She's your leatherdaddy, OP
Next up: pegging. OP living the life!
Rim jobs are stupidly hot but damn do they require so much prep and maintenance and there's always the risk of a brown eye.
"Must've shot my soul down her throat."
I am dying from laughing so hard. This is almost funnier than that one thread, "Man gets soul stolen in freestyle rap battle."
"Woman sucks man's soul out through his icecream cone."
okay...nobody put peppermint in their butt
please
please nobody do it
What exactly are sprinkles a metaphor for, OP? Lost me on that one.
Just don't abduct her.
Ok, so I just got back from my friend's house and time for the breakdown. So I go over to her place and she invites me in to her bedroom. I'm thinking it as just going to be a regular girl's bedroom, but no she had a rack of floggers and riding crops next to her clothes hamper off to the side and a rather ominous looking Rubbermaid toolbox sitting under it. The room was lit with candles and it just had a very sensual atmosphere going on. She asked me if I was ready and I said yes. She then asked me how I felt about it and if I still wanted to back out. I wasn't going to punk out so I said sure.
She then grabs me, spins me around so 'm facing her bed, undoes my belt from behind, grabs me by the neck, and growls, "Bend over and let me taste that ass."
Of course I freaked out and was like what the hell, but she brought up the fact that I had told her and a group of other friends while drinking that I'm a bit of a switch who leans towards submissive and she wanted to see just how submissive I was. She had me there so I said, "Ok as long as you don't go overboard and violate my consent." She said fine and then pushed me over while dragging my pants off until my lower half was exposed and ass raised in the air like a black Mt. Everest. You have to understand guys, I was nervous as hell because I had no clue what was about to happen. I trimmed my hair, washed my ass inside and out, and still wasn't prepared. She then began to grab my asscheeks and squeeze and lick them while slapping my ass every few seconds and pushed my head into the bed. She got on her knees and I could feel her breath on my ass and testicles as she began softly nibbling on them while slapping my ass still. Then I could feel her mouth next to my asshole and....
I screamed like a girl. Her mouth latched on to my ass like leech and I could feel her tongue delicately swirl around my ass ever so gently, but with enough pressure that I could feel it. I mean she buried her face in it. She took her tongue and started to penetrate me while I'm moaning and toes are being curled. Then she starts to move my ass on her tongue like she wants to get as much of it in me as possible. At this point I'm rock solid and she pulls out and grabs my dick and aims it backwards towards her and she swallows me in one gulp. Not only was this my first time getting my salad tossed, I also never had my dick sucked from the back before. My mind immediately thought of Mike Epps and Friday After Next and I chuckled. She thought I was laughing at her and she slaps my ass repeatedly while sucking me with an almost Hoover like force. That was enough to send me over the edge and I swear I must have shot out my soul down her throat.
She stood over me triumphant and I turned up to look at her. My face?
Her face?
After we cleaned up, she explained that she wanted to talk to me about possibly being her submissive, but she didn't know if I would be into the same things she would. We're going to a local BDSM group munch this weekend. So thank you GAF for convincing me to do it because you might have just hooked me up with an actual partner.
Wait a second. What the fuck is going on with the label for that soap?
This is the worst parody-bait thread I have ever seen.
You the fuckin champ.
this whole thread is like
Hahahahaha good story. You should write erotica novels.
I'm guessing at least half the people in this thread thinks this is real, though.
This is the worst parody-bait thread I have ever seen.
Thread continues to deliver LOLWait a second. What the fuck is going on with the label for that soap?
Wait are you saying I'm lying? That's cool I guess?
Please elaborate?
Just grab some of the peppermint Doctor bronners. If your asshole ain't tingling outside and ~2-3" inside you didn't clean well enough. Only takes a few minutes to deep clean an asshole unless you're dingleberry supreme or something.
This stuff is the best for that booty hole cleaning
This is the worst parody-bait thread I have ever seen
At first I didn't get you were talking about assholes. Not that the date story looks the truest thing, but carry on, I guess.Please elaborate?
The for the heads up. Does it come in raspberry
At first I didn't get you were talking about assholes. Not that the date story looks the truest thing, but carry on, I guess.
I swear I must have shot out my soul down her throat.
Welp. I hope no one asks me to stand up and head over to their cube for the next couple minutes.
Really? Hahaha, mod title change strikes again. Well, congrats on the rimjob! Remember kids, keep it clean, make it happy.Oh my bad. Besada changed it to about ice cream and everyone was confused lol.
Wait are you saying I'm lying? That's cool I guess?
Hey, no shame in wanting to be an erotica novelist. Rimjobs are common but everything else is what gave it away.
Congrats OP, don't know how you got through it without rolling her over and sticking it to her, must have been tough to hold back.
Hahahahaha good story. You should write erotica novels.
I'm guessing at least half the people in this thread thinks this is real, though.
This is the worst parody-bait thread I have ever seen. I've read most believable stories written in 4chan's green text.