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[akira28]

Sexless marriages are very common, especially later in life. I think they said like...only 30% of all 70 yr olds remained moderately sexually active. Also there's the issue of many women not ever having had an orgasm via sex, and women having issues with overwork or child care which evaporates their need for sex... with you. (They'll probably just masturbate, but I guess they don't mention that part?) Plus sex gets boring for women as well, not to mention menopause which fucks with their sex hormones, etc. Shit's complicated. Men and women should just allow people to have a backup mistress. Spouses come first, and everything is completely descret, but it's accepted, and it's known.

Wouldn't that work?

 

[Cooter]

Sexless marriages are very common, especially later in life. I think they said like...only 30% of all 70 yr olds remained moderately sexually active. Also there's the issue of many women not ever having had an orgasm via sex, and women having issues with overwork or child care which evaporates their need for sex... with you. (They'll probably just masturbate, but I guess they don't mention that part?) Plus sex gets boring for women as well, not to mention menopause which fucks with their sex hormones, etc. Shit's complicated. Men and women should just allow people to have a backup mistress. Spouses come first, and everything is completely descret, but it's accepted, and it's known.

Wouldn't that work?

If they both are not jealous which is very rare.

 

[Shanadeus]

Sexless marriages are very common, especially later in life. I think they said like...only 30% of all 70 yr olds remained moderately sexually active. Also there's the issue of many women not ever having had an orgasm via sex, and women having issues with overwork or child care which evaporates their need for sex... with you. (They'll probably just masturbate, but I guess they don't mention that part?) Plus sex gets boring for women as well, not to mention menopause which fucks with their sex hormones, etc. Shit's complicated. Men and women should just allow people to have a backup mistress. Spouses come first, and everything is completely descret, but it's accepted, and it's known.

Wouldn't that work?

Whatever people is okay with and honest about should work.

I doubt that'd be the case for both partners in most relationships though when it comes to backup mistresses for both husband and wife.

 

[Shouta]

It's very common for most couples. It doesn't have to be but in a lot of cases, it is. I think I read somewhere that the more sexually compatible a couple is the more likely the marriage would last and the couple would be happy.

 

[FreeMufasa]

It rocked my world when I found out. I used to think marriage/living with your partner meant sex everyday whenever. Then I started speaking to people and seeing things on TV where the man/woman says "We haven't had sex in months, tonight?"

I'll likely not get married.

 

[Cooter]

It rocked my world when I found out. I used to think marriage/living with your partner meant sex everyday whenever. Then I started speaking to people and seeing things on TV where the man/woman says "We haven't had sex in months, tonight?"

I'll likely not get married.

A couple below 50 not having sex in months indicates other problems in their relationship. Don't let this fear stop you.

 

[reptilescorpio]

I edit the OP. I meant couples who used to have sex, but then the sex slows down or stops after a couple of years for whatever reason. How common is that.

Depends on available time and energy. Now that I have a son and work long hours full time my sex drive is lowered. If work was less stressful and I actually had time to sit down and relax I am sure it would improve. Not that I am worried, still more than once a week but not as often as when we first started going out.

 

[Shanadeus]

It rocked my world when I found out. I used to think marriage/living with your partner meant sex everyday whenever. Then I started speaking to people and seeing things on TV where the man/woman says "We haven't had sex in months, tonight?"

I'll likely not get married.

Marriage probably doesn't matter, it is after all nothing more than a long-term relationship with some cultural baggage attached to it - primarily more social pressure to have kids (e.g to "settle down").

I think it's that last bit that affect the sex life of married couples, that they have their relationship is officially recognized probably doesn't matter.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

Something Something Seek Out Old Leykis Recordings About The Subject On Youtube Something

 

[stufte]

Almost 13 years married, and no problems. It all depends on who you marry and what kind of relationship you have...

 

[akira28]

Leykis is a hack. Loveline dude. You've never heard the term 'frigid'?

That's a woman who has "gone cold", or has no interest in sex (with you) any more.

And yeah, it all depends on a bunch of stuff. Its a dice roll. When I hear about people in their 50s still happily going at it, I am glad.

 

[Angry Fork]

have you guys seen that commercial for "Man Up" on ABC?

the guy's playing video games, right? and he's talking to his man friends, and his one man friend says, "how'd you convince your wife to let to let you play video games tonight?" and then there's a cut to the guy talking to his wife (she's folding clothes) and he's like "wanna have sex tonight?"

HAHA! Man Up on ABC catch it right after Last Man Standing with Tim Allen 8:30/7:30c on ABC!

rofl fuck I hate jokes/shows like this. Pure broad garbage.


Anyway I think a better question is, if sex is less during marriage, how come? Do women lose interest? I believe women have the same interest in sex as guys they just don't show it as much. But if they're married to someone then they can have it as much as they want.

Is it a matter of being tired/used to them so much that they're not turned on by each other anymore? The 'folding clothes' thing is definitely something where if I had a wife and it got to THAT point I would bail the fuck out. I cannot see myself living one of those sitcom average marriage household things. It's always gotta be interesting and changing and I'd leave if I felt things were stagnant (not necessarily talking about sex but attitudes towards each other in general).

 

[ryutaro's mama]

Leykis is a hack. Loveline dude.

I listen to both.

 

[crazy monkey]

marriage is not about sex. It will be about love mostly and sex will come with it. Do not marry to get sex if you do that you are doing it wrong.

 

[Satchel]

Haven't had the kid yet (due in 2 weeks) so I'll let you know.

Been married just over 2 and half years and it's off an on.

We go through periods where we don't do it for a couple of weeks or so, then other periods where we'll do it far more regularly.

Depends on what's going on in our lives at the time. Or how much sleep I've been getting.

Wife is hitting the age now where she'll be getting close to her sexual peak, where I've hit the age where mine is supposed to slow down, so it's going to be an interesting time when you chuck a kid in there.

I still jerk off fairly regularly (especially while the wife is preggers), so I know my libido is ok.

 

[akira28]

I still jerk off fairly regularly (especially while the wife is preggers), so I know my libido is ok.

No sex with the pregnant wife?

 

[ThisWreckage]

Marriages are never sexless if one cheats.

 

[RustyNails]

marriage is not about sex. It will be about love mostly and sex will come with it. Do not marry to get sex if you do that you are doing it wrong.

What if you reaaly like the person and she is caring, mature and understanding?

 

[AlexMogil]

Sexless marriage is very uncommon on forum posts.

 

[computers putin']

As long as we both got a sex drive and we're not having sex, then there is a problem.

 

[marrec]

If your GF is not a freak and craving it before marriage with kids I'd say don't do it. Life happens and it probably will decrease with responsibilities so make sure a decrease is still a healthy acceptable level. If not you will end up miserable. Take it or leave it.

I had to marry my wife and knock her up just to get her to lay off every so often.

True story.

 

[SillyEskimo]

I was an extremely active man whore for about 5ish years. I've been married for 6 years, children for 4.5 of them. My sex life is better than ever. Your marital sex life is what you make of it, just like everything else in life. It takes work and a good partner. All these people with no sex life are doing it wrong and refuse to believe they're either a part of the problem, or do not want to admit that they chose a poor partner.

 

[Skilotonn]

Kids tend to put a damper on that, so if you don't want a sexless marriage, that's one step to look out for.

 

[alternade]

Stealth......brag thread??

 

[Kusagari]

I don't even think it's so much the kids part. Sexless marriage to me is another example of how many couples aren't really happy in their relationships anymore but stay together anyway.

Most likely either because they have children or because they're old and don't want to bother with a divorce.

 

[crazy monkey]

What if you reaaly like the person and she is caring, mature and understanding?

well obviously lol . I think you know what I mean. Marriage is so much more it has been amazing to me at least.

 

[matt360]

I know sexless marriages are extremely common here in Japan, especially after kids arrive on the scene. I also know that Japan ranks dead last in terms of the number of times a year that married couples actually have sex. That gave me reason for pause before I married my Japanese girlfriend, but so far so good. We've talked about all that stuff beforehand so we seem to be on the same page for the most part.

I know that sex isn't everything, but, to me, it is extremely important. I'd probably get out of a sexless marriage assuming I had done everything possible to get the spark back.

 

[likeGdid]

How normal is it for blowjob quantities to diminish to near zero?

...

 

[RustyNails]

well obviously lol . I think you know what I mean. Marriage is so much more it has been amazing to me at least.

Yeah I do. But for me it's an opportunity where if I pass, I won't find anyone else who will respect me and likes to please me as much as this girl. She is also a wonderful, caring person.

 

[Shanadeus]

Yeah I do. But for me it's an opportunity where if I pass, I won't find anyone else who will respect me and likes to please me as much as this girl. She is also a wonderful, caring person.

No such thing as a one of a kind soul mate.
Of course, if you have like this gal then there's no reason not to stay with her.

 

[ScientificNinja]

When a kid or two comes on the scene, here's how the average day plays out:

FOR HIM:
5.30am: Kid1 wakes up for the day. Brush its teeth. Give it a bottle, sit it down in front of TV with Dora.
5.45am: Shit, shave, shower.
6.15am: Make breakfast for her. Eggs on toast... something better than cereal.
6.30am: Wash up, clean out and load dishwasher, load the washing machine and dryer, water the garden, then spend a few minutes to play with the kids.
7.15am: Drive Kid1 to day care.
7.30am: Drop off kid at day care, then drive to work.
8.30am: Arrive at office after fighting through shit traffic.
~
6.30pm: Leave office
7.00pm: Arrive home. Finish feeding Kid1.
7.15: If Kid1 finishes dinner, reward with jello or chocolate.
7.30: Dinner. Kid1 runs freely through the house to scream over our conversations, throw paper airplanes, cause a riot.
8.30pm: Brush Kid1's teeth, change into pajamas, read 3 bedtime stories, then put to sleep. Kid1 will not fall asleep unless both parents are keeping it company by sitting at the foot of its bed.
9.30pm: Clean dishes and kitchen, reload the dishwasher while catching up on what happened during the day.
10.00pm: Collapse on couch. Catch the late news or whatever's on.
10.30pm: Check on Kid1 and Kid2.
10.35pm: Surf web, play games, all the great things in life until I pass out, usually 1.00am.
3.00am: Kid1 cries. Doesn't want me. Screams.
3.05am: Kid2 woken up by Kid1. Go settle.
3.20am: Kid2 won't settle for more than a few minutes at a time. Sleep on floor and settle every few minutes until good and done.
4.00am: No idea when Kid2 fell asleep. Drag myself back to bed.


FOR HER:
5.30am: Kid2 wakes up for the day. Breastfeed, then prepare breakfast for Kid1 and Kid2.
6.00am: Kid2 goes in playpen; get Kid1 to the toilet, then feed Kid1 breakfast
6.30am: Get Kid1 dressed and ready for day care
6.45am: Feed Kid2 breakfast
7.15am: Clean up Kid2, change nappy, wipe up spew and any random poo
7.30am: Kid2 in playpen, shit, shower and whatever it is that women do.
8.00am: Play with Kid2 while unloading dryer and washing machine and folding clothes
8.30am: Put Kid2 in bed for a nap.
8.35am: Start preparing dinner for everyone - washing, cutting, peeling a whole bunch of food. Food for Kid1 and Kid2 is all specially prepared meals - no processed shit for them.
9.30am: Free time.
10.00am: Kid2 wakes up. Play with kid, watch Alice In Wonderland for the 40th time
11.30am: Lunch while feeding Kid2 lunch
12.15pm: Clean up Kid2, change nappy, wipe up spew and any random poo
12.30pm: Nap time again for Kid2
12.35pm: Finish off laundry, iron the clothes, clean the house (toys on floor, under the couch, food stains on the walls and floorboards, random stains on the carpet)
2.30pm: Kid2 wakes up. Get it changed, load it into the pram, take it to playgroup.
3.30pm: Go out to supermarket for bread, milk, baby yoghurt, supplies, etc.
4.30pm: Pick up Kid2 from childcare.
5.30pm: Bath time for Kid1 and Kid2.
6.15pm: Kid1 goes in front of TV, Kid2 in highchair while dinner is prepared for both.
6.20pm: Kid2 fed.
6.50pm: Kid2 allowed to crawl around freely or put in pen, whichever works. Kid1 fed.
7.00pm: Kid1 goes to bed.
7.05pm: Cook dinner
7.30: Dinner. Kid1 runs freely through the house to scream over our conversations, throw paper airplanes, cause a riot.
8.30pm: Brush Kid1's teeth, change into pajamas, read 3 bedtime stories, then put to sleep. Kid1 will not fall asleep unless both parents are keeping it company by sitting at the foot of its bed.
9.30pm: Clean dishes and kitchen, reload the dishwasher while catching up on what happened during the day.
10.00pm: Collapse on couch. Catch the late news or whatever's on.
10.30pm: Exhausted. Face cleansing routine, brush teeth, bed.
3.00am: Kid1 cries. Wants me. Screams.
3.20am: Kid1 won't sleep unless I sleep with her.
3.45am: Sneak back to bed.


Of course, I've left out a lot of important details such as the tantrums, toilet training Kid1, the daily office dramas and whatnot, but that's pretty much EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK for us, with the exception of weekend, in which my schedule pretty much syncs with her's.

Trust me, sex would be nice, but it's the last thing on our minds right now.

 

[Marty Chinn]

When a kid or two comes on the scene, here's how the average day plays out:

FOR HIM:
5.30am: Kid1 wakes up for the day. Brush its teeth. Give it a bottle, sit it down in front of TV with Dora.
5.45am: Shit, shave, shower.
6.15am: Make breakfast for her. Eggs on toast... something better than cereal.
6.30am: Wash up, clean out and load dishwasher, load the washing machine and dryer, water the garden, then spend a few minutes to play with the kids.
7.15am: Drive Kid1 to day care.
7.30am: Drop off kid at day care, then drive to work.
8.30am: Arrive at office after fighting through shit traffic.
~
6.30pm: Leave office
7.00pm: Arrive home. Finish feeding Kid1.
7.15: If Kid1 finishes dinner, reward with jello or chocolate.
7.30: Dinner. Kid1 runs freely through the house to scream over our conversations, throw paper airplanes, cause a riot.
8.30pm: Brush Kid1's teeth, change into pajamas, read 3 bedtime stories, then put to sleep. Kid1 will not fall asleep unless both parents are keeping it company by sitting at the foot of its bed.
9.30pm: Clean dishes and kitchen, reload the dishwasher while catching up on what happened during the day.
10.00pm: Collapse on couch. Catch the late news or whatever's on.
10.30pm: Check on Kid1 and Kid2.
10.35pm: Surf web, play games, all the great things in life until I pass out, usually 1.00am.
3.00am: Kid1 cries. Doesn't want me. Screams.
3.05am: Kid2 woken up by Kid1. Go settle.
3.20am: Kid2 won't settle for more than a few minutes at a time. Sleep on floor and settle every few minutes until good and done.
4.00am: No idea when Kid2 fell asleep. Drag myself back to bed.


FOR HER:
5.30am: Kid2 wakes up for the day. Breastfeed, then prepare breakfast for Kid1 and Kid2.
6.00am: Kid2 goes in playpen; get Kid1 to the toilet, then feed Kid1 breakfast
6.30am: Get Kid1 dressed and ready for day care
6.45am: Feed Kid2 breakfast
7.15am: Clean up Kid2, change nappy, wipe up spew and any random poo
7.30am: Kid2 in playpen, shit, shower and whatever it is that women do.
8.00am: Play with Kid2 while unloading dryer and washing machine and folding clothes
8.30am: Put Kid2 in bed for a nap.
8.35am: Start preparing dinner for everyone - washing, cutting, peeling a whole bunch of food. Food for Kid1 and Kid2 is all specially prepared meals - no processed shit for them.
9.30am: Free time.
10.00am: Kid2 wakes up. Play with kid, watch Alice In Wonderland for the 40th time
11.30am: Lunch while feeding Kid2 lunch
12.15pm: Clean up Kid2, change nappy, wipe up spew and any random poo
12.30pm: Nap time again for Kid2
12.35pm: Finish off laundry, iron the clothes, clean the house (toys on floor, under the couch, food stains on the walls and floorboards, random stains on the carpet)
2.30pm: Kid2 wakes up. Get it changed, load it into the pram, take it to playgroup.
3.30pm: Go out to supermarket for bread, milk, baby yoghurt, supplies, etc.
4.30pm: Pick up Kid2 from childcare.
5.30pm: Bath time for Kid1 and Kid2.
6.15pm: Kid1 goes in front of TV, Kid2 in highchair while dinner is prepared for both.
6.20pm: Kid2 fed.
6.50pm: Kid2 allowed to crawl around freely or put in pen, whichever works. Kid1 fed.
7.00pm: Kid1 goes to bed.
7.05pm: Cook dinner
7.30: Dinner. Kid1 runs freely through the house to scream over our conversations, throw paper airplanes, cause a riot.
8.30pm: Brush Kid1's teeth, change into pajamas, read 3 bedtime stories, then put to sleep. Kid1 will not fall asleep unless both parents are keeping it company by sitting at the foot of its bed.
9.30pm: Clean dishes and kitchen, reload the dishwasher while catching up on what happened during the day.
10.00pm: Collapse on couch. Catch the late news or whatever's on.
10.30pm: Exhausted. Face cleansing routine, brush teeth, bed.
3.00am: Kid1 cries. Wants me. Screams.
3.20am: Kid1 won't sleep unless I sleep with her.
3.45am: Sneak back to bed.


Trust me, sex would be nice, but it's the last thing on our minds right now.

How old are the kids? And how were they when they were younger? I'm just trying to gauge what I'm probably going to encounter in the future. Right now we have probably the easiest kid in the world but I always expect any day now for that to no longer be the case. My day currently is pretty much:

7 to 7:30am: Wake up to the girl babbling.
7:30am: Play with the girl
8:00am: Feed the girl her bottle
8:40am: Get ready for work
9:00am to 9:30am: Drive girl to daycare
9:30 to 10:00am: Arrive at daycare
9:40 to 10:10am: Arrive at the office
~
6:00pm: Leave for home
6:30pm: Arrive at home and play with the girl
7:00pm: Feed the girl her last bottle for the night
7:30pm: Start cleaning her up and change her for bed
8:00pm: Lay her down for bed
8:10pm: Eat dinner
9:00pm: Watch TV, browse the Internet, other random free time stuff
12:00am: Clean up, dishwasher, etc
1:00am: Go to bed

So my schedule is pretty easy so far, but I'm curious when all that changes.

 

[ScientificNinja]

How old are the kids? And how were they when they were younger? I'm just trying to gauge what I'm probably going to encounter in the future. Right now we have probably the easiest kid in the world but I always expect any day now for that to no longer be the case. My day currently is pretty much:

7 to 7:30am: Wake up to the girl babbling.
7:30am: Play with the girl
8:00am: Feed the girl her bottle
8:40am: Get ready for work
9:00am to 9:30am: Drive girl to daycare
9:30 to 10:00am: Arrive at daycare
9:40 to 10:10am: Arrive at the office
~
6:00pm: Leave for home
6:30pm: Arrive at home and play with the girl
7:00pm: Feed the girl her last bottle for the night
7:30pm: Start cleaning her up and change her for bed
8:00pm: Lay her down for bed
8:10pm: Eat dinner
9:00pm: Watch TV, browse the Internet, other random free time stuff
12:00am: Clean up, dishwasher, etc
1:00am: Go to bed

So my schedule is pretty easy so far, but I'm curious when all that changes.

Two. It all turns to shit when they turn two.

 

[Ichabod]

Sombre daily schedule

Jeebus man, that's one of the most depressing things I've read in awhile.

 

[ToxicAdam]

If it's 80-90 percent of those that end in divorce, that's a hell of a lot.

How normal is it for blowjob quantities to diminish to near zero?

...

100 percent counting all my married friends and coworkers.

 

[RustyNails]

When a kid or two comes on the scene, here's how the average day plays out:
...

From your post at the end of your schedule, I thought you were a single parent. But then you said "ours" so I assume the kids' mom/your wife/significant other is also in the picture? But I didn't see her anywhere. The list is pretty much you getting up, feeding your kids, playing with your kids, dropping them off at daycare, picking them up, feeding them again, doing dishes and whatnot. Where's mommy?

Edit: NVM, For him is you and For her is your spouse. My bad.

 

[sangreal]

I'm only close to 3 married couples and all 3 are sexless (if you don't include extramarital)

I don't mean occasional sex either. Talking 5+ years in one case

Also, I'm under 30

 

[Shanadeus]

I'm only close to 3 married couples and all 3 are sexless (if you don't include extramarital)

I don't mean occasional sex either. Talking 5+ years in one case

Also, I'm under 30

Do they have any children?

Correlation=/=Causation, people!

 

[ronito]

I
100 percent counting all my married friends and coworkers.

aw man and I thought I was your friend

 

[WickedAngel]

The physical aspect of a relationship is just as important as the emotional aspect of it. If your partner suddenly changes their sexual tendencies upon entering into marriage, you're doomed.

One party shouldn't be dragged into celibacy against their will and the expectation that they should is definitely a good justification for divorce.

 

[bengraven]

It's getting kind of rare for me, but there's a good reason: my wife has cysts the size of crabapples in her uterus.

 

[noire]

I've been thinking about marriage lately and I am just wondering, how common is a sexless marriage?

I am guessing it is probably common, but is it something that men should expect heading into marriage?

Edit: I mean there is sex at the beginning, but then it drops off for some reason.

Extremely common in my house. No kids. Was sexless before the marriage but I kept thinking it would get better.

 

[Cooter]

100 percent counting all my married friends and coworkers.

Must be a small sample size. If your wife knows how important sex is to you and you communicate that to her then her withholding it is her way of looking for an out. It's not wrong to split up with someone who refuses to have sex with you.

 

[manipulate]

have you guys seen that commercial for "Man Up" on ABC?

the guy's playing video games, right? and he's talking to his man friends, and his one man friend says, "how'd you convince your wife to let to let you play video games tonight?" and then there's a cut to the guy talking to his wife (she's folding clothes) and he's like "wanna have sex tonight?"

HAHA! Man Up on ABC catch it right after Last Man Standing with Tim Allen 8:30/7:30c on ABC!

Are you a wizard?

 

[travisbickle]

I'm only close to 3 married couples and all 3 are sexless (if you don't include extramarital)

I don't mean occasional sex either. Talking 5+ years in one case

Also, I'm under 30

This is unbelievable! Can you tell us more?

 

[bengraven]

Must be a small sample size. If your wife knows how important sex is to you and you communicate that to her then her withholding it is her way of looking for an out. It's not wrong to split up with someone who refuses to have sex with you.

I think it depends on reasoning though. You need to find out why she won't have sex with you.

 

[Cooter]

I think it depends on reasoning though. You need to find out why she won't have sex with you.

Is there ever a good enough reason? If she can't separate other issues she might have with you from the bedroom that's a bad sex life.

 

[ToxicAdam]

Must be a small sample size. If your wife knows how important sex is to you and you communicate that to her then her withholding it is her way of looking for an out. It's not wrong to split up with someone who refuses to have sex with you.

I was talking about bj's.

That would be a hell of a conversation to have with your parents when you tell them you left your wife and kids because she wouldn't suck your weenie anymore.

 

[Count Dookkake]

If you have a sexless marriage, despite trying to talk through the problem, the upside is that you get to cheat without guilt.

 

[Cooter]

I was talking about bj's.

That would be a hell of a conversation to have with your parents when you tell them you left your wife and kids because she wouldn't suck your weenie anymore.

lol. Yes, it would. That still might be grounds for a split up. Why would the person you love so much who you chose to spend the rest of your life with refuse to do a normal routine sex act? There are other issues there and she's taking it out on your sexual needs. Should not be taken lightly and if you do you will end up miserable.