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[King Boo]

can i be a charlie brown or gamma ray?

 

[Conciliator]

That sounds like something a beta would say.

Arrggh! Foiled!

 

[SteveWinwood]

I don't have a circle of friends.

:-(

I'd probably not be an Alpha.

Also fuck Fedora's and ball-caps. I wear one of these leather badass hats; Stockman Oily

http://www.bchats.com/hatStyles.aspx

thats pretty beta bro

 

[Raiden]

I'm loud and obnoxious, if that counts?

 

[Coinspinner]

By default, alpha. No friends, you see.

 

[Samk]

I'm loud and obnoxious, if that counts?

Are those the qualifications?

 

[TCRS]

I'm loud and obnoxious, if that counts?

definitely beta. an alpha man knows when to shut up and when to get loud in order to assert dominance.

but don't worry, I'm beta too, though the quiet kind.

 

[ToxicAdam]

I was both. I was the beta in a group of animals and the alpha in a group of nerds.

My life would have been better served if I stayed with the group of nerds and accepted that, but I was too attracted to the danger and excitement the other group provided.

 

[Kurdel]

I don't care about alpha nonsense, but I know I have more influence than any one else in the group.

 

[Hoo-doo]

I'm the alpha among a group of betas. In the grand scheme, still beta.

 

[inm8num2]

anyone who labels themselves alpha is meta

Fixed.

 

[raindoc]

Definitely the alpha. I make sure to thump my chest and grunt loudly at the first sign of defiance from my pack. Any time I make new friends I urinate on them to make sure they know who's boss.

I demand proof, for science' sake.

 

[highrider]

I am physically bigger and stronger than most people, but I'm a pretty passive person.

 

[SystemShock2]

I am the best ever

 

[teruterubozu]

I'm an alphabet soup.

 

[The Smoking Bun]

I will let the great thinkers and philosophers of Cracked.com describe my opinion.

Originally posted by Cracked.com

You are not an alpha male; you're just being marketed to. Some jaded hipster dickhead in lens-less eyeglasses that cost more than your house used the entire "alpha" movement to sell you energy drinks and those shirts that look like douchebag scrimshaw.

Human beings are not wolves. We're not even pack hunters anymore. Modern society has no place for an alpha, a beta, or anything resembling a carnivorous predatory social structure. "Alpha" is just a positive-sounding synonym for "asshole," and it is not an acceptable excuse for behaving like a cocksock, because the sad reality is, there is never an excuse for behaving like a cocksock. Wouldn't it be nice if there were? If there were some social theory, psychological disorder, or gypsy curse you could use to excuse your off-putting behavior? It sure would. But there never has been, and there never will be. It was all a giant lie sold to you by Big Energy to trick you into a mild stimulant addiction, an untruth you received free with every three-pack of TapouT shirts.

I understand why it seems reasonable at first. What is an alpha male if not a beloved antihero, a Wolverine or Han Solo type? Did you agree with that statement? You shouldn't have. It was a trick. See, the alpha mentality slipped through our cultural defenses on the back of an actual truth: Confidence and, yes, even cockiness is attractive.

Here's the difference: An alpha male embraces the label because he secretly suspects that he might be a face full of dicks and he needs a way to spin that into a positive thing. A confident man would shun the very concept of labels because he knows that that's the shit insecure people use to feel accepted. The very second you open your mouth to self-identify as "alpha," you're admitting that you're too insecure to face life alone and on your own terms. You're giving everybody who speaks to you a disclaimer: "I'm going to be a dick to you, and here's why it's OK and you still have to like me." A truly confident man would never give enough of a shit to make that statement.

Being an asshole is like being an alcoholic: The first and most important step is realizing and admitting it. You're not a party animal if you're throwing up rotgut in the parking lot of a Circle K, and you're not an "alpha" if you're harassing uninterested women and trying to start fights with the smallest guy at the bar.



Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-simple-steps-to-not-being-total-asshole/#ixzz2c3LPEXVm

 

[NinjaBoiX]

I'm the alpha among a group of betas. In the grand scheme, still beta.

Meta-beta?

 

[MemoryHumanity]

Is this an American thing because my mind is full of fuck.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

"Who is dis doin' this synthetic type of Alpha/Beta psychedelic funkin',"

 

[entremet]

i never really hung out with groups of people, like a crew for any sustained period of time. I've always been a one on one type or a loner.

 

[SJS]

It depends on the group of people that I'm with. Amongst my core group, I'm either alpha or somewhere in between. With others, it depends on how much mutual liking there is.

 

[Winterfang]

I was the Alpha back in my group of friends, even though I was a huge dork compared to them.

I don't have a group of friends right now, I rarely hang with more than 2 people at the time.

 

[CornBurrito]

Definitely the alpha. I make sure to thump my chest and grunt loudly at the first sign of defiance from my pack. Any time I make new friends I urinate on them to make sure they know who's boss.

Lets be friends TDM.

 

[Stat Flow]

I'm an alpha. Anyone who says anything other than "I'm an alpha" is quite clearly a Beta. They think their friends agree with their silly notions of not labeling but in private one of their friends (or all of them) are calling themselves the alpha.

Beta-GAF thread.

 

[GungHo]

We are an alpha pack.

 

[The Smoking Bun]

I am very much the Starscream of my group.

We are a bunch of guys calling ourselves the Decepti-bro's and are constantly at war with a group of leggy female friends who call themselves the Hot-O-Bots.

We live in Cybertron City, Minnesota.

 

[Borgnine]

I don't have a circle of friends.

:-(

That means you're an Omega.

(source: The Grey starring Liam Neeson)

 

[The Smoking Bun]

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter by the gates into the city.…

 

[Flo_Evans]

I guess I am a beta cause I seriously cannot stand people that think they are doing me a favor or have to have a hierarchy in a friendship.

 

[phillipgessert]

Eliminate these words from your vocabulary.

 

[ElectricBlue187]

Every one of the betas in my group would be an alpha in any other group. That's how fucken alpha I am.

Spoiler

oh god fuckkkk this stupid shit

 

[The Smoking Bun]

A true Alpha would reject labels of any kind and remain humble while leading his people to the promised land.
People would come to him to gain knowledge and wisdom. You know who was REALLY Alpha? Jesus that's who!

 

[ClassyPenguin]

Δ

 

[Theonik]

A true Alpha would reject labels of any kind and remain humble while leading his people to the promised land.
People would come to him to gain knowledge and wisdom. You know who was REALLY Alpha? Jesus that's who!

True alphas in nature are all about territorial pissings so they are not humble by definition.

 

[Samk]

A true Alpha would reject labels of any kind and remain humble while leading his people to the promised land.
People would come to him to gain knowledge and wisdom. You know who was REALLY Alpha? Jesus that's who!

Jesus didn't tap, brah. Hahhahahaha

 

[kswiston]

True alphas in nature are all about territorial pissings so they are not humble by definition.

They are also all about mounting and humping beta males in a display of dominance.

 

[maquiladora]

Insecurities, insecurities eveywhere....

 

[Tornado Condor]

Definitely an alpha

 

[AllIsOneIsNone]

What if...the beta is really alpha and the alpha is really ancient aliens? Shymalamalantwist.gif

 

[Malvolio]

If you care about it, you are already a beta and you don't even know it.

 

[The Smoking Bun]

They are also all about mounting and humping beta males in a display of dominance.

So only Homosexuals can be truly Alpha? Or would that be Bi-Sexual?

 

[AllIsOneIsNone]

If you care about it, you are already a beta and you don't even know it.

Does this mean you're beta since you cared enough to post this? If anything, self-proclaimed alphas probably constantly think of their next alpha bro move.

 

[Coconut]

I'm the beta until I start to escalate KINO and throw some negs at my friends.

 

[Midnight Moon]

I don't look at it that way. I have many different individual friends who are not lumped into one group

 

[Samk]

Does this mean you're beta since you cared enough to post this? If anything, self-proclaimed alphas probably constantly think of their next alpha bro move.

If you think you're a beta but act like an alpha who thinks he's a beta you can only be a beta when there's other non-betas in the room.

 

[Akuun]

Is this an American thing because my mind is full of fuck.

Eliminate these words from your vocabulary.

Yeah I never think about myself using these terms. I'm a guy and I have friends I hang out with. End of story.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

If you care about it, you are already a beta and you don't even know it.

Poific.

 

[Village]

We usually do not care about that kind of thing, we usually end up yelling at each other over video games so...

Take that as you will.

 

[that1dude24]

but there's such a wide variety of letters i could be!
α β γ δ ε ζ η θ ι κ λ μ ν ξ ο π ρ (σ/&#962 τ υ φ χ ψ ω

how can i choose just one?

 

[Opiate]

I virtually never see this jargon used anywhere outside of GAF (outside of this, I see it mostly in the biological sciences). It seems like an internet phenomenon. Maybe I just run in the wrong social circles.