didn't even appreciate it at the time. As it turned out, her parents were neglectful and abusive as well, and she told me how her aunt and uncle took custody of her when she was in middle school, relating how much better things can get. I didn't completely blow her off or anything, but I was unable to appreciate just how open she was with me. And of course I rarely asked her about herself.

Now we get to the sexually clueless part. I can remember multiple occasions when she invited me to her house when "her aunt and uncle were out of town," and as usual it didn't even occur to me that she was interested in anything more than a study buddy, so I always made excuses and turned her down. She hugged me all the time, and I took it as a sign of pity rather than affection. She would blush at the drop of a pin when we were together, and I took it to mean she was laughing at me on the inside (yes I want to smack myself too). Now, to understand this in hindsight, part of the problem here was that she was still fairly hesitant to open up to anyone due to her own experience with abuse, so she was never very forceful in her signals and never said anything like "i like you". But that didn't remotely excuse the extent of my insensitivity. The last time I saw her was at graduation, where we parted on terms that seemed normal at the time, but in retrospect she seemed almost sad and defeated.

Fast forward to my senior year of college, where I meet someone from our high school, and according to what this person had heard, she is "doing great, got married." I was really happy for her, and at this point I had already started to re-assess things and realize how much I ignored and rebuffed her friendship. So I wanted to get in touch with her and express how thankful I am for her being a good friend all those years.

And man it gets even worse.

I contacted her a while later. She was happy to hear from me, but something was clearly wrong with her tone. It turns out she got married quickly out of a fear of being alone. The guy she married turned out to be a monster and was beating her (I've never been able to talk about this with other people in real life because it makes me feel so sad and guilty). Oh yeah, and she had given up starting her career in order to move across the country for his job. So when she left him, she basically had nothing, no one to turn to, and had to start over on her own.

We talked extensively, and this is the point where I learned that she liked me throughout high school, "maybe even loved [me]", but was afraid to say it outright due to fear of intimacy. We talked forever and everything was so much different since I was no longer a bitter socially-retarded teenager. I can pretty much guarantee you've never met such a sweet, sensitive, and emotionally honest person as her, but also someone who keeps getting hurt by everyone in her life (including me in my own way back then, it pains me to realize). We now talk all the time and are very interested in re-connecting in person once work settles down for a while. There may even be a happy ending to this story. But thinking about it almost cripples me when I think back on how blind and stupid I was.
Click to expand...
Hot diggity damn, dude. I hope you get your happy ending. I also totally understand where you're coming from - when you grow up in an abusive/neglectful environment it's hard to see the good intentions in anybody, they all must have an ulterior motive. I've dealt with that before.

I actually get hit on a lot but play oblivious most of the time, just because I'm not looking for anything right now, whether it's a fling or an actually serious relationship. A lot of my friends have pointed this out to me, even.
 
P

Procarbine

Forever Platinum
This has only happened to me one time to my knowledge, but it was awful. There was a girl I knew at college that I had a crush on for the better part of two years, just always on the back burner while I pursued other girls. We were teammates in a competitive martial arts club so we had been introduced as friends and had been for some time. I was a little intimidated by her as well, very talented, outranked me, and very attractive.

One night after going out sake bombing with a bunch of friends we went back to the team house to do more insane drinking, I was more drunk this night than I had ever been in my life, but I'm not one to black out and given the circumstances I remember it pretty well.

As the night is winding down and we're all reasonably hammered she starts telling me how her hook up buddy got a girlfriend and she was now without one. Things moved on somehow to a friend's bed where I was laying down and she was feeding me popcorn that came from somewhere while we talked to another good buddy of mine. Eventually we all go to leave, my buddy lives in one direction, the two of us live in the other, we start walking, she wants a piggyback ride, give her one, etc. Get to the corner of her street and I just do a "K bye" and we part ways, she then texts me until she goes to sleep. I woke up the next morning, looked at my phone and my heart dropped out, what the fuck had I done, I was completely fucking oblivious. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. She's busy with academics following week and doesn't come out with us, steam goes down and we're back to normal. Fast forward to a week or two later, she has a boyfriend, still dating him now, 2.5 years later.

I missed my shot, and it still makes me mad. The worst part is, she knows it, and still texts me from time to time, just taunting me it seems. Feels bad man.
 
T

Typographenia

Member
Let's see, the worst two examples I can think of are an older one from high school several years ago and one from just a few months ago.

I'll just quote my high school one-


Typographenia said:
Probably the worst example involved this one girl in a high school art class who was always talking to me. She routinely asked me questions about why I was single, how she couldn't believe I didn't have a girlfriend, and so forth. One time, I went into the art closet to get something for a piece I was working on, and I heard the door close behind me. I turned around to see her smiling real big with her hand on the door. She said, "This is probably the first time you've been in a closet with a girl, huh?" I stood there a moment and said, "yeah." She giggled, and, after a moment or two, I asked her if she could open the door so I could get back to work.

She continued to talk with me in class all of the time, emailed me a few times to talk, and she even wrote me a really sweet "goodbye" card when we graduated. It was only after I read the note that I realized what exactly had really been going on.
Click to expand...


That's not the worst one anymore, I think...


Started going to grad school, and there's this one girl in my class I noticed hanging around me more often than anyone else. I figured, "whatever, I'm probably just imaging things." She constantly teased me, messed around with me, would put her hands in my hair, and just make general comments about my looks. I didn't pay it any mind, because I figured it was just the type of person she was.

My class goes on a big trip to a ghost town for one of our classes, and she hangs around me when we're all walking around the little residential town we're staying in nearby. That evening, several of us are hanging out together in one of the hotel rooms just talking, and she asks if she can sit down next to me on the little chair I'm currently on. There is an entire bed open to sit on and another chair, but I figured it was just because I already had it pulled out, so whatever. She follows me around a lot of the following day when we're out and about the ghost town. On the ride back to town, she sits in the chair ahead of me and talks with me for most of the morning while everyone else is asleep.

It comes to a head when we're just joking around in a group chat with our classmates and one drunk classmate tells us to just date already. It gets super awkward really fast, and I decided the best option was to make it more awkward by joking around. The next day, she tells me we need to talk. She tells me she's super attracted to me and has even thought of doing things with me. I respond with, "oh... okay." She asks if we could maybe start sort of dating, but just be taking it slow. I was apprehensive, as I wanted to focus on grad school, and she had even made such claims before. However, I agreed, and we sit there silently for a moment. I say "should we kiss or something?" and we do. She says it would be best if we don't go telling anyone just yet, since we're taking it slow and I say okay.

Three days later or so, a lot of my class decides we should go to karaoke. I get a ride with a fellow classmate over there, and the girl shows up a little late after getting off from work. We all have a grand time, and I figure we should sing a song together since we're like kind of not really sort of dating, and I get her to sing "A Whole New World" with me (she loves disney). We all have class first thing in the morning, so we say we're going to go ahead and leave, but nobody else wants to go. So, we get back to campus, and we talk for a little while in the parking lot. Our kiss the other day was basically my first real kiss, and she tries to help teach me how to make out. We do for a while, and we end up talking some more. She says she can't wait until we get to the point where she gets my shirt off one day and beyond that. I tell her I don't know if I can promise her I'll be able to do that (really because I'm essentially unable to open myself emotionally to anyone/relate to people in a meaningful way). She says it's good that we spoke about this, and kind of pulls away from me. We talk for a little while longer about whatever, and I get out and go into the school to work some more.

A few days pass, and I try my best to try to be really nice, compliment her, and such. I figured it was something I should be doing now since we're kind of sort of dating. She pulls me aside one evening and tells me she thinks we should call off the going out thing. I say "alright, I mean, that's what the whole taking it slow thing was for, right?"
She still kind of flirts with me, I think? I'm not too sure at this point. All I know is I somehow managed to have my first "girlfriend" and push her away in under a week.
 
L

Lizardus

Member
Madrin said:
Went to homecoming with a girl. She kept suggesting that we leave the dance and go outside for a few minutes to catch some air. I took this completely literally and spent our time outside just shooting the breeze. This happened 3 times over the course of the night.

A few years later I was thinking back to that night and it suddenly hit me: she wanted to go outside because she wanted me to kiss her. Pretty embarrassing since I considered myself to be pretty attuned to those kinds of signals from girls.
Click to expand...

God damn I hate this, does she want to actually go for air or does she mean something else?
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Spring-Loaded said:
I grabbed my monitor at this point, shaking it it and asking "why????" :(
Click to expand...

Because I'm a bellend, that's why.

Another one.

A few years ago I was seeing this very likeable PR lady due to some work assignments. She was nothing spectacular body wise, but she had a pretty face, big brown almond eyes and the cutest posh Basque accent ever. Seriously nice girl. We would get along great and at some point she began flirting with me, to which I replied with more playful flirting because I'm a goddamned idiot and I don't know any better. Later we would start hanging out on weekends, going to the cinema and getting plastered at the local watering holes.
One of those nights I walked her home. It was late, we were slightly inebriated and I was to met my friends at bar close to the city's centre, so I said goodbye to her and waited for a bus. Then, the following exchange took place:

She: (with trembling voice) So... it's late. Would you like to come to my place, have some coffee and call it a night?
Me: Nah, I don't think so. I told my friends that I'd meet them in half an hour.
She: (now a bit more insecure and with puppy eyes) But it's really late. Buses don't come any longer.
Me: Shit, I'll have to take a taxi. See you next week?
She: ...
Me: What?
She: OK THEN (storms off, almost crying)
Me: *pokerface*

Later that night I told my friends what happened. Just as I was finishing my little story it hit me like a ton of bricks. I nearly got chased out of the bar by my friends, but alas, it was too late. I lost contact with her. We only became reacquainted very recently through Facebook. She's happily married and has as cute-ass baby.

Le sigh.

Edit: Wow, FairyD's story is scarily similar. We should hang around, bro.
 
Freshmaker

Freshmaker

I am Korean.
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I'm in the same boat. Well, no girl has asked me for drinks, but if they did, I... don't drink. Alcohol. I guess I could drink water, but then there's a disparity in how inebriated we are.
Click to expand...

Thing is, it's not even about the drinks. It's about a comfortable place to chat face to face etc. This is what makes turning it down so stupid and clueless.
 
V

vincent vega

Member
Junior year of high school

This girl in class was telling me how she gives GREAT full body massages, and how I seem fun to hang out with. All I did was say "thanks"
 
A

Air

Banned
I had a girl ask me to sit on her lap while talking to me about how great a party was going and all I said was 'yeah this is a great party'. The sad thing is at that the time she kind of looked like a young Scarlett johansson. To my credit though, I had realized this, but my friend was punching a toilet and I had to escort him out of the house. If you have to picture the flirting, think of how Gob was sitting on that guys lap in arrested development.

Another girl I knew was always flirty with me and talked about how she had wanted boyfriends and how many times she had gotten in orgyesque situations (sometimes with the above mentioned girl). She was really touchy feely too. After telling this story to a friend he had joked 'how come you get invited to all these orgies' and it kind of made a lot of stuff clear to me.
 
S

SCULLIBUNDO

Banned
Snake said:
This is not really a story of me simply being "clueless." More like "horrible at existing as a human being in every meaningful way."

Throughout high school there was a girl who was always very quick to take the same classes as me, get assigned to the same groups, etc. Outside of class she would often come to me to offer to study together, and I couldn't say no to her. But there was a "problem": she was an extremely kind, interesting, and attractive girl. So I thought Yeah right, like someone this wonderful could be interested in me! I actually had the biggest crush on her, but surely that was just a crazy fantasy on my part. I had low self-esteem, a bad situation at home, and was thoroughly screwed up when it came to interpersonal relationships.

So what strange confabulation did I construct in my teenage brain to explain why she was always trying to spend time with me? Surely she couldn't just want to be friends, and most certainly not anything more than that. Therefore she must simply be using me to do her work for her!!! Was I actually doing her homework for her? No. Writing essays for her? No. Helping her cheat on tests? No. In fact, she was very smart herself. But somehow I convinced myself that she was just interested in taking advantage of my intellect. Yes, I am the villain in my own story.

Not only did I fail to realize that she liked me [as would later be confirmed], but I was often testy with her, and sometimes made up excuses to avoid her.

And it gets worse.

I can remember numerous times when we talked, like really talked in a way I've never done with anyone else. She asked me questions about myself, the life I led, my hopes and dreams. On a few occasions I actually opened up and told her things I had never really told anyone else, like stuff about my physically abusive father. She responded with genuine compassion and I didn't even appreciate it at the time. As it turned out, her parents were neglectful and abusive as well, and she told me how her aunt and uncle took custody of her when she was in middle school, relating how much better things can get. I didn't completely blow her off or anything, but I was unable to appreciate just how open she was with me. And of course I rarely asked her about herself.

Now we get to the sexually clueless part. I can remember multiple occasions when she invited me to her house when "her aunt and uncle were out of town," and as usual it didn't even occur to me that she was interested in anything more than a study buddy, so I always made excuses and turned her down. She hugged me all the time, and I took it as a sign of pity rather than affection. She would blush at the drop of a pin when we were together, and I took it to mean she was laughing at me on the inside (yes I want to smack myself too). Now, to understand this in hindsight, part of the problem here was that she was still fairly hesitant to open up to anyone due to her own experience with abuse, so she was never very forceful in her signals and never said anything like "i like you". But that didn't remotely excuse the extent of my insensitivity. The last time I saw her was at graduation, where we parted on terms that seemed normal at the time, but in retrospect she seemed almost sad and defeated.

Fast forward to my senior year of college, where I meet someone from our high school, and according to what this person had heard, she is "doing great, got married." I was really happy for her, and at this point I had already started to re-assess things and realize how much I ignored and rebuffed her friendship. So I wanted to get in touch with her and express how thankful I am for her being a good friend all those years.

And man it gets even worse.

I contacted her a while later. She was happy to hear from me, but something was clearly wrong with her tone. It turns out she got married quickly out of a fear of being alone. The guy she married turned out to be a monster and was beating her (I've never been able to talk about this with other people in real life because it makes me feel so sad and guilty). Oh yeah, and she had given up starting her career in order to move across the country for his job. So when she left him, she basically had nothing, no one to turn to, and had to start over on her own.

We talked extensively, and this is the point where I learned that she liked me throughout high school, "maybe even loved [me]", but was afraid to say it outright due to fear of intimacy. We talked forever and everything was so much different since I was no longer a bitter socially-retarded teenager. I can pretty much guarantee you've never met such a sweet, sensitive, and emotionally honest person as her, but also someone who keeps getting hurt by everyone in her life (including me in my own way back then, it pains me to realize). We now talk all the time and are very interested in re-connecting in person once work settles down for a while. There may even be a happy ending to this story. But thinking about it almost cripples me when I think back on how blind and stupid I was.
Click to expand...

Okay. We now need a happy ending to this story. We'll wait here.
 
D

Demoncarnotaur

Member
Air said:
I had a girl ask me to sit on her lap while talking to me about how great a party was going and all I said was 'yeah this is a great party'. The sad thing is at that the time she kind of looked like a young Scarlett johansson. To my credit though, I had realized this, but my friend was punching a toilet and I had to escort him out of the house. If you have to picture the flirting, think of how Gob was sitting on that guys lap in arrested development.

Another girl I knew was always flirty with me and talked about how she had wanted boyfriends and how many times she had gotten in orgyesque situations (sometimes with the above mentioned girl). She was really touchy feely too. After telling this story to a friend he had joked 'how come you get invited to all these orgies' and it kind of made a lot of stuff clear to me.
Click to expand...

:lol

093vf.gif
 
C

CaptainGyro

Banned
I'm still clueless. I told a friend of mine this story below, and he was like "dude they were totally hitting on you" but I'm still not sure.

One time I was walking down the street at night, and this car pulls up to me and it's filled with 3 ridiculously hot girls. One of them asks " hey can you tell us where all the hot guys go to party" and I thought it was a weird question to ask a guy. I was like " Uh I don't know. The North Side of Chicago ?( this conversation was in the Chicago suburbs). Or maybe Tooters if you don't want to drive to the city" and then the girl was like "oh-Ok " like she was disappointed and then drove off.

Was I getting hit on?
 
A

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
CaptainGyro said:
I'm still clueless. I told a friend of mine this story below, and he was like "dude they were totally hitting on you" but I'm still not sure.

One time I was walking down the street at night, and this car pulls up to me and it's filled with 3 ridiculously hot girls. One of them asks " hey can you tell us where all the hot guys go to party" and I thought it was a weird question to ask a guy. I was like " Uh I don't know. The North Side of Chicago ?( this conversation was in the Chicago suburbs). Or maybe Tooters if you don't want to drive to the city" and then the girl was like "oh-Ok " like she was disappointed and then drove off.

Was I getting hit on?
Click to expand...

Survey says no.
 
B

Bossun

Member
We were sitting next to each other in the subway (which is relatively hot)

Her : I'm cold

Me : You have a goddamn fur

Me 10 minutes after : .....I'm an idiot....
 
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