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[Palculator]

Useless remake because how the fuck can a movie from the damn 90s be considered "too old" to be watched in 2012. It's full colour and HD, and the colours look even better than a modern movie because it was still shot on film. 3D is a useless gimmick so it not having that is a good thing. I could understand remaking silent films, maybe even black and white films although that one starts going into stupidity territory, when technology that maybe held back the story evolved shortly after, but this isn't the case from 90s to 2012 because the practical effects in the original are better than shitty CGI. Unless you're a sick badass like John Carpenter, don't try to one up already good films.

 

[Sojgat]

No.

 

[Rudimental]

No.

Although, I have heard that the novelisation of the 1990 version gives an interesting alternate take on the story.

Spoiler

Hauser is the one who plots to erase his own memories and become Quaid in order to hide his knowledge of the alien device from Cohaagen and deliver it to Kuato, since he really has had a change of heart.

 

[norm9]

Unless you're a sick badass like John Carpenter, don't try to one up already good films.

The most recent Thing remake was kinda good. It was no Carpenter Thing, but it was alright.

 

[Sanctuary]

So much wrong in the OP. While I did find some things that I felt were superior to the original, it mostly had to do with the production values and what could be done now compared to when the original was made, although much of the effects in the remake were so obvious (bad). When the original came out, it was rather top notch in the effects department.

Regardless, the action was most definitely NOT better in the sequel. It was almost like watching a videogame, similarly to the last two Snyder Superman films. Just yuck. I do think that the remake had mostly better acting, but it's actually kind of a wash in that department.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTGP3s6rfCU

 

[MrKaepora]

Where's that lady with the bell when you need it.

I hope this was a troll thread and we are all being trolled because no one can be this wrong like OP.

 

[SnowTeeth]

Oh jesus lord NO

 

[Strax]

Nowadays we have a generation of people who think CGI effects actually make a movie better. They enjoy generic movies with throwaway stories as long as there's semi-cool shit happening and it's CGI. The more the better.

As someone who has only 3 movies made after 1990 in his top 10 I object to this

 

[moggio]

It's like saying the TV movie version of The Shining is better than the Kubrick version.

Some people just don't like art, I guess.

 

[Transistor]

Well at least I know never to trust Strax for movie opinions

 

[SargerusBR]

OP...

 

[lordxar]

OG Total Recall is fucking classic. Yea it's over the top, it's goofy, it's weird but it's a classic. I will agree that the newer version is probably a better movie in a technical sense. It's a bit more grounded and I remember liking it just because it did it's own thing. Now....I barely remember it though. I saw the original back in the theater when it first came out and it's stuck with me. Like I can almost remember every sequence to the point of rarely watching it because I feel like I've watched it too much but then I get an itch and toss it on one day because I haven't watched it enough. Other movies I have this problem with are the Running Man, Predator, Alien, Aliens, and the Thing so OG TR is in good company!

 

[Thug Waffle]

op this is worse than that thread asking why people charge their phones

 

[Kallor]

For a second my brain was thinking Point Break remake for some reason. OP was even wronger.

 

[Fantastapotamus]

I am in Iceland right now cause I anticipated this thread. I will now find and fight you. Be prepared.

 

[SnowTeeth]

op this is worse than that thread asking why people charge their phones

what

 

[Camwi]

What a fucking awful thread. OG Total Recall is fucking fantastic, to this day.

what

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1259754

 

[Hissing Sid]

I was never a huge fan of the original but at least I can recall (fnar!), most of the film. Plenty of memorable quotes. Plus Michael Ironside. Always a plus.

Can't really remember much about the remake even though I watched it quite recently. I have vague recollections of a piano and an assassin that ran around chasing people over roof-tops with her hair down. Obviously some dystopian futures lack hair bobbles. Those bouncy tresses! Thought I was watching a shampoo advert.

No such follicle tomfoolery with Mr Ironside! No sir. Mr Ironside was obviously well aware of the importance of keeping your hair out of your eyes when shooting at people.

 

[Lego Boss]

I was never a huge fan of the original but at least I can recall (fnar!), most of the film. Plenty of memorable quotes. Plus Michael Ironside. Always a plus.

Can't really remember much about the remake even though I watched it quite recently. I have vague recollections of a piano and an assassin that ran around chasing people over roof-tops with her hair down. Obviously some dystopian futures lack hair bobbles. Those bouncy tresses! Thought I was watching a shampoo advert.

No such follicle tomfoolery with Mr Ironside! No sir. Mr Ironside was obviously well aware of the importance of keeping your hair out of your eyes when shooting at people.

Can you fly Bobby?

I remember Viz (satirical magazine in the UK) doing a spoof advert and saying that the line-up had 'That guy from RoboCop who looks like Jack Nicholson, but is loads cheaper'

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you MICHAEL FUCKING IRONSIDE!!!

 

[JimJamJones]

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

NOOOOOOOOO

 

[Shanlei91]

Can you fly Bobby?

I remember Viz (satirical magazine in the UK) doing a spoof advert and saying that the line-up had 'That guy from RoboCop who looks like Jack Nicholson, but is loads cheaper'

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you MICHAEL FUCKING IRONSIDE!!!

Michael Ironside wasn't in Robocop.

 

[Lego Boss]

Michael Ironside wasn't in Robocop.

OOOPS.

Who was Clarence Boddicker? That's who I mean.

 

[Mr. Giggles]

Its ok to have wrong opinions OP.

Its your opinion, but know that its wrong.

Just like the people savages who put pineapple on their pizza

 

[PuppetSlave]

I can barely remember the remake. I remember him carving up his arm for the phone or something. It wasn't horrible in any way but it sure is an forgettable movie.

 

[Shanlei91]

OOOPS.

Who was Clarence Boddicker? That's who I mean.

Kurtwood Smith, otherwise known as the dad from That 70's show. Which was always in the back of my head while watching that show.

 

[Camwi]

Its ok to have wrong opinions OP.

Its your opinion, but know that its wrong.

Just like the people savages who put pineapple on their pizza

Or the monsters who drink milk from a bag.

 

[Staf]

I've read some crazy shit on GAF but this is a new low (high?).

 

[Sapiens]

Guys, the original Robocop/total recall/Ghostbusters weren't that good anyway.

Guys. C'mon. Guys?

Seriously, Sony can go fuck themselves with their shitty special effects and ill conceived remakes.

 

[Foggy]

Your grandchildren will feel shame for this

 

[Dee Dah Dave]

Nah. The original isn't great but still better.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

Get the fuck outta here with that shit about the original film having poor fx and productions. It held the title as the mod expensive film made for a year until Carolco found someone capable of even crazier budgets with James Cameron. It relied on practical effects that still look good today. Rob Bottin did an amazing job with effects including the Malfunctioning head, the nose bug, Cohagen's expansion, Kuato and the squibs, the most glorious juicy bullet squibs imaginable.

 

[stump sock]

I've seen some bad Strax threads, but this one might be the one that gets a junioring

 

[LiquidMetal14]

Kids these days!

 

[3rdman]

Since people jumped on my comment in the Ghostbusters thread I wanted to explain the comment.

The new version has much better action then the old version, straight up and of course it's not funny because it doesn't try to be funny. Good looking sets, art and design - the lens flares tho. Fuck lens flares. Rest is ok. There was no need for this movie but let's not kid ourselves, the action in the 1990 version was on Three Stooges level at points, had terrible acting and the production design is lacking. I'm not saying the remake is a good movie I'm just saying it's better then the OG version. Think about it for a sec, when you break it down all it does well is the weirdness. Every time people write or talk about the movie it's always about the strange stuff or the concept. I've never heard people talk about the acting, editing or the cinematography, it's always just the 3 breasts, Quato and the drop of sweat. Arnold is goofy as hell and if you gave any decent actor this much leeway in his performance he could perform on the same level as Arnold with ease. Not that Colin Farrell was amazing in the remake but at no point in his career could Arnold give that performance


Paul Verhoeven is really good at themes and story but his movies age horribly.



Ok, not all his movies age horribly.

I just wanted to jump in and say that you are a horrible person.

 

[old manatee]

As far as I can tell the whole point of the Total Recall and RoboCop remakes was to make pg13 versions of r rated films.

 

[LiquidMetal14]

I've seen some bad Strax threads, but this one might be the one that gets a junioring

I am seriously offended. It's my day off I didn't ask for this chicanery!

 

[Mr. Giggles]

Or the monsters who drink milk from a bag.

LMAO.

Proud to be a monster

 

[Count of Monte Sawed-Off]

Total Recall has one of my favorite Blu-ray commentaries ever. Schwarzenegger and Verhoeven trading production stories back and forth is a joy to listen to.

I love how Arnold just kind of narrates what's happening on screen, "Here I am pretending to be a fat woman."

 

[Llyranor]

Isn't the OG commentary pretty funny? I've never listened to it.

Edit: well, that answers it

 

[-shadow-]

Kurtwood Smith, otherwise known as the dad from That 70's show. Which was always in the back of my head while watching that show.

I had watched the show before I ever saw Robocop. My first reaction after the film was: "That explains a hell of a lot about That 70's Show."

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Hey OP'

SCREW YOU!

 

[Senoculum]

The Total Recall remake is the example I point to for the most useless SLO-MO ever applied. It's a straight up catastrophic movie with no heart, a dumb, passive protagonist, predictability-levels up the wazoo, and the action just plain sucks because you don't care about anything. SLOOOO-MOOO, DeEP BaSS, NARROW ESCAPE. Yuck.

It's so toned down from the original; stripped of any originality; and it's straight up cartoon like. I will never watch that movie again.

 

[zoukka]

I love how Arnold just kind of narrates what's happening on screen, "Here I am pretending to be a fat woman."

So just as good as the conan commentaries "here I chop his head off yaaa"

 

[Dubbedinenglish]

Fight me OP, this instant.

 

[Foggy]

Paul Verhoeven is really good at themes and story but his movies age horribly.

 

[afternoon delight]

Like I can understand OP even though I don't agree with him. Nowadays we have a generation of people who think CGI effects actually make a movie better. They enjoy generic movies with throwaway stories as long as there's semi-cool shit happening and it's CGI. The more the better.

I guess I am the same in a way, that I enjoy practical effects and certain cliches/styles in my action movies. To these people, practical effects look bad and unrealistic and they can't take Arnolds characters seriously.

I absolutely detest modern action cinema and the biggest offenders in my eyes are the modern superhero movies.

That's as good a eulogy for certain film standards as any I suppose.

 

[Zepp Twofist]

Its ok to have wrong opinions OP.

Its your opinion, but know that its wrong.

Just like the people savages who put pineapple on their pizza

I take part in the occasional pineapple on my pizza and I will not stand here idle while you compare me to the travesty that is op.

 

[Spiral Insanity]

No way...I still vividly remember scenes, characters,quotes and sets from the original, and I last saw it over 20 years ago.

Besides Colin Farrel I do not recall anything from the remake.

 

[IlGialloMondadori]

My God, no. Verhoeven is a genius, and I feel sorry for anyone that can't see it. RoboCop and Total Recall are God tier films. Gritty, funny, beautiful design work and effects, amazing scores, and their scripts and execution are an amazing combination of silly on the surface / smart underneath.
Plus, Arnold in his prime >>>>>>> Colin Farell.