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[Baconsaurus Rex]

i understand, i should go to the library and find some poetry.

Write her a crown of sonnets

 

[tranciful]

First time meeting someone from OKCupid last night (first time I'd ever gone on a date with someone I'd met on a dating site). We went to a late night event at the Dallas Museum of Art. Good choice for first date. Lots of opportunity for goofing around, talking, and getting comfortable with each other -- walk her to her car and make that first kiss happen.

oh, hey, by the way, what's the general view on "quirky"? That's grounds for friendzone dismissal, right?

To clarify, she described you as "quirky"? You're probably overthinking it. Maybe quirky is something she's looking for.

This isn't specifically directed at you (though it might apply), but in general I think it'd be helpful for people to post some of the conversations they're having on OKCupid so others can coach them a bit. I'll bet 99% of the time, the problem is guys playing it too safe.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Quirky = not boring = good thing

 

[tranciful]

It's a shame that she has to do the initiative and I'm going to change that, I will. Believe me, there were some great moments to kiss her. We were watching a movie while she was sitting on my lap. Was doing everything right, putting my hand between her thighs and slowly moving them up her skirt... She turned her head and I looked at her, faces 10cm away from each other and I just looked away... This happened multiple times and afterwards she even asked me if I was afraid to kiss her back then. Yep... Tomorrow will be another day, a day to make this up to her.

Sorry but this is kind of funny. She asked if you were afraid to kiss her and you didn't kiss her right then and there? And you've practically felt her up while she was sitting in your lap? She's obviously into you (most girls would probably want to kiss before you start reaching up their skirt..). I don't care if you've never kissed a girl in your life, next time just make the move as soon as possible. It might be awkward as fuck but you can just laugh it off afterward -- the important part is that you'd get over that hump and show her you aren't literally afraid to kiss her.

 

[Hypereides]

I figure I should post here just because my situation is...well...weird.

Back on New Year's Eve at a big 100 person party I was heavily flirting with a girl that I've been friends with for over 2 years and she was definitely responding. Her ex (breakup 3 months previously) was also there and I think you may see where this is going. He threatened to punch me out if I didn't back off which obviously I ignored.

When I was leaving the party, I went to say goodbye to her and she surprised me with a kiss. Now obviously I'm an idiot because I didn't immediately kiss her back but whatever, I'm not going to worry about that. I talked to her for about 2 hours a couple days later and it comes out that she's had a crush on me for quite a while and etc. This is obviously a good thing.

However, we went out last weekend and she just seemed physically distant. I'm a guy, I like touch. It doesn't have to be crazy or anything, a touch on the arm, an arm around you, whatever. I did all these things and I got nothing back. I don't know if she's nervous or what but it's a confusing message when she's the one that first kissed me (yes, she was tipsy, but she said she didn't regret it).

We'll be out again tonight so I'll have to see how it goes.

I think we got an influencial jealous ex-boyfriend on our hands. He might be cockblocking you. You may need to diffuse him otherwise he will keep holding her back.

Also, she might be overwhelmed by your positive response to her confession.

The guy sounds like he may still be emotionally attached to her. Its a good thing you ignored his threat. It was an obvious bluff. A test IMO.

You know what sucks??? When I was with my ex-gf I could make her come multiple times during intercourse easy but with my current gf I'm having the hardest time to even make her come once

As mentioned by some dudes here, some girls have a harder time coming than others. I dont know what youve tried, but you should try being imaginative. Be experimental. Be playful.

Im not sure, but I think I read once that women are 5000x more sensitive in their genital area than men. Could be an urban legend, I dont know for sure.

You might even want to try casually question/solicit her after a bed session, and extract info about her turn ons: Roleplay, dominance, toys, submission, choking, outfits/costumes, positions, fantasies, kinks, unique fetishes, dirty talk, other forms of rough/gentle sex etc. etc. blablabla. yadda-yadda-yadda...

Spoiler

My ex had dreams and fantasies about being seduced by a stranger, a gentleman, wearing a venecian mask, complete in a classy, elegant, black suit, dominanting every part of her and her desire. Its kinda how we met. I totally dug it.

While youre in intercourse, you can always try feeling around. Stimulate/caressing her body in different ways. Observe/sense her body reactions for hints (i.e: stimulating her anus gentlely - carefully, and listen to her moaning. Obviously some girls will find it intrusive, but you will learn from it, and move on).

Hopefully I can get the band going and have time for it, would be a hell of a lot of fun.

You wont believe how many rockstar musicians have used an axe to slay the oppesite sex. Its almost enchanting. Not to forget a display of charm, charisma, experience and passion.

Obviously its safe to say that everyone enjoys, knows, or even loves music. Its a great casual conversation topic. Girls/women will be thrilled to talk to an experienced and knowledgable musician (pro. or amateur regardless).

My apartment is decorated with guitars. While they're decorations, I seldom play them. But If I were any good, I wouldnt hestiate.

Since you obviously love and practice music, you should make it your forte.

I mean at all. She has some major insecurity issues because of what happened to her as a child and because of the way guys have treated her as an adult (mostly because she has been a walkover). We have been together for 4 years now and things have improved a bit as she gets comfortable with me but it's slow going.

My biggest concern is she doesn't really know how to have a vaginal orgasm and this makes me sad really. She is missing out on so much but she just can't let herself relax and enjoy it.

I really wish I could be of more help. Or be a therapist. But this is obviously not a matter within my region. Its much deeper-rooted than I can reach.

Regardless, Im glad on your behalf that youve stayed together for so long.

 

[Mr.City]

First, thank you for taking the time to write out such a long and detailed post. Regarding the above, I don't believe I've been approaching situations with the intent to have sex. Simply put, sex is something that I honestly really do not expect at all, especially through social situations. I cannot recall a time when I've ever approached a girl thinking of sex. Though, that could be because whenever I see a very sexually attractive girl, I never approach them at all, since they usually are already taken or well out of my league. All I can do is watch.

Well, I go to two gyms actually, and have a personal trainer. I can usually make some small talk with him and other members at that one gym (the other gym is a regular public gym and there's no one there to talk to that's under 70 it seems). I make small talk with my co-workers (soon to be ex-coworkers once my job ends really soon :*( ) as well. But the thing is, the small talk never seems to go anywhere. I freely admit I'm a horrid conversationalist and have zero clue whether someone is enjoying talking to me or not. So, I can small talk people just fine, but nothing else seems to happen. I'm honestly not sure what is supposed to happen (maybe nothing?) after a lot of small talk.

Hmm. Honestly I don't know if I've made much progress then. I definitely feel I still have shy tendencies while talking to someone because I sometimes catch myself not looking into people's eyes or perhaps talking in a very low volume. And that's when I'm able to catch myself, so who knows how bad it is when I'm not even focusing on it.

Well, that's kind of you to say. I seem to get that a lot when it comes to people online. When it comes to real life though, so far haven't found that same sentiment anywhere. But it's a hard thing for me to grasp that someone would actually want to be friends with me, since I'm not so sure what benefit I can offer anyone for giving me that privilege.

I really think you should be banned again. In the time you've spent back in Girl Age, it's been nothing but this very detailed insight into why you lead such a sad and lonely life. It's like I have the habit of punching myself in the dick, and I could write pages upon pages about it, like how I feel during, before, and after, the angle at which my fist smashes into my dong, reasons why I think it's a good idea, reasons why I think it's a bad idea, and so on. However, I'm still punching my dick at the end of day, and nothing has improved.

Every time you venture outward, which you do less and less now, you seek external validation. People didn't notice me, so it was a failure. People weren't excited to talk to me, so it was a failure. However, you expect failure and disappointment so much that you disregard any good things that do happen.

Listen, fellas, Combine has been reading some self help books and either plays games instead of reading them or "scoffs" at them for suggesting that he isn't some limp-dicked, forever along loser. He thinks everything is a contest, so I would imagine sex would be a nightmare for him.

 

[Hypereides]

I really think you should be banned again. In the time you've spent back in Girl Age, it's been nothing but this very detailed insight into why you lead such a sad and lonely life. It's like I have the habit of punching myself in the dick, and I could write pages upon pages about it, like how I feel during, before, and after, the angle at which my fist smashes into my dong, reasons why I think it's a good idea, reasons why I think it's a bad idea, and so on. However, I'm still punching my dick at the end of day, and nothing has improved.

Every time you venture outward, which you do less and less now, you seek external validation. People didn't notice me, so it was a failure. People weren't excited to talk to me, so it was a failure. However, you expect failure and disappointment so much that you disregard any good things that do happen.

Listen, fellas, Combine has been reading some self help books and either plays games instead of reading them or "scoffs" at them for suggesting that he isn't some limp-dicked, forever along loser. He thinks everything is a contest, so I would imagine sex would be a nightmare for him.

Thats kinda demeaning. The man has tons of patience, which is an inspiring and incredible virtue. And extremely important in this thread.

Then again, I havent been following Combine's situation much. Despite that I believe he will eventually improve. It may not be today, tomorrow, this week, this month... but as long as he keeps struggling and shows commitment he will find what he is searching for.

Besides the point of this thread is to inspire positivity, not discourage members from taking risks. The right risks. His case is individual and so is everybody elses here. And thus far he hasnt given up, in my opinion.

Then again I might be talking outta my ass. But thats my 2 dimes.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

Sorry but this is kind of funny. She asked if you were afraid to kiss her and you didn't kiss her right then and there? And you've practically felt her up while she was sitting in your lap? She's obviously into you (most girls would probably want to kiss before you start reaching up their skirt..). I don't care if you've never kissed a girl in your life, next time just make the move as soon as possible. It might be awkward as fuck but you can just laugh it off afterward -- the important part is that you'd get over that hump and show her you aren't literally afraid to kiss her.

I've kissed her a few times before but it just doesn't feel good to me, I think. It is weird, I love her and all but kissing is just not my thing. But I kissed her today, am not going to destroy this thing because I don't want to kiss. I just need to be the macho man that she deserves.

 

[greenry]

Thats kinda demeaning. The man has tons of patience, which is an inspiring and incredible virtue. And extremely important in this thread.

Then again, I havent been following Combine's situation much. Despite that I believe he will eventually improve. It may not be today, tomorrow, this week, this month... but as long as he keeps struggling and shows commitment he will find what he is searching for.

Besides the point of this thread is to inspire positivity, not discourage members from to taking risks. The right risks. His case is individual and so is everybody elses here. And thus far he hasnt given up, in my opinion.

Then again I might be talking outta my ass. But thats my 2 dimes.

Mr City has a mean hard on for him. I find his post about Combine more pathetic than anything Combine has ever posted.

 

[Black-Box]

First time meeting someone from OKCupid last night (first time I'd ever gone on a date with someone I'd met on a dating site). We went to a late night event at the Dallas Museum of Art. Good choice for first date. Lots of opportunity for goofing around, talking, and getting comfortable with each other -- walk her to her car and make that first kiss happen.



To clarify, she described you as "quirky"? You're probably overthinking it. Maybe quirky is something she's looking for.

This isn't specifically directed at you (though it might apply), but in general I think it'd be helpful for people to post some of the conversations they're having on OKCupid so others can coach them a bit. I'll bet 99% of the time, the problem is guys playing it too safe.

in your first message what did you say, or like what do you generally say to girls that message you back, because I have tried every way I know

 

[Osietra]

The basic ingredient to not having much sex pie is the fear of rejection. The more less is added, the more you will get used to rejection, and learn to deal with it. Then you are given options. Like start working out, read some books. Girls love words. Otherwise rape, which is an obviously bad option.

 

[Atramental]

I wonder if someone like Tony Robbins could get Combine motivated.

 

[Combine]

Mr City has a mean hard on for him. I find his post about Combine more pathetic than anything Combine has ever posted.

Hey guys, if anything City's probably got the most invested in my progress out of anyone who's not me. The man knows patience and has it in spades as he's been the only one I've been able to chat with online for extended periods of time through FB. Heck, he's been more of a therapist than the ones I've had to pay for, I wish I could give him all the money I spent on them.

His frustrations are justified since he sees repeated patterns in my behavior and how it's a big freaking roller-coaster with how my mood can be up one day and in the dumps the next (and it tends to be the latter most of the time). It certainly doesn't do any good to hear me continue to berate myself for things. Though it hasn't helped that I've had a good deal of bad news thrown my way lately, and impending unemployment is never something to easily sleep on.

It's funny, like I have a persecution complex, but not because I feel it from others, but from myself.

But how do I build trust in others? How can I believe that there are people out there who'd want to be my friend when I still don't even really know what a friend is? When would I even know when someone else becomes my friend?

 

[Mr.City]

I wonder if someone like Tony Robbins could get Combine motivated.

A live-in life coach would be best.

I see a lot of posters posting about the fear. I think the best question to ask is what the fear comes from. Does the fear come from judgement? Does it come from taking a moment where you made a mistake and building a monument to it everyday?

 

[PflargBlarg]

I think we got an influencial jealous ex-boyfriend on our hands. He might be cockblocking you. You may need to diffuse him otherwise he will keep holding her back.

Also, she might be overwhelmed by your positive response to her confession.

The guy sounds like he may still be emotionally attached to her. Its a good thing you ignored his threat. It was an obvious bluff. A test IMO.

Yeah, I feel like this situation won't really be dealt with until he sees us together and gets it through his head that it's over. Also, I later heard that he called her a whore, presumably because when she kissed me he was standing about 3 feet away. I think it's a tough spot because they were together for 6 years, and even though it's been 4 months now, it's hard to disentangle from 6 years.

I think you're on the money though with her being overwhelmed in combination with the end of such a long relationship. I know she was afraid of it being a rebound thing and is probably taking it slow because of that. We've been pretty frank with each other so my intentions are clear and she probably needs time to clear up her feelings. I know she's into me, and is simultaneously afraid of accidentally stringing me along. She really is a wonderful girl, I think it's just a matter of time.

Oh also, that other date I was talking about didn't happen because she lives 1 - 1.5 hours away from me and the roads were sheets of ice. But she did spend an hour clearing her car out from its icy tomb in an attempt to see me before deciding it was too dangerous.

 

[Atramental]

A live-in life coach would be best.

I see a lot of posters posting about the fear. I think the best question to ask is what the fear comes from. Does the fear come from judgement? Does it come from taking a moment where you made a mistake and building a monument to it everyday?

Fear of failure is my biggest fear.

I think that's why I do so well in school because if I did bad on a test or a project I would feel like shit.

And I think that's what keeps me from asking girls out because if I got rejected I would feel like an absolute failure.

 

[Boozeroony]

Why are you talking about 'risk' here? We're dealing with women, not polar bears.

 

[threenote]

how DTF is a girl when she says this:

"Oh really? I can't even imagine what you have in store for me haha dirty little threenote"

it was in response to this text I sent her: I told her that she has no idea what I'm going to do her tomorrow.

I'm seeing her tomorrow, and I need to fuuuck. Blue balls is a bitch.

 

[Boozeroony]

how DTF is a girl when she says this:

"Oh really? I can't even imagine what you have in store me haha dirty little threenote"

it was in response to this text I sent her: I told her that she has no idea what I'm going to do her tomorrow.

I'm seeing her tomorrow, and I need to fuuuck. Blue balls is a bitch.

You're already balls-deep in, good sir. Have a good one.

 

[threenote]

You're already balls-deep in, good sir. Have a good one.

many thanks, good sir. See you on the other side dating-gaf.

 

[Hypereides]

So I just asked this girl out that i knew from high school and she said "Sure we could go on a date for Valentine's day but I'm moving to Virginia on March 1st. " I'm mad as hell. I really liked her to. But I didn't realize how much I liked her until I went to her house and got some one on one time with her last weekend.

Dude, jesus christ, take her out, see what happens. And Valentines day!?... could she be anymore suggestive? A.k.A shes giving you a set period of time to make your move. Shes giving you a chance.

Grab ahold of your grenade testicles and do something about it. Agree to meet up.

If all goes well, stay in contact.

I take it, it means she will be on long distance, but if shes really into you she will make sacrifices to come and see you.

Doesn't matter as much if you're not that good looking. Be confident. Be creative in your profile but not overboard or stupid(like don't make your username "Dave1234" but also not "SexSlong69"). Exaggerate a little like a resume, put your good features and maybe make them seem a bit better than they really are and lets just forget those negatives for now. Don't contact 1 girl, contact several at a time. And make the message personal. Girls on those sites would get hundreds of messages so make yours stand out. No copy and pasting, no "Hello, you looked nice would you like to chat?". Point out some things on her profile showing that you read it.

Agreed. Actually yesterday I read one of the best online dating profiles Ive seen in a while by Timedog. If I had his permission I'd post it. Shit was funny as fuck!

It should be an example to those into online dating.

 

[soundahfekz]

Hey guys, if anything City's probably got the most invested in my progress out of anyone who's not me. The man knows patience and has it in spades as he's been the only one I've been able to chat with online for extended periods of time through FB. Heck, he's been more of a therapist than the ones I've had to pay for, I wish I could give him all the money I spent on them.

His frustrations are justified since he sees repeated patterns in my behavior and how it's a big freaking roller-coaster with how my mood can be up one day and in the dumps the next (and it tends to be the latter most of the time). It certainly doesn't do any good to hear me continue to berate myself for things. Though it hasn't helped that I've had a good deal of bad news thrown my way lately, and impending unemployment is never something to easily sleep on.

It's funny, like I have a persecution complex, but not because I feel it from others, but from myself.

But how do I build trust in others? How can I believe that there are people out there who'd want to be my friend when I still don't even really know what a friend is? When would I even know when someone else becomes my friend?

You need a coach and a friend all in one. There's just simply too much being lost in text for you. That isn't meant to be offensive. Simply talking to someone who is confident and successful about these things might do wonders for you, as you may start to pick up on tonal cues and how to communicate verbally with confidence. This can be a hurdle if you've never been introduced or acquainted with socially confident people.

I'm just taking a different angle here, Do you have anyone in your life that you know in person, or at least talk through via phone/skype or whatever that has been successful in dating and is confident?

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Thanks fellas. I actually bought a sex position book and sex dice so hopefully that will spice things up....

 

[tranciful]

in your first message what did you say, or like what do you generally say to girls that message you back, because I have tried every way I know

She actually messaged me first.

My profile has some playful jokes in it (related to myself) and a lot of the messages girls send me will play off those. The messages we send back and forth are about getting to know each other, but you might want to save some stuff for the first date (I picked the art museum because it'd give plenty conversation pieces). I asked her out on the 4th message, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference if I'd done it on the 3rd. In this case, we talked about tea, what part of town we lived/worked in (what we did/didn't like about it, etc), what we are doing now and want to do in the near future, etc. With another girl, I've been talking whether dinosaurs or octopus are cooler. Sometimes the topics are playful, sometimes you can talk about something mundane in a playful way.

I'm no pick up artist, but I have the most success (and fun) when I'm being playful. I'm naturally a goofball though. My profile is playful and positive (some probably think it's cheesy). I think it depends on you and the kind of girls you want to attract -- what I do wouldn't work for all guys and it'd probably turn off some girls. Luckily it's working well for me and I'm meeting some interesting girls.

In general, I think OKCupid should be seen as just another tool in your toolchest. It's still important to make an effort to leave your house, be social and meet people. Pick up a new hobby or just find a local meetup.com group. If you're single, having an OKCupid profile certainly won't hurt anything though.

 

[Xun]

You wont believe how many rockstar musicians have used an axe to slay the oppesite sex. Its almost enchanting. Not to forget a display of charm, charisma, experience and passion.

Obviously its safe to say that everyone enjoys, knows, or even loves music. Its a great casual conversation topic. Girls/women will be thrilled to talk to an experienced and knowledgable musician (pro. or amateur regardless).

My apartment is decorated with guitars. While they're decorations, I seldom play them. But If I were any good, I wouldnt hestiate.

Since you obviously love and practice music, you should make it your forte.

Very true.

I'll be getting the band together in a few weeks, but I just hope I'll be able to keep it going when I have a full time job (been out of college for a while now).

 

[ultim8p00]

dlo,

 

[Slavik81]

She actually messaged me first.

My profile has some playful jokes in it (related to myself) and a lot of the messages girls send me will play off those. The messages we send back and forth are about getting to know each other, but you might want to save some stuff for the first date (I picked the art museum because it'd give plenty conversation pieces). I asked her out on the 4th message, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference if I'd done it on the 3rd. In this case, we talked about tea, what part of town we lived/worked in (what we did/didn't like about it, etc), what we are doing now and want to do in the near future, etc. With another girl, I've been talking whether dinosaurs or octopus are cooler. Sometimes the topics are playful, sometimes you can talk about something mundane in a playful way.

I'm no pick up artist, but I have the most success (and fun) when I'm being playful. I'm naturally a goofball though. My profile is playful and positive (some probably think it's cheesy). I think it depends on you and the kind of girls you want to attract -- what I do wouldn't work for all guys and it'd probably turn off some girls. Luckily it's working well for me and I'm meeting some interesting girls.

In general, I think OKCupid should be seen as just another tool in your toolchest. It's still important to make an effort to leave your house, be social and meet people. Pick up a new hobby or just find a local meetup.com group. If you're single, having an OKCupid profile certainly won't hurt anything though.

This is a good post. I'm no expert, but it sounds like healthy advice.

 

[Sanky Panky]

Well fellas, I'm once again joining the ranks of singleton gaf, with a newfound I-don't-give-a-fuck-ness about relationships in general.

Today I broke up with the most perfect girl (albeit the craziest) for me I have dated, and I wonder if I made a mistake every second. Won't post it here, but there is a thread explaining the situaion.. In short, two months after dating, she was still angry/sad about her breakup with a long-time ex. She's scared about trusting someone new.

She said she never wanted a break, that she was no longer going to be friends with the friends in common with the ex, that all she wanted was for us to slow down (that maybe it was the title of bf and gf that freaked her out a bit). I kept my stance that she wasn't ready for a relationship and needed time alone. She accused me of not talking about it, of deciding for her what to do, and just quitting the relationship without putting in the effort to fix it.

I feel like a dumbass.

 

[Miguel]

Well looks like the girl and I split, writing was on the wall but now it's done. She didn't want to try to work things out due to being limited on time due to our new jobs. I'm not convinced that's the real reason but no time to dwell on it. It's time to move on. A month of dating plus another 3 weeks of kinda dating, was mostly fun, a huge learning experience, but I haven't gotten What I wanted out of this for the past 2 weeks, And had already prepared for it somewhat.

Back on okc later tonight. Want to redo my profile so I may post the result here later.

 

[Black-Box]

She actually messaged me first.

My profile has some playful jokes in it (related to myself) and a lot of the messages girls send me will play off those. The messages we send back and forth are about getting to know each other, but you might want to save some stuff for the first date (I picked the art museum because it'd give plenty conversation pieces). I asked her out on the 4th message, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference if I'd done it on the 3rd. In this case, we talked about tea, what part of town we lived/worked in (what we did/didn't like about it, etc), what we are doing now and want to do in the near future, etc. With another girl, I've been talking whether dinosaurs or octopus are cooler. Sometimes the topics are playful, sometimes you can talk about something mundane in a playful way.

I'm no pick up artist, but I have the most success (and fun) when I'm being playful. I'm naturally a goofball though. My profile is playful and positive (some probably think it's cheesy). I think it depends on you and the kind of girls you want to attract -- what I do wouldn't work for all guys and it'd probably turn off some girls. Luckily it's working well for me and I'm meeting some interesting girls.

In general, I think OKCupid should be seen as just another tool in your toolchest. It's still important to make an effort to leave your house, be social and meet people. Pick up a new hobby or just find a local meetup.com group. If you're single, having an OKCupid profile certainly won't hurt anything though.

thanks, i gave up on looking outside the house, as I said before, I get friend zoned soo much it is pretty much my part time job. my profiles are straight forward, I don't know how to make it anymore, I guess I am just a boring person, maybe I need to get out more to bars and clubs.

you are soo lucky, that girls message you, I gots lots to learn!

 

[Combine]

You need a coach and a friend all in one. There's just simply too much being lost in text for you. That isn't meant to be offensive. Simply talking to someone who is confident and successful about these things might do wonders for you, as you may start to pick up on tonal cues and how to communicate verbally with confidence. This can be a hurdle if you've never been introduced or acquainted with socially confident people.

I think I see what you're saying here. One of the problems with text for me has been the ability to tell when someone is being sarcastic or joking, as I tend to take people at their word (which is odd since I think I'm naturally distrustful of others) through text. I have a feeling that my inability to do online dating is likely related to this and that I have no idea how to form a message that doesn't seem too clinical/business-oriented.

I'm just taking a different angle here, Do you have anyone in your life that you know in person, or at least talk through via phone/skype or whatever that has been successful in dating and is confident?

So, just to make sure here, you're saying someone I have to actually speak to (no text at all) in person (with a voice)? No, I have never spoken to anyone or talked about this sort of thing to anyone that would fit that criteria. Outside of my family, the only people I've talked to about this stuff are my therapist and shrink. Both of which are much older people.

 

[Miguel]

Right before I go to her page to block her, I see her new profile pic of the ex and her. Haha, my track record for sniffing things out is outstanding, should have acted on it sooner like ConradCervantes said, but now, time to finish redoing my profile and then watch a movie. Also, if anyone is a US soccer fan... WOOOOT!!!! Just got back from the bar, fun crowd with friends/random people watching the game, great time.

 

[Hypereides]

Right before I go to her page to block her, I see her new profile pic of the ex and her. Haha, my track record for sniffing things out is outstanding, should have acted on it sooner like ConradCervantes said, but now, time to finish redoing my profile and then watch a movie. Also, if anyone is a US soccer fan... WOOOOT!!!! Just got back from the bar, fun crowd with friends/random people watching the game, great time.

Shes trying to get to you. She put it there for a reason. Let it slide and ignore her.

She probably wants you to delete/block her, or get a similiar provoked/aggitated reaction. If you give into that, you'll prove her point that youre weak or some shit.

If I were you, I would just hide her and your updates from now on.

Just keep dating other folks from now on, eventually it will kill her from the inside out.

^All this is, assuming you havent blocked her just yet.^

Glad youre moving on though. Good luck!

 

[Miguel]

Shes trying to get to you. She put it there for a reason. Let it slide and ignore her.

She probably wants you to delete/block her, or get a similiar provoked/aggitated reaction. If you give into that, you'll prove her point that youre weak or some shit.

If I were you, I would just hide her and your updates from now on.

Just keep dating other folks from now on, eventually it will kill her from the inside out.

^All this is, assuming you havent blocked her just yet.^

Glad youre moving on though. Good luck!

I was going to block her regardless of the pic. Just thought I'd note it. "She wins" who cares. lol. The way she broke things off was wishy washy anyway, the entire month of January has been a ton of BS, it was her idea to not be friends on fb for now anyway, she had deleted me by the time I went to block her. I'll post some of the reasons she gave if y'all want, but I want a clean break.

Thanks. Back to the ol' drawing board, just messaged some girl I had been talking to just before we met, so trying to start that up again. We'll see how it goes.

 

[Slayer-33]

I speak Spanish so I don't need a translation but I don't think you guys would need one either...


http://youtu.be/X8kzZL6TV38


That's some smooth shit right there guys. Study.

 

[Kad5]

Well guys i've recently had more luck at attracting women. I basically improved my self-confidence and anxiety over time.

What really substantially helped me the most recently was honestly reflecting on myself with the help of some psychedelics....I won't lie it did help.

But yeah I think its smooth sailing from here guys. I haven't gotten laid or anything but i've had multiple girls hitting on me and it will probably be happening relatively soon.

 

[Slayer-33]

Well guys i've recently had more luck at attracting women. I basically improved my self-confidence and anxiety over time.

What really substantially helped me the most recently was honestly reflecting on myself with the help of some psychedelics....I won't lie it did help.

But yeah I think its smooth sailing from here guys. I haven't gotten laid or anything but i've had multiple girls hitting on me and it will probably be happening relatively soon.

Good job man, attempt to be smooth and calm like that guy in that video, it's a key... That bastard also looks good too so it makes it easier for him lol...

 

[CF_Fighter]

Why does a girl I would totally ask out have to live across the country?! So frustrating! She's been a good friend for a few years now and we have so much in common. She was visiting Disney World this past week and we were able to meet up as I was passing through the area to go up to Gainesville. Had such a blast hanging out with her. One of her best friends was with her and I had never met this girl before, but by the end of the night I had her cracking up. She is overweight, but if she lost some weight she would be an extremely pretty young woman. Was a real self-confidence booster than anything. Her two best friends live here and if she decides to move over here and I live closer to Orlando you can bet I'm going to try and get something going, if I'm available.

But, I can't harp on her. I should focus on girls that are in my area.

 

[SpectreFire]

Thats kinda demeaning. The man has tons of patience, which is an inspiring and incredible virtue. And extremely important in this thread.

Then again, I havent been following Combine's situation much. Despite that I believe he will eventually improve. It may not be today, tomorrow, this week, this month... but as long as he keeps struggling and shows commitment he will find what he is searching for.

Besides the point of this thread is to inspire positivity, not discourage members from taking risks. The right risks. His case is individual and so is everybody elses here. And thus far he hasnt given up, in my opinion.

Then again I might be talking outta my ass. But thats my 2 dimes.

Mr City has a mean hard on for him. I find his post about Combine more pathetic than anything Combine has ever posted.

Boy, you newcomers have a lot to learn about Combine if you're planning on boarding the pity boat for him. I'm willing to bet that the only reason Combine posts here more frequently than he has before, prior to his ban or even shortly after he came back, is because most of the old posters rarely come here anymore and he's found a new stable of people to draw sympathy from.

Mr. City has not said a single thing that was wrong about Combine. Combine needs to stop coming here with his sad stories and go out there and just start doing things without seeking someone's approval every 5 seconds. It's not even new problems he's complaining about, its the same problems he's always had! Nothing we say or do will help him if he doesn't want to help himself.

Also, for the record, I still think he's a joke character.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Well guys i've recently had more luck at attracting women. I basically improved my self-confidence and anxiety over time.

What really substantially helped me the most recently was honestly reflecting on myself with the help of some psychedelics....I won't lie it did help.

But yeah I think its smooth sailing from here guys. I haven't gotten laid or anything but i've had multiple girls hitting on me and it will probably be happening relatively soon.

Just remember, no means no.

 

[LightOfTruth]

Even though Im pretty confident around women, I think I'll be going to the gym whenever I can this semester. I wanna try to widen and buff my shoulders up, first. That and I want to increase my protein. I'm a skinny motherfucker.

Hopefully I'll see any sort of response.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Even though Im pretty confident around women, I think I'll be going to the gym whenever I can this semester. I wanna try to widen and buff my shoulders up, first. That and I want to increase my protein. I'm a skinny motherfucker.

Hopefully I'll see any sort of response.

Do it, regardless of the response. It'll make you feel better/increase your confidence and THAT will be what gets you the response. One of the best things I've ever done for myself was start working out regularly.

Went to a club last night (I hate clubs). Woke up to find about 5 pictures of me and some random smoking hot girl on my phone. Unfortunately, I have no recollection of the events of last night and neither do my friends. All signs point to it being a fantastic trip though.

 

[LightOfTruth]

Do it, regardless of the response. It'll make you feel better/increase your confidence and THAT will be what gets you the response. One of the best things I've ever done for myself was start working out regularly.

Went to a club last night (I hate clubs). Woke up to find about 5 pictures of me and some random smoking hot girl on my phone. Unfortunately, I have no recollection of the events of last night and neither do my friends. All signs point to it being a fantastic trip though.

Definitely. I'm gonna try twice a week at first, and slowly try and make that 4. I just hope that I dont get lazy, lol. I want some actual results.

In regards to your story....just awesome.

 

[ConradCervantes]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Miggy. From what it looks like, you're handling it well, better than I have with my shit.

Saw that you also brought up OkCupid. I just created a profile tonight. Weird how many girls I know I've already found on here.

 

[CloudWolf]

Story time:

I met this girl about 2.5 weeks back at a New Years brunch hosted by some friends from college. I had never seen her before (she's a freshman and I'm a second year student), but we started talking because she was literally the only one there I didn't know and I like to meet people. Anyway, later a mutual friend tells me that apparently she liked me. I had no idea, because I really suck at picking up signals. Anyway, she (the mutual friend) askes me if I like her too and I respond with something along the lines of "She was nice yeah, but I'm not so sure".

Fast forward to a week back and the freshman-girl askes me if I want to go out with her and a few friends last thursday. Of course I say yes. I'm always in for a party. I do mention that I'm going to need a place to sleep because night trains are a bitch and she says it's okay: I can sleep at her place. Of course this could be interpreted as a huge "FUCK ME PLEASE"-sign, but I genuinely didn't think anything of it.

So, thursday night we danced in some club in Amsterdam and I literally did every little date-thing wrong. I didn't do my hair, didn't put any thought into what I wore (which resulted in some very club-inappropriate clothes), fell silent multiple times (I knew no one of the group of friends we we're going out with), left the group multiple times without telling where I was going and hell, I even forgot to put on deodorant. Anyhow, near the end of the night we were suddenly making out. All the time the only thought in my head was "Damn, the mutual friend was right", which is of course pretty strange. I mean, who thinks of another girl (they have no feelings for) while kissing someone?

Anyway, when we were done in the club, me and her went to her place to sleep. I expected she'd put up some some of mattress on the floor for me to lie on. Well, turned out there was just a double bed, so I had to sleep next to her. Well, that went excactly where you think this situation would lead to in shitty romantic comedies and I'm still not sure how to feel about this girl. But at least I'm not a virgin anymore.

TL;DR: I met a girl a few weeks back, we went out on a "first date", lost my V-card and I wasn't even planning on making a move on her.

 

[Orgen]

Well fellas, I'm once again joining the ranks of singleton gaf, with a newfound I-don't-give-a-fuck-ness about relationships in general.

Today I broke up with the most perfect girl (albeit the craziest) for me I have dated, and I wonder if I made a mistake every second. Won't post it here, but there is a thread explaining the situaion.. In short, two months after dating, she was still angry/sad about her breakup with a long-time ex. She's scared about trusting someone new.

She said she never wanted a break, that she was no longer going to be friends with the friends in common with the ex, that all she wanted was for us to slow down (that maybe it was the title of bf and gf that freaked her out a bit). I kept my stance that she wasn't ready for a relationship and needed time alone. She accused me of not talking about it, of deciding for her what to do, and just quitting the relationship without putting in the effort to fix it.

I feel like a dumbass.

This won't be any comfort for you right now but you've made the right choice, believe me.

You have your head in its place and she doesn't. There's nothing for you to put effort or sort out with her, she is the one who has to do this by herself. And when she does then talk to her and see what happens. For now go on with your live and don't keep waiting for her because it's likely that she won't come back to you (but who knows...).

And you know that this "most perfect girl for me" is bullshit and the cause for oneitis. There are thousands of girls out there without drama/emotional baggage or angry about the closure with their exes that will match with you better than this girl. In the end you'll find someone better and you know it so stop feeling like a dumbass

 

[LightOfTruth]

Congrats on the sex man. But it sounds like you should be picking up those signals a bit better, since some girls literally wont make a move unless you do. Its cool, though. Im like you in that way.

Edit: Was addressing cloud.

 

[tranciful]

thanks, i gave up on looking outside the house, as I said before, I get friend zoned soo much it is pretty much my part time job. my profiles are straight forward, I don't know how to make it anymore, I guess I am just a boring person, maybe I need to get out more to bars and clubs.

you are soo lucky, that girls message you, I gots lots to learn!

Yeah when I say go out and meet people in the real world, I don't necessarily mean doing so solely to meet girls. I just think it's important to be social in general, and I think it will help inside and outside of dating.

Throughout highschool and most of college I was very introverted. Over the past few years I've made an effort to work on that by forcing myself out of my comfort zone. It has paid off tremendously. I've been doing great business networking, meeting new friends, and having an easier time meeting girls. I still don't have all that much desire to go to bars and clubs (it's more than okay to not live life for the bar/club scene), but at least I'm not as uncomfortable when I do go to them and I can enjoy myself when I do occasionally go. And if you ask me, going to bars/clubs won't make you more interesting; I'd say you'd be better off picking up new hobbies or having an interesting career. New hobbies are also a good way to meet new people.

In regards to being friendzoned, I think online dating and 'IRL' dating can differ in important ways. With online dating it's important to note that, because you're both on an online dating site, it's usually safe to assume you are both single and looking to date. It's also easier to get to know someone before the first date -- you have a whole profile to read and you can chat some to give you an idea of whether or not you're interested in each other before you even meet in person. So you might be able to get away with being a little more 'friendly' or neutral at first, but I think it still helps if your communication is in sync with your intentions (and remember, your intentions are to meet romantic partners).

When meeting new girls in the wild, I think you have to approach things slightly differently. First, whether or not they're single and looking to date is totally up in the air -- therefor, it's more important to make your intent known. That way if they're not single or interested they can make that fact clear and you won't waste your time. Trust me, I know how strong the tendency may be to become friends with the girl first. You want to get to know them, then take it from close platonic friend to romantic relationship later when you confirm it's worth a shot. But on a practical level, that is hard to do. I think it's much more effective to be upfront about it. As a bonus, it also makes you seem more confident because you're sticking yourself out there. So to conclude: if you're getting friend zoned, I think it's most likely because you're initially coming on as a friend. You aren't clearly communicating that you are romantically interested from the start. I always recommend that instead of saying "we should hang out sometime, can I get your number?" say "how about a date sometime?" and then get her number; that way, everybody's on the same page. And again, it shows you have confidence.

I don't necessarily think online or IRL is better than the other. Whether you get to know them before or during the first date is inconsequential, but as long as you understand how to approach different situations I think you'll be better off.

Also somewhat related: Some girls want platonic guy friends. If they meet a guy who is being very friendly but not romantic, they may get their hopes up that they've met a potential guy friend. Then weeks later when you want to move it to the next level, they're caught off guard and they can even feel like they've been tricked. They are always worrying that their guy friends will suddenly flip and want something romantic. There are some girls who use guys and friendzone them intentionally, sure -- but there are also girls who aren't so evil.

 

[soultron]

Well fellas, I'm once again joining the ranks of singleton gaf, with a newfound I-don't-give-a-fuck-ness about relationships in general.

Today I broke up with the most perfect girl (albeit the craziest) for me I have dated, and I wonder if I made a mistake every second. Won't post it here, but there is a thread explaining the situaion.. In short, two months after dating, she was still angry/sad about her breakup with a long-time ex. She's scared about trusting someone new.

She said she never wanted a break, that she was no longer going to be friends with the friends in common with the ex, that all she wanted was for us to slow down (that maybe it was the title of bf and gf that freaked her out a bit). I kept my stance that she wasn't ready for a relationship and needed time alone. She accused me of not talking about it, of deciding for her what to do, and just quitting the relationship without putting in the effort to fix it.

I feel like a dumbass.

Although she went kicking and screaming, I think you made the right decision. If you weren't feeling it (for the several reasons you listed), then there was no reason for you to drag it out.

Stay strong.

 

[Miguel]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Miggy. From what it looks like, you're handling it well, better than I have with my shit.

Saw that you also brought up OkCupid. I just created a profile tonight. Weird how many girls I know I've already found on here.

Trying to handle it well. Feel kinda awful right now actually but it still moving on as I said.