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Important-Can someone explain to me how a Bidet is better than Toilet Paper?

With Toilet Paper you get right in there and get the job done, you can put on your pants and boxers without having to worry.

With a Bidet you squirt water up your ass and now it's soak and wet, and the pieces it doesn't get become liquified so now when you put your pants and underwear on it feels moist, and when you check later you have nice wet poo stains all over your trousers.

If you had toilet paper and a Bidet combined that could be the ultimate cleaning tool but a Bidet by itself? How is that better than nice sturdy 1-ply or 2-ply toilet paper? You are just getting all moist, wet, and stinky for no reason, I don't want poo stains absorbed into my boxers.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what a Bidet actually does but as far as I know it just squirts water up there and that's that, nothing to dry it with, and nothing to double check if the job was done correctly.

When I fly to Europe or certain countries in Asia I always pack a 12-roll package of toilet paper unless the hotel mentions it in the amenities, and yes, some hotels internationally do know that Americans want a superior clean, and do mention on their websites if the hotel has toilet paper.

For those that defend the Bidet can you please explain how just a few squirts up the bum and your done is a better clean than actually taking a cloth and cleaning your rump?
 

Sub_Level

wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding what a Bidet actually does

You are. The bidet wets the area and cleans out some. Then you wipe and get the rest while simultaneously drying the wet area. Then if its still dirty you wet it again and repeat. You don't just turn the bidet on for 5 seconds and expect it to be clean.

Its like wet wipes for a 1\1000th of the cost.
 

Liljagare

Member
One pushes fecal matter against the skin and rubs it in, the other washes it off?

Rigourous wipers are the ones that most often develop boils and fistulas.. :p
 

Atrus

Gold Member
Bidets at newer hotels come with heated seats, temperature controlled water jets and a blow dryer with variable everything.

Since I lack an outlet for those at home, I added handheld bidet hoses instead.

Adjustable pressure wash clean and paper dry beats paper only every day.
 

Yoshi

Headmaster of Console Warrior Jugendstrafanstalt
If you get shit on your hand are you cool with just wiping it off with a paper towel before you eat?
So, did I understand you correctly, when you get shit on your hand, just squirting water on it (and maybe wipe some paper towel on it, in addition) is sufficient to eat?
 
First you wipe your ass once or twice with paper to remove the bigger poop that is in danger of spreading everywhere. Then you use a bidet. I dont have a bidet but I use the same method with the bath drain

THIS!!

If any of you cavemen have no clue what bidet is for or how to clean your ass after doing the deed
 
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Cybrwzrd

Banned
So, did I understand you correctly, when you get shit on your hand, just squirting water on it (and maybe wipe some paper towel on it, in addition) is sufficient to eat?
No but we also don't eat from our asses. I assume you don't either.

Preferably I'd use soap on my ass as well, but it isn't really an option - and no I don't eat with my ass. So I use those cleaning wipes that are really good at clogging up pipes. I'd kill to have a bidet to use in tandem.
 

Airola

Member
I'd kill to have a bidet to use in tandem.

By the way, is the bidet you all are talking about the kind of thing that's in the picture in that above video?
I'd hate to use something like that. In Finland though the kinds of handheld bidet shower things are super common. I use that if things get very nasty.
 
I would still just use wet wipes. Our asses should always be clean, but don't kid yourself if you think it will remain that way for long with all the sweat, farts, and hairs down there. Also for dudes the close proximity of your balls.
 

Cybrwzrd

Banned
By the way, is the bidet you all are talking about the kind of thing that's in the picture in that above video?
I'd hate to use something like that. In Finland though the kinds of handheld bidet shower things are super common. I use that if things get very nasty.

I can't see the video since I'm at work, but what I think of for a bidet is a washlet.

 
I don't know about some of the people here... However, my experiences with Bidets were unanimously great. One in particular would shoot a hot water jet right into my ether portal and after it was all said and done, every wipe from that "toilet" was spotless. I still wiped, though. I'm anal about that.
 
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I can't imagine using only a bidet with no toilet paper at all. There is no way a bidet could get everything out of my butthole. A combination of both would be best but if have to pick one I'm going with the paper.
 

Thaedolus

Gold Member
I don’t think anyone chooses just one or the other? When I lived in South America, bidets always had a rag or something next to it (and fuck no I never used a community ass rag). When I was in Japan, all modern buildings had bidets built in and toilet paper too.

In conclusion, I really want Santa to bring me one of those bidet kits for Christmas because damn it feels better than just toilet paper. I almost always wait to hop in the shower in the morning because I hate the feeling of shitting and not cleaning my ass. A bidet would be a good middle ground for when my schedule doesn’t line up...
 
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TrainedRage

Banned
With Toilet Paper you get right in there and get the job done, you can put on your pants and boxers without having to worry.

With a Bidet you squirt water up your ass and now it's soak and wet, and the pieces it doesn't get become liquified so now when you put your pants and underwear on it feels moist, and when you check later you have nice wet poo stains all over your trousers.

If you had toilet paper and a Bidet combined that could be the ultimate cleaning tool but a Bidet by itself? How is that better than nice sturdy 1-ply or 2-ply toilet paper? You are just getting all moist, wet, and stinky for no reason, I don't want poo stains absorbed into my boxers.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what a Bidet actually does but as far as I know it just squirts water up there and that's that, nothing to dry it with, and nothing to double check if the job was done correctly.

When I fly to Europe or certain countries in Asia I always pack a 12-roll package of toilet paper unless the hotel mentions it in the amenities, and yes, some hotels internationally do know that Americans want a superior clean, and do mention on their websites if the hotel has toilet paper.

For those that defend the Bidet can you please explain how just a few squirts up the bum and your done is a better clean than actually taking a cloth and cleaning your rump?
When you wash your hands do you just wipe them with a dry towel? No? Then why the hell would you do that with your poopy butt?
 

petran79

Banned
No but we also don't eat from our asses. I assume you don't either.


NxA6yZ2.jpg
 

Stouffers

Banned
I want to hire a human-bidet. Just a dude to hang out in my bathroom and spit water through his diastema at my shit-caked balloon knot.
 

Mahadev

Member
I can't understand how you toilet paper users live with yourselves having shit still on your ass given that tp never fully cleans your ass. Seriously though, a decent bidet or just unscrewing the shower head and using your finger on the shower hose to create a powerful spray while sitting on the toilet does way much better job than tp ever could. I do that and then also wash just my ass with shower gel although it's not necessary.

Please try the shower hose trick if you don't have a bidet, I've been using it since I was a kid and find it absolutely disgusting using tp now.
 

Skyr

Member
I don’t have a bidet but when I shit at home I wipe and then high pressure wash my ass in the bathtub until it’s squeaky clean. It’s the only way to go you filthy animals.
 

Mistake

Member
Years of wiping have taken a toll on my ass, along with a case of food poisoning. If I lived in a country that had bidets, maybe I’d still be as tight as an alter boy, but now I have to do kegels. Definitely installing some soon though. You don’t think about these things until it’s too late op
 
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Also speaking of flushable wipes don't ever flush them....unless you want a massive plumbing bill for repairs and cleaning out your sewer lines. I still can't believe there has not been a law suit regarding these yet.
 
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Rockondevil

Member
My brief visit to Japan convinced me instantly. Its just cleaner.

I've not been to Japan but I have been to a lot of Europe and from what I understand they are vastly different. One uses technology and precision and the other is a caveman bowl of water.


LOMP9QM.jpg


g4rRnbk.jpg


FWIW I am a toilet paper man through and through. I do NOT eat with my ass so I don't care to clean it to the standard of my hands. Amazingly your body gets dirty throughout the day, that is why you shower at night you animals.
 
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haxan7

Banned
Wipe with dry toilet paper until you're clean.

Lightly wet your toilet paper and wipe again.

That's why.
 

Gargus

Banned
Also speaking of flushable wipes don't ever flush them....unless you want a massive plumbing bill for repairs and cleaning out your sewer lines. I still can't believe there has not been a law suit regarding these yet.

You can flush them just fine. My wife has been using them for the 10 years I've known. The trick is she isn't a fucking moron and knows if she uses more than a few she flushes instead of filling the god damn bowl with them then flushing. Or she uses toilet paper first and finishes with the wipe.

Sometimes when I wipe, my finger goes through the paper and up my asshole.

NKF8DYW.jpg
 

Blade2.0

Member
I've not been to Japan but I have been to a lot of Europe and from what I understand they are vastly different. One uses technology and precision and the other is a caveman bowl of water.


LOMP9QM.jpg


g4rRnbk.jpg


FWIW I am a toilet paper man through and through. I do NOT eat with my ass so I don't care to clean it to the standard of my hands. Amazingly your body gets dirty throughout the day, that is why you shower at night you animals.
Homeboy walking around with shit stains all day calling the rest of us animals. Will wonders never cease?
 

TindalosPup

Member
Bidets are basically just power washers for your bum

I wouldn't advise anyone use a power washer as a bidet, but I wonder if the crew behind Jackass ever had the idea
 

MrTroubleMaker

Gold Member
There was a commercial a few years ago .... Had a man go into a shower and just rub his body with toilet paper to clean himself instead of actual washing himself .. it was a bidet commercial, but so true.
 
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Rockondevil

Member
Homeboy walking around with shit stains all day calling the rest of us animals. Will wonders never cease?

I can only assume you've never used toilet paper or any sort of paper towel to wipe anything for that matter.
If I'm wiping a mess off my kitchen counter top I don't just leave half the mess there and walk away, you wipe until there is nothing left to wipe.

But I get it, bidet users are obviously dense.
 

GAMETA

Banned
You know what would be great? If they made toilet paper that could absorb water and not tear when wiping.

That would solve everything.
 
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haxan7

Banned
I can only assume you've never used toilet paper or any sort of paper towel to wipe anything for that matter.
If I'm wiping a mess off my kitchen counter top I don't just leave half the mess there and walk away, you wipe until there is nothing left to wipe.

But I get it, bidet users are obviously dense.
Yep, too dense to wipe all the poop from their buttholes.

Wait, that’s people who think dry toilet paper removes all the visible poop. Whoops! Sorry for the typo
 
S

SLoWMoTIoN

Unconfirmed Member
I don’t have a bidet but when I shit at home I wipe and then high pressure wash my ass in the bathtub until it’s squeaky clean. It’s the only way to go you filthy animals.
Clean yourself
Put some soap in TP
Wipe
???
Profit
 

Blade2.0

Member
I can only assume you've never used toilet paper or any sort of paper towel to wipe anything for that matter.
If I'm wiping a mess off my kitchen counter top I don't just leave half the mess there and walk away, you wipe until there is nothing left to wipe.

But I get it, bidet users are obviously dense.
Wiping stuff with a wet cloth/ water makes it easier to clean.
 
Damn, you Muricans have no culture. Lemme teach you.
Bidet is not for dudes. It's not meant for you to wash your ass after taking a dump.
Bidet is intended for women. It's to wash their vag while they're on their period.
It was never meant to be a washing device for your ass. I really thought this was common knowledge.
 
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