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I found out I got a girl pregnant, advice?

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Tesseract said:
there's no child, just a bundle of dividing cells and whatnot. how about she accept the consequences of her actions and trash the bugger.
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That's life. A human life in extremely early development, but it is definitely human.

And it is also your offspring.
 
This is a delicate subject ( and my opinion is most certainly in the minority here on GAF), but I will say this: There are numerous families and even single women out there desperate to have children who can't. So don't ever forget about the adoption alternative.
 
hal9001 said:
czsMYtF.png
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I lost it. Lol
 
norm9 said:
OP will have to work two dead end jobs to barely pay for the kid and never be around since he'll be working.
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My dad had a good job but he wasnt really around a ton because of that. I have a lot issues with my father that I had to work out, I wouldnt want my kid to feel that. At least my father had a good job so we had food an fun things, I feel like this kid would come up in a similar situation but broke, and not in a 2 parent household.
 
Tesseract said:
there's no child, just a bundle of dividing cells and whatnot. how about she accept the consequences of her actions and trash the bugger.

all this man up talk is silly. woman up, how's that, doesn't sound as stoic.
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Wow, what a gross fucking person you are.
 
JoeBoy101 said:
That's a funny way of spelling 'being irresponsible'. He's man, he has to act like one. But I love how you act like his life is over because of a child. His life would 'change', not end. Some you are some real misanthropes calling the child a 'parasite', 'little bastard', and otherwise.
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Yup. Scumbags.
 
Ishida said:
It's a new life. You are ending a new life in development for your own personal satisfaction.

Besides you must think the OP is some sort of futureless idiot. We don't know, he may be up to the challenge. You guys acting like a baby is somehow the end of the world are truly pathetic. You man up. Your perspective on the world changes. Your life changes. And having a baby usually changes you for the better.
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It's not a life. It's not even a tadpole at this stage. Tesseract is being extremely crude, but he's not really mistaken. Calling it a kid is jumping several months into the future.
 
Jonboy said:
This is a delicate subject ( and my opinion is most certainly in the minority here on GAF), but I will say this: There are numerous families and even single women out there desperate to have children who can't. So don't ever forget about the adoption alternative.
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This too. Aborting isn't the only alternative. Plenty of people out there who want to start their own family but are unable to.
 
Hylian7 said:
You must have a really mysoginistic world view if the first thought of a casual sex partner being pregnant is "SHE'S SETTING HIM UP!"
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Yeah very "mysoginistic"


As someone that had kids and is trying to have another, 2 weeks is crazy short. Very much a red flag.
 
reading through this thread is making my thankful for my own life that I get to experience in a universe so astonishingly huge
 
JoeBoy101 said:
That's a funny way of spelling 'being irresponsible'. He's man, he has to act like one. But I love how you act like his life is over because of a child. His life would 'change', not end. Some you are some real misanthropes calling the child a 'parasite', 'little bastard', and otherwise.

But in less he's planning to be violent with the girl, it WILL be up to her. And the moral choice there is to support her. Not be a irresponsible fucktard who rather fart off than accept the consequences of his actions.
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Finally some sense.
 
Hystzen said:
You same person who jumped on OP back in that Last Of Us thread then hunted down his PSN to prove he lying over difficulty so you cant really say anything.

Some girls do lie about this might not be case here but it smart to confirm 100% before committing to something this scale
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That has nothing to do with this, and you are misrepresenting what happened.

In any case, of course some people lie, but no one in here knows the girl so only OP can make that call on whether or not there's reason to believe she isn't telling the truth
 
You made a little mistake, OP. Luckily for the both of you, you can easily get rid of this little mistake. Don't ruin your life. Make your position ABUNDANTLY clear to her that you want an abortion. Good luck to you guys.
 
ChouGoku said:
Im kind of freaking the fuck out right now. There is a girl I used to have sex with, she kind of wanted more but I just wanted to keep it casual, and I let her know that. She didn't like that she she broke it off. I was cool with that, I understood her pov and let bygones be bygones. Well two weeks ago I was out drunk as hell and I ran into her at a bar, we went back to my place and had drunk unprotected sex. Well yesterday I find out I got her pregnant.
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ChouGoku said:
Im 24 shes 21
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ChouGoku said:
Im just in school, and work. I basically live paycheck to paycheck and have a dead end job. She is in school to be a hair stylist and lives with her parents. When she told me she was pregnant she made it very clear she was broke which is kind of a trend for her.
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From all this, unless you two believe that life beings at conception, you guys are the perfect poster people for having an abortion. No relationship, no money, no prospects, young.

I get it if you've been in a relationship for several years and have talked about marriage, or if you have careers but piles of loans, other situations where having a child may be inconvenient, but ultimately is something you both want. Then it's like, oh, do we have an abortion now and have our child in three years, or do we do this now and sacrifice in the short term?

You guys have ticked all the boxes. Other than being pro-lifers this decision should be pretty simple.
 
Gordon Shumway said:
Congrats on the sex.
Whatever she decides, you ride.
Use a damn rubber next time..ya big dummy.
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.

Just let her know having a kid with you doesn't mean the two of you will be together and that you would prefer if she chose the other option. Otherwise, it's her call and there's nothing you can do about it.

Gordon Shumway said:
Use a damn rubber next time..ya big dummy.
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Because it needs to be quoted again.
 
reKon said:
reading through this thread is making my thankful for my own life that I get to experience in a universe so astonishingly huge
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Think of all the children who were never born because their almost-dads came into a condom.

Same situation as with an abortion. Being more active changes the ethical intuition, but the state of the world and the lack of caused harm is just the same in both cases.
 
Hylian7 said:
You must have a really mysoginistic world view if the first thought of a casual sex partner being pregnant is "SHE'S SETTING HIM UP!"
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It was his first thought because according to OP she's confirming to him that she's pregnant at 2 weeks. Having lived through my wife's pregnancies, 2 weeks is 2 soon. It's not impossible for a woman to 'have a hunch' or maybe have some discharge, but confirmed pregnant at 2 weeks? Atypical at best.
 
ClosingADoor said:
There were two people in the bed. Nothing one sided about it. Deal with the consequences of your decisions. No contraception works 100%, but at least use it since it does for the most part.

That said, don't know what I'd do. Have a good talk with her, see where she stand and make clear what you want. If those positions differ, at least support her after and be there for the kid.
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Let me play devil's advocate for a second. And let me re-iterate devil's advocate because i don't want the mighty morphin social justice rangers after me over something that isn't even a personal opinion or statement. I know how some people on here take shit the wrong way so let me clear that up.

It's her choice if that baby comes into this earth or not, right? He gets 0 say. Doesn't matter it's the mothers body her choice that's fine. But what protects the father in the situation? He's forced to pay child support no matter what right? Is that really fair if he wanted nothing to do with the kid? Shouldn't the father be allowed to choose just as she chose to have it? Father didn't force her to have it. It's not unheard of some women popping condoms for the purpose of getting pregnant then collecting child support.

So why isn't there a system in place to protect the other body in that bed?

Again. Not saying i support deadbeat dads just throwing a little devil's advocate in here.
 
ChouGoku said:
I went to planned parenthood by myself to get all the information when she had a party to go to. Ill be there for the procedure and everything, maybe she doesnt think that
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What? Someone needs to check their priorities.

Based on your opening post, she wanted more out of the relationship so you broke it off? Make sure she's not faking it to keep you around... it happens.

If it turns out that she is pregnant, get a paternity test. If it is yours, be responsible, support her, and don't pressure her into abortion; let her decide.
And for the record, wrap it before you tap it.

Best of luck.
 
Tesseract said:
there's no child, just a bundle of dividing cells and whatnot. how about she accepts the consequences of her actions and trash the bugger.

all this man up talk is silly. woman up, how's that, doesn't sound as stoic.
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You're onto something.....is it all her fault then?
 
vogelkacke said:
you really dont sound like youre ready for a kid so convince her to abort it or everyone involved in this is gonna suffer


^^ he said himself hes not ready so please stfu and dont ruin his life in advance
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you don't know if she's gonna suffer. Maybe she has the full support of her parents.


I have a personal investment in this. My sister was knocked up in a drunken hookup with her boyfriend of a month. She took 4 tests, all came back positive. He said he was on board even though he pushed for an abortion (my sister didn't want one). Everything was good to go until the first sonogram where they heard the first heartbeat and a week later he fucked off. Didn't speak to her anymore and when she did get a hold of him, it was guilt trip central. When it was clear he wasn't gonna be apart of my nephew's life, my sister got him where she knew it would hurt. His wallet. When he got served, he finally came around. Fucking prick. She has him until he's 18 years old and he pulls the same bullshit "I can barely make ends meet" fuck it, still nails him.
 
You gotta treat your dick like your supposed to treat a loaded gun...

..don't stick it in anything unprotected that you wouldn't want to impregnate..

..and sorry.. it's her choice, not yours. You can be an asshole and push her all you want though.. more power to ya.. but you made a stupid choice.

Some of my best friends came out stupid choices though.. besides in reality the rest of your life was probably gonna suck anyhow.. might as well have it suck while raising a kid.
 
ChouGoku said:
Im kind of freaking the fuck out right now. There is a girl I used to have sex with, she kind of wanted more but I just wanted to keep it casual, and I let her know that. She didn't like that she she broke it off. I was cool with that, I understood her pov and let bygones be bygones. Well two weeks ago I was out drunk as hell and I ran into her at a bar, we went back to my place and had drunk unprotected sex. Well yesterday I find out I got her pregnant. Now I was kind of freaking out but I remembered a conversation I had with her when we had unprotected sex when we were hooking up and we both agreed that abortion was an option. When I figured out she was pregnant in person yesterday, it still seemed like abortion was an option. She kind of made some off hand remarks that made made me kind of think but I thought it was me overreacting as usual and misreading her. I went out and did some research yesterday and let her know she would have to use her insurance as I am going to pay for it. I texted her today asking about the insurance ans she tells me that she is feeling emotional and she is both terrified of having an abortion and having a kid. We are supposed to meet up in an hour. I am a mix of emotions right now, mostly anger as we both agreed that abortion was an option. I'm am not ready to be a father for multiple reasons and the thought of it is making my anxiety go crazy, any advice?
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You can go with the cliche responses if you like, but do you want to be a father one year from now? Are you in a position to be a father one year from now?
 
ChouGoku said:
Im kind of freaking the fuck out right now. There is a girl I used to have sex with, she kind of wanted more but I just wanted to keep it casual, and I let her know that. She didn't like that she she broke it off. I was cool with that, I understood her pov and let bygones be bygones. Well two weeks ago I was out drunk as hell and I ran into her at a bar, we went back to my place and had drunk unprotected sex. Well yesterday I find out I got her pregnant. Now I was kind of freaking out but I remembered a conversation I had with her when we had unprotected sex when we were hooking up and we both agreed that abortion was an option.
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Who the hell talks about abortions when they are having sex? I think/hope I'm just misreading.

Anustart said:
It's possible. Girl did it to me before. On purpose.
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That might not be the case....but yeah, it also happened to a friend of mine. Girl lied to him, said she got the abortion and that they had to pay it off in installments. After a couple months he found out that he was actually paying her rent.
 
Tesseract said:
there is no kid, not until it pops out and breathes on its own. until then its an abortable parasite. what's selfish is ruining someone's future because they dropped a load of useless sperm in the wrong place.
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Just to clear things up, you believe that women have the right to abort because it's their body, their decision, and it's merely a parasitic clump of cells that can be disposed of without any sort of moral implications because it isn't able to sustain itself outside of the womb. It is essentially an invader, and if the woman wishes, she can remove it. On the other hand, you believe it would be selfish of the woman to decide to go through with the pregnancy and have the baby, therefore criticizing her for having agency and making a specific decision in regards to her body. Is that correct? If not, feel free to clarify.
 
styl3s said:
Let me play devil's advocate for a second. And let me re-iterate devil's advocate because i don't want the mighty morphin social justice rangers after me over something that isn't even a personal opinion or statement. I know how some people on here take shit the wrong way so let me clear that up.

It's her choice if that baby comes into this earth or not, right? He gets 0 say. Doesn't matter it's the mothers body her choice that's fine. But what protects the father in the situation? He's forced to pay child support no matter what right? Is that really fair if he wanted nothing to do with the kid? Shouldn't the father be allowed to choose just as she chose to have it? Father didn't force her to have it. It's not unheard of some women popping condoms for the purpose of getting pregnant then collecting child support.

So why isn't there a system in place to protect the other body in that bed?

Again. Not saying i support deadbeat dads just throwing a little devil's advocate in here.
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you know what causes women to go for child support? It's not the one night stands. it's when the father decides to drop the girl like a bad habit or when he stops giving a shit.
 
Your life could be over, and you have literally no say in this. If she decides to keep it, be prepared to support her.

hal9001 said:
czsMYtF.png
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^ Truth

Here's hoping that it was a false positive, or some other mistake. Otherwise...eh. I don't know what to say. I've got several years on you and I'd be freaking out even harder if I found out I was going to be a dad. Then again, I'd also make sure I was snipped or using a condom if I was going to fuck random strange. Hindsight is 20/20.

Best of luck. If this was a mistake and she's not actually pregnant, remember this every time you find yourself in a similar situation.
 
jett said:
And at the end of the those nine months, that little bastard will be his to deal with for the rest of his life.
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You think it's over for her just after 9 months? She's also involved with raising it. Guess what, if she does abort the baby, he also goes free, but she still has to deal with going through the abortion.
 
Jawbreaker said:
Just to clear things up, you believe that women have the right to abort because it's their body, their decision, and it's merely a parasitic clump of cells that can be disposed of without any sort of moral implications because it isn't able to sustain itself outside of the womb. It is essentially an invader, and if the woman wishes, she can remove it. On the other hand, you believe it would be selfish of the woman to decide to go through with the pregnancy and have the baby, therefore criticizing her for having agency and making a specific decision in regards to her body. Is that correct? If not, feel free to clarify.
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it's selfish (in that) a dude is financially locked into supporting a kid he doesn't want.
 
Kama_1082 said:
you know what causes women to go for child support? It's not the one night stands. it's when the father decides to drop the girl like a bad habit or when he stops giving a shit.
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I can admit i am 1000% ignorant when it comes to anything involving childs, child support, parenting etc.

I'm a gay dude who can't get dudes pregnant so i never worry or try to educate myself on the situation it's why im asking questions.
 
Tesseract said:
there is no kid, not until it pops out and breathes on its own. until then its an abortable parasite. what's selfish is ruining someone's future because they dropped a load of useless sperm in the wrong place.
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So they should also start killing pre-mature babies that require breathing support after birth? I was one of those babies. I sure am glad my parents didn't view me as a parasite.
 
Sorry, time to man up and get ready to be financially supportive of hers and your child. You have nine months to get ready.
 
Well I don't like kids and feel they ruin the best years of your life so I'd try to convince her to abort, especially since neither of you seem ready and aren't even together so it wouldn't be the best life for the kid anyway.
 
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