Support NeoGAF

[Derwind]

Damn I can't get my point across. I mean modern sexuality is a 20th century invention. The way we use sex as a natural act and people have healthy sex lives and can safely has as much sex as they want.

Women today can safely have sex for pleasure without becoming pregnant and even if they do become pregnant, they have safe ways to terminate pregnancies. Sure there were brothels and prostitutes in the past, but sex for pleasure in a relationship is a modern invention.

And today we even use sexual chemistry as a defining factor for relationships. It's why so many relationships fail too. Hopefully I get what I mean across well.

Honestly, unless you have religious beliefs, or practice virginity/celibacy, the number shouldn't matter, nor should the partners.

Is a woman who has had two relationships in a year but had sex with those boyfriends let's say 362 times in a year, any different than a woman who had sex with 8 different guys, but only had sex 8 times that year?

It's a bit misogynistic to view a woman as "damaged goods" based on how many times or with how many partners she'd had sex.

I get where you're coming from dude, I really do but I could probably get crazy amounts head a hundred years ago. Because a quick BJ is pretty darn pleasurable.

And lets not get into the other *ahem* quirky ways of getting off....

 

[The Adder]

If you don't care then you are no different than an un-evolved ape.

Morals are what differentiate civilization from chaos.

And logically? Are you the tallest male in the world? No.
So what are the odds you are the greatest lover?
When you date a girl. You are either her best or somewhere below that.
Why would you want to be anything less than her best? Her best in every way.
Not just sex of course.

But sex IS A PART OF IT.

If you settle. You are letting base instinct dictate whom you should love.

So ...
1. optimal communication
2. optimal sexual compatibility
3. synergized aspirations.
4. hobbies and interests that can intertwine.

And whatever else . But those are pretty much the essentials.

Being her only doesn't not indicate that you have "Optimal sexual compatibility"

 

[Ken Masters]

In all honesty looks don't count for as much as what situations you put yourself in. A sociable average looking person is getting laid and propositioned a lot more than a hot person who just stays at home. The amount someone gets laid is up to their own priorities really. Some dudes would see their luck turn around if they learned how to talk worth a shit.

Some of the stuff you say as if it wasn't so obvious, lol

 

[FrostuTheNinja]

i love how in these threads people try to be progressive but the same old shit applies. women are just waiting for a man to come and talk to them, to prove to her that he has worth. she's shy but she's just waiting for you to go talk to her, then she'll realize you're really great and definitely worth fucking. it's all so gross.

Needs to be quoted.

 

[Vermillion]

If the study group was chosen representatively, then it stands to reason to assume their spouses were also somewhat representative. All that's needed there is to look at research into the reasons for divorce, where the top three reasons are (in descending order) infidelity, lack of communication and abuse.

What do the data on men have to do with what expectations with regard to the studied groups are reasonable?

Then your conclusion is, judging from the results of that study, wrong; I quoted the conclusions Paik came to, not what I made of it. Also, traumatic intercourse does not imply rape; rape would certainly be traumatic, but so can consensual intercourse that deviates in a massively negative way from what the girl/woman expected.

- I would argue that lack of communication fits hand-in-glove with infidelity, but that's neither here nor there. Also, you're going to have to clarify what you mean by "representative." Of what (I could just be slow, mind)?

- It takes care of some of the confounding variables, for me. If I'm suggesting that it's the men's reaction to promiscuity that causes divorce, then the data on male promiscuity and divorce shouldn't show a correlation that's as strong as that with female promiscuity.

- I'm not saying that your interpretation was incorrect. I'm saying that the study itself - without the information I'm asking about - is useless, and the conclusions hardly solid.

In all honesty looks don't count for as much as what situations you put yourself in. A sociable average looking person is getting laid and propositioned a lot more than a hot person who just stays at home. The amount someone gets laid is up to their own priorities really. Some dudes would see their luck turn around if they learned how to talk worth a shit.

Perhaps so.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

This is an example of "beta shaming".

Where feminists try to imply that men are betas (which is meant as an insult) if they hold views the feminist is opposed to.

And since we are being honest here, the most Alpha thing of all is to not give a single fuck what women think of anything. So I am not sure feminists should be so eager to beta shame.

No, not really.

Some people are beta and others are alphas.

You only feel shamed if it hits home for you.

 

[Pau]

i love how in these threads people try to be progressive but the same old shit applies. women are just waiting for a man to come and talk to them, to prove to her that he has worth. she's shy but she's just waiting for you to go talk to her, then she'll realize you're really great and definitely worth fucking. it's all so gross.

Are you trying to imply that women can approach a man? I'm pretty sure that's just a myth.

 

[Devolution]

Some of the stuff you say as if it wasn't so obvious, lol

But what you're saying is "beautiful women don't really get approached much I know this because of reasons." There's no real tangible thing here. Where are they? What are they doing? It's such a random statement.

 

[Derwind]

No, not really.

Some people are beta and others are alphas.

You only feel shamed if it hits home for you.

That cuts deep bro, why you got to do that?!

 

[Ken Masters]

Are you trying to imply that women can approach a man? I'm pretty sure that's just a myth.

I've been approached by women times, often I find it a turn off

 

[Ntsouls]

And morality isn't just "because I said so" or should not be. Why is having sex bad and immoral in your opinion?

Also lol at your listed 4. Arranged marriages were a thing dude, and required none of that. And arranged marriage is hardly "base instinct."

You purport that all arranged marriages are misguided.
Perhaps most are.
This is not what I propose though.
I'm not proposing that we resort to , perhaps, arranging OUR OWN MINDS a bit more before deciding what it is we want in our potential mate.

Penny and Lenard from Big Bang Theory is a classic example of inefficiency and extreme incompatibility.
Sadly this is what most of us in society resort to.

I think we need to be more like those kooks the Warrens.

 

[blame space]

nevermind even i don't know what i'm talking about anymore

 

[Pau]

But what you're saying is "beautiful women don't really get approached much I know this because of reasons." There's no real tangible thing here. Where are they? What are they doing? It's such a random statement.

They're all posting on NeoGAF.

I've been approached by women times, often I find it a turn off

Well, by your logic, beautiful women wouldn't approach anyone so many you just didn't find them attractive enough to speak to you.

 

[Dennis]

No, not really.

Some people are beta and others are alphas.

You only feel shamed if it hits home for you.

You could say the exact same thing about slut shaming.

You only feel shamed if it hits home for you.

So according to you we should slut shame like there is no tomorrow.

Nice try though.

Beta shaming is very real. It is the constant attempt to belittle men who disagree with what feminist are saying.

To me it signals a feminist weakness in arguments when you have to resort to that.

 

[Ken Masters]

Well, by your logic, beautiful women wouldn't approach anyone so many you just didn't find them attractive enough to speak to you.

Maybe they find me disgusting lol

But I like the chase also, what can say?

 

[Devolution]

They're all posting on NeoGAF.


Well, by your logic, beautiful women wouldn't approach anyone so many you just didn't find them attractive enough to speak to you.

Well if we go by online dating the amount of messages based on the woman's looks are insane.

 

[Madness]

No it's not, it's built into us. The invention was shame and subjugation.

Our organs were never biologically built for sex as recreational acts or pleasure only. It "feels" good because it is part of our evolution as mammals and to make procreation more enjoyable. It's why our reproductive organs are specifically tailored for sexual intercourse.

So yes, wanting to have sex is natural and built into us. But it's ORIGINALLY for the purpose of procreation only. It's so we ensure that both males/females enjoy sex, and that it will result in a pregnancy. It's why women get "wet" as well, to facilitate entry, it's why sperm is released in ejaculation.

Does that make sense? But I understand completely Devo where you are coming from and where others are as well.

 

[GrizzNKev]

They're all posting on NeoGAF.


Well, by your logic, beautiful women wouldn't approach anyone so many you just didn't find them attractive enough to speak to you.

Women approach me on a daily basis. They're actually waiting in line right now. If they don't meet my minimum requirement of 'as many partners as breads you've eaten' I turn them away.

 

[Ntsouls]

Being her only doesn't not indicate that you have "Optimal sexual compatibility"

It indeed does not. But it raises your odds.

You should be practicing via books, and your hand or a dummy anyways.

Hey.
If it works with bows using targets...

 

[Ken Masters]

Looks matter for initial contact, that can never be denied

And often times it's the initial contact/attraction that is the hardest part for guys

 

[Devolution]

Our organs were never biologically built for sex as recreational acts or pleasure only. It "feels" good because it is part of our evolution as mammals and to make procreation more enjoyable. It's why our reproductive organs are specifically tailored for sexual intercourse.

So yes, wanting to have sex is natural and built into us. But it's ORIGINALLY for the purpose of procreation only. It's so we ensure that both males/females enjoy sex, and that it will result in a pregnancy. It's why women get "wet" as well, to facilitate entry, it's why sperm is released in ejaculation.

Does that make sense? But I understand completely Devo where you are coming from and where others are as well.

If it were strictly for procreation we wouldn't have the ability to fuck during menstruation, while the woman isn't ovulating and while she's pregnant. Pleasure during sex helps bonds.

 

[blame space]

now we're getting somewhere

 

[FrostuTheNinja]

20th century?

Time traveling Greeks...

 

[ryutaro's mama]

You could say the exact same thing about slut shaming.

You only feel shamed if it hits home for you.

So according to you we should slut shame like there is no tomorrow.

Nice try though.

Beta shaming is very real. It is the constant attempt to belittle men who disagree with what feminist are saying.

To me it signals a feminist weakness in arguments when you have to resort to that.

I didn't take offense to Devolution's words like you did, I'm sorry.

It seems to me that you are equating what she said to the most extreme terms of slut shaming.

Her words seemed more matter of fact to me than shaming.

<shrugs>

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

You could say the exact same thing about slut shaming.

You only feel shamed if it hits home for you.

So according to you we should slut shame like there is no tomorrow.

Nice try though.

Beta shaming is very real. It is the constant attempt to belittle men who disagree with what feminist are saying.

To me it signals a feminist weakness in arguments when you have to resort to that.

Is there a thing like "baiting" called betaing? Because this is it.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Hahaha wut? Women approach men all the time just not the same way men approach women, there lies the confusion.

 

[Kitsunebaby]

I'm not at all interested in casual sex. I'd only want to have sex as a part of expressing emotional intimacy and affection. I would very much like to be with someone who feels the same way, and a history of casual and meaningless sex on their part probably means that they don't. So while there's no magical number that's "too much" for me, a very high number is probably an indication that we won't be compatible. This goes for both guys and girls.

 

[Coconut]

1. It doesn't matter how many your sig has slept with, unless its a matter of some kind of self destruction like they are addicted to sex.

2. Never ask a person you are seeing how many people they've slept with, it's a rookie mistake, you'll never like the answer.

3. Being concerned with something like this is a sign of insecurity.

I'm not at all interested in casual sex. I'd only want to have sex as a part of expressing emotional intimacy and affection. I would very much like to be with someone who feels the same way, and a history of casual and meaningless sex on their part probably means that they don't. So while there's no magical number that's "too much" for me, a very high number is probably an indication that we won't be compatible. This goes for both guys and girls.

Do you feel the same way about people that jack it a bunch? Because its kind of the same thing, a disregard for the intimacy of sex.

 

[Madness]

If it were strictly for procreation we wouldn't have the ability to fuck during menstruation, while the woman isn't ovulating and while she's pregnant. Pleasure during sex helps bonds.

Yes, you're correct. The chemicals released during the act help cement bonds as well.

 

[Ken Masters]

All this beta/alpha talk I have done so far was just joking around mostly


But I notice those here attacking others as betas have a nice inferiority complex going

 

[Vermillion]

Also, readLeader:

According to a quick-and-dirty search:

http://www.divorce-lawyer-source.com/faq/emotional/who-initiates-divorce-men-or-women.html
http://aler.oxfordjournals.org/content/2/1/126.short

Most divorces are initiated by the woman, and not the man. Following that, and going off of the reasons for divorce you listed, then the faults could very easily lie with the man, and not the woman.

 

[BamYouHaveAids]

I'm not at all interested in casual sex. I'd only want to have sex as a part of expressing emotional intimacy and affection. I would very much like to be with someone who feels the same way, and a history of casual and meaningless sex on their part probably means that they don't. So while there's no magical number that's "too much" for me, a very high number is probably an indication that we won't be compatible. This goes for both guys and girls.

Sexist beta slut shamer!

 

[Plywood]

Do you feel the same way about people that jack it a bunch? Because its kind of the same thing, a disregard for the intimacy of sex.

What if you're an intimate jacker? Or your jacking is just mechanical but your sex is intimate, we need to go deeper.

 

[Vermillion]

Hahaha wut? Women approach men all the time just not the same way men approach women, there lies the confusion.

Elaborate? How do women approach men?

Yes, you're correct. The chemicals released during the act help cement bonds as well.

For a second, I read the "fluid released during the act help cement bonds as well" and I thought it was a joke about pregnancy and I was gonna laugh but then I quoted you and saw it wasn't and here we are today. So.

What if you're an intimate jacker? Or your jacking is just mechanical but your sex is intimate, we need to go deeper.

I just realized that Inception sex may be a thing. And that someone has probably said some variant of "we need to go deeper" during coitus.

 

[Ken Masters]

Elaborate? How do women approach men?

Eye contact, not joking

 

[Kitsunebaby]

Do you feel the same way about people that jack it a bunch? Because its kind of the same thing, a disregard for the intimacy of sex.

I jack it a bunch, so no. I don't equate masturbation and sex. There has to be some kind of extra motivation to have sex over just getting yourself off (which is a lot less hassle). For me that extra motivation would be affection and love, otherwise I'd rather just fap. I'm not trying to condemn others who feel differently about sex, it's just not really something I want to do without emotions attached.

 

[goldenpp72]

I'm not at all interested in casual sex. I'd only want to have sex as a part of expressing emotional intimacy and affection. I would very much like to be with someone who feels the same way, and a history of casual and meaningless sex on their part probably means that they don't. So while there's no magical number that's "too much" for me, a very high number is probably an indication that we won't be compatible. This goes for both guys and girls.

Must be all the brainwashing society gave you. You should be having withdrawals from the lack of sex with strange new people

 

[royalan]

I'm not at all interested in casual sex. I'd only want to have sex as a part of expressing emotional intimacy and affection. I would very much like to be with someone who feels the same way, and a history of casual and meaningless sex on their part probably means that they don't. So while there's no magical number that's "too much" for me, a very high number is probably an indication that we won't be compatible. This goes for both guys and girls.

But why even bother asking for the number?

I'm really having a hard time understanding why the number of people a partner has been with is helpful or even worth knowing. It proves nothing, and everyone's explanation seems to boil down to insecurities (which means the relationship is likely doomed anyway for a number of reasons), or an attempt to circumvent the work of actually getting to know someone just to be able to attach them to a tell-all number (which, again, relationship doomed).

 

[Coconut]

What if you're an intimate jacker? Or your jacking is just mechanical but your sex is intimate, we need to go deeper.

You had me at deeper.

If you are a dry jacker then definitely intimacy free sex is your thing, but if you are treating yourself with some scented warming jacking oils and it becomes a whole production look out ladies/ gentlemen, this jacker is a lover.

I jack it a bunch, so no. I don't equate masturbation and sex. There has to be some kind of extra motivation to have sex over just getting yourself off (which is a lot less hassle). For me that extra motivation would be affection and love, otherwise I'd rather just fap. I'm not trying to condemn others who feel differently about sex, it's just not really something I want to do without emotions attached.

Interesting, human sexuality is truly a varied thing.

Everyone has there red flags.

For me I acknowledge that everything has an expiration date and that includes attraction, romance, etc... So if anything I look at people who that are more willing to bone down are just more passionate. Which is important to me.

 

[Derwind]

I'm not at all interested in casual sex. I'd only want to have sex as a part of expressing emotional intimacy and affection. I would very much like to be with someone who feels the same way, and a history of casual and meaningless sex on their part probably means that they don't. So while there's no magical number that's "too much" for me, a very high number is probably an indication that we won't be compatible. This goes for both guys and girls.

I get what you mean but casual sex doesn't necessarily mean that there is no meaning to the encounter. Short flings can be ones that you never forget.

But I understand why you would have a barometer in place, it makes sense but I just want to emphasize, for whatever its worth, some people go through strings of one night stands before they find that special someone where their feelings of intimacy & affection become exclusive.

I don't know if that made any sense.

 

[Pau]

Elaborate? How do women approach men?

By sending them private messages on forums.

 

[Kitsunebaby]

But why even bother asking for the number?

I'm really having a hard time understanding why the number of people a partner has been with is helpful or even worth knowing. It proves nothing, and everyone's explanation seems to boil down to insecurities (which means the relationship is likely doomed anyway for a number of reasons), or an attempt to circumvent the work of actually getting to know someone just to be able to attach them to a tell-all number (which, again, relationship doomed).

Oh I definitely wouldn't bother asking for the number. I'm just saying that if I happened to know about a person's sexual history for whatever reason, it would probably affect my decision about whether to go further or not. I wouldn't really seek it out.

I get what you mean but casual sex doesn't necessarily mean that there is no meaning to the encounter. Short flings can be ones that you never forget.

But I understand why you would have a barometer in place, it makes sense but I just want to emphasize, for whatever its worth, some people go through strings of one night stands before they find that special someone whether their feelings of intimacy & affection become exclusive.

I don't know if that made any sense.

That's why I said "probably". I know that as people grow and mature their behavior (sexual or otherwise) is bound to change. However, I'm also not the type to try and "change" someone.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I'm not at all interested in casual sex. I'd only want to have sex as a part of expressing emotional intimacy and affection. I would very much like to be with someone who feels the same way, and a history of casual and meaningless sex on their part probably means that they don't. So while there's no magical number that's "too much" for me, a very high number is probably an indication that we won't be compatible. This goes for both guys and girls.

Same here despite opportunites to do so. Not partaking doesnt mean I judged them for wanting to be with me.

 

[MrGummy]

2013.. Still Slut shaming

 

[Derwind]

That's why I said "probably". I know that as people grow and mature their behavior (sexual or otherwise) is bound to change. However, I'm also not the type to try and "change" someone.

Fair enough.

 

[Vermillion]

Eye contact, not joking

Yes, but there's *plenty* of non-sexual eye contact that ultimately means nothing, or is possibly accidental, etc.

By sending them private messages on forums.

lol, Pau

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Elaborate? How do women approach men?


.

It's anecdotal I'll admit but here it is what I have experienced. When I walk around town and I see a girl and she meets my gaze and smiles its a cue for me that I can go up to her. The opposite is when she sees my gaze and looks away its "Fuck off!" Hahaha. I've only approached a few girls that way but its been positive for me. more non verbal stuff I am thinking of how to describe it. I guess "approach" is a bad way of putting it, like I said more of a non verbal communication of saying "hey come talk to me". Although once I was out at a club and a girl came up to my sister and asked her if she wanted her drink, coming into our lil group so I struck up a conversation with her and we ended up going out for a bit.

I am a shy guy though so even though I catch that shit I don't act on it as much in person. Online dating is a godsend haha.

 

[CornBurrito]

Experience, after I was told this from others


You'll also realize the most beautiful of women also can be the most shy girls you'll ever meet. They're used to being stared at endlessly but rarely talked to and approached directly

Try it next time you go out, thank me later

So no proof at all, except for people in a very condensed area relative to the vast expanse that is the United States and the rest of the world.

You purport that all arranged marriages are misguided.
Perhaps most are.
This is not what I propose though.
I'm not proposing that we resort to , perhaps, arranging OUR OWN MINDS a bit more before deciding what it is we want in our potential mate.

Penny and Lenard from Big Bang Theory is a classic example of inefficiency and extreme incompatibility.
Sadly this is what most of us in society resort to.

I think we need to be more like those kooks the Warrens.

Not everyone who has sex is having sex with someone they want to spend the rest of their life with. Some have one night stands, and calling them apes for it is a disgusting attitude. It isn't immoral at all to have promiscuous sex, presuming the participants practice safe sex. I'd like to see your reasoning for why it is immoral. Simply because it is a pleasurable activity, like playing video games?

 

[Plywood]

If you are a dry jacker then definitely intimacy free sex is your thing, but if you are treating yourself with some scented warming jacking oils and it becomes a whole production look out ladies/ gentlemen, this jacker is a lover.

So going in dry can't be intimate?

 

[sgjackson]