NobleGundam
Banned
Yup. I fucking hated it. She coudnt make her damn mind.
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Ever been in a "not sure if we're dating or not" kind of situation?
- Thread starter Crayons
- Start date
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Coffee Dog
Banned
Be honest. If he says no just remain frienda, there's tons of other guys out there.
I asked him if he missed me and he said "the bed is cold without you". Surely that means something.
Not really the case with me, there is a very limited dating pool for guys my age.
Not really the case with me, there is a very limited dating pool for guys my age.
EmptyCanO'wupass
Member
Not many other ways to take that really. I think you're in the clear, bro.
sketchsanchez
Member
Yeah I was in this kind of situation, then she and my best friend started officially dating., I was pretty pissed...but I got over it. Took a couple of years but I'm good friends with both of them again.
In the end we were just friends with benefits.
In the end we were just friends with benefits.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
I have NEVER said that to another male friend. I want to say odds are in your favor.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
For years I thought I was dating this girl but it turns out we were just friends. I was 18/19. Normally by that age you'd at least know what dating is, but I went to an all-boy high school and was completely cold turkey going into college. I found out later that during this time she was actually seeing guys (I can't even call them "other" guys because I wasn't a guy she was seeing to begin with lol) We stopped being friends for like a year but then started talking to each other again. I bought her flowers and just straight up told her I loved her. We kissed a couple times.
We dated a bit for 8-12 weeks before she decided she still just wanted to be friends and I decided I would rather not associate with one another at all instead of being friends. At the very least, I got her to watch Terminator, Terminator 2, Alien, Aliens, Predator, and the original Star Wars trilogy with me. She was a Mexican national and actually lived on that side of the border so she had never even seen those movies!
I still think about her
oh well
We dated a bit for 8-12 weeks before she decided she still just wanted to be friends and I decided I would rather not associate with one another at all instead of being friends. At the very least, I got her to watch Terminator, Terminator 2, Alien, Aliens, Predator, and the original Star Wars trilogy with me. She was a Mexican national and actually lived on that side of the border so she had never even seen those movies!
I still think about her
oh well
terrisus
Member
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
OP he is probably just as confused and wondering about how you feel as much as you are.
rocketskates
Member
Yep.
That's how the "Hello m'lady" reference popped up. And nobody wants that. Best to be straightforward.
Bingo.
PirateKing
Junior Member
Lol yeah back when I was 16-17, I was hanging around with this chick and apparently she told people that we were going out offcially so people were congratulating me on Facebook and in person. I was in legit shook.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Or an electric blanket.
PirateKing
Junior Member
Are you there because you wanna date or just friendly matters?
If you wanna date him, just straight up tell him. Some guys can't get signals if you're doing that.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
From what you write, if a girl told me that I would be at her place like right now. BUT, since it's a "I am gay but not sure if he is" situation that is tricky. Like I said sounds like he is thinking about you the same way just a bit insecure and thinkng you do not have same feelings. We need Gay-Gaf in here to give you pointers to help you out.
I guess if I was you I would try some non verbal cues like touching and hugging and go from there. Just see if he is comfortable with that. If not just back off.
It's very hard sometimes the amount of mixed signals I've got from other girls is quite surprising when they wanted nothing.
Lactose_Intolerant
Member
Just be straight forward. If it is just a friendship thing, it will be ruined by your attraction over time. If not, you found someone.
Granted, the whole not sure if the guy is comfortable being gay is another topic.
Granted, the whole not sure if the guy is comfortable being gay is another topic.
I actually haven't seen that as a good way to tell because there was this guy who was super touchy-feely with me, always lying his head down on my shoulder and other times holding my hand and then I see him with some girl.
I'm not the slightest bit gay, so I can only say this.
I would never tell another guy that the bed is cold without him.
Straight male friends will joke about being gay for one another, but when they do, it's about as subtle as being smacked by a freight train. It's like you'll be joking about swordfighting with your dicks, or maybe joke about how good each other is at giving the reach around.
But saying the bed is cold? Nuh uh. Never.
Panthalassic
Member
Yeah, but when I finally told her she was seeing someone It sucked a lot.
It sucked a lot.Rushersauce
Banned
I was, until I kissed her. (feels good, man)
Just grow a pair.
Just grow a pair.
For you, if you've already gotten him to open up to you to the extent that he has, you probably honestly don't any advice. Just take it easy, maybe bring up the subject of sexuality without getting too specific. Maybe joke around that it feels like you're dating. Simply naturally take it to wherever it's going end up.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
He could be in the closet... But that bed shit, that's really blunt. If a girl told me that... That's about as straight up as she can be. Next step would be "HEY COME SLEEP IN MY BED".
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
Yeah, this happened twice. The first time she moved before anything could be finalized and the second time she went back to her ex. In hindsight, I dodged a bullet the second time around, but I'm still salty about the first girl moving.
rocketskates
Member
I had to re-read this about 10 times and I still have no idea what you're going on about.
Girls expect something when they go out with him.
EatinOlives
Member
I got exactly this situation going on right now.
I've been "out" with this girl about 4 times now. We talk friendly enough, but she never flirts and doesn't act like she's talking to anyone other than a casual friend.
I mean, that's fine. Not gonna go on a first date and expect to make out or be super flirty within 20 minutes. But on the third date we went to a movie and she literally sat the entire time with her arms crossed. I don't feel like I ever have an opening to flirt without it sounding completely awkward as shit.
Then last week we were going to have dinner at a restaurant. The day of, she says she thinks restaurants will be crowded that day and she instead offers to "hang out at her place". Obviously I'm not gonna "score", she hasn't been in the least bit flirtatious. But at the very least she wants alone time so if we do flirt it won't be awkward in public right?
Nope. I come in the room and she's sitting in a couch, with a single-person living room chair next to it. She offers me to sit on that chair :/ wat. Then the spends most of the time on her computer, while we're "watching" TV. Got so awkward I had to fake being tired just so I could leave.
To her credit, I haven't flirted either. Both of us are extremely new to dating (we're both senior engineers in college, so we have the social skills of 14 year olds), so I have a hard time "blaming" her for anything, but come on. If she's inviting me to her place she can't even invite me to sit on her couch and inch just a tiny bit closer than arm-length distance? I mean, I know the guy has to initiate this sort of thing, but I really don't want any situations where I'm making unwanted advances.
I've been "out" with this girl about 4 times now. We talk friendly enough, but she never flirts and doesn't act like she's talking to anyone other than a casual friend.
I mean, that's fine. Not gonna go on a first date and expect to make out or be super flirty within 20 minutes. But on the third date we went to a movie and she literally sat the entire time with her arms crossed. I don't feel like I ever have an opening to flirt without it sounding completely awkward as shit.
Then last week we were going to have dinner at a restaurant. The day of, she says she thinks restaurants will be crowded that day and she instead offers to "hang out at her place". Obviously I'm not gonna "score", she hasn't been in the least bit flirtatious. But at the very least she wants alone time so if we do flirt it won't be awkward in public right?
Nope. I come in the room and she's sitting in a couch, with a single-person living room chair next to it. She offers me to sit on that chair :/ wat. Then the spends most of the time on her computer, while we're "watching" TV. Got so awkward I had to fake being tired just so I could leave.
To her credit, I haven't flirted either. Both of us are extremely new to dating (we're both senior engineers in college, so we have the social skills of 14 year olds), so I have a hard time "blaming" her for anything, but come on. If she's inviting me to her place she can't even invite me to sit on her couch and inch just a tiny bit closer than arm-length distance? I mean, I know the guy has to initiate this sort of thing, but I really don't want any situations where I'm making unwanted advances.
Next, she'll ask you to go shopping with her. Point being, I think you two are just friends right now. And you have to be okay with that or you have to move on.
terrisus
Member
Did you at least, you know, like put your arm around her at the theatre or something? Initiate any sort of contact? Do anything to show any sort of interest?
Seriously, that was painfully awkward to read.
flamingotripod
Member
Sounds like your in the friend zone bro
Instead of basically asking him twice and not using the word date, try asking him once and using the word date.
EatinOlives
Member
Nope, nope, and nope.
I know, it's my fault just as much. And believe me, it's just as awkward as you think it is.
I'm not being mean, I'm just not getting a vibe that she's all that interested. I keep going out thinking I'm definitely going to show interest at least once, then when I'm with her my brain is going "EVERYTHING SHE DOES SAYS SHE'S NOT INTERSTED, BAIL OUT".
Meanwhile, I'm sure she's thinking "wtf he keeps going out with me and doing nothing to show interest".
I bet you all have nostalgia for your middle school days right about now.
I'll get in touch with her soon enough to go out one last time and I'll straight out ask her. If it's awkward then fuck it, not any less awkward than a thousand dates with us talking like siblings.
With my wife we never actually dated or anything, we went to the same college, would hang out with mutual friends then I would hang out in her room and play video games or watch tv...well ended up making out and having sex and after like the 4th time it was like "I guess we're dating now? Yeah, guess so." That was 17 years ago and now we've been married for 12 and have 3 kids so not a brag post unless that sounds good to you.
terrisus
Member
Nope, nope, and nope.
I know, it's my fault just as much. And believe me, it's just as awkward as you think it is.
I'm not being mean, I'm just not getting a vibe that she's all that interested. I keep going out thinking I'm definitely going to show interest at least once, then when I'm with her my brain is going "EVERYTHING SHE DOES SAYS SHE'S NOT INTERSTED, BAIL OUT".
Meanwhile, I'm sure she's thinking "wtf he keeps going out with me and doing nothing to show interest".
I bet you all have nostalgia for your middle school days right about now.
Yeah, it's quite possible she's just not interested. But, if you are, continuing to go through all those situations waiting for something to happen just seems like a bad idea, if nothing else.
And, to be fair, I was pretty awkward myself. But, fortunately, I got the internet in 1996, when I was in 8th grade, and so that allowed me to find people then. Although finding people on the internet to have real-life relationships was a much different thing 18 years ago (darn, has it really been 18 years? Blah)
"The bed is cold without you"... yeah that's pretty much a green light. Ask him out again, and go for a kiss this time. I assume dating in high school is a lot harder if you're gay, since a lot of people probably aren't open about it at that age. But this looks like a good situation so go for it!
drunkendonuts
Member
yeah, once. i was definitely having a good time, but turned out we weren't in the long run.
best to ask, in my opinion.
best to ask, in my opinion.
freenudemacusers
Member
a couple of times in college, then i began to realize i was just a hookup. felt bad man.
Psychoward
Banned
Yes, recently actually. She lived a bit of a ways away and I wasn't sure if she just wanted to hook up or date... When we first started talking it seemed like we were both in it to hook up but she started texting me all the time and I thought maybe she thought we were in a relationship, that thought was shattered when she told me up front she slept with another guy like it wasn't a big deal. Yeah....
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