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[xelios]

No oral sex is a terrible life, not worth it.

A mouth is just a wet hole. If she prefers you putting it in another wet hole, what's the difference?

lol. You'll get head someday.

 

[Cooter]

Maybe if you stopped saying stuff like this she might want to have sex with you.

.
You have no idea. I wouldnt have married a woman who isn't as sexually active as I am. However, judge away.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

.
You have no idea. I wouldnt have married a woman who isn't as sexually active as I am. However, judge away.

haha. People change. Nobody can assume their partner will continue wanting sex at high doses well into marriage. Even moreso when kids enter the arena.

 

[jaxword]

I plan to have a sexless marriage because I've lived this long without it, so why change?

 

[Count Dookkake]

haha. People change. Nobody can assume their partner will continue wanting sex at high doses well into marriage. Even moreso when kids enter the arena.

There is good change and bad.

There is also negotiation.

 

[Plywood]

No oral sex is a terrible life, not worth it.

 

[Ketchup Boy]

How screwed up in the head am I if I actually thought for several seconds you were talking about marriages inbetween alien races that don't have separate sexes and saw nothing unusual in it?

lmao what the hel!

 

[Cooter]

haha. People change. Nobody can assume their partner will continue wanting sex at high doses well into marriage. Even moreso when kids enter the arena.

Sure people change but to be in your 20s and 30s not getting BJs is unacceptable. Especially if you put maximum effort in to pleasing them. Catch my drift? I understand many don't hold sex in such high importance as I do and that is fine. My advice is for men who share my appetite. Don't settle for infrequent sex. You will be miserable. Sex isn't everything but it is a major pillar in my happy marriage. It's more than a physical need.

 

[manipulate]

As soon as my wife had our kid-Boom. That well is dry and she is not in the slightest bit interested in opening up for business. She's retired in her mind. Yes-it was a total
Bait and switch in my case. I could leave, but I have a 3 year old daughter and I don't know if I can handle her dealing with a divorce. My own parents divorced when I was 3 and I remember how difficult it was for me. It would kill me not to be with my daughter every morning and night-so for now I've been forced into celibacy against my will.

So what does she say when you bring this up?

 

[justjohn]

Sluts and whores are there for a reason. Use them

 

[Famassu]

Yeah but sometimes just the act of bringing up problems like this may have consequences.

If that's the case then your partner is either an insufferable drama queen or you've got bigger problems. You should be able to talk about problems without it immediately leading to (the risk of) divorce/breaking up or some super-heated arguments.

 

[matt360]

I'm with Cooter. And like nib95 said, if my married sex life dwindles to less than once or twice a week for a consistent amount of time, I'm out. I've actually had that exact conversation with my (now) wife. However, I'll be the first to admit that I'm horny all of the time and if I had my way I'd be boning my wife six times a week. I realize that is unrealistic, but to me sex is a HUGE part of marriage and if my wife closes up shop for good then I will take that as a sign that it's time to move on. I know that's easier said than done, but like others have said in this thread, physical needs are just as important as emotional needs.

I also think it's bullshit if a woman won't give bjs because she thinks they are demeaning. If a woman is so proud that she can't bring herself to bite the bullet and give pleasure to someone she's committed to spending the rest of her life with, then she's not a person worth being with in my opinion. A person like that will always be a taker and never a giver.

 

[nib95]

Yeah but sometimes just the act of bringing up problems like this may have consequences.

And shunning the issue aside won't have consequences? Trust me, a lack of communication will have worse consequences in the long run.

There's an element of courage (along with understanding, tact and compromise) involved with all of these sorts of conversations, but avoiding these matters is perhaps the worst thing you could do. Problems will only escalate, though perhaps not immediately.

 

[Sarcasm]

Currently time atm doesn't allow us too

=(

Also going into surgery soon.

 

[Marty Chinn]

Currently time atm doesn't allow us too

=(

Also going into surgery soon.

I don't get how ass to mouth somehow prevents you from having normal sex.

 

[nib95]

Currently time atm doesn't allow us too

=(

Also going into surgery soon.

Time doesn't allow you to? Wut? Lol. You could just things snappy, but at the very least surely 10-30 minutes (if you're that time constrained) isn't that hard to find?

Dude, nobody has time, you have to make time. Whether it be cutting another hobby, chore, responsibility etc out.

Though the surgery part naturally is a completely different story.

 

[Devolution]

Just read this thread. I have to wonder what kind of BJs TA has been gettin' to minimize them to such a degree. Just sayin' bro.

I dunno if for whatever reason I'm not in the mood and he's frisky, I'll suck a dick. Better than just laying there like a corpse.

I'm going to regret posting this later.

 

[jaxword]

Sluts and whores are there for a reason. Use them

Spoken like a gentleman of refinement and taste.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Just read this thread. I have to wonder what kind of BJs TA has been gettin' to minimize them to such a degree. Just sayin' bro.

I dunno if for whatever reason I'm not in the mood and he's frisky, I'll suck a dick. Better than just laying there like a corpse.

I'm going to regret posting this later.

Initiate regret sequence!

 

[Always-honest]

The older i get, the more i hear and realise that a lot of couples have very little sex, or even no sex at all.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

I hear horror stories about people that have abundant sex lives with their mates...until they get married.

Then the bottom falls out and the true intentions are revealed.

It's prolly the leading cause for divorce. Sex is a pretty big deal and for it to go away is, welll...difficult for people to take.

(my theory is not scientific)

 

[ryutaro's mama]

I also think it's bullshit if a woman won't give bjs because she thinks they are demeaning. If a woman is so proud that she can't bring herself to bite the bullet and give pleasure to someone she's committed to spending the rest of her life with, then she's not a person worth being with in my opinion. A person like that will always be a taker and never a giver.

Especially if you are pleasing her orally.

 

[Devolution]

I also think it's bullshit if a woman won't give bjs because she thinks they are demeaning. If a woman is so proud that she can't bring herself to bite the bullet and give pleasure to someone she's committed to spending the rest of her life with, then she's not a person worth being with in my opinion. A person like that will always be a taker and never a giver.

If she's honestly thinking BJs are demeaning when they're a fine type of intimacy between two people, she's got some larger issues at work that need dealing with. Most sexual interaction doesn't have to be demeaning, especially if it's about pleasuring your partner. Sounds like such a bullshit excuse, it's not like the dude is asking for bukkake.

 

[Pixel Pete]

some curious opinions in here. I get BJ's sometimes, but I never finish on them. They are pretty fucken magical generally speaking, but as long as I was having sex I wouldn't miss them if they were to disappear forever.
My biggest problem is ping-ponging. When I'm randy I'll so easily flirt with any number of fantastical, unscrupulous ideas just to get my kicks off. But when the bags are dry, a cuddle keeps me happy. Rinse/repeat.
But I'm not married. Happily de-facto for nearly 3 years now, but sex happens 1-3 times a week, usually just once or twice. But I manage enough alone time to deal with myself if need be. Whether thats working in my favour, who knows..

 

[Sarcasm]

Time doesn't allow you to? Wut? Lol. You could just things snappy, but at the very least surely 10-30 minutes (if you're that time constrained) isn't that hard to find?

Dude, nobody has time, you have to make time. Whether it be cutting another hobby, chore, responsibility etc out.

Though the surgery part naturally is a completely different story.

Between just moving to a new country.

Me teaching in the PM and going to school in the AM. Her working.

Well I guess it could be worse I do get bjs.

 

[FreeMufasa]

I'm with Cooter. And like nib95 said, if my married sex life dwindles to less than once or twice a week for a consistent amount of time, I'm out. I've actually had that exact conversation with my (now) wife. However, I'll be the first to admit that I'm horny all of the time and if I had my way I'd be boning my wife six times a week. I realize that is unrealistic, but to me sex is a HUGE part of marriage and if my wife closes up shop for good then I will take that as a sign that it's time to move on. I know that's easier said than done, but like others have said in this thread, physical needs are just as important as emotional needs.

I also think it's bullshit if a woman won't give bjs because she thinks they are demeaning. If a woman is so proud that she can't bring herself to bite the bullet and give pleasure to someone she's committed to spending the rest of her life with, then she's not a person worth being with in my opinion. A person like that will always be a taker and never a giver.

What the hell? this scares me. 6 times a week is considered unrealistic?

 

[jaxword]

Especially if you are pleasing her orally.

Yes, seriously, I get the impression some guys here aren't putting in the effort down there. Sex is a two person dance, you get as much as you give.

 

[Always-honest]

Yes, seriously, I get the impression some guys here aren't putting in the effort down there. Sex is a two person dance, you get as much as you give.

Most of the time, yes. And let's be real here, most guys are fucking idiots. But sex is not always a two person dance. I do hear stories left and right of women just changing at some point. And those are caring and giving men i'm talking about.

What the hell? this scares me. 6 times a week is considered unrealistic?

extremely.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

My wife "Says" we should have sex more, different case when I try to have sex with her. :/
Does not want to admit she's not into sex anymore, but realizes we should be having more sex. Also get's jealous of other women and accuses me of affairs. SMH.

 

[jaxword]

Most of the time, yes. And let's be real here, most guys are fucking idiots. But sex is not always a two person dance. I do hear stories left and right of women just changing at some point. And those are caring and giving men i'm talking about.

Ah, well, that's the psychological aspect of relationships entering the equation, I was just talking about developing physical intimacy.

If a woman stops caring about you, she stops caring, no amount of cunning wordplay will change that.

 

[Sarcasm]

My wife "Says" we should have sex more, different case when I try to have sex with her. :/
Does not want to admit she's not into sex anymore, but realizes we should be having more sex. Also get's jealous of other women and accuses me of affairs. SMH.

Sounds like you two need to take a getaway or spice things up.

 

[ajim]

My wife "Says" we should have sex more, different case when I try to have sex with her. :/
Does not want to admit she's not into sex anymore, but realizes we should be having more sex. Also get's jealous of other women and accuses me of affairs. SMH.

Sounds fucked. I'd hate to be in that situation.

 

[jaxword]

My wife "Says" we should have sex more, different case when I try to have sex with her. :/
Does not want to admit she's not into sex anymore, but realizes we should be having more sex. Also get's jealous of other women and accuses me of affairs. SMH.

Sounds like she's really insecure about something and it's manifesting itself with "Why aren't we having more sex? Are you interested in other women? Don't you find me attractive?"

To put it gently, has she had anything that may affect her ego lately? Gained some weight, lost job, stopped going to yoga, etc?

 

[speedline]

Sex decreased after marriage, but that is mainly due to having children. We've been married almost 11 years and I still get it on a regular basis.

 

[Sofo]

I don't see why it should? Granted my partner and I both enjoy sex with each other and we don't contemplate kids, why would marrying simply slow it down or stop it? If it's due to the circumstances, well that's fine, but for the simple fact of marrying, libido and attractiveness should be unaffected.

I can't wait to enjoy being married, living together, and having the whole house for us to ravage it in delicious gay sex.

 

[AgentOtaku]

Almost 13 years married, and no problems. It all depends on who you marry and what kind of relationship you have...

8 years married here.

Sex life is better than ever.

I will say, so much more goes into wanting to continue to sleep with someone. Lust fades ya know.

My wife and I go in waves. Lots of sex, then once a week. Then lots of sex. Been a year and a half. Oh the joy of marriage!

Sex isn't the best part of marriage though, it's a benefit. Call me a wimp, but the level of intimacy I have with my wife both in and out of the bedroom is simply amazing, and makes me a happy, confident man. A real man takes care of his wife above himself.

gets it

 

[Always-honest]

Ah, well, that's the psychological aspect of relationships entering the equation, I was just talking about developing physical intimacy.

If a woman stops caring about you, she stops caring, no amount of cunning wordplay will change that.

No, that's not always the case. Prengancy, giving birth, hormones, etc. can change a woman in her basic sexdrive. The love can still be there.

 

[Always-honest]

My wife and I go in waves. Lots of sex, then once a week. Then lots of sex. Been a year and a half. Oh the joy of marriage!

Sex isn't the best part of marriage though, it's a benefit. Call me a wimp, but the level of intimacy I have with my wife both in and out of the bedroom is simply amazing, and makes me a happy, confident man. A real man takes care of his wife above himself.

What does all this have to do with marriage? if you would have a relationship without marriage, what would be different?

 

[Dina]

Tough shit Davis. Props for sticking with your kid, but you might wonder if a happy father she sees in the weekends (and a happier mother during the week) isn't a better option then both parents who aren't happy, all the time.

No advice here since I wasn't married with my ex for three years, but I will say that a sexual decline was part of the reason we didn't work out. It was both our fault, but saying that sex doesn't matter is delusional.

 

[beelzebozo]

you may find this book helpful.

Languishing desire in a relationship actually results from all the factors people look for in love and marriage: grounding, meaning, continuity. Partnerships are supposed to provide "a bulwark against the vicissitudes of modern life," Perel notes, and in one person we turn for all the emotional connections that the greater society (church, community, family) can no longer provide. Habit and certainty kill desire, yet how to live comfortably with the elements of unpredictability and risk that are necessary for healthy eroticism? Perel supports her nicely accessible work with case studies of couples both heterosexual and gay, spanning all ages, with kids and without, in an attempt to cure what ails their sex life. Some of the proposals Perel recommends for rekindling eroticism involve cultivating separateness (e.g., autonomy) in a relationship rather than closeness (entrapment); exploring dynamics of power and control (i.e., submission, spanking); and learning to surrender to a "sexual ruthlessness" that liberates us from shame and guilt. In short, Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience.

just a thought!

 

[ThisWreckage]

Sex is nothing more than a bargaining tool in marriage. In a standard relationship, women can't use sex as a weapon. Threaten not putting out and I'll simply move on. In marriage, however, you are bound to that person financially among other things.

 

[likedamaster]

It's fairly common.

However, I let it go her way on one big decision recently and now I get sex everyday... when I want, however I want.

Feels good man.

 

[BLagiver]

Don't expect the guy to not cheat if you aren't giving him any. I mean what is the problem women? sex would take like 2 minutes wam and bam and put your husband to sleep in seconds. Why is it so hard to please your spouse. If I want some and don't get it then I'm gonna cheat on you because you don't give a crap about sex or id start watching porn.

 

[Kentpaul]

3 years here, don't believe in marriage (Don't believe in god), I'm still having sex every other day!, working sex round our working life's is a challenge

 

[Always-honest]

Sex is nothing more than a bargaining tool in marriage. In a standard relationship, women can't use sex as a weapon. Threaten not putting out and I'll simply move on. In marriage, however, you are bound to that person financially among other things.

I don't agree. Me and my GF just do it when be both feel horny. Pure and simple.

3 years here, don't believe in marriage (Don't believe in god), I'm still having sex every other day!, working sex round our working life's is a challenge

Sure, 3 years, especially if it's a first or second relationship, will give you lots of sex provided both people are curious and willing to give eachother pleasure.
Now check in this thread when you're with her for, let's say, 13 years (and maybe have kids and two jobs).

 

[Kentpaul]

I don't agree. Me and my GF just do it when be both feel horny. Pure and simple.

This, that being said me giving my girl a back rub leads to sex 95% of the time.

 

[Flek]

This, that being said me giving my girl a back rub leads to sex 95% of the time.

iam doing it wrong then obviously

 

[Kentpaul]

iam doing it wrong then obviously

Slip your hand round and get rubbing!

 

[Kinitari]

The trick is to find a woman who thinks emotional connectivity is only achieved through sex. More sex than can handle.

 

[ScientificNinja]

The trick is to find a woman who thinks emotional connectivity is only achieved through sex. More sex than can handle.

lol - this.