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Where my incels at?
- Thread starter bbmcgee
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The Cockatrice
Member
I dont have time. There have been too many games this year and that along with job and other life issues, women are at the bottom of my priority list. Just have a wank mate and stop thinking about it.
I get this, but how old are you? At some point if you 'have a wank and stop thinking about it' you're 50 and alone. Thats not a life most people want.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
There are potential partners everywhere. If you aren't catching any fish, try a different spot, use a different tool, and make the bait more enticing.
Ownage
Member
Matthew Perry sends his regards.
No there arent, my entire country is in a bad situation where women are increasingly not interested unless you're particularly attractive in ways I am not and will never be. Record numbers of men are single.
I feel like part of the problem is people not really seeing or admitting the problem.
Ownage
Member
Stay active with friends. Do stuff. Don't sit at home alone for days and days. Feeling alone is the worst feeling in the world and a fast way to major depression or worse.
The Cockatrice
Member
People have different desires and needs in life. Not everyone follows the auto-human programming that marriage and children is a mandatory aspect. I certainly dont. Would I love a woman if she accepted all my shenanigan's? I prolly would but at the same time I might not. Until that day comes, I'd rather not stress my life dealing with another humans issues when I already have mine to handle and in my limited spare time I'd rather enjoy escaping reality and playing games instead of spending time with someone. Im 35.
Not in 2023 when women have so many options.
Yes I enjoy my friends, but it doesnt really solve the problem. Friends dont fulfill the same needs a spouse and children would.
Again, I feel like these are all attempts to avoid the problem. A group of bros dont solve chronic singledom.
TheDreadBaron
Member
Are you interested in women that aren’t particularly attractive in a conventional way? You could try broadening your standards, just like you would like women to do for you.
I feel like this is what society is pitching to men like me, but its not a good thing. 'Hey its ok if you're completely alone just consume shit and distract yoursefl!!'.
Its not a path to the life most people want.
If it works for you, congratulations. I LOVE video games as well but its absolutely not a replacement for a real life.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Yes there are. There are tons of women alone and at home wondering why men don't find them attractive enough. Find them.
I would give anyone a chance if anyone's ever interested. I wouldnt marry just anyone but I'd at least give them a chance, but I never even get that far.
All that woman would have to do is try online dating. So, I call total bullshit. The women who feel that way just try online dating and bam problem solved.
the women who refuse to do online dating, clearly arent truly that desperate.
The Cockatrice
Member
I hope you find someone who appreciates you then, but dating isnt where you'll find her. I know for a fact that most successful relationships were when none of them expected it. You'll meet someone at a bar, at work, grocery shopping, on the street, but app dating? good luck, it's a cesspool of degenerates.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Your online-centric view of the world is altering your perception of reality. Unplug, and your eyes will open to the others who aren't saddled with that same burden.
FunkMiller
Member
There is somebody for everybody.
The problem is some people set standards that are either too high or too specific.
Be a bit less picky, and a little more open minded, and your chances improve greatly.
The problem is some people set standards that are either too high or too specific.
Be a bit less picky, and a little more open minded, and your chances improve greatly.
Trunx81
Member
There are more women on the planet then men. You are the one with so many options. Even Hitler got a girlfriend.
'I agree with this in theory, but 'wait until random luck happens' isnt an active strategy. A I said before a lot of men who do that are going to wake up at 50 alone. Or, have no choice but to just take the first woman who finally gives them the time of day even if its not a good fit.
For what its worth, if not for the apps I would still be a virgin easily. I've never found any interest any other way
This doesnt matter, because Im not traveling the world. Where I live, the dynamics are such that record numbers of men are struggling to date.
I mean you're telling this to someone who has never rejected anyone before. So, this doesnt apply to me, although I agree it applies to some people.
And there isnt somebody for everybody, that's a disney movie myth.
The Cockatrice
Member
Forcing things is the same principle of the guy that just accepted the first woman that kinda accepted him even if he doesnt really enjoy her presence fully. There's no secret technique to finding the right person. Theres also the option of accepting someone you may not fit and with time that person and yourself may get closer to one another, and eventually start to truly love each other. Life has no easy mode. Its a risk either way.
?? This isnt an online centric world view.
I'm just saying if nothing else, a woman can do online dating and very easily start meeting men. So, I dont believe there's group of lonely women desperate to meet guys when, if that was the case, the solution is right there for them.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
The fact that you think this strategy is "wait until random luck happens" is a clue to your issue here. That's not what it is. You are an active participant in this reality with your own agency and independence. YOU can strike up conversations with other people. YOU can volunteer at community service events and find other people to socialize with. YOU can take workshops or classes in various arts or educational topics to both improve your own skills and meet other like-minded individuals. YOU can be the one to initiate social interactions with others and have a portion of those interactions be reciprocated in a positive manner.
None of this is random luck, and all of this is you taking more initiative. The only "luck" involved is how big or small of a percentage those interactions result in something positive, but at the rate you are going, even 100% of zero is still zero.
How old are you and how do you cope? This is probably my future as well and its.........not exactly a life affirming thoughtI gave up, yes. I'm too shy, too poor and too ugly for that shit. And now i'm also too old.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Yes it is because you think all women are doing that. They're not. You think you're the only one disgusted by online dating? Your opinion is not that unique.
General socializing doesn't lead to anything for me/ many others. If the idea is ' just go out and socialize and wait for magic to happen at random', then it is random luck.
the point is you arent directly going for dates or speaking to people with intent. And, for some of us, that leads nowhere.
As I mentioned, I would 100% still be a virgin if that was my strategy
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
There are tons of shy, poor, ugly, old women who are single. Go find one of them.
TheDreadBaron
Member
I’m just saying if nothing else, a man can do online dating and very easily start meeting women. So, I don’t believe there’s a group of lonely men desperate to meet girls when, if that was the case, the solution is right there for them.
It’s not different, and you being so sure that you’re uniquely disadvantaged is what’s holding you back my dude.
I dont think all women are doing that. I think many women do not have to.
But if a woman was desperate and really wanted to meet someone, she can easily solve the problem by going online. If she refused, then she clearly isnt actually that desperate.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Right here, I can't even pay an export to go out with me they say I give them a bad vibe. Sucks to be me man
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The Cockatrice
Member
I gave up, yes. I'm too shy, too poor and too ugly for that shit. And now i'm also too old.
Being ugly and poor are not whats stopping women from dating you. Forget what you see online in videos from dumb american bimbos. More than half of couples you see on the street will always be guys with huge bellies, average looks and this good looking well kept woman and not all of them are rich. The rich percentage of men stats are like 2% or something, the world would be fucking dead if women only dated these guys. As long as you have a stable job and are somewhat independent you can find someone, even at the age of 50+.
Increasingly those women prefer to stay single if they arent exactly enthralled with their options.
TheDreadBaron
Member
Goto bed yourf drubk
Men cant just easily do online dating, because so much of the attention online only goes to the top guys. Whereas, the most mediocre women will stiill have 100 likes in a day.
Guilty_AI
Member
I didn't give up nor i'm against entering a relationship, but i've never enjoyed dating too much. Most dates i went to felt less like a fun time and more like a chore, even if the ones i was with weren't necessarely bad dates.
By extension i feel my chances are quite slim as i don't really go out of my way to meet people.
By extension i feel my chances are quite slim as i don't really go out of my way to meet people.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
What is your idea of "general socializing"?
In the month of October, how many people did you strike up a conversation with at a bar, or other social gathering?
In the month of October, how many study groups did you organize? (if you're in school)
In the month of October, how many clubs did you participate in? (if you're in school)
In the month of October, how many workshops did you participate in?
In the month of October, how many volunteer opportunities did you participate in?
In the month of October, how many community service events did you participate in?
In the month of October, how many free public workout/exercise events did you participate in?
In the month of October, how many people did you attempt to strike up a conversation with in public?
In the month of October, how many people did you do random acts of kindness to?
In the month of October, how many people did you give compliments to?
nkarafo
Member
Weird example. As if it should be hard for the most powerful person in Europe to get a woman?
41. I have just accepted it. Some of my friends suggest me to do things i don't agree with just to find a girlfriend. Wear clothes i don't like, behave in ways i don't agree with and things like that.
It's too tiresome and i don't want to become someone i'm not just for some girl to find me more attractive. Who cares, i'll just be alone and maybe pay for sex once in a while. I don't like the idea of being married and having kids anyway.
Don't know what to tell you. Maybe my personality sucks. Though i'm shy and don't talk too much so i don't know how they can tell that.
Trunx81
Member
Well, you made the most powerful N64 thread on Gaf, so that counts for something.
You guys KNOW that women are struggling too, right? I got a good friend, she´s 35 now and yes, she´s dating, but can´t keep a guy for longer than 3 months. No chance to have kids or a family.
TheDreadBaron
Member
You’re just repeating incel self pity talking points. Don’t you think a lot of male attention also goes to the top women? Attractive women receive so many disgusting and alarming messages, it’s not exactly a blessing to be popular with men online. I think some kind of freaky Friday spend a day in a woman’s shoes type situation is in order.
This is true. I know a female friend who is in her mid 30s and laments about never finding a boyfriend. She uses similar language to the OP and hates online dating. They’re out there.
OP, another avenue you could try is a professional matchmaker service. There’s some really good ones that would match you with women who are looking for a serious relationship/marriage and within a similar age range or similar life goals and hobbies. Being a younger man with a solid job would make you very eligible.
The Cockatrice
Member
Nah, you're not. You probably just mentally set this up as an excuse. Do you have a job? Do you talk to coworkers? Then you aint shy. Maybe awkward when dealing with someone you fancy but that is something everyone goes through. I am not a guru or anything but from my personal experience, women need to be treated both good and bad, if you're too much of a dick, its bad and if you're too nice it's also bad. You can casually hit on someone and then just be more passive. Women automatically hate it when someone gives them attention and then just kinda moves on, they'll be curious, they'll want to know why, and eventually start to like you a bit. Gotta keep that flow going. At least that seems to al;ways work with me as I'm always caught in a work drama, I start being nice and then I just crawl back into my normal gaming shell and the women get annoyed and I aint a good looking guy, just look at that gypsy ass mug in my profile. Charisma > looks, money, etc.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
I don't get the "incel" thing, in most cases it seems it can be overcome with some effort in a certain area.
Now if you just mean you don't want to be in a relationship, then I get it, I don't really like that myself, but I still go out and smash; even if there's a bit of a dry spell I'd just visit a hooker, so I don't get how you could truly be celibate "involuntarily".
Now if you just mean you don't want to be in a relationship, then I get it, I don't really like that myself, but I still go out and smash; even if there's a bit of a dry spell I'd just visit a hooker, so I don't get how you could truly be celibate "involuntarily".
How old are you? Do you think this will ever change for you?
Well at this point I've given up, I hang out with my friends and do other hobbies but I dont go out of my way to talk to random people because it never amounted to anything in over 10 years of doing that.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
What year did you give up?
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