Baconsaurus Rex
Member
Write her a crown of sonnetsi understand, i should go to the library and find some poetry.
Write her a crown of sonnetsi understand, i should go to the library and find some poetry.
oh, hey, by the way, what's the general view on "quirky"? That's grounds for friendzone dismissal, right?
It's a shame that she has to do the initiative and I'm going to change that, I will. Believe me, there were some great moments to kiss her. We were watching a movie while she was sitting on my lap. Was doing everything right, putting my hand between her thighs and slowly moving them up her skirt... She turned her head and I looked at her, faces 10cm away from each other and I just looked away... This happened multiple times and afterwards she even asked me if I was afraid to kiss her back then. Yep... Tomorrow will be another day, a day to make this up to her.
I figure I should post here just because my situation is...well...weird.
Back on New Year's Eve at a big 100 person party I was heavily flirting with a girl that I've been friends with for over 2 years and she was definitely responding. Her ex (breakup 3 months previously) was also there and I think you may see where this is going. He threatened to punch me out if I didn't back off which obviously I ignored.
When I was leaving the party, I went to say goodbye to her and she surprised me with a kiss. Now obviously I'm an idiot because I didn't immediately kiss her back but whatever, I'm not going to worry about that. I talked to her for about 2 hours a couple days later and it comes out that she's had a crush on me for quite a while and etc. This is obviously a good thing.
However, we went out last weekend and she just seemed physically distant. I'm a guy, I like touch. It doesn't have to be crazy or anything, a touch on the arm, an arm around you, whatever. I did all these things and I got nothing back. I don't know if she's nervous or what but it's a confusing message when she's the one that first kissed me (yes, she was tipsy, but she said she didn't regret it).
We'll be out again tonight so I'll have to see how it goes.
You know what sucks??? When I was with my ex-gf I could make her come multiple times during intercourse easy but with my current gf I'm having the hardest time to even make her come once
Hopefully I can get the band going and have time for it, would be a hell of a lot of fun.
I mean at all. She has some major insecurity issues because of what happened to her as a child and because of the way guys have treated her as an adult (mostly because she has been a walkover). We have been together for 4 years now and things have improved a bit as she gets comfortable with me but it's slow going.
My biggest concern is she doesn't really know how to have a vaginal orgasm and this makes me sad really. She is missing out on so much but she just can't let herself relax and enjoy it.
First, thank you for taking the time to write out such a long and detailed post. Regarding the above, I don't believe I've been approaching situations with the intent to have sex. Simply put, sex is something that I honestly really do not expect at all, especially through social situations. I cannot recall a time when I've ever approached a girl thinking of sex. Though, that could be because whenever I see a very sexually attractive girl, I never approach them at all, since they usually are already taken or well out of my league. All I can do is watch.
Well, I go to two gyms actually, and have a personal trainer. I can usually make some small talk with him and other members at that one gym (the other gym is a regular public gym and there's no one there to talk to that's under 70 it seems). I make small talk with my co-workers (soon to be ex-coworkers once my job ends really soon :*( ) as well. But the thing is, the small talk never seems to go anywhere. I freely admit I'm a horrid conversationalist and have zero clue whether someone is enjoying talking to me or not. So, I can small talk people just fine, but nothing else seems to happen. I'm honestly not sure what is supposed to happen (maybe nothing?) after a lot of small talk.
Hmm. Honestly I don't know if I've made much progress then. I definitely feel I still have shy tendencies while talking to someone because I sometimes catch myself not looking into people's eyes or perhaps talking in a very low volume. And that's when I'm able to catch myself, so who knows how bad it is when I'm not even focusing on it.
Well, that's kind of you to say. I seem to get that a lot when it comes to people online. When it comes to real life though, so far haven't found that same sentiment anywhere. But it's a hard thing for me to grasp that someone would actually want to be friends with me, since I'm not so sure what benefit I can offer anyone for giving me that privilege.
I really think you should be banned again. In the time you've spent back in Girl Age, it's been nothing but this very detailed insight into why you lead such a sad and lonely life. It's like I have the habit of punching myself in the dick, and I could write pages upon pages about it, like how I feel during, before, and after, the angle at which my fist smashes into my dong, reasons why I think it's a good idea, reasons why I think it's a bad idea, and so on. However, I'm still punching my dick at the end of day, and nothing has improved.
Every time you venture outward, which you do less and less now, you seek external validation. People didn't notice me, so it was a failure. People weren't excited to talk to me, so it was a failure. However, you expect failure and disappointment so much that you disregard any good things that do happen.
Listen, fellas, Combine has been reading some self help books and either plays games instead of reading them or "scoffs" at them for suggesting that he isn't some limp-dicked, forever along loser. He thinks everything is a contest, so I would imagine sex would be a nightmare for him.
I've kissed her a few times before but it just doesn't feel good to me, I think. It is weird, I love her and all but kissing is just not my thing. But I kissed her today, am not going to destroy this thing because I don't want to kiss. I just need to be the macho man that she deserves.Sorry but this is kind of funny. She asked if you were afraid to kiss her and you didn't kiss her right then and there? And you've practically felt her up while she was sitting in your lap? She's obviously into you (most girls would probably want to kiss before you start reaching up their skirt..). I don't care if you've never kissed a girl in your life, next time just make the move as soon as possible. It might be awkward as fuck but you can just laugh it off afterward -- the important part is that you'd get over that hump and show her you aren't literally afraid to kiss her.
Thats kinda demeaning. The man has tons of patience, which is an inspiring and incredible virtue. And extremely important in this thread.
Then again, I havent been following Combine's situation much. Despite that I believe he will eventually improve. It may not be today, tomorrow, this week, this month... but as long as he keeps struggling and shows commitment he will find what he is searching for.
Besides the point of this thread is to inspire positivity, not discourage members from to taking risks. The right risks. His case is individual and so is everybody elses here. And thus far he hasnt given up, in my opinion.
Then again I might be talking outta my ass. But thats my 2 dimes.
First time meeting someone from OKCupid last night (first time I'd ever gone on a date with someone I'd met on a dating site). We went to a late night event at the Dallas Museum of Art. Good choice for first date. Lots of opportunity for goofing around, talking, and getting comfortable with each other -- walk her to her car and make that first kiss happen.
To clarify, she described you as "quirky"? You're probably overthinking it. Maybe quirky is something she's looking for.
This isn't specifically directed at you (though it might apply), but in general I think it'd be helpful for people to post some of the conversations they're having on OKCupid so others can coach them a bit. I'll bet 99% of the time, the problem is guys playing it too safe.
Hey guys, if anything City's probably got the most invested in my progress out of anyone who's not me. The man knows patience and has it in spades as he's been the only one I've been able to chat with online for extended periods of time through FB. Heck, he's been more of a therapist than the ones I've had to pay for, I wish I could give him all the money I spent on them.Mr City has a mean hard on for him. I find his post about Combine more pathetic than anything Combine has ever posted.
I wonder if someone like Tony Robbins could get Combine motivated.
I think we got an influencial jealous ex-boyfriend on our hands. He might be cockblocking you. You may need to diffuse him otherwise he will keep holding her back.
Also, she might be overwhelmed by your positive response to her confession.
The guy sounds like he may still be emotionally attached to her. Its a good thing you ignored his threat. It was an obvious bluff. A test IMO.
Fear of failure is my biggest fear.A live-in life coach would be best.
I see a lot of posters posting about the fear. I think the best question to ask is what the fear comes from. Does the fear come from judgement? Does it come from taking a moment where you made a mistake and building a monument to it everyday?
You're already balls-deep in, good sir. Have a good one.how DTF is a girl when she says this:
"Oh really? I can't even imagine what you have in store me haha dirty little threenote"
it was in response to this text I sent her: I told her that she has no idea what I'm going to do her tomorrow.
I'm seeing her tomorrow, and I need to fuuuck. Blue balls is a bitch.
You're already balls-deep in, good sir. Have a good one.
So I just asked this girl out that i knew from high school and she said "Sure we could go on a date for Valentine's day but I'm moving to Virginia on March 1st. " I'm mad as hell. I really liked her to. But I didn't realize how much I liked her until I went to her house and got some one on one time with her last weekend.
Doesn't matter as much if you're not that good looking. Be confident. Be creative in your profile but not overboard or stupid(like don't make your username "Dave1234" but also not "SexSlong69"). Exaggerate a little like a resume, put your good features and maybe make them seem a bit better than they really are and lets just forget those negatives for now. Don't contact 1 girl, contact several at a time. And make the message personal. Girls on those sites would get hundreds of messages so make yours stand out. No copy and pasting, no "Hello, you looked nice would you like to chat?". Point out some things on her profile showing that you read it.
Hey guys, if anything City's probably got the most invested in my progress out of anyone who's not me. The man knows patience and has it in spades as he's been the only one I've been able to chat with online for extended periods of time through FB. Heck, he's been more of a therapist than the ones I've had to pay for, I wish I could give him all the money I spent on them.
His frustrations are justified since he sees repeated patterns in my behavior and how it's a big freaking roller-coaster with how my mood can be up one day and in the dumps the next (and it tends to be the latter most of the time). It certainly doesn't do any good to hear me continue to berate myself for things. Though it hasn't helped that I've had a good deal of bad news thrown my way lately, and impending unemployment is never something to easily sleep on.
It's funny, like I have a persecution complex, but not because I feel it from others, but from myself.
But how do I build trust in others? How can I believe that there are people out there who'd want to be my friend when I still don't even really know what a friend is? When would I even know when someone else becomes my friend?
in your first message what did you say, or like what do you generally say to girls that message you back, because I have tried every way I know
Very true.You wont believe how many rockstar musicians have used an axe to slay the oppesite sex. Its almost enchanting. Not to forget a display of charm, charisma, experience and passion.
Obviously its safe to say that everyone enjoys, knows, or even loves music. Its a great casual conversation topic. Girls/women will be thrilled to talk to an experienced and knowledgable musician (pro. or amateur regardless).
My apartment is decorated with guitars. While they're decorations, I seldom play them. But If I were any good, I wouldnt hestiate.
Since you obviously love and practice music, you should make it your forte.
This is a good post. I'm no expert, but it sounds like healthy advice.She actually messaged me first.
My profile has some playful jokes in it (related to myself) and a lot of the messages girls send me will play off those. The messages we send back and forth are about getting to know each other, but you might want to save some stuff for the first date (I picked the art museum because it'd give plenty conversation pieces). I asked her out on the 4th message, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference if I'd done it on the 3rd. In this case, we talked about tea, what part of town we lived/worked in (what we did/didn't like about it, etc), what we are doing now and want to do in the near future, etc. With another girl, I've been talking whether dinosaurs or octopus are cooler. Sometimes the topics are playful, sometimes you can talk about something mundane in a playful way.
I'm no pick up artist, but I have the most success (and fun) when I'm being playful. I'm naturally a goofball though. My profile is playful and positive (some probably think it's cheesy). I think it depends on you and the kind of girls you want to attract -- what I do wouldn't work for all guys and it'd probably turn off some girls. Luckily it's working well for me and I'm meeting some interesting girls.
In general, I think OKCupid should be seen as just another tool in your toolchest. It's still important to make an effort to leave your house, be social and meet people. Pick up a new hobby or just find a local meetup.com group. If you're single, having an OKCupid profile certainly won't hurt anything though.
She actually messaged me first.
My profile has some playful jokes in it (related to myself) and a lot of the messages girls send me will play off those. The messages we send back and forth are about getting to know each other, but you might want to save some stuff for the first date (I picked the art museum because it'd give plenty conversation pieces). I asked her out on the 4th message, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference if I'd done it on the 3rd. In this case, we talked about tea, what part of town we lived/worked in (what we did/didn't like about it, etc), what we are doing now and want to do in the near future, etc. With another girl, I've been talking whether dinosaurs or octopus are cooler. Sometimes the topics are playful, sometimes you can talk about something mundane in a playful way.
I'm no pick up artist, but I have the most success (and fun) when I'm being playful. I'm naturally a goofball though. My profile is playful and positive (some probably think it's cheesy). I think it depends on you and the kind of girls you want to attract -- what I do wouldn't work for all guys and it'd probably turn off some girls. Luckily it's working well for me and I'm meeting some interesting girls.
In general, I think OKCupid should be seen as just another tool in your toolchest. It's still important to make an effort to leave your house, be social and meet people. Pick up a new hobby or just find a local meetup.com group. If you're single, having an OKCupid profile certainly won't hurt anything though.
I think I see what you're saying here. One of the problems with text for me has been the ability to tell when someone is being sarcastic or joking, as I tend to take people at their word (which is odd since I think I'm naturally distrustful of others) through text. I have a feeling that my inability to do online dating is likely related to this and that I have no idea how to form a message that doesn't seem too clinical/business-oriented.You need a coach and a friend all in one. There's just simply too much being lost in text for you. That isn't meant to be offensive. Simply talking to someone who is confident and successful about these things might do wonders for you, as you may start to pick up on tonal cues and how to communicate verbally with confidence. This can be a hurdle if you've never been introduced or acquainted with socially confident people.
So, just to make sure here, you're saying someone I have to actually speak to (no text at all) in person (with a voice)? No, I have never spoken to anyone or talked about this sort of thing to anyone that would fit that criteria. Outside of my family, the only people I've talked to about this stuff are my therapist and shrink. Both of which are much older people.I'm just taking a different angle here, Do you have anyone in your life that you know in person, or at least talk through via phone/skype or whatever that has been successful in dating and is confident?
Right before I go to her page to block her, I see her new profile pic of the ex and her. Haha, my track record for sniffing things out is outstanding, should have acted on it sooner like ConradCervantes said, but now, time to finish redoing my profile and then watch a movie. Also, if anyone is a US soccer fan... WOOOOT!!!! Just got back from the bar, fun crowd with friends/random people watching the game, great time.
I was going to block her regardless of the pic. Just thought I'd note it. "She wins" who cares. lol. The way she broke things off was wishy washy anyway, the entire month of January has been a ton of BS, it was her idea to not be friends on fb for now anyway, she had deleted me by the time I went to block her. I'll post some of the reasons she gave if y'all want, but I want a clean break.Shes trying to get to you. She put it there for a reason. Let it slide and ignore her.
She probably wants you to delete/block her, or get a similiar provoked/aggitated reaction. If you give into that, you'll prove her point that youre weak or some shit.
If I were you, I would just hide her and your updates from now on.
Just keep dating other folks from now on, eventually it will kill her from the inside out.
^All this is, assuming you havent blocked her just yet.^
Glad youre moving on though. Good luck!
Well guys i've recently had more luck at attracting women. I basically improved my self-confidence and anxiety over time.
What really substantially helped me the most recently was honestly reflecting on myself with the help of some psychedelics....I won't lie it did help.
But yeah I think its smooth sailing from here guys. I haven't gotten laid or anything but i've had multiple girls hitting on me and it will probably be happening relatively soon.
Thats kinda demeaning. The man has tons of patience, which is an inspiring and incredible virtue. And extremely important in this thread.
Then again, I havent been following Combine's situation much. Despite that I believe he will eventually improve. It may not be today, tomorrow, this week, this month... but as long as he keeps struggling and shows commitment he will find what he is searching for.
Besides the point of this thread is to inspire positivity, not discourage members from taking risks. The right risks. His case is individual and so is everybody elses here. And thus far he hasnt given up, in my opinion.
Then again I might be talking outta my ass. But thats my 2 dimes.
Mr City has a mean hard on for him. I find his post about Combine more pathetic than anything Combine has ever posted.
Well guys i've recently had more luck at attracting women. I basically improved my self-confidence and anxiety over time.
What really substantially helped me the most recently was honestly reflecting on myself with the help of some psychedelics....I won't lie it did help.
But yeah I think its smooth sailing from here guys. I haven't gotten laid or anything but i've had multiple girls hitting on me and it will probably be happening relatively soon.
Even though Im pretty confident around women, I think I'll be going to the gym whenever I can this semester. I wanna try to widen and buff my shoulders up, first. That and I want to increase my protein. I'm a skinny motherfucker.
Hopefully I'll see any sort of response.
Do it, regardless of the response. It'll make you feel better/increase your confidence and THAT will be what gets you the response. One of the best things I've ever done for myself was start working out regularly.
Went to a club last night (I hate clubs). Woke up to find about 5 pictures of me and some random smoking hot girl on my phone. Unfortunately, I have no recollection of the events of last night and neither do my friends. All signs point to it being a fantastic trip though.
Well fellas, I'm once again joining the ranks of singleton gaf, with a newfound I-don't-give-a-fuck-ness about relationships in general.
Today I broke up with the most perfect girl (albeit the craziest) for me I have dated, and I wonder if I made a mistake every second. Won't post it here, but there is a thread explaining the situaion.. In short, two months after dating, she was still angry/sad about her breakup with a long-time ex. She's scared about trusting someone new.
She said she never wanted a break, that she was no longer going to be friends with the friends in common with the ex, that all she wanted was for us to slow down (that maybe it was the title of bf and gf that freaked her out a bit). I kept my stance that she wasn't ready for a relationship and needed time alone. She accused me of not talking about it, of deciding for her what to do, and just quitting the relationship without putting in the effort to fix it.
I feel like a dumbass.
thanks, i gave up on looking outside the house, as I said before, I get friend zoned soo much it is pretty much my part time job. my profiles are straight forward, I don't know how to make it anymore, I guess I am just a boring person, maybe I need to get out more to bars and clubs.
you are soo lucky, that girls message you, I gots lots to learn!
Although she went kicking and screaming, I think you made the right decision. If you weren't feeling it (for the several reasons you listed), then there was no reason for you to drag it out.Well fellas, I'm once again joining the ranks of singleton gaf, with a newfound I-don't-give-a-fuck-ness about relationships in general.
Today I broke up with the most perfect girl (albeit the craziest) for me I have dated, and I wonder if I made a mistake every second. Won't post it here, but there is a thread explaining the situaion.. In short, two months after dating, she was still angry/sad about her breakup with a long-time ex. She's scared about trusting someone new.
She said she never wanted a break, that she was no longer going to be friends with the friends in common with the ex, that all she wanted was for us to slow down (that maybe it was the title of bf and gf that freaked her out a bit). I kept my stance that she wasn't ready for a relationship and needed time alone. She accused me of not talking about it, of deciding for her what to do, and just quitting the relationship without putting in the effort to fix it.
I feel like a dumbass.
Sorry to hear about your troubles, Miggy. From what it looks like, you're handling it well, better than I have with my shit.
Saw that you also brought up OkCupid. I just created a profile tonight. Weird how many girls I know I've already found on here.