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Are single women over 30 screwed in dating?
- Thread starter Miles Quaritch
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outunderthestars
Banned
I started dating my fiancee when she 32. She didn't seem to have any trouble attracting guys.
Also, reading some of the comments in this thread makes me really sad.
Also, reading some of the comments in this thread makes me really sad.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Wait until you become a DILF, it's the promised land and then some.
KonradLaw
Member
The result of online dating becoming popular.
Yautja_Warrior
Member
Guess it depends how much older than 30 really. I find some people can be way too picky when it comes to dating though, and then wonder why they can't find anyone.
Same for women who go for "bad boys" who treat them like crap, but then they wonder why they get treated badly and keep getting hurt and are also too picky to go out with a nice guy.
One my GF's friends is always going out with idiots but then keeps moaning she gets cheated on or treated bad, yet we know a really decent guy who likes her (not ugly or anything either) and would be a pretty good match for her, yet she's not interested, and she carries on moaning about finding someone who would treat her right, guess there is no helping some people when it comes to dating.
Same for women who go for "bad boys" who treat them like crap, but then they wonder why they get treated badly and keep getting hurt and are also too picky to go out with a nice guy.
One my GF's friends is always going out with idiots but then keeps moaning she gets cheated on or treated bad, yet we know a really decent guy who likes her (not ugly or anything either) and would be a pretty good match for her, yet she's not interested, and she carries on moaning about finding someone who would treat her right, guess there is no helping some people when it comes to dating.
Nice stealth brag "I've got a Japanese hot pocket wife and you don't" reply, man.
stealth brag, or blatant brag?
congrats on the hot wife man
It's an assumption that she wants kids at all, but obviously if she says she wants kids it's likely she'll need to start thinking about that before she gets to her late 30s
I do wonder, mix this with entitlement, which is understandable but slightly naive and you have a recipe for a swathe of people feeling undercut by the game.
For me kids are a compromise. The best part about them is dressing them up for cons, but that can't last forever. If I was with someone and they wanted that I'd be okay, but it's not really something that drives me.
Well to be fair to her a good match on paper means nothing, which is why im slightly baffled why a common theme is "Must be x, y, z", most of the relationships I have known that lasted the people in them do not seem to have that much in common, its slightly strange to be honest, they enjoy each others company and the dynamic but if you put a checklist of the things either was into neither would match up particularly favourably.
Searching for love
In all the wrong places
doot doot
Violence Jack
Member
Not at all. I met my fiance' when I was 32 and she had just turned 30. In fact, I preferred women over the age of 25 when I hit my 30s.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
This thread makes me feel better about being 23 and desperately single.
I don't think so. I don't know the numbers, but I'd imagine that a much higher than in the past percentage of college educated people don't have their first child until they're in their 30s now (and seemingly always have a second almost immediately after). If you get into a serious relationship at that age, chances are pretty good you'll be engaged within 1-2 years since everyone involved knows the timeline at that point.
SillyEskimo
Member
Nice stealth brag "I've got a Japanese hot pocket wife and you don't" reply, man.
Haha, yeah.
It was more of a comment on whatever a woman brings to the table determines how successful she is at dating. Same for men too, obviously. If a woman stands out among the crowd, she doesn't have a thing to worry about.
Kinda true. I don't blame women for hypergamy, if you;'re career is gonna take a hit when you have kids you might want someone who can pick up the slack. However, when you mention that it's a thing, you're called a sexist or butthurt.
I'm around your age but for me, I look for someone born between 1990 - 95.
Easier to control..I kid.
I hear that.
I gave up by the time I was 17 lol. Now it's just about trying to find a guy friend, but men don't want to be friends, so...that's out the window too basically.
Bottom line, I will never have any kind of relationship, friendship or otherwise, with a man IRL. 29 this year, never have, never will.
There you go!
From what I've always heard, cons can be crazy sex-fueled romps. I went to some years ago but was either in a relationship already or was traveling with a group and already had a crush on someone else who was in it and had blinders on to everything else (back in college). Those late night dance parties or whatever they usually have seem to be the ticket. Good luck, friend!
A lot of this depends on where you are located, because i think this is strongly with correlated with gender equality as well as level of education. I live in Sweden, and I wouldnt be suprised at all if this was the case here statistically. Where are you located Miles?
I don't think they're "screwed" in dating, but I have to imagine it's harder for them to find long-term partners. There's more pressure (biological and societal) to settle down, which rules out the guys who aren't at that stage in life. Generally, men don't lust after older women - this seems to apply even more to successful men whose options are plentiful.
In my experience, single & attractive women in their 30s have all had the same issues:
-Shitty personality
-Too high standards (constant talk of "not settling")
Usually a combo of both. They think that because they're pretty, no kids, no divorce, have a job, etc that guys should be thankful to even get a date. It's been no surprise to anyone who knows these friends why they've stayed single.
This isn't even talking about the single 30s women I've known who have kids, or super-religious, or a black conservative who remain single. Those are obvious
-Shitty personality
-Too high standards (constant talk of "not settling")
Usually a combo of both. They think that because they're pretty, no kids, no divorce, have a job, etc that guys should be thankful to even get a date. It's been no surprise to anyone who knows these friends why they've stayed single.
This isn't even talking about the single 30s women I've known who have kids, or super-religious, or a black conservative who remain single. Those are obvious
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Salt, salt, salt M'Lady.
spawnsniper
Member
I think it goes both ways , older women go for the younger ones as well.
I hooked up with a single mother when she was 32 and I was 22. Lol.
But I think eventually they find happiness 2-3 years apart.
I hooked up with a single mother when she was 32 and I was 22. Lol.
But I think eventually they find happiness 2-3 years apart.
I don't know if I would say they're screwed, but I've seen enough anecdotal evidence to suggest that they have a tougher row to hoe at that point. In the last serious relationship I had before I got together with my wife, I was ending things after three years right after we both hit 30. I honestly felt terrible about it -- moreso than with other breakups -- largely in part because I knew how badly she wanted children and I knew that it would probably be difficult for her to find a suitable partner, get married, and have children.
But it worked out for her, so whatever.
But it worked out for her, so whatever.
Skel1ingt0n
I can't *believe* these lazy developers keep making file sizes so damn large. Btw, how does technology work?
I started dating a 28 y/o when I was 24. I'm now 27, and she's 31. Getting married at the end of the month.
She's hot. She's got a master's degree. She's a super good sport and has a great personality. I guess I found the 1%?
She's hot. She's got a master's degree. She's a super good sport and has a great personality. I guess I found the 1%?
Miles Quaritch
Member
UK. London to be exact.
I don't know if this counts. You both started to date in your twenties and that's progressed into marriage.
I was talking more about starting out single in the dating field as a thirty something. Seems much tougher for women than for men.
God Dayumm
Banned
30+ women are way pickier, so I've always assumed they have more options. Think about it, they have more money, education, some own their own houses and vehicles, so a man would need to have more than that to even be considered dateable.
Speaking as a 34 year old woman in the US
seeing some of these replies is disappointing but ring true about societal pressures and expectations for dating as a woman in her 30's.
I remember one of the most hurtful things I've heard about dating from a guy (former friend) had to be that because I was single, educated, no kids, had a job and owned a home that I've "priced" my way out of ever finding a husband because what could he provide for me and that younger women are usually dependent and easier to mold.
Personally, I don't feel like I'm screwed and like most things in life, just have to work a little harder than most. Speed dating and meetups are fun.
who is also black
I remember one of the most hurtful things I've heard about dating from a guy (former friend) had to be that because I was single, educated, no kids, had a job and owned a home that I've "priced" my way out of ever finding a husband because what could he provide for me and that younger women are usually dependent and easier to mold.
Personally, I don't feel like I'm screwed and like most things in life, just have to work a little harder than most. Speed dating and meetups are fun.
I think some women don't understand that being educated and established doesn't move men in the same way it does women. Whilst they may look to men they deem at their "level" or above and be a power couple, these men might be looking towards the girl who'd make a great trophy wife.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
"If I'm this successful, then my man must be even more successful."
Payback is a bitch!
There definitely seems to be a pitfall around 30. A friend is getting close to the number and last time we went out for dinner, she talked about weddings for over an hour. While continually saying if she and her boyfriend decide to get married and he spoke zero words the entire time.
Not speaking for myself, but some dudes actually like being depended upon - it gives them a sense of self-worth. The latter is a control thing and applies to both genders in a relationship.
I think a lot of it has to do with what the woman is looking for.
Let's assume were talking about heterosexual women who want to conceive a child and have a husband. From my experience talking to my female friends who are all 30ish, this is a real struggle.
These friends, not unreasonably, want a great guy, someone they can spend the rest of their lives with, and someone who is in a place to have kids soonish.
Eventually, some of them started to have to make compromises. Changes in their current relationship if the guy they're dating doesn't want the same thing. Not caring so much about income/career/physical attractiveness or some combination of the three. Some are even compromising on personality... Maybe that's me speaking out of turn, but a strong feminist dating a guy who rolls his eyes whenever he hears the word is not something I'd expect is ideal.
I don't know if that's any different than how guys have it though, turning 30 this year and I've been single 2 months total in the last 11 years.
Let's assume were talking about heterosexual women who want to conceive a child and have a husband. From my experience talking to my female friends who are all 30ish, this is a real struggle.
These friends, not unreasonably, want a great guy, someone they can spend the rest of their lives with, and someone who is in a place to have kids soonish.
Eventually, some of them started to have to make compromises. Changes in their current relationship if the guy they're dating doesn't want the same thing. Not caring so much about income/career/physical attractiveness or some combination of the three. Some are even compromising on personality... Maybe that's me speaking out of turn, but a strong feminist dating a guy who rolls his eyes whenever he hears the word is not something I'd expect is ideal.
I don't know if that's any different than how guys have it though, turning 30 this year and I've been single 2 months total in the last 11 years.
lmfao
I know, I've felt that mindset to be disgusting and that's why he's a former friend.
To each their own, people are entitled to want what they want but he was making a general statement about her worth as an older woman.
If someone wants to be depedant on another, or molded by them, sure, but as a general analogy "molding" people doesnt seem like a good thing to want to do, or have done to you, in a relationship.
Perhaps it can work in isolation, I just think the guy she was speaking to was a bit of a jerk.
SoRuffShoNuff
Member
Money, education, and houses are not ranked that highly on attributes men look for in a partner. It's a very telling sign when single women list money and education as a reason they deserve a higher quality mate. Men go after looks and personality first, then you start looking at stuff like number of kids before you get to money.
The thing that screws over a lot of these women is that they become pickier at the same time their options start falling.
I guess I can't complain if anything happens since my boyfriend is eight years older than me...
I had nowhere near an "over 9000 power level" when I was single. I guess that means I'm doomed if my boyfriend ever dumps me now that I'm getting older.
Maybe it'll help that I don't want children and don't care if a guy is as "successful" or as "rich" as I am.
I had nowhere near an "over 9000 power level" when I was single. I guess that means I'm doomed if my boyfriend ever dumps me now that I'm getting older.
Maybe it'll help that I don't want children and don't care if a guy is as "successful" or as "rich" as I am.
Education is actually very important to me. Stupid is the biggest turn off.
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