It seemed that way. If one can restrict the judgments to potential mates though, rather than just calling everyone who's had >x partners a whore, and if it is a personal standard which one also adheres to, then I see no problem. We're getting way too PC when not wanting to enter into a relationship with someone (male or female) for having dozens of sexual partners is offensive.
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How many sexual partners for girls is too many?
- Thread starter TheContact
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It seemed that way. If one can restrict the judgments to potential mates though, rather than just calling everyone who's had >x partners a whore, and if it is a personal standard which one also adheres to, then I see no problem. We're getting way too PC when not wanting to enter into a relationship with someone (male or female) for having dozens of sexual partners is offensive.
I just can't believe this. Only 6% of respondents have reported 4 sexual partners in the past 12 months? That is outrageously low.
Btw, the topic subject boils down to two perspectives I feel. The first is one that I subscribe to. It boils down to this. I hate using my hand in my dark room with a LED screen to get off. Just because I'm not in a relationship doesn't mean that I'm not looking for a relationship, its just that I haven't found the right girl to settle with. Shall I deprave myself of the pleasures of sex and subject myself to excessive masterbation because she hasn't found her way into my life yet? Fuck that.
I love ladies and love having sex so having casual sex is appealing to me and others I know. Its the way I'm going to operate until a girl and I cross and click. Until then I refuse to only masterbate because of some imaginary standard.
That is an absolutely okay perspective in my book for both sexes. Both sexes should be allowed to enjoy sex with multiple partners without judgement. That doesn't mean people on the other side of the fence can't find X amount of parters to be undesirable. They certainly can and that's an okay perspective and the foundation for my second point.
The second--and one that often gets construed by emotions and overreactions--is that it's okay to place an emotional value on sex, and feel that too many sexual partners means maybe they don't hold having sex to such a high standard as you, and therefore you feel that person and you are incompatible. There is absolutely nothing wrong with holding sex as something sacred. Just not everyone has to have that same standard.
However, what typically happens is people slut shame and make stupid comments that are judgmental and demeaning for someones choice of enjoying sex without seeking a relationship. That is taking what my second perspective is too far into the wrong.
readLeader
Banned
Morality doesn't have the same approach as law in secular societies. Law goes "if this doesn't infringe on anyone else's rights, then no one has a reason to object". Morality is "what is good", which is miles away from the smallest possible denominator that is liberal law.
Now this is a better argument. I agree, that is reasonable. I certainly do this: I have every woman I am potentially going to sleep with checked, and I have myself checked, too.
This definitely invalidates my argument.
Devolution
Member
Or people could just own their insecurity instead of judging the other person.
I am not comfortable with my partner having x amount of past sexual partners is rarely the tune. There are judgments levied, assumptions that the person in question cannot possible be faithful and a tired pack of sex negative tropes.
User Name Here
Member
One if they're my daughter and are underage. And one more than I if I'm married, engaged or dating.
Yup.
Yup.
readLeader
Banned
I think people made it pretty clear that they took that amount as indicative of certain attitudes that the women (and men) involved have, and that they object to those attitudes. And the "depending on their conditions" is the relevant qualifier, they do not call sex in itself a bad thing, but sex under certain conditions.
You will find that for some people that this "30" number is normal to them, and, on the other side of that, others will be virgins until they meet their life partner. Stop trying to put people into one category. Everyone is different, and everyone behaves different. What's normal for one person can be abstract for another. I've met plenty of people on both sides of that number. You heard me right: I know people and their stories. Just because they didn't write an article about it on the internet that is available for everyone to read doesn't make it untrue.
I'd like to think this, but OP's words are a reflection of society. Women having too many partners is a thing.
Devolution
Member
What "attitudes" other than their judgmental assumptions? Again sex must be some kind of "bad" to judge people for doing it.
A person still has the right to decide who to enter into a relationship with, for all kinds of reasons. Now it sounds like we're just hopping to judging people for doing exactly this. Some people simply are uncomfortable with the fact, because they themselves have not had nearly as many sexual partners. Maybe they're insecure, or maybe they just have a standard to not be promiscuous even though they have the ability to be. Either way, fair enough if it isn't a double standard, and that's their right to not enter into the relationship.
TAJ
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
One has nothing to do with the other.
Maybe most of them were between relationships and she was weeding out the ones who sucked in bed. Or maybe she was just reveling in her freedom after breakups.
not psycho
Member
Not an expert on this, but I don't think you are supposed to date anyone unless their number is at least half your age plus 7.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Doesn't matter. Just make sure that the girl is currently clean and practices responsible and safe sex.
A higher level of historical promiscuity should warrant closer scrutiny, though. Chances of getting an STD are higher the more partners you have, everything else being equal.
You kinda need to make the distinction of "too many" from a moral/social standpoint or a health/safety standpoint. Some people tend to conflate the two and can't seem to separate them.
The "low sex girls are inexperienced" argument doesn't really matter. Teaching inexperienced girls how to have mind blowing sex is very fun and rewarding.
A higher level of historical promiscuity should warrant closer scrutiny, though. Chances of getting an STD are higher the more partners you have, everything else being equal.
You kinda need to make the distinction of "too many" from a moral/social standpoint or a health/safety standpoint. Some people tend to conflate the two and can't seem to separate them.
The "low sex girls are inexperienced" argument doesn't really matter. Teaching inexperienced girls how to have mind blowing sex is very fun and rewarding.
What I don't understand is how someone who hasn't had a lot of sex automatically means he/she is boring or bad at sex.
You jump all over dudes who are insecure about women having 30+ sex partners, but you turn around and chastise men and women with low sex partners as someone who is bad at sex. I don't understand that kind of thinking. I know someone who has had 30+ sex partners has a better chance at being good than someone with say 3 or 4, but come on. I think some one in this thread said that he dumped women for being bad in bed. You can't fight stupid with stupid.
How is sex immoral then.
TAJ
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
That's her age, and it's bullshit. 18yos are always fair game.
readLeader
Banned
Absolutely not. What people assumed was that the potential for STDs is higher, which is true, that there cannot have been committed, meaningful relationships for all of those encounters, which is more likely to be true than not to, and that this indicates a casual attitude towards sex, which is also more likely to be true than not to.
No one here said sex per se is immoral.
Kano on the Phone
Member
Good chat though, and I definitely agree with your points about putting too much focus on things.
It is. Sleeping around in a monogamous relationship has nothing to do with promiscuity outside of one.
ThroneZwei
Banned
Ah, I see. Well he should tell his friend to suck it up and feel lucky that he a girl has eyes for him that 30+ others lusted to in the past.
Devolution
Member
So what if there weren't committed meaningful relationships for every fuck? What real attitudes does a high number indicate? Don't beat around the bush. If you're saying "sex isn't bad but this amount of sex is", sex is in fact bad, sorry.
It gets brought up as an argument. To me, the men who say this sound like crybabies "wahhhhh, why can she have sex and i can't?! it's not fair"
Easier said than done though right? I think it's easy to be overly harsh on people who have these insecurities, it's not really their fault.
AllIsOneIsNone
Banned
I don't take it as a rule, I take it as a sign of caution. Just my experience. My personal experience, many of my friends and others' that I know experience.
I'm not going to meet the love of my life then dump her because she's had too many partners, but I would be more hesitant if she say, wanted to go out with guy friends on her own a lot. It wouldn't be good for me, because I get a bit jealous and it would probably screw up the relationship over time. So yes, it's partially my problem I guess, one that I'd rather avoid if I could (although working on your own issues like that one is important too).That's where preferences come in, I'm a better person if I'm with a certain type; I've just come to learn that. You gotta find the right one for you, that's all.
way more
Member
Remember, the more sex a women has the looser, and grosser her pussy is. That and STD's are just God's way of letting you know a women is promiscuous/has no morals.
It's really sad how many people still think like this. MUSCLE TONE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
This is just a myth that has nothing to do with the number of partners, though. It's not like our mouths get bigger the more sandwiches we eat.
Yeah. You'll get no argument from me sir. Christian school and church damn near 3-4 times a week. Coupled with week long Christian camps multiple times a summer will do that to ya.
you're directly attacking over 40% of OT's content, don't cross the streams!
The Librarian
Banned
Are you being purposefully disingenuous? Because that's not what I'm doing at all. Dumbing down an article from the New York Times that cites a survey without having any evidence to debunk said survey comes off as insincere to me. I'm not trying to place anyone into one category. I'm simply citing a national survey and saying that having sex with thirty different people is an outlier. I'm not saying those people don't exist, just that by age twenty-four, they're outliers. If you have studies and/or articles that suggest otherwise, I'm happy to read them.
I know you don't have much respect for me, but please don't try to imply that I'm purposefully obfuscating the point of contention here.
lol
anyway...so a new thought on this is, if she actually fucked 300 dudes, leaving them in the dust, then that's awesome. But if she just laid their like a warm fish and got humped 300 times, thats...not so awesome.
But then again, if you are using lube in order to fit food in your mouth, you are doing it wrong.
TAJ
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
This is how I see that in my head...
"It is my intention to have intercourse with you. Get thee to a clinic."
Maybe...doesn't make it any less true though. It's exponentially easier for women to go get laid if they want. Guys not so much. Unless you're the stunner type. Lol
I was just compilating a lot of nonsense in the thread. I don't think her life needs to be speculated on, shes was in a healthy relationship until her past partners were revealed, and now its a problem. Not that she was contacting them, or that OP's friend has the herp, just the number is the problem with a good girl.
Devolution
Member
This statement always makes me chuckle. The women in long term relationships in which sex occurs relatively frequently would have the biggest hallways. Good thing this is just nonsense. Some women are tighter or looser and it generally does not have to do with the amount of sex.
Even though it's a joke to you, I've seen it actually stated as a serious reply.
readLeader
Banned
Has it occurred to you, maybe due to the dozens of posts to this effect, that many people want their partner to be serious about sex and want a committed meaningful relationship before intimacy?
I listed the attitudes cited in this thread which high promiscuity is indicative of in that post of mine you quoted.
I said nothing about amount of sex, neither did anyone else.
Thank you for the joke Impaler
It is true mostly because the risks of having sex with a stranger of the opposite sex are significantly lower for most men so women tend to be more cautious.
haha if she's using lube to fit that cock in, I think she thinks she's doing it right.
It's kind of hard to tell in this thread when phrases like "DISGUSTING AND WHORISH" are being thrown around without a hint of irony.
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