Official Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep (PSP) Import thread of Convoluted Nonsense

This is a game. A game about this guy:

Who looks like this guy:

Who used to eat icecream with these guys:

Who tried to kill this guy:

Who was actually this guy:

But he's not this guy:

Who hangs with a crew that looked like these guys:

Until they realized Batman was two years ago, and now him and his buddies look like these guys:

And there's some Disney or something in it too:

But mostly everyone will either look sad like this:

Or ridiculous like this:

And by the end of KH25 there will be eight million characters that all look like this:

and the story still won't make a lick of sense
...unless you read the 500 page plot analysis at gamefaqs
......and rewatch all the cutscenes
............and replay the games
.................and then you realize it's still nonsense and you're an old man/woman now whose wasted their life searching for the meaning of kingdom hearts.

which is a giant
door the sky

that grants wishes
or blows up the world
or something
I dunno

But the game is coming out in Japan this weekend (saturday Jan 9th). Games never come out on a weekend in Japan. Why is this coming out on a weekend. It makes no sense. Just like the game. And it's coming out in the US and Europe...someday. No one seems to be in a rush to bring it out in the English speaking countries. Probably because the translators are struggling to translate the plot in a way that it makes sense, but no matter what they do it never does. So at some point they will just give up and type random phrases in and that is when the game will come out.

This is all because this guy:

& this guy:

had a story to tell

Just like when they wanted to tell this story:

And we see how well that went



Worships the porcelain goddess
I watched the 7 minute trailer on GameTrailers and I had no fucking clue what I watched. Other than it looked great. Which is the same exact reaction I had when I played the first KH.

In short, who the fuck are these people? Why are there, like, four different Sora dudes...forget it. It looks great and I hope it'll be fun to play.

Seriously, what the fuck is going on in the story of these games?
Great OP that encapsulates why I am glad I never played any of the KH sequels and will continue that trend going forward.

<=== And clearly, I like convoluted Japanesy things. But no... just no.
Synthesizer Patel said:
The OP was very informative, could you please use more screenshots to explain who Ansem is, that would be helpful thank you
There's like three Ansems if I recall. Which one are you talking about? :lol

Also, the OP is awesome. :lol
I am going to be shamefully spoiling myself on whatever shit plot this game wretches out months ahead of whenever the english release rolls around simply so I can get my disgust and disbelieveing "what the fuck is this shit"s out of my system so I can just enjoy the gameplay :lol

What happens to Terra is kinda obvious but man, this Ven/Sora/Roxas shit is going to make me suffer a mini-stroke :lol


Worships the porcelain goddess
I predict a big WTF trailer at the end of this game that leads into KH3 Final Mega Mix. It'll have keyblades that shoot lightning covered keyblade shurikens wielded by a hooded Sora, Sora Jr. and Sora-Zero battling Shadow Mickey-Nobody. :D

We will probably drool.
Haha - great post!! My son (12) has played all of the KH games and loves them but whenever I watch Im always confused :) He used his holiday cash and gift cards to buy a PSP just so he can play this when it comes out.
Kintaro said:
I predict a big WTF trailer at the end of this game that leads into KH3 Final Mega Mix. It'll have keyblades that shoot lightning covered keyblade shurikens wielded by a hooded Sora, Sora Jr. and Sora-Zero battling Shadow Mickey-Nobody. :D
:lol...why do I get the feeling that they just might do that?
It only grants wishes for people who are real people, not people who are not actually people, or people who might have been people at some point but are just the left over bits of people that are left over from the other left over bits of people that were people who thought they were someone else.
HUELEN10 said:
Bebpo, you need a tag for this. Absolutely superb job at whatever it is you just did. :lol
Bebpo already has one and he is living up to it. This is his comeback.

I'll probably have this by Friday. Ncsx said they will ship Thursday so if the snow storm doesn't mess things up, I'll be playing Friday.
God, I wish Disney was never part of the deal so that I didn't have to bother with this. But I will buy it, and the original post will persist, mocking me.
I smiled there :) This was certainly an original import thread. I've nevr played a kingdom hearts game so there is no chance I'll import. I am curious wether the game is good or not though.
BlazingDarkness said:
i don't recognise you any more! :lol
You're not alone. Maybe he should change back his avatar?
Crewnh said:
Awesome OP. :lol

I don't think it's that convoluted, but that's just me being a fanboy
Word. Everything is there on the cutscenes, but hey :lol I'm still not sure whether to import or not...
okay I'll do it

Ansem is this guy

Who looks like this guy

(And in KHII is this guy)

But is actually the Heartless of this guy

Whose Nobody's this guy

So at this point, he's this guy

REALLY Ansem's this guy

Who's disguised as this guy

hope that clears things up