This thread is dangerous... I want to participate... but I feel by merely stating my opinion I'll somehow be made out to be some sort of abhorrant monster... Which bothers me greatly, as I've said in other threads I had gender identity issues when I was younger. My wife is also bi (to be clear, I'm male, she's female). I have first hand experience and I understand the arguments on both sides as well as anyone who ISN'T directly involved can be...
I'll say this... I don't think Gabe is wrong with what he said. I also don't think transgender women are wrong at being upset by it. I do think this entire thing is taken on a massive life of it's own in a way that's destructive to EVERYONE'S argument.
I've already said to much... but I think I'll go a bit further just to make sure I'm viewed as some sort of monster... This argument is akin to if Gabe someone who is african american happens to have dark skinned. It is physically an accurate description with our definition of the English language. I can see how someone could be upset with being referred to as "dark", even if it was just a passing reference... and I could see someone's point if they got upset and being called racist because they point out something that is physically accurate...
*sigh* What I'm getting at is that there is simply no real good solution... Ignoring the issue won't make it better, but neither will insulting someone over it. You don't forward your cause by making someone defensive... you just end up starting a war which entrenches both sides far deeper. The person who mailed Gabe had the right approach... calmly explaining the situation and questioning why they'd say things the way they did. Make them think and realize how people who are actually involved in their lives feel instead of resorting to name calling.