A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
The one person that saved my life is gone.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
Evil_Silver
Banned
My depression is overwhelming me. I stay in bed for hours with feelings of extreme fear, sadness, anxiety, and regret. I am going to try and find a therapist and psychiatrist to help me.
Have you seen a professional for help? I can relate. Stomach issues suck too and can be exacerbated by stress and/or diet issues. Yeah I know what you mean about mornings being rough, like a rude awakening when you are not feeling well mentally. Eating consistent breakfast helps me feel better in the morning, I have a few waffles and a banana with a glass of water.
Best of luck. I think they will be able to help you, sometimes it's just something you can't get through on your own.
The terribly cruel part of this illness is watching new symptoms start out of nowhere and then never truly go away. In mid-2013, it was foot pain. In late 2013, scalp pain. Debilitating fatigue started in late 2014 and now, certain tips of fingers and my big toes are almost always numb. I've watched myself go from perfectly healthy to extended periods of not being able to leave my apartment. I often run out of food and find myself starving (although to be fair, I can stand to lose some weight) because I'm too sick to get my own groceries. Only watching out for my friends really keeps me going at this point while I wait for the next sign my body is failing.
Anyone else worried that, as a fallout of the tragic Flight 9525, mental diseases will get further stigmatized?
While going to a family party recently I actually was fearing this convo coming up because I know some people who are very.. uneducated towards mental illness.
I was pleasantly surprised at how respectful about the subject they were. No idea what made them change their mind.
Therapy is kinda stupid when you see no progression but only regression. I feel worse every week and really don't see myself having a future anymore.
TBH I expected my depression/anxiety being addressed but the focus on a personality disorder is annoying when I just want results.
TBH I expected my depression/anxiety being addressed but the focus on a personality disorder is annoying when I just want results.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
Figured out where I'll jump its peaceful. Away from children or onlookers.
The water is nice.
That's were I want to be.
Didn't do it today because I had my.mom's new car which I too to detailing place.
The water is nice.
That's were I want to be.
Didn't do it today because I had my.mom's new car which I too to detailing place.
Meetup.com may help you find others to do fun activities with in you're area. I have wanted to do this for a long time but my problem is that I lack transportation and It takes alot for me to psyche myself to go out .
sineclamor
Member
this is so close to an exact thought I've had before. I nearly drowned when I was 5, and I think I keep trying to go back there for some reason.
I really really hope you don't do this.
tearsofash
Member
200 mg of lamictal and 10mg of buspar for about a week now. I feel like the lamictal increase has definitely helped, and the Buspar is kind of helping with some daily stuff, but there are times when I get overloaded and blank out...instead of have a panic attack like usual I just kind of go numb.
Wolf Dawgz
Member
Are you doing CBT? Addressing certain aspects of your personality disorder may really aid in your depression/anxiety.
Thanks for the suggestion, I asked about that before but I think that'll come at a later stage. They want to focus on psycho therapy first.
Problem being that the probability of ditching treatment is quite high.
I'm 'lucky' to suffer from depression/anxiety though, else I would have never been so willing to go into treatment.
Jost posting this here as a matter of getting it out of my system.
Had 2 visits to the shrink, and already do I see things differently. Only, it 's got a negative effect on me. I always thought my past failures and regrets were my own fault, and now I'm beginning to realize they were not. They are a direct result to how I was made to feel when growing up. I considered it normal while in reality, especially at 27 years old, it's not. It's cost me a girl that I still love very much. It was much easier to me, "knowing" that it was my own fault. I was living my life, carrying around that weight, but it worked.
That idea has been completely demolished and reality has been kicked out from under my feet last week. It's not my fault, it's something I had very little influence on, whatsoever. Makes it that much harder for me to accept what happened, and the process of moving on has begun anew.
That, and the girl I talked about has got a new boyfriend since this saturday. Broke down there and then, when I SAW what was up. Not that I don't want to see her happy but after having my mind totally fucked with last week, that was something I wish had not happened at that time.
Had 2 visits to the shrink, and already do I see things differently. Only, it 's got a negative effect on me. I always thought my past failures and regrets were my own fault, and now I'm beginning to realize they were not. They are a direct result to how I was made to feel when growing up. I considered it normal while in reality, especially at 27 years old, it's not. It's cost me a girl that I still love very much. It was much easier to me, "knowing" that it was my own fault. I was living my life, carrying around that weight, but it worked.
That idea has been completely demolished and reality has been kicked out from under my feet last week. It's not my fault, it's something I had very little influence on, whatsoever. Makes it that much harder for me to accept what happened, and the process of moving on has begun anew.
That, and the girl I talked about has got a new boyfriend since this saturday. Broke down there and then, when I SAW what was up. Not that I don't want to see her happy but after having my mind totally fucked with last week, that was something I wish had not happened at that time.
PM me and let's have a chat. I hope you change your mind fish. We care about you.
For a while there it looked like I was finding a nice coasting point, not fixed but also not broken beyond repair. Wrong again, everything is worse than before and I can't understand why this keeps happening. The worst part is that I was trying, I was doing my best to get better and follow advice and take my meds fairly regularly. I tried to cut out many of the behaviors I know to make my conditions worse and it didn't matter. I had a couple months of peace and now it's like my brain is fighting to take away whatever happiness and hope I had.
I'd rather be miserable and indulgent again than trying hard for no results.
Why does my brain hate me?
I'd rather be miserable and indulgent again than trying hard for no results.
Why does my brain hate me?
Okay so I don't know if I should post this here but here goes.
One of my best friends is suffering from depression and I think she is suicidal. We talk about it sometimes but it doesn't feel like I'm helping. She says she don't want us to be friends anymore because she has bad influence on me. Her reasoning is that I'm such a happy person and deserve better.
I tell her the only reason I'm sad is because I care for her (which I do very much) but she doesn't believe me. She told me that she believes me when I'm saying it to her, face to face but when I'm not with her and she starts to think about it she stops believing I really care for her. She probably thinks no one cares for her and that she is just a burden...
I don't know what to do and I'm really really scared of losing her. I have already told her that she should find someone professional to talk to but she says she doesn't trust them.
Any advice?
One of my best friends is suffering from depression and I think she is suicidal. We talk about it sometimes but it doesn't feel like I'm helping. She says she don't want us to be friends anymore because she has bad influence on me. Her reasoning is that I'm such a happy person and deserve better.
I tell her the only reason I'm sad is because I care for her (which I do very much) but she doesn't believe me. She told me that she believes me when I'm saying it to her, face to face but when I'm not with her and she starts to think about it she stops believing I really care for her. She probably thinks no one cares for her and that she is just a burden...
I don't know what to do and I'm really really scared of losing her. I have already told her that she should find someone professional to talk to but she says she doesn't trust them.
Any advice?
Get her to seek therapy. There is no other advice.
trab pu kcip
Member
I can relate to this but please keep in mind that results don't always show instantly-the simple fact that you're trying to change your way of thinking means progress to your brain, you may not feel it yet but if you keep it up it will settle in. it just takes some time so don't give up! a couple month of peace is a good start after all if you ask me, so you're definitely on the right track. it's normal for your brain to fall back into old habits from time to time but it will happen less often.
on a different note: I feel like I have too much spare time lately, it's temporary but I know it's not doing me any good. staying home makes me think too much and thus go crazy yet I can't really enjoy going out and being around people either right now. the old dilemma. I'm really all out of ideas what to do...even movies or games aren't helping and it's like there's no escape from the downward spiral again ~.~ just needed to vent, any tips are appreciated.
trab pu kcip : Long distance day walks really helped me, when I was on the bottom in the 2nd year in college.
I had a mental breakdown on Sunday morning. All things were piling up on me (quite painful breakup, almost got fired at work, problems at home, fear of upcoming eye surgery) and my doctor prescribed me very powerful muscle relaxant for my injured shoulder muscle and when I stopped taking it on Friday, abstinence shock kicked in and pushed me over the edge.
Yesterday was one of the worst days in my life. I was crying for almost whole day, shaking all the time, all long forgotten things coming back to haunt me once more. During the night I thought that black shapes are sneaking from the darkness and are trying to choke me. Really horrible stuff.
First thing today, i called my doctor and told her what I experienced. She took a note in my file and she called me back several hours later, that it is quite often reported that patients experienced weird stuff when stopped taking this medicine. She also urged me to call my therapist (i had mental issues on college) and get a session. Which I did and I will begin on Friday. And I was really surprised how family members listen to me this morning.
I had a mental breakdown on Sunday morning. All things were piling up on me (quite painful breakup, almost got fired at work, problems at home, fear of upcoming eye surgery) and my doctor prescribed me very powerful muscle relaxant for my injured shoulder muscle and when I stopped taking it on Friday, abstinence shock kicked in and pushed me over the edge.
Yesterday was one of the worst days in my life. I was crying for almost whole day, shaking all the time, all long forgotten things coming back to haunt me once more. During the night I thought that black shapes are sneaking from the darkness and are trying to choke me. Really horrible stuff.
First thing today, i called my doctor and told her what I experienced. She took a note in my file and she called me back several hours later, that it is quite often reported that patients experienced weird stuff when stopped taking this medicine. She also urged me to call my therapist (i had mental issues on college) and get a session. Which I did and I will begin on Friday. And I was really surprised how family members listen to me this morning.
Has anyone here every used Gabapentin for depression/anxiety? My doc gave it to me as a supplement to the Zoloft but I can't tell if it's really doing anything. Any other experiences here with it?
Maybe try going to a library? It's going out somewhere, but somewhere hopefully quiet without too many people around. You can just pick up a book/comic/manga and start reading. Experience something new!
Maybe try going to a library? It's going out somewhere, but somewhere hopefully quiet without too many people around. You can just pick up a book/comic/manga and start reading. Experience something new!
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
I keep going down to the beach at like, 2 or 3 in the morning, cos its a good long distance, but now I'm afraid of going down there at night now cos I don't know what I might do.
Thanks, I'll try my best to muddle through despite my rebellious mind.
Will talk to my psychiatrist soon about the constant nightmares that have dominated the last month or so though. They are not the worst of what I've been going through but likely the most easily solved. I'm sure there's a proper explanation for it but it feels like my brain is just throwing a hissy fit "You will never sleep peacefully again. Here's horrible dreams about all the things you fear and tmi situations in vivid detail every night !"
trab pu kcip
Member
this actually sounds like a good idea. I could take my dog too.
I'm sorry to hear what you experienced, really sounds horrible. :/ I don't feel like I should give advice on medication issues so I'll just say keep seeking out professional help and hang in there man!
again, no med experience but thanks for your advice, I don't think I'll be able to concentrate on reading much since I can't even sit through one movie on my own right now but it's a good idea to be outside and still not overwhelmed by social interaction.
User 479360
Banned
It's been one of those days. One where I'm tired and bored, but want to do something. However, I just sit around, waiting for emails to appear, a message on an online dating site or a text.
I'm really just bored out of my mind and in a really depressive state, though.
Things are going better with my family, health-wise, and I'm being tested for lupus. But I'm always tired, not sleeping well and having no luck dating-wise. It wasn't such a big deal before, but now that's my obsession. All I want is a nice, accepting woman to spend time with, cuddle with, do things with, etc. It's not even about the sex, though I'd want that to be an option after however many dates.
I crave a relationship, but feel like I've exhausted all avenues. A friend did ask me to be her friend-with-benefits, but she's got a boyfriend who lives elsewhere and I don't want to be the guy who's screwing over some likely nice guy. Apparently he's like me: introverted and geeky.
I send messages out to women, but they're usually ignored or the conversation peters out because I'm boring.
I'm really just bored out of my mind and in a really depressive state, though.
Things are going better with my family, health-wise, and I'm being tested for lupus. But I'm always tired, not sleeping well and having no luck dating-wise. It wasn't such a big deal before, but now that's my obsession. All I want is a nice, accepting woman to spend time with, cuddle with, do things with, etc. It's not even about the sex, though I'd want that to be an option after however many dates.
I crave a relationship, but feel like I've exhausted all avenues. A friend did ask me to be her friend-with-benefits, but she's got a boyfriend who lives elsewhere and I don't want to be the guy who's screwing over some likely nice guy. Apparently he's like me: introverted and geeky.
I send messages out to women, but they're usually ignored or the conversation peters out because I'm boring.
I think that dog will be very happy with that, plus you will have a company. Just go out for a walk, even if it rains,you will feel better for sure
Thanks for good wishes, really appreciate that.Today, I feel a bit better (only one nightmare this night) but atmosphere at work will drag me down in the afternoon and I simply have no energy to even start browsing for a new job, because I will only get more depressed. And I have another issue - when I am down, I simply cannot eat anything. Even soup turns my stomach around. Well, I hope that Friday will be here soon..
Just looking for a bit of advice, hope someone here can help. I've posted a few times about my anxiety and recently it's holding me back from doing something I want to do.
I was just wondering if anyone had any tips to get over the fear of doing something new and being stopped by anxiety or depression? I'm finding it frustrating, there's such an excitement about trying something new that I then panic and think that there will be lots of people there and they could all potentially judge me and make me not welcomed.
(I am a catastrophic thinker)
I was just wondering if anyone had any tips to get over the fear of doing something new and being stopped by anxiety or depression? I'm finding it frustrating, there's such an excitement about trying something new that I then panic and think that there will be lots of people there and they could all potentially judge me and make me not welcomed.
(I am a catastrophic thinker)
trab pu kcip
Member
I did it. it was actuallly pretty rainy and stormy but it was fun battling the elements. maybe I'll do it more often. and my dog was happy too, so at least I wasn't a complete waste of time and space today haha.I think that dog will be very happy with that, plus you will have a company. Just go out for a walk, even if it rains,you will feel better for sure
Today, I feel a bit better (only one nightmare this night) but atmosphere at work will drag me down in the afternoon and I simply have no energy to even start browsing for a new job, because I will only get more depressed. And I have another issue - when I am down, I simply cannot eat anything. Even soup turns my stomach around. Well, I hope that Friday will be here soon..
glad to hear you're doing a bit better. I have the same problem with food...I kinda am starving but as soon as I eat just a bit I feel nauseous, and it's like I'm not even in the mood to eat something. it's really annoying :l maybe wait until you're really hungry in the evening and only then eat something. works for me sometimes. just until things go back to normal of course, I guess it's pretty unhealthy on a longterm scale.
I've had my problems with anxiety too, it's a bitch, but it has gotten better. it really depends on your specific situation but have you tried looking at what was posted in the OP? I found some of these things quite useful.
CheesecakeRecipe
Stormy Grey
CrushDance
Banned
Talked to someone today, she said "you focus on the negatives too much, what about all the positives people say". I Told her, "People say a lot of things, the good they say about you, they never defend past the words leaving their mouths. The negatives though, those hang on because they're already pushing you away." She told me that there is no guarantee that I'll be lonely forever, I told her that there was no guarantee that I wouldn't be.
It's funny. Some argue that ones mindset is what matters the most when doing something. Yet that very same mindset, is largely shaped in part by how we experience things. And not all of us have the same experiences, even if we grow up in the same places or even families. Yes, your mindset can help stave off terrible thoughts, reject good ones even. But the best currency in life, is that of action. People will always say sweet things to you, people will call you their friend, love, etc. And those very same people will not even think twice about you after you're in the ground.
I thought about ending it many times, more frequently over the last few years. But the one thing that's kept me going is my anger and how two faced people are. So, instead of killing myself like an idiot, I'm going to be reckless and give the world back what it's given me. We all need "thick skin" right? To move on and let things go? I wonder how the people who say those things, will react when it's their turn under the wheel.
It's funny. Some argue that ones mindset is what matters the most when doing something. Yet that very same mindset, is largely shaped in part by how we experience things. And not all of us have the same experiences, even if we grow up in the same places or even families. Yes, your mindset can help stave off terrible thoughts, reject good ones even. But the best currency in life, is that of action. People will always say sweet things to you, people will call you their friend, love, etc. And those very same people will not even think twice about you after you're in the ground.
I thought about ending it many times, more frequently over the last few years. But the one thing that's kept me going is my anger and how two faced people are. So, instead of killing myself like an idiot, I'm going to be reckless and give the world back what it's given me. We all need "thick skin" right? To move on and let things go? I wonder how the people who say those things, will react when it's their turn under the wheel.
Good to hear, just keep it doing as much as possible.
Well, i got drenched on todays walk, when sudden rain caught me on the middle of the road walking back home. But I laughed and walked back home with normal pace.
I tried your advice, waited until the evening and managed to eat a sandwich and chocolate pudding. With problems, because some dark thoughts returned during supper
But it will be good for a start. During my first major breakdown, I lost more than 15 kgs and had issues with eating for almost half a year, before I could eat whole pizza
I just hope for a peaceful night tonight, because I am quite tired. And when I am too tired, I can quickly succumb to wrong thoughts...
Parmadillo Marshmallow
Member
My doctor recommended 200mg of Theanine and 300mg of 5-HTP per day. She said it is likely to work as well as the SRRI's after 4-6 weeks, without any significant side effects. Anyone try this combo?
BlueSummers
Member
Nothing from his twitter since the other night
Does anyone know of a way of contacting him IRL to at least make sure he is alright?
MisterLuffy
Member
Thanks, but I'm not interested in meeting people. I guess I want to be in a status where I'm really useful and active instead of being a sloth the whole time.
CheesecakeRecipe
Stormy Grey
Some members do, though I have not heard anything back from them yet on if they've been able to get in touch. I have hopes that he is being helped at the moment which would explain the radio silence.
Ally of Justice
Member
I'm probably being laid off today or tomorrow. My job, simplified, is to program the creation of sales reports and related stuff for a company by programming a web page to make them. For a couple weeks, I've been told to only fix a couple things, like table margins, colors and minimal stuff, which takes about 5-10 minutes. The last week and what's been of this one, I haven't been told to do anything nor I can do anything. Everything that has to be done or created has already been done. And they can't have someone doing nothing around...
I'm the main provider of my family (I'm 23 years old, still live with my parents, my father can't find a job and my brother is a lazy bum that hasn't even finished high school, despite being 2 years younger than me) and I've suffered from depression for almost half a year now.
To be honest, I'm not even comfortable with my job anymore, I have to spend 75 MXN (about 5 USD) every day in commuting costs when my biweekly salary is 2000 MXN (about 130 USD), having to work four days a week.
While that seems horrible, it was the best I could get that let me take half a day in order to go to school on afternoons (used to work and study, 6 days a week). Due to a depression episode, I had to leave school.
My problem is that now I'm even more depressed than when I lost school. and thus, I can barely muster enough strength to even get up from bed every morning. Needless to say, my self-esteem is so low that I can't even think about going into job interviews or anything like that.
Due to me losing school and dedicating so much time to work, I've lost all of my friends (that haven't talked to me in half a year), the only person that will talk to me is my ex-gf and she often gets mad at me for small things or when I'm too sad, but she says she still cares, she still says she loves me (but not in the sense that she wants to be my gf again) and sometimes I can still talk with her about my problems.
So, to quote that image that's around online:
"The light inside has broken, but I still work"
I'm the main provider of my family (I'm 23 years old, still live with my parents, my father can't find a job and my brother is a lazy bum that hasn't even finished high school, despite being 2 years younger than me) and I've suffered from depression for almost half a year now.
To be honest, I'm not even comfortable with my job anymore, I have to spend 75 MXN (about 5 USD) every day in commuting costs when my biweekly salary is 2000 MXN (about 130 USD), having to work four days a week.
While that seems horrible, it was the best I could get that let me take half a day in order to go to school on afternoons (used to work and study, 6 days a week). Due to a depression episode, I had to leave school.
My problem is that now I'm even more depressed than when I lost school. and thus, I can barely muster enough strength to even get up from bed every morning. Needless to say, my self-esteem is so low that I can't even think about going into job interviews or anything like that.
Due to me losing school and dedicating so much time to work, I've lost all of my friends (that haven't talked to me in half a year), the only person that will talk to me is my ex-gf and she often gets mad at me for small things or when I'm too sad, but she says she still cares, she still says she loves me (but not in the sense that she wants to be my gf again) and sometimes I can still talk with her about my problems.
So, to quote that image that's around online:
"The light inside has broken, but I still work"
User 479360
Banned
There's nothing like going out and having a good first date with a girl you've been talking to online, running a quick errand 15 minutes away, then coming home and being shat on by a parent. Both for being a lazy piece of shit (because there's nothing wrong with you - you just make excuses, and you're not doing anything while you're waiting for therapeutic and medical referrals) and because you do nothing (though you looked after disabled family members this morning, while he went out swimming with another one), and help practically every day.
So much for the good mood.
I guess I should've put gas in the vehicle, but I didn't use much and don't have an income, really. Still waiting to be able to apply to disability. And it all started because I took two pieces of cut up pineapple.
I love life.
So much for the good mood.
I guess I should've put gas in the vehicle, but I didn't use much and don't have an income, really. Still waiting to be able to apply to disability. And it all started because I took two pieces of cut up pineapple.
I love life.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
I was in the hospital. A I don't know for long or what procedures.. I my parents took me.
I'm still very confused.
I'm still very confused.
CheesecakeRecipe
Stormy Grey
Thank god. I was worried, Fishy. :c
I don't want to pry, so whatever you want to say about it is fine, but I hope you recover as best as possible.
Take care of yourself. Your friends all have your back. We're all here for you. <3
User 479360
Banned
Indeed. Hoping you're okay.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
I I can't speak write still
I should have jumped.
I should have jumped.
We need you here with us.
I always hate looking at LinkenIn or shit like that which has all of the people I went to graduate school with and seeing how successful they are as post-docs/professors/researchers and looking at myself who has been unemployed for eight months and only might have a job as a lab tech.
Lol.
Lol.
- Status