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Biggest douchebag animal?

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M

MYE

Member
Ferga said:
Cockroaches. They run around shitting everywhere.

They are fast.

They can fly at you.

They are disgusting.

You swat them, they shit a bit of guts out and live again.

You stamp on them, they shit even more guts out and live again.

You chop off their fucking heads, shit comes out AND they can still live until they starve to death.
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Superior beings

bow:
 
I

industrian

will gently cradle you as time slowly ticks away.
Ferga said:
Cockroaches. They run around shitting everywhere.

They are fast.

They can fly at you.

They are disgusting.

You swat them, they shit a bit of guts out and live again.

You stamp on them, they shit even more guts out and live again.

You chop off their fucking heads, shit comes out AND they can still live until they starve to death.
Click to expand...

I have had to get rapidly accustomed to these motherfuckers.

It wasn't until I was 24 (last April) that I saw my first cockroach (in a really classy place in London.) I didn't see my second until two weeks ago in Japan. Now I see them all the fucking time in Taipei. They're ugly, ugly insects and I don't want to get anywhere fucking near them.
 
°

°°ToMmY°°

Member
Pigeon,Feral.jpg
 
R

Rad-

Member
Mosquitos. I mean wasps, cockroaches and spiders piss me off as well but they don't fucking do anything to you if you just stand still. They're just there. But Mosquitos? They come and make you itch which wouldn't be bad if there was only one of them. But there's always 5 of them trying to eat you at the same time!
 
N

Nickiepoo

Member
Chimps get my vote. A lot of the animals here are simply 'made that way' and can be expected to act like douches constantly while as chimps have the ability to be happy and friendly one minute then flip the fuck out, rip out your eyes and bone the socket*.

*may not have ever actually happened, but I wouldn't put it past them.
 
M

markot

Banned
Holy moly Honey Badgers are so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad ass >.>

I thought it was dead after teh snake bite, but it just wakes up and keeps on eatin it....
 
O

OgTheClever

Member
Charmicarmicat said:
morrowind_large_cliffracer-1.jpg
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The very first time I played Morrowind (a few weeks ago in fact) about 2 hours in I was starting to explore and one of these beasts jumped me from above. I didn't have a clue what was going on until I was down to around half health. I eventually looked up and quite literally shouted out "holy fuck".

What proceded then was a vicious battle which unfortunately led to my death. To top it all off, I'd forgotten to save the whole time I'd played (not even any autosaves). Now, whenever I see them I'm sure to snipe them from afar, with a few sword slashes to their corpse for good measure.
 
I

industrian

will gently cradle you as time slowly ticks away.
OgTheClever said:
The very first time I played Morrowind (a few weeks ago in fact) about 2 hours in I was starting to explore and one of these beasts jumped me from above. I didn't have a clue what was going on until I was down to around half health. I eventually looked up and quite literally shouted out "holy fuck".

What proceded then was a vicious battle which unfortunately led to my death. To top it all off, I'd forgotten to save the whole time I'd played (not even any autosaves). Now, whenever I see them I'm sure to snipe them from afar, with a few sword slashes to their corpse for good measure.
Click to expand...

I remember using the boots of blinding speed and running across half the map, de-equipping the boots and then finding about fifteen of them on my ass. Easily one of the most annoying enemies in any video game.
 
W

Wellington

BAAAALLLINNN'
Byakuya769 said:
earwig, inside joke, a FUCKING RABBIT, barnacles, a FUCKING SHARK, inside joke..

if you have the inside jokes explained to you, they're not going to be funny to you.
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What kind of "Fucking" rabbit and what kind of "Fucking" shark? What makes them more of a douchebag animal than other species? Sorry I'm not up on all the inside jokes.
 
D

Dai101

Banned
Mrs. Manky said:
African Honey Badger.

Will take on any animal, regardless of size. Eats honey and bee larvae by thrusting its head into a beehive and munching away, impervious to the stings. Will attack a male lion by going for the testicles. In a recorded instance, stole a rat from a puff adder and ate it, went for the snake, passed out from the venom, then woke up and proceeded to finish eating the snake.

Also plays the vuvuzela. (Okay, I made that part up)
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wolvie-claws.gif


Picture of said animal
 
M

Mumei

Member
Wellington said:
What kind of "Fucking" rabbit and what kind of "Fucking" shark? What makes them more of a douchebag animal than other species? Sorry I'm not up on all the inside jokes.
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:lol

It's just a rabbit and just a shark. A random picture of a bunny and a random picture of a shark. What species of rabbit or shark holds absolutely no significance. And there's no inside joke.
 
A

ATF487

Member
Rad- said:
Mosquitos. I mean wasps, cockroaches and spiders piss me off as well but they don't fucking do anything to you if you just stand still. They're just there. But Mosquitos? They come and make you itch which wouldn't be bad if there was only one of them. But there's always 5 of them trying to eat you at the same time!
Click to expand...

Yeah. I can't go outside without getting accosted by mosquitoes (and other bugs), and it pisses me off. I'd spent so much more time outside if I didn't get bit constantly
 
A

AshStrife

Member
brotkasten said:
I'd like to know that as well. Same with flies. What's their fucking purpose besides eating shit and pissing me off when they're in the kitchen?
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Their larvae form is a huge food source for other organisms. They are actually are a very important part of the food chain.
 
M

MmmSkyscraper

Unconfirmed Member
Like a boss.gif

Eats carrion and humans, also cannabilistic for bonus points.

Its saliva is frequently blood-tinged, because its teeth are almost completely covered by gingival tissue that is naturally lacerated during feeding. This creates an ideal culture for the virulent bacteria that live in its mouth... Copious amounts of red saliva that the Komodo dragons produce help to lubricate the food, but swallowing is still a long process (15–20 minutes to swallow a goat). Komodo dragons may attempt to speed up the process by ramming the carcass against a tree to force it down its throat, sometimes ramming so forcefully that the tree is knocked down.
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After digestion, the Komodo dragon regurgitates a mass of horns, hair, and teeth known as the gastric pellet, which is covered in malodorous mucus.
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Dragons of equal size may resort to "wrestling". Losers usually retreat though they have been known to be killed and eaten by victors.
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Occasionally they consume humans and human corpses, digging up bodies from shallow graves....The Komodo dragon has also been observed intentionally startling a pregnant deer in the hopes of a miscarriage whose remains they can eat, a technique that has also been observed in large African predators.
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Mating occurs between May and August, with the eggs laid in September. During this period, males fight over females and territory by grappling with one another upon their hind legs with the loser eventually being pinned to the ground. These males may vomit or defecate when preparing for the fight.
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When the young must approach a kill, they roll around in fecal matter and rest in the intestines of eviscerated animals to deter these hungry adults.
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That's nasty.
 
D

Degen

Member
Salazar said:
Spiders.

I once slept for a couple of hours, and one almost the size of my palm was on my back underneath a beachtowel. Just fucking staying still. Probably thinking evil fucking thoughts. Sinister as fuck.
Click to expand...
It's on purpose, I swear. The smaller ones seem to get a kick out of using their web to lower right in front of your face...
 
S

Staccat0

Fail out bailed
brotkasten said:
I'd like to know that as well. Same with flies. What's their fucking purpose besides eating shit and pissing me off when they're in the kitchen?
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thats their purpose.
plus maggots can be useful
°°ToMmY°° said:
Pigeon,Feral.jpg
Click to expand...
what!? That fool is probably the distant relative of a war hero!:lol
 
B

BreakyBoy

o_O @_@ O_o
brotkasten said:
I'd like to know that as well. Same with flies. What's their fucking purpose besides eating shit and pissing me off when they're in the kitchen?
Click to expand...

Flies (including mosquitoes, which are just a type of fly) are an immensely important part of the food chain. Lots of animals eat flies as a staple of their diet. Some, like colonies of bats, can consume massive quantities of flies (up to 500k pounds IIRC) per night. I suppose we don't need the bats either, right?

Oh, and maggots are really the best parts of flies. They get laid in carcasses, get born and then clean up the carcass rapidly and efficiently. In the process of consuming the carcass, their waste provide nutrients for the plants and fungus around them. Which are in turn a vital part of the food chain for other animals, and oh yeah, breathing for us oxygen types. Maggots are great redistributors of organic matter.

So, yeah, go flies.
 
C

Catalix

And on the sixth day the LORD David Bowie created man and woman in His image. And he saw that it was good. On the seventh day the LORD created videogames so that He might take the bloody day off for once.
Zeliard said:
I've heard about this video.

I will not click.
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ok, now I have to click!

The title of the video alone made me go WTF. Oh god :lol
 
-COOLIO-

-COOLIO-

The Everyman
SolidusDave said:
I just saw a gif which makes snapping turtles the douchebag animal of the day for me :(


warning, it's quite gruesome (though no humans involved, just a mouse...), so I won't put it in tags

http://imgur.com/G5HLB.gif


the gif also shows that mice are the most awesome animal of the day...


...until a douchebag snapping turtle strikes AGAIN



boy do I not want to go near them or accidental step on them in the water D:
Click to expand...

that is so sad : [

but apart from going straight for the head this has to be one of the more humane ways to kill a mouse for eating
 
R

Red

Member
-COOLIO- said:
but apart from going straight for the head this has to be one of the more humane ways to kill a mouse for eating
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Ripping it in half and watching its intestines trail behind it as it swims away?
 
A

Arthrus

Member
Crunched said:
Ripping it in half and watching its intestines trail behind it as it swims away?
Click to expand...

The whole process takes like 5 seconds. Not like he spent a few minutes playing around with a drowning, ripped-up mouse first.
 
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