SUPERZOMBIE
Oh my god, I've just killed a man! Why did I do it?
Why can't I remember? What's going on?
DAVID CAGE
It was a Mayan Priest. He needs to collect sacrifices to
please his snake-god, so he kills people by taking over
the minds of strangers and having them do the deed
but you're able to resist his power!
SUPERZOMBIE
Why is that?
DAVID CAGE
Because you grew up in Area 51, where you were
irradiated by an alien metal that made you psychic.
SUPERZOMBIE
Ah, so that's why he picked me to do his murdershe
needed a psychic sensitive for his powers to work on.
DAVID CAGE
Actually, no. He just picked you at random. In fact, it's
your psychic abilities that will allow you to foil him.
SUPERZOMBIE
So, out of all the people in New York he could have
picked to murder a stranger, he picked the one person
with the preposterous psychic ability needed to stop
him? Isn't that extremely contrived?
DAVID CAGE
I'm not familiar with that word, contrived. I think you
meant to say "extremely good writing".
SUPERZOMBIE
Sure, whatever. So I just find and kill the Mayan
Sorcerer. That doesn't sound like too much of a chore.
DAVID CAGE
Ah, but first you're going to have to find out the details
of his plan from the blind lady who teaches you how to
use your powers.
SUPERZOMBIE
Why a blind lady?
DAVID CAGE
It's a well-known fact that blind people know a lot about
Mayans. Look it up.
SUPERZOMBIE
Then I can kill the Mayan Witch Doctor and save the day?
DAVID CAGE
Not if the Internet has anything to say about it!
SUPERZOMBIE
Excuse me?
DAVID CAGE
Haven't you heard? The internet is alive now. It
looks like a character from ReBoot and wants to start
a new ice age. Hence the title.
SUPERZOMBIE
Indigo Prophecy?
DAVID CAGE
The original title, dumbass.
SUPERZOMBIE
Okay, so just to be clear, I have to learn how to
be psychic, kill a Mayan Shaman, defeat the internet
DAVID CAGE
Rescue the autistic Messiah.
SUPERZOMBIE
gonna pretend I didn't hear thatand then stop
a new ice age? That about it?
DAVID CAGE
Basically, yes. Also convince your ex-girlfriend to
have sex with you.
SUPERZOMBIE
Well, at least there's that. Hey, can I ask you
something?
DAVID CAGE
Sure.
SUPERZOMBIE
Why does the script refer to me as "SuperZombie"?
DAVID CAGE
You'll find out in about four hours.