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How common is a sexless marriage?
- Thread starter neutralgamer02
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acheron_xl
Member
SmokyDave said:
You can save money on whores if you can talk the lady into an open marriage.
reptilescorpio
Member
...shit. I've got 11 months to enjoy then.ScientificNinja said:
mescalineeyes
Banned
This is the most depressing piece of shit thread in existence. Thank you for ruining my day.
LegendofJoe
Member
Marleyman said:
Where there's a will there's a way I say. Don't let the anecdotes in here spoil your weekend. It's your damn wedding man, enjoy every second of it.
Healthy sex is an essential part of communication within a long term relationship. If you aren't having regular sex, you aren't getting that non-verbal communication needed for happiness.
And lack of blowjays? Really? Do those guys not give head either? Mouth sex is amazing, giving or receiving. I cannot fathom sex outside of a quickie that doesn't involve a ton of oral.
That said, perhaps the answer lies in ToxicAdam's answers. Reducing the mouth to "another hole" and sex to simply the pursuit of orgasm leads me to believe he isn't cut out for sex in long term relationships. It's the journey, not the finish.
In this way, lack of sex = "not being there emotionally". I see it as perfectly valid someone would end a marriage over the lack of such an essential bonding, pleasurable exercise. It's essential. If you're married and not getting sex, either the partner has an unhealthy, ToxicAdam approach to sex or they simply don't love you anymore.
And lack of blowjays? Really? Do those guys not give head either? Mouth sex is amazing, giving or receiving. I cannot fathom sex outside of a quickie that doesn't involve a ton of oral.
That said, perhaps the answer lies in ToxicAdam's answers. Reducing the mouth to "another hole" and sex to simply the pursuit of orgasm leads me to believe he isn't cut out for sex in long term relationships. It's the journey, not the finish.
In this way, lack of sex = "not being there emotionally". I see it as perfectly valid someone would end a marriage over the lack of such an essential bonding, pleasurable exercise. It's essential. If you're married and not getting sex, either the partner has an unhealthy, ToxicAdam approach to sex or they simply don't love you anymore.
beelzebozo
Jealous Bastard
Marleyman said:
definitely check out the book i recommended.
and congratulations! it can be the best thing that ever happens to you, if you communicate, and if you're receptive and creative.
I don't get why couples don't divorce because of the kid. Maybe I'm too young to understand but wouldn't divorce be better than having a kid grow up in a home thats not full of laughter or happiness? They can sense that. Would you want your kid to stay in the marriage if he was in that situation when he was older? or try to pursue another road at a chance of beinghappy?
Its common, my marriage isn't sexless but for some reason my wife has decided she doesn't have to give bj's or tit jobs anymore. It bugs the crap out of me, if she keeps it up she's getting the boot.
I'm only 26 too guess she got the memo early that once she gets the ring she doesn't have to do shit.
I'm only 26 too guess she got the memo early that once she gets the ring she doesn't have to do shit.
LegendofJoe
Member
Marleyman said:
Anytime, hope you have a blast.
I've been reading about that recently. It's being debated. It's hard to do much research on kids in unhappy families that don't divorce, so they're not really sure, but I think people are leaning more on not getting divorced is better for children. The single greatest risk factor for people (how well they do in school, if they commit crime, suicide, etc) is whether or not they had a father in their home.Prologue said:
For sure there are situations where divorce is better, but I'd say that if it's just a matter of "happiness", that staying together for the kids is better for the kids.
SillyEskimo
Member
A sexless marriage is grounds for divorce. It's called Constructive Abandonment.
Always-honest
Banned
Yeah well.. ofcourse you are right, but when you have a kid things often get another perspective. I can see how people can make that work. It can only work with committed, rational and sensible people though.Prologue said:
Anyway, all i see in most relationships that end is that two people are soo consumed by anger that they forget about what's really good for the kid. Some people are soo fucking stupid and clueless.
In the end most people start a relationship based on very little or shallow reasons. And that's completely normal from a biological point of view. But for the wellbeing of a kid, you need to think harder i'm afraid. Very few people actually do that.
may i ask why you are still together?Ecrofirt said:
My bf and I broke up because we didn't have sex anymore.
Was really sad because I loved him so much but he just didn't wanna do it anymore and it stressed me out and the more upset I got about it the less he would even talk about it. So yeh. A healthy sex life is a shared requirement, you both should either want to do it, do it occasionally or are happy not doing it. I wanted to do it and he didn't want to and it frustrated us both in the end.
Was really sad because I loved him so much but he just didn't wanna do it anymore and it stressed me out and the more upset I got about it the less he would even talk about it. So yeh. A healthy sex life is a shared requirement, you both should either want to do it, do it occasionally or are happy not doing it. I wanted to do it and he didn't want to and it frustrated us both in the end.
krypt0nian
Banned
Utako said:
I'll never understand this attitude. They spared you the horror of being around people that are miserable but staying together anyway. You were better off as a "divorce kid"
discocaine said:My bf and I broke up because we didn't have sex anymore.
Was really sad because I loved him so much but he just didn't wanna do it anymore and it stressed me out and the more upset I got about it the less he would even talk about it. So yeh. A healthy sex life is a shared requirement, you both should either want to do it, do it occasionally or are happy not doing it. I wanted to do it and he didn't want to and it frustrated us both in the end.
Were you married?
beelzebozo
Jealous Bastard
Ecrofirt said:
i'm very sorry to hear this. it seriously makes me really damn sad. were i in your position, i'd be candid with my wife about the situation and count my losses, but in that position you would know much better than i what was the correct course of action.
regardless, best of luck to you.
WickedAngel
Banned
Ecrofirt said:
You wouldn't necessarily have to if you could make the argument that she's emotionally and physically isolated you.
If it's as bad as you say, you need to realize the very real fact that you could get destroyed in divorce court if she were to file first even if it's truly her fault. Divorce court is pretty damned biased in favor of women unless the woman is just a total fuckup.
bengraven
Member
I know some women who lost their libidos due to Marena and other implants.
I don't recommend those to anyone.
That said, if a woman loses her libido due to a medical procedure, especially a procedure after you have had children, I can't see a man being looked at as the "good guy" for leaving his wife.
I don't recommend those to anyone.
That said, if a woman loses her libido due to a medical procedure, especially a procedure after you have had children, I can't see a man being looked at as the "good guy" for leaving his wife.
krypt0nian
Banned
bengraven said:
In that case, should she be ok with opening up the marriage or making him suffer for life?
It's better to have happy parents who are divorced than to have parents that resent each other but stay together "for the good of the children." Edit: I mean, children aren't stupid, children are usually quite good at picking up those kind of "vibes" (they might not understand it, but they might still know something is wrong and perhaps even blame themselves of it, especially if the parents argue a lot and the subject of _the children_ comes up in those arguments). And children should get a good model of a healthy relationship from their parents. If they don't love each other and stay together just because they "have to", then that might cause some problem with the childrens' love lives too, especially if they see their parents act coldly towards each other.Utako said:
of course if the parents are divorced yet still continue ruining each other's lives by making everything too complicated and problematic, that isn't good either. A clean divorce where the parents still act at least somewhat decently/friendly towards each other is the best case scenario, when it comes to wife & husband growing apart and there being children in the mix.
Krauser Kat
Member
The worst time is coming up for me. I just had a terrible cold for a week then she got my cold for this whole Week and at the end of it all she is going to go into her no fun time week. 2 1/2 weeks is rough. we have our first vacation alone together soon (january) i can wait for it. The sex will be awesome.
Also some birthcontrol can hinder sexual libido, as well as anti depressants which my wife is also on really mild ones because of stress anxiety.
Also some birthcontrol can hinder sexual libido, as well as anti depressants which my wife is also on really mild ones because of stress anxiety.
TheNatural
My Member!
ScientificNinja said:
This should be a sticky thread on every forum on the internets for population control. I'm never having kids.
krypt0nian
Banned
TheNatural said:
That timeline reads like a horror story, except real.
JetBlackPanda
Member
i'm sorry but a sexless marriage = divorce
I think most men with families can deal with sex a few times a month or less but if it stops completely?? recipe for disaster.
I think most men with families can deal with sex a few times a month or less but if it stops completely?? recipe for disaster.
HeadlessRoland
Banned
krypt0nian said:
As per statistics and common sense, yes. Its not like two adults cant be in a marriage of convenience and not act like raging douchebags in front of their children.
Harry Dresden
Member
We don't iron clothes. I don't even think we have an iron in the house. If you get your shit out of the drier and hang it up it doesn't wrinkle.
Yeah I'm sad to say this has happened to my marriage. We go months and months now. It sucks. We kept it up after the first kid but when the second came along - romance and intimacy died. We really stopped being a couple and instead are co-workers at Raising Children Inc.
Parenting itself is pretty fucking all-encompassing and overwhelming. The itinerary posted above is spot on. Here's the other thing: how can I as a man go 12 - 14 hours taking care of a 4 and 6 year old, bringing my thoughts and conversation down to their level, and then once they're in bed - poof - I'm all ready to eat pussy and fuck? Never mind the bone-wearying and mind-numbing fatigue, how do I make the transition from nanny-nurse to stud inside the short time-frame given? Sex becomes one of the lowest priorities, and the lowest priorities always don't get done.
Ever since I became a 'hands-on' daddy with equality in my heart I've actually become quite sexist. This men and women sharing the same roll is fucking bullshit. I don't know how to act most times.
Parenting itself is pretty fucking all-encompassing and overwhelming. The itinerary posted above is spot on. Here's the other thing: how can I as a man go 12 - 14 hours taking care of a 4 and 6 year old, bringing my thoughts and conversation down to their level, and then once they're in bed - poof - I'm all ready to eat pussy and fuck? Never mind the bone-wearying and mind-numbing fatigue, how do I make the transition from nanny-nurse to stud inside the short time-frame given? Sex becomes one of the lowest priorities, and the lowest priorities always don't get done.
Ever since I became a 'hands-on' daddy with equality in my heart I've actually become quite sexist. This men and women sharing the same roll is fucking bullshit. I don't know how to act most times.
Mister Wilhelm
Member
Don't get married if you like sex.
Only get married if you need kids. Not WANT kids. Feel a deep, undeniable longing in your soul to procreate. Only then does marriage make any sense at all.
Only get married if you need kids. Not WANT kids. Feel a deep, undeniable longing in your soul to procreate. Only then does marriage make any sense at all.
blame space
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Famassu said:
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