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[hawkshockey11]

One last thing, is it absolutely necessary that you A) be in shape and B) have a good deal of money in your pocket in order to have a successful relationship with an attractive woman?

Realistically

in shape- it helps. As long as you are not obese.
Money- no.

Interesting Personality- yes
fun-yes

I know there are relationships with fat boring poor guys with hot girlfriends, but most likely the stars aligned just right for those to happen. Nothing worth having in life comes easily. You are going to have to work if you want something.

 

[Atramental]

It's just that if you're talking to a girl you like, and then you see the way that they talk and act, right? Then, when somebody else comes up, you see their whole attitude change and become warmer, and they obviously like them, almost to the point where it's blatantly obvious, and then you realize that you're fucked.

And you're getting yourself more fucked because you're not taking any goddamn initiative to tell this girl that you wanna get with her sometime.

Who knows! She might end up liking you more once you ask her out and end up liking that other guy less because he never worked up the courage to ask her out on a date.

One last thing, is it absolutely necessary that you A) be in shape and B) have a good deal of money in your pocket in order to have a successful relationship with an attractive woman?

A) It helps.
The reason why I want to get into tip top shape is because I'm not happy with my current weight and energy levels.

B) It's nice to have but it's not necessary. And if a girl is only hanging out with you because of your money then she's not worth your time or money.


Edit: I'm going to bed.
Goodnight, everyone.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Bro hug. Def will drink to that!

The best thing I could hope for, is that it goes smoothly. I'm already blocking her everywhere, and gathering everything that reminds me of her. I won't be dwelling on her, as much as I may miss her.

Edit- I did cry for her, I won't lie. She didn't seem too hurt over it, which kinda took me by surprise. But whatever, single life is all the rage I hear.

Same here man. In my case she's already moved on to someone else, but I'm struggling to grasp how I can be so affected by her leaving me when she can seemingly do it without emotion.

Regardless of that, I'm on board with you as far as single life goes. I'm not quite ready to jump in yet, but I look forward to doing it soon. Cheers to the both of us!

 

[Izick]

And you're getting yourself more fucked because you're not taking any goddamn initiative to tell this girl that you wanna get with her sometime.

Who knows! She might end up liking you more once you ask her out and end up liking that other guy less because he never worked up the courage to ask her out on a date.


Edit: I'm going to bed.
Goodnight, everyone.

I wish that were the case. That'd be awesome, actually.

Good night Atramental.

 

[Atramental]

I wish that were the case. That'd be awesome, actually.

Good night Atramental.

Well fuck. It can be awesome! and it can be the case! if you just say a couple little sentences expressing your interest in her!

Goodnight...

 

[reilo]

And you're getting yourself more fucked because you're not taking any goddamn initiative to tell this girl that you wanna get with her sometime.

Who knows! She might end up liking you more once you ask her out and end up liking that other guy less because he never worked up the courage to ask her out on a date.

When was the last time anyone said, "man, I'm glad I procrastinated?"

Don't procrastinate on yourself.

 

[Hylian7]

I wish that were the case. That'd be awesome, actually.

Good night Atramental.

And you do not know until you try, so try!

 

[HarryHengst]

One last thing, is it absolutely necessary that you A) be in shape and B) have a good deal of money in your pocket in order to have a successful relationship with an attractive woman?

No. Does it help the initial stage or getting one night stands? Yes, it does. But no relationship will last long if you are the most boring dude in the world, even with a good body and lots of money.

What is important is having passions, ambitions, hobbies, interests. Things that drive you, things that a girl can see and be impressed by. This can be anything, from your career to a musical instrument to being politically active or whatever. It will depend on the girl of course, but you will find one eventually that loves what you are doing. Dont overthink this, its not about how good you are, its that you have something you genuinely love to do.

A good sense of humour that meshes well with the girl's humour is also really important, and can be a dealbreaker. If you cant laugh together, it is pretty much pointless to pursue a relationship.

But in the end, its all about having that chance meeting with the right girl. The girl im dating i met through class. We're both working on our masters degree (she in greek/latin, I in history. Being poor and unemployed together, here we come. :lol ), and the course we're following together wasn't part of either of our regular programs, we just thought it was an interesting course. If either of us hadn't enrolled we never would have met.

I know that saying that a big part of it is pure luck is not something people want to hear, because it means they cant really control it. Of course, this doesn't mean you cant help luck a hand by being out there, talking to people, having a life that makes people want to be a part of it. The more people you meet, the more chances you have to meet a nice girl with whom it just clicks.

But there is no magic formula, no 'right things' to do to guarantee success. Its not a video game where following steps X and Y always leads to outcome Z. Thinking there is leads to things like PUA, and thats the last thing people should resort to.

 

[mcrae]

Atramental i just want to say its pretty awesome seeing your transition since a few months, and i think maybe even years ago

 

[Kalnos]

Atramental i just want to say its pretty awesome seeing your transition since a few months, and i think maybe even years ago

I noticed as well, did you hit it off with any of your lady friends Atra?

 

[Discotheque]

If there is on thing I have learned these past few months is that no one will feel the same way you feel about each other for very long.

Wait. What the fuck does this mean?! It's making me paranoid...

 

[Klyka]

The girl I'm going to meet for our first date tomorrow just sent me an animated gif of a man fucking a fat woman's naval.

I never had that happen before.

Anyone care to take a stab at analyzing that?

 

[mcrae]

The girl I'm going to meet for our first date tomorrow just sent me an animated gif of a man fucking a fat woman's naval.

I never had that happen before.

Anyone care to take a stab at analyzing that?

want to entertain us by posting your last few messages you've exchanged?

optionally: she is fat, you've only seen headshots, and she doesnt think your dick is long enough to reach her vagina so is offering other orifices.

Spoiler

orifices that don't exist unless you're morbidly obese enough to develop them. shag that niche opportunity klyka

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

The girl I'm going to meet for our first date tomorrow just sent me an animated gif of a man fucking a fat woman's naval.

I never had that happen before.

Anyone care to take a stab at analyzing that?

Oh fuck I've seen it. Thought it was funny.

I can't think of a deep meaning. If she's into that kind of humor and thinks you also are, she simply wanted to seem funny.

 

[Chinner]

reply and be like ' I see you have seen my work'

 

[Klyka]

Oh fuck I've seen it. Thought it was funny.

I can't think of a deep meaning. If she's into that kind of humor and thinks you also are, she simply wanted to seem funny.

Yeah I guess it was just a joke since we were talking about "stomach orgasms" the day before.
It's just not something I have received from a girl I never even met yet before, haha.

 

[MutantCyborg]

I don't even know where to start with this so sorry in advance if it sounds incoherent.

About three months ago my ex broke up with me. Now, she wasn't exactly clear on her reasoning but I think I know what went wrong. I was pretty nervous around girls I liked at that time and even with her. I often would not suggest many dates because I was literally afraid of rejection. Another reason, I was lacking confidence in myself. Often not speaking my mind or just not having much to talk about. I really liked this girl and as a result I was miserable when we broke up.

After about a month I felt much better about the break up, so I started showing interest in different girls. I went on to lightly date a few girls (nothing serious) and it was great I felt like I redeemed myself for acting the way I did with my ex. Something during this period completely changed my attitude toward dating, relationships and most importantly myself. I am now way more confident than I was with her, can talk to anyone including girls I find attractive with absolutely no problem what-so-ever.

About mid-March I began to think of my ex again. I tried everything you guys suggested to get over her again, but nothing worked. I even started going the gym more often to clear my mind and if anything it has made it worse. Every interaction I have reminds me more and more of her.

What prompts me to write this is today I noticed a change in her, and more so her friends toward me. During our extremely limited contact, that I try my best to keep extremely limited, she has gone from straight face - "I don't want anything to do with you" look to a way more friendly smile and beginning to look towards me more often when she would, what seemed like, avoid before. The more noticeable change would have been with her close friends; before they would not even acknowledge me at some points, now they seem to be doing the same things she has.

I'm not sure if I just needed to get this off my chest, or if I want advice on it. Do what you are willing.

I'm pretty sure that's what I what I want to do, but I can't speak for her. Honestly, I don't even know how to get back with an ex to be honest. On top of that, she is the one who broke it off not me. .

Well, I thought a little more about this last night, probably a bad idea. I still feel the same way. I think I am going to try and talk to her today if I can. I have one question though, as I've never tried getting back with an ex before, should I just handle it as I would any other encounter? Should I just ask her to talk? We don't have much alone time unless I ask to talk to her alone.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Yeah I guess it was just a joke since we were talking about "stomach orgasms" the day before.
It's just not something I have received from a girl I never even met yet before, haha.

Take it as an in-joke and nothing else, then, especially if she mentioned that talk.

We are humans, we love our stupid humor as well (I once spent 45 minutes laughing when a professor kept saying something that sounded like "penis"). And that .gif is something to share.

 

[FinalD]

*removed*

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Do things work essentially the same way for girls? Is it worth talking to someone you don't think you have a chance with?

"Chance" is a construct of your imagination.

And yes, even girls need to be proactive. Go to sites like AskMen and read their articles on how girls flirt and show signs of interest. You'll be way better off reading sites like that rather than Cosmo or other nonsensical bullshit of "how to land a guy."

 

[HarryHengst]

If you are a girl, just ask the guy you are interested in on a date. Dont do this whole dumb 'he should ask me' stuff. Its 2012, not 1912.

 

[RawPower]

No. Does it help the initial stage or getting one night stands? Yes, it does. But no relationship will last long if you are the most boring dude in the world, even with a good body and lots of money.

What is important is having passions, ambitions, hobbies, interests. Things that drive you, things that a girl can see and be impressed by. This can be anything, from your career to a musical instrument to being politically active or whatever. It will depend on the girl of course, but you will find one eventually that loves what you are doing. Dont overthink this, its not about how good you are, its that you have something you genuinely love to do.

A good sense of humour that meshes well with the girl's humour is also really important, and can be a dealbreaker. If you cant laugh together, it is pretty much pointless to pursue a relationship.

But in the end, its all about having that chance meeting with the right girl. The girl im dating i met through class. We're both working on our masters degree (she in greek/latin, I in history. Being poor and unemployed together, here we come. :lol ), and the course we're following together wasn't part of either of our regular programs, we just thought it was an interesting course. If either of us hadn't enrolled we never would have met.

I know that saying that a big part of it is pure luck is not something people want to hear, because it means they cant really control it. Of course, this doesn't mean you cant help luck a hand by being out there, talking to people, having a life that makes people want to be a part of it. The more people you meet, the more chances you have to meet a nice girl with whom it just clicks.

But there is no magic formula, no 'right things' to do to guarantee success. Its not a video game where following steps X and Y always leads to outcome Z. Thinking there is leads to things like PUA, and thats the last thing people should resort to.

I must admit that I'm still scared as hell. However, I know that if I don't act now, then I probably never will. I have no idea how interesting or worthwhile I really am, but it's times like this that I just have to throw caution to the dogs and do something.

 

[jasonng]

Well, I thought a little more about this last night, probably a bad idea. I still feel the same way. I think I am going to try and talk to her today if I can. I have one question though, as I've never tried getting back with an ex before, should I just handle it as I would any other encounter? Should I just ask her to talk? We don't have much alone time unless I ask to talk to her alone.

I'm not one to advocate getting back together with an ex but your situation is a bit unclear mostly because you never got proper closure. Just talk to her and see where it goes. I'd tread lightly because the last thing you would want is to get hurt again. Worst case scenario you'll learn why she broke up with you and you can really move on.

Atramental i just want to say its pretty awesome seeing your transition since a few months, and i think maybe even years ago

I haven't been keeping up with this thread but I'm very glad to hear this!

 

[windz]

FinalD - you are psyching yourself out. Don't over-think this. If you keep worrying like this it'll happen again and again. It's all in your head - there is nothing wrong with you or her. Just kick this mode of thinking.

She wants you as much as you want her by the sounds of it. You obviously really like this girl, so show her, be confident, be yourself and have a great time.

 

[Qwerty710710]

Reading this thread make me depressed. We have a lot in common with each other we get fucked over by women.

It might look bleak but I'm sure things will turn in our favor some day.

 

[HarryHengst]

Reading this thread make me depressed. We have a lot in common with each other we get fucked over by women.

It might look bleak but I'm sure things will turn in our favor some day.

Thinking you get 'fucked over' by women is the wrong way to think. Thats the road that leads to misogyny and thinking you 'deserve' a woman and acting like a Nice Guy.

 

[hipgnosis]

Having a date again tomorrow. This is the really hot girl that has a master's already. Invited her to my place and gonna prepare dinner for her. Lost count how many times we've seen already. Things are looking pretty good.

Also the taken girl still wants to see me all the time. Gonna have to friendzone her next time we see, but really don't know how to do this without offending her. Any tips?

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Reading this thread make me depressed. We have a lot in common with each other we get fucked over by women.

It might look bleak but I'm sure things will turn in our favor some day.

No, with that attitude they won't.

 

[Chinner]

just want to inform you guys that i have shaved. it was dramatic but i think it was for the best.

 

[Jenga]

just want to inform you guys that i have shaved. it was dramatic but i think it was for the best.

i brushed my teeth and bled

should i tell a woman that i have bled for them gaf?

 

[Chinner]

yes use it as a talking point because its something you can both relate to.

 

[Devolution]

Reading this thread make me depressed. We have a lot in common with each other we get fucked over by women.

It might look bleak but I'm sure things will turn in our favor some day.

You don't get fucked over by women you get fucked over by shitty people. If you were homosexual you'd still have relationship issues.

 

[Xun]

Do the chakra video for like an hour straight (eyes closed and headphones).....there's no way you will ever feel the same

The Chakra one is brilliant, definitely relaxed me just now.

I've got to try and download a bunch of these.

Also on an unrelated note:

I could be going nuts, but I think a girl I went on a few dates with back in 2010 (OT1 days... damn) still likes me, or at least feels something for me.

I noticed at a college reunion last weekend that she seemed quite flirty/touchy with me, so perhaps she hasn't gotten over me yet? I "ended" it with her after a few dates since we were good friends and I wasn't (still not) looking for anything serious, nor did I want to lose our friendship. Another factor was that she's religious (Anglican).

I must admit sometimes I feel I should've just gone for it, especially given how lonely I am right now. But alternatively it was probably for the best. It was also huge confidence boost however knowing a friend liked me, it's just a shame things quickly went downhill the following year.

I'll be seeing her again this saturday, so that's probably why she's on my mind again.

 

[RawPower]

Well here's my OKCupid, if anyone wants to make an assessment on what I'm doing wrong.

My self-summary
On account of a broken camera, that's the only picture I have of myself right now. It's from a little over a year ago.
What I’m doing with my life
Double majoring in Philosophy and History.
I’m really good at
Cartoon voice impressions
The first things people usually notice about me
My long almond hair, the gap between my front teeth, my goofy personality
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Believe it or not, I enjoy thoroughly reading textbooks from my classes, especially history, physics and philosophy.

Music: Infest, State of Fear, Tragedy, Disfear, Toxic Narcotic, Nausea, Bad Religion, AFI, Husker Du, Bad Brains, Filth, Slayer, Sepultura, Children of Bodom (sometimes), Death, etc. As you can probably tell, I love hardcore punk and (almost) all kinds of metal. However, I don't like hair metal or that macho tough guy shit from the nu-metal scene.

Food: A variety of things, and I try not to over-indulge in one food group over another. One thing I will say for certain is I can be very picky about what I eat. Health is very important to me.

Movies: I'll watch anything if it's good, or if I want to laugh at a bad movie.
The six things I could never do without
Health, autonomy, hardcore punk, video games, friends, and family
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Metaphysical problems
On a typical Friday night I am
Out with my friends or at a show. Depends on how tired I am.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I'm here
I’m looking for

Girls who like guys
Ages 19–28
Near me
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

You should message me if
You have both a brain and a heart

 

[Gruco]

Just broke up with my girlfriend of ~2 years.

Distance finally got to us. Probably stupid to be doing distance for so long.

6 months ago I would have said without hesitation that we'd probably end up getting married. Things went downhill pretty fast.

She said she hoped that we could still wind up being friends or keeping in touch. I said I don't know what comes next, don't know what I'll be comfortable with, and can't promise anything like that. She said she'll just email me sometime and I can feel free to tell her to stop.

The sad thing is, I am now worried about breaking the news to my family and friends, given that they all loved her.

Can't decide whether I am a complete mess right now or not.

The idea of starting to date again kind of grosses me out right now. Will probably take a while to get used to it again.

I suppose right now I need to keep my energies on making sure other aspects of my life don't suffer....throw myself into working out, my work, etc., and don't let this be a distraction.

 

[Jenga]

Well here's my OKCupid, if anyone wants to make an assessment on what I'm doing wrong.

you're pretty boring i wouldnt be dtf

 

[RawPower]

you're pretty boring i wouldnt be dtf

Just as I feared.

*sigh*

I don't know how to be more interesting. That's just who I am.

 

[-PXG-]

I just got in a relationship, and now a shit load of girls are giving me attention. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Problem is, I want them all. Wat do?

Spoiler

And no, this is not a fucking stealth brag, I really need help and a solution that will please me, but not make me a jerk either.

 

[RawPower]

It's not like I can make myself more interesting than I actually am.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

*sigh*

Well, I'm going to turn this disappointment into a motivation. That's one less flake for me to worry about, and it'll be to her dismay to see not only that I'll be nonplussed about it, but also when she realizes how poor her judgment and taste was.

 

[Almond]

"Chance" is a construct of your imagination.

And yes, even girls need to be proactive. Go to sites like AskMen and read their articles on how girls flirt and show signs of interest. You'll be way better off reading sites like that rather than Cosmo or other nonsensical bullshit of "how to land a guy."

I think I have a good idea already of what to do, it's just doing it.

If you are a girl, just ask the guy you are interested in on a date. Dont do this whole dumb 'he should ask me' stuff. Its 2012, not 1912.

I don't think that and I wasn't trying to make it sound that way. I'm just not comfortable talking to men and was wondering if it's worth it talking to someone if I don't think they would likely be attracted to me.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Just broke up with my girlfriend of ~2 years.

Distance finally got to us. Probably stupid to be doing distance for so long.

6 months ago I would have said without hesitation that we'd probably end up getting married. Things went downhill pretty fast.

She said she hoped that we could still wind up being friends or keeping in touch. I said I don't know what comes next, don't know what I'll be comfortable with, and can't promise anything like that. She said she'll just email me sometime and I can feel free to tell her to stop.

The sad thing is, I am now worried about breaking the news to my family and friends, given that they all loved her.

Can't decide whether I am a complete mess right now or not.

The idea of starting to date again kind of grosses me out right now. Will probably take a while to get used to it again.

I suppose right now I need to keep my energies on making sure other aspects of my life don't suffer....throw myself into working out, my work, etc., and don't let this be a distraction.

Sorry to hear this man.

I feel like there have been a lot of breakups in this thread lately, myself included. The good news is, we're here for you if you feel like voicing your thoughts any further. It's only natural to let yourself grieve for a day or so, but after that you have the right idea in keeping yourself busy. You have my thoughts, man.

I just got in a relationship, and now a shit load of girls are giving me attention. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Problem is, I want them all. Wat do?

Spoiler

And no, this is not a fucking stealth brag, I really need help and a solution that will please me, but not make me a jerk either.

How much do you like the girl you're with?

I've handled this situation both ways in the past with mixed results, though I really do think there's something to the psychology of women being attracted to a taken man. I know in my experience, whenever I've left someone to pursue the abundance of women that seemingly came out of nowhere, that abundance soon disappeared. It was fun for awhile, but after a couple quick hook-ups I was back to missing the girl that I left originally, and that sucked.

I guess ultimately you just need to ask yourself whether or not you want to be in a relationship, or if you're content with just hooking up sporadically again. If so, then go for it, but I'd hate for you to end up regretting your decision, because we all know how painful that can be.

 

[RawPower]

Seriously, is there anything I can do to make myself more interesting? I feel like I'm completely fucked now.

 

[-PXG-]

Sorry to hear this man.

I feel like there have been a lot of breakups in this thread lately, myself included. The good news is, we're here for you if you feel like voicing your thoughts any further. It's only natural to let yourself grieve for a day or so, but after that you have the right idea in keeping yourself busy. You have my thoughts, man.


How much do you like the girl you're with?

I've handled this situation both ways in the past with mixed results, though I really do think there's something to the psychology of women being attracted to a taken man. I know in my experience, whenever I've left someone to pursue the abundance of women that seemingly came out of nowhere, that abundance soon disappeared. It was fun for awhile, but after a couple quick hook-ups I was back to missing the girl that I left originally, and that sucked.

I guess ultimately you just need to ask yourself whether or not you want to be in a relationship, or if you're content with just hooking up sporadically again. If so, then go for it, but I'd hate for you to end up regretting your decision, because we all know how painful that can be.

I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or be a dick.

And yeah, I don't to risk leaving her and then wind up not working out with my other prospects.

Fuck,,,,

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

It's not like I can make myself more interesting than I actually am.

Seriously, is there anything I can do to make myself more interesting? I feel like I'm completely fucked now.

It's all in the presentation, my good man, it's all in the presentation.

I'll think on this some and get back to you.

 

[RawPower]

It's all in the presentation, my good man, it's all in the presentation.

I'll think on this some and get back to you.

Thank you. At least somebody answered me, haha. I admit my presentation was more on the deadpan side, but I somehow misinterpreted that other guy's comment as saying "you have lame hobbies, so I'd never fuck you".

 

[grumble]

Seriously, is there anything I can do to make myself more interesting? I feel like I'm completely fucked now.

More interesting in conversation, or a more intresting person?

grumble's recipe to be a more interesting person:

1. Get in shape. Everything you do and say is better when you look and feel good.
2. Do one volunteer, one academic and one athletic activity at a minimum. These are things that you like to do, and that will get you exposed to people. Do lots of them, and do stuff even when you just feel like being at home. Force it a bit.

 

[Cyan]

So I went on a couple dates with this girl a few months back. Then she went official with somebody else. No worries, all very amicable.

Anyway, it popped up on her Facebook that she's single again. She was cute and fun and I felt like we clicked, so I'm thinking I might ask her out again. Any etiquette here? Ok to just call her out of the blue and be like "hey let's do x"?

 

[RawPower]

More interesting in conversation, or a more intresting person?

grumble's recipe to be a more interesting person:

1. Get in shape. Everything you do and say is better when you look and feel good.
2. Do one volunteer, one academic and one athletic activity at a minimum. These are things that you like to do, and that will get you exposed to people. Do lots of them, and do stuff even when you just feel like being at home. Force it a bit.

What are some volunteer activities? I want to take up fencing and I probably won't have much trouble finding an academic activity.

 

[Sanky Panky]

So I went on a couple dates with this girl a few months back. Then she went official with somebody else. No worries, all very amicable.

Anyway, it popped up on her Facebook that she's single again. She was cute and fun and I felt like we clicked, so I'm thinking I might ask her out again. Any etiquette here? Ok to just call her out of the blue and be like "hey let's do x"?

Errr it's fine if you just want to hang out as friends, but I wouldn't be ok with giving a girl attention who already thought I was second best to some other dude. You can be casual about hanging out, but I would let her make all the moves AND not take it seriously at all.