Dating-Age OT4. Here we go again.
Churchill’s Speech
This time I’ve received the honor of creating the latest version of this thread and we’re gonna do things a bit differently here. There won’t be any long lists of self improvement techniques, hobbies to pick up or date location ideas. I'm not going to tell you how to get laid or how to approach women. The previous two OTs are great for that. Here are the links to them: PXG’s OT2 and soultron’s OT3.
Depending on where you come from in life, where you’re at now and what your beliefs are, these threads contain a lot of information that will help you with that. There is something for everyone in those threads, and it will be that way here too, especially if you take the time to read all the posts, something I’d recommend if you have the spare time. You are more than welcome to ask questions regarding such topics, of course! As English is my second language, there might be grammatical errors that I've missed, so if there are any, or if I should add something more, feel free to say so.
These Colours Don't Run
First off, I want to point out a small word of caution. If you are not ready to take in new information and perspectives on your situation and in general, please don’t fight us. It’s fine to use some critical thinking and deciding for yourself what’s best for you, in fact that’s something you should always do in all walks of life, but we are here to help and nobody will give you bad advice on purpose. And we can only give advice based on what you write, so it won’t be our fault if we misunderstand something. Most advice given is given simply because it has worked for someone else. That doesn’t mean that it will work for you too, but chances are pretty damn good because in most aspects, we’re all much alike. So please remember that.
Out of the Shadows
So at some point, I became the guy with the highest post count in OT3. I’m not sure how that happened, to be perfectly honest. If you’ve ever visited OT3, chances are pretty good that you’ve seen my posts and you might even have seen videos of a Youtube guy by the name of Brent Smith. Now, I won’t fill this thread to the brim with his 400+ public videos on these subjects, so if you hate the guy, don’t worry. There will be a couple though, and for good reasons. But why should you listen to me at all? Well, for starters, I've more than likely been in your shoes once upon a time. I'm 27 now and up until last summer, I was a complete loser around women. And I mean really bad. I gave up on trying to attract women in my early teens. At first it was incredibly "woe is me" and then I grew to accept it. I was never going to get laid and I was okay with that. Scary thought. But I came to OT3 and elsewhere to ask for help and I got it good. So if your life is anything remotely close to that, my deepest sympathies. You've come to the right thread and if you're desperate, angry, sad, lonely scared or any of the other negative and horrible emotions, I know what that's like, many of us here have probably been there before.
Brave New World
The good thing though, is that snapping out of it and starting a new life is possible for anyone and everyone, and it’s actually a lot easier than most think. I don’t care how you do it, just accept that. If you don’t agree and feel that your life is hopeless, well, this journey will be tougher for you than necessary. No one is beyond hope. I’ve never had a serious meaningful romantic relationship in my life and I never approached a single girl between the age of 12 to 22, pretty much. But my life isn’t like that anymore, far from it. I've transformed from having only a handful of friends to being able to name several hundred of them. My life is excellent on all levels, I have the best friends I've ever had, I'm living in a great city and I'm doing what I love. I used to literally not even know what partying meant and some of us dance the night away a few nights a week now. When I stopped being obsessed with my own pain, it went away.
It would be taking the easy way out to say that Brent Smith has changed my life entirely and he’s one of the most important people to me. Instead I’ll say it as it is. With his help, I changed my life into what it is now. I’m the most important person in my life. It sounds so obvious and the only way it should be, right? Yet so many people don't think that way about themselves. I always made sure to put women on pedestals and I was one of the least important people in my life. And that’s also why my life used to suck. That’s probably why your life sucks.
So I’d say that the biggest question you gotta ask yourself right now is ”What am I doing here?”. Are you here because you’re a virgin and want to get laid ”to get it over with”, perhaps even thinking that life will automatically be awesome afterwards? You’re doing it wrong. Are you here for dating tips or wondering how to find a girlfriend? That’s fine, just make sure first that you’re not doing it to fill some imaginary void in your heart. If we suspect this to be the case, we will give you tough love because that’s not how life is supposed to be. In other words, whatever your purpose here is, make sure you’re only doing it for the sake of improving YOU (a message that many in OT3 agree with). If you want to improve yourself and get romantic with a special someone, you have to be a good person first. No, you have to better than good, better than nice. Always be the greatest possible version of yourself. How to make that happen is a different journey for everyone so I can't point to a step-by-step guide. If success is going to come to you, you have to be willing to work for it, and change your beliefs in general. These days, a lot of old tricks don't work anymore and you gotta be able to believe in that perhaps the opposite is the way to go. Sex is only temporary while inner peace and personal development may very well last forever.
When Two Worlds Collide
Like I said before, I’m a strong believer in what Brent Smith has taught me, some of my friends and many others, including in OT3. So if you’re ready for a radically different view on life and women (sometimes too radical for some), Brent will have you covered. This video is great. Yeah, it’s one and a half hour long, dealwithit.gif, I wouldn’t post it if it wasn’t good for you. A fresh perspective can change your life for the better if you let it. I've watched it like 7 times by now.
Every now and then we get guys asking for dating advice, what to talk about, how to dress, how to act, how do I get her to like me, when do I kiss her, how do I kiss her and so on. They are all valid questions and quite understandable. There will always be many answers to these questions that offer a wide variety of options. But at the same time, when you worry about such trivial things, chances are that you’re forgetting something else along the way. That something is you. There’s always two people in a relationship and if you’re too focused on pleasing your woman, trying your hardest to make sure she’s into you, you’re thinking about all this the wrong way to be honest. I posted a video from David Wygant in OT3 and I think it’s pretty fitting here too. You have to have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can truly bring someone else into your life. You have to know what you want just as much as what women want. What would be the point of successfully seducing a woman if she can’t do the same to you, whatever your criteria are? Being in love is a wonderful thing and having happy relationships in your life can be very fulfilling but the most important relationship is with yourself. It is therefore more important to be happy with yourself first and then focus on bringing happiness to others. So it all comes back to not looking in others for your own happiness.
OT3 talked about positivity and confidence, and how to get these things. Everyone in here will tell you that this is key to having success, both in life in general and with women. Please read up on this. But there’s also a third concept that I believe is equally important. That concept is ”indifference”.
Update April 8th: I just noticed that the videos have been deleted from youtube over copyright. Brent does have other videos on indifference though, feel free to search for it on his channel.
Update May 22nd: Seems Brent has either deleted every single video or made everything private for some reason. I have pretty much all of them downloaded, but not any direct URLs. Send me a link on how to make a torrent and I might put them up,even though they're huge. 50+ GB in total.
Indifference is very powerful. Being indifferent and carefree makes life a cakewalk, in all aspects. You don’t have to be mean and a jerk (and please don’t be), just realize that negative feelings serve no real purpose and it’s possible to look at all things from different perspectives. So it’s strongly connected to positivity. And wouldn't anyone prefer positive feelings? If you are carefree, problems become opportunities and nothing more. You wouldn’t be bothered by not getting laid, not getting dates or if you actually get a date but she flakes on you. Approach anxiety, a technical pickup artistry term (you’ll have to google it, I won’t touch PUA in here), would cease to exist. Getting a bad grade, having a lousy salary at work, things like that would lose their negative impact on you. Obviously, you’d want to work towards a solution to those problems, but why choose, and most of us do choose, to let such things bring us down? Most things in life are in fact quite meaningless, but we give them power over us and then we complain about being unhappy. Does that make any sense? Not to me, it doesn't.
Not getting hung up over silly details and not easily getting angry/frustrated is also a very attractive quality. Being carefree give others the impression that you're relaxed and enjoy life for what it is, something you should be doing anyway (yeah, I'm telling you how to live life here ).
From Here to Eternity
So an important lesson to learn here is that life is actually pretty simple. It’s just that we make it hard. You don’t have to wear fancy clothes, have a cool hair style, have the biggest biceps in town or whatever it is you think you lack. That’s not what’s holding the women back. They obviously help, and you are entitled to your opinion on that fact, but you don’t need them. What IS holding women back are your insecurities about your perceived faults you may think you have! All you’ll ever need is you and what’s inside of you. That was general message of OT3 and it will be again in OT4!
So welcome, or welcome back, to GAF’s Dating-Age. Now get out of here! If you post in here, I sincerely hope you don’t stay for long. Because the action is out there, in your real life, not on GAF. Spend time with your friends, make new ones, improve yourself in whatever way you deem fit, meet women and have a blast. Truly live life the way it was meant to be lived, you only get one on them in this game. So don’t waste something so precious!
So understand,
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up... make your stand,
And realise you're living in the golden years.
Churchill’s Speech
This time I’ve received the honor of creating the latest version of this thread and we’re gonna do things a bit differently here. There won’t be any long lists of self improvement techniques, hobbies to pick up or date location ideas. I'm not going to tell you how to get laid or how to approach women. The previous two OTs are great for that. Here are the links to them: PXG’s OT2 and soultron’s OT3.
Depending on where you come from in life, where you’re at now and what your beliefs are, these threads contain a lot of information that will help you with that. There is something for everyone in those threads, and it will be that way here too, especially if you take the time to read all the posts, something I’d recommend if you have the spare time. You are more than welcome to ask questions regarding such topics, of course! As English is my second language, there might be grammatical errors that I've missed, so if there are any, or if I should add something more, feel free to say so.
These Colours Don't Run
First off, I want to point out a small word of caution. If you are not ready to take in new information and perspectives on your situation and in general, please don’t fight us. It’s fine to use some critical thinking and deciding for yourself what’s best for you, in fact that’s something you should always do in all walks of life, but we are here to help and nobody will give you bad advice on purpose. And we can only give advice based on what you write, so it won’t be our fault if we misunderstand something. Most advice given is given simply because it has worked for someone else. That doesn’t mean that it will work for you too, but chances are pretty damn good because in most aspects, we’re all much alike. So please remember that.
Out of the Shadows
So at some point, I became the guy with the highest post count in OT3. I’m not sure how that happened, to be perfectly honest. If you’ve ever visited OT3, chances are pretty good that you’ve seen my posts and you might even have seen videos of a Youtube guy by the name of Brent Smith. Now, I won’t fill this thread to the brim with his 400+ public videos on these subjects, so if you hate the guy, don’t worry. There will be a couple though, and for good reasons. But why should you listen to me at all? Well, for starters, I've more than likely been in your shoes once upon a time. I'm 27 now and up until last summer, I was a complete loser around women. And I mean really bad. I gave up on trying to attract women in my early teens. At first it was incredibly "woe is me" and then I grew to accept it. I was never going to get laid and I was okay with that. Scary thought. But I came to OT3 and elsewhere to ask for help and I got it good. So if your life is anything remotely close to that, my deepest sympathies. You've come to the right thread and if you're desperate, angry, sad, lonely scared or any of the other negative and horrible emotions, I know what that's like, many of us here have probably been there before.
Brave New World
The good thing though, is that snapping out of it and starting a new life is possible for anyone and everyone, and it’s actually a lot easier than most think. I don’t care how you do it, just accept that. If you don’t agree and feel that your life is hopeless, well, this journey will be tougher for you than necessary. No one is beyond hope. I’ve never had a serious meaningful romantic relationship in my life and I never approached a single girl between the age of 12 to 22, pretty much. But my life isn’t like that anymore, far from it. I've transformed from having only a handful of friends to being able to name several hundred of them. My life is excellent on all levels, I have the best friends I've ever had, I'm living in a great city and I'm doing what I love. I used to literally not even know what partying meant and some of us dance the night away a few nights a week now. When I stopped being obsessed with my own pain, it went away.
It would be taking the easy way out to say that Brent Smith has changed my life entirely and he’s one of the most important people to me. Instead I’ll say it as it is. With his help, I changed my life into what it is now. I’m the most important person in my life. It sounds so obvious and the only way it should be, right? Yet so many people don't think that way about themselves. I always made sure to put women on pedestals and I was one of the least important people in my life. And that’s also why my life used to suck. That’s probably why your life sucks.
So I’d say that the biggest question you gotta ask yourself right now is ”What am I doing here?”. Are you here because you’re a virgin and want to get laid ”to get it over with”, perhaps even thinking that life will automatically be awesome afterwards? You’re doing it wrong. Are you here for dating tips or wondering how to find a girlfriend? That’s fine, just make sure first that you’re not doing it to fill some imaginary void in your heart. If we suspect this to be the case, we will give you tough love because that’s not how life is supposed to be. In other words, whatever your purpose here is, make sure you’re only doing it for the sake of improving YOU (a message that many in OT3 agree with). If you want to improve yourself and get romantic with a special someone, you have to be a good person first. No, you have to better than good, better than nice. Always be the greatest possible version of yourself. How to make that happen is a different journey for everyone so I can't point to a step-by-step guide. If success is going to come to you, you have to be willing to work for it, and change your beliefs in general. These days, a lot of old tricks don't work anymore and you gotta be able to believe in that perhaps the opposite is the way to go. Sex is only temporary while inner peace and personal development may very well last forever.
When Two Worlds Collide
Like I said before, I’m a strong believer in what Brent Smith has taught me, some of my friends and many others, including in OT3. So if you’re ready for a radically different view on life and women (sometimes too radical for some), Brent will have you covered. This video is great. Yeah, it’s one and a half hour long, dealwithit.gif, I wouldn’t post it if it wasn’t good for you. A fresh perspective can change your life for the better if you let it. I've watched it like 7 times by now.
Every now and then we get guys asking for dating advice, what to talk about, how to dress, how to act, how do I get her to like me, when do I kiss her, how do I kiss her and so on. They are all valid questions and quite understandable. There will always be many answers to these questions that offer a wide variety of options. But at the same time, when you worry about such trivial things, chances are that you’re forgetting something else along the way. That something is you. There’s always two people in a relationship and if you’re too focused on pleasing your woman, trying your hardest to make sure she’s into you, you’re thinking about all this the wrong way to be honest. I posted a video from David Wygant in OT3 and I think it’s pretty fitting here too. You have to have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can truly bring someone else into your life. You have to know what you want just as much as what women want. What would be the point of successfully seducing a woman if she can’t do the same to you, whatever your criteria are? Being in love is a wonderful thing and having happy relationships in your life can be very fulfilling but the most important relationship is with yourself. It is therefore more important to be happy with yourself first and then focus on bringing happiness to others. So it all comes back to not looking in others for your own happiness.
OT3 talked about positivity and confidence, and how to get these things. Everyone in here will tell you that this is key to having success, both in life in general and with women. Please read up on this. But there’s also a third concept that I believe is equally important. That concept is ”indifference”.
Update April 8th: I just noticed that the videos have been deleted from youtube over copyright. Brent does have other videos on indifference though, feel free to search for it on his channel.
Update May 22nd: Seems Brent has either deleted every single video or made everything private for some reason. I have pretty much all of them downloaded, but not any direct URLs. Send me a link on how to make a torrent and I might put them up,even though they're huge. 50+ GB in total.
Indifference is very powerful. Being indifferent and carefree makes life a cakewalk, in all aspects. You don’t have to be mean and a jerk (and please don’t be), just realize that negative feelings serve no real purpose and it’s possible to look at all things from different perspectives. So it’s strongly connected to positivity. And wouldn't anyone prefer positive feelings? If you are carefree, problems become opportunities and nothing more. You wouldn’t be bothered by not getting laid, not getting dates or if you actually get a date but she flakes on you. Approach anxiety, a technical pickup artistry term (you’ll have to google it, I won’t touch PUA in here), would cease to exist. Getting a bad grade, having a lousy salary at work, things like that would lose their negative impact on you. Obviously, you’d want to work towards a solution to those problems, but why choose, and most of us do choose, to let such things bring us down? Most things in life are in fact quite meaningless, but we give them power over us and then we complain about being unhappy. Does that make any sense? Not to me, it doesn't.
Not getting hung up over silly details and not easily getting angry/frustrated is also a very attractive quality. Being carefree give others the impression that you're relaxed and enjoy life for what it is, something you should be doing anyway (yeah, I'm telling you how to live life here ).
From Here to Eternity
So an important lesson to learn here is that life is actually pretty simple. It’s just that we make it hard. You don’t have to wear fancy clothes, have a cool hair style, have the biggest biceps in town or whatever it is you think you lack. That’s not what’s holding the women back. They obviously help, and you are entitled to your opinion on that fact, but you don’t need them. What IS holding women back are your insecurities about your perceived faults you may think you have! All you’ll ever need is you and what’s inside of you. That was general message of OT3 and it will be again in OT4!
So welcome, or welcome back, to GAF’s Dating-Age. Now get out of here! If you post in here, I sincerely hope you don’t stay for long. Because the action is out there, in your real life, not on GAF. Spend time with your friends, make new ones, improve yourself in whatever way you deem fit, meet women and have a blast. Truly live life the way it was meant to be lived, you only get one on them in this game. So don’t waste something so precious!
So understand,
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up... make your stand,
And realise you're living in the golden years.