Support NeoGAF

[Squirrel Killer]

Guys, I swear I'm not tying to brag.
Look how high this shit is......

That's pretty fucking high. I just checked two of my toilets at home and there was at least six inches between the top of the water and the top of the seat (you do have the seat down, don't you?)

However, I don't really know what's common for public toilets. I pretty much need home field advantage to take a growlie, so in public, I'm pretty much always using a urinal instead. Could it be that the water level in public toilets are kept higher for some reason, such as to prevent clogs?

You aren't the only one. I am constantly lowering myself slowly onto the bowl in case my nuts get dipped in cold toilet water.

It is a genuine problem.

My balls dunk the water. Should a brag or feel old?

Your scrotum hit the water? I think you guys need a nip and tuck.

 

[Shokifer]

So for those of you keeping track, that's about six times somebody made a reference to throwing your dick over your shoulder

 

[Kacho]

You actually just passed the test. You are a true American. Now it's time to follow in Dennis and Stumpokapow's footsteeps and move here permanently.

 

[zoozilla]

No, they're not normally filled this high, though I can't speak for every single toilet in the country.

#NotAllToilets

 

[depths20XX]

If I don't manually hold by penis down, I pee through the front of my toilet. Right under the seat.

Woh, man, no need to out yourself.

 

[SigSig]

Almost as bad the dick-in-the-water phenomenon is the splashback. I mean, I'm not going to comment on OP's length but in general American toilets have the water level way too high.

Yup. Americans ITT busy calling out the OP on his brag to distract from the problem. American toilet water level is so high, it literally spawned that shitty ragecomic meme.

 

[davepoobond]

We need measurements

 

[Steamlord]

Well now the thing about splashback.. I actually disagree.
Since the water is so high, there is less space for the waste to build up speed and thus I find that I get less splash in American toilets than back home.

How long does it take for poop to reach terminal velocity?

 

[forms]

Guys, I swear I'm not tying to brag.
Look how high this shit is......

How is this not a problem for most of you!! It's got nothing to do with size!

Seriously, that looks like someone is trying to turn the toilet into an aquarium.

 

[Kevtones]

Fucking self-righteous euro-dick supremacists.

 

[NeOak]

How long does it take for poop to reach terminal velocity?

12 parsecs in the millennial falcon

 

[Deleted member 231381]

12 parsecs in the millennial falcon

but that's a measurement of smell, not speed

 

[Ray Wonder]

Well now the thing about splashback.. I actually disagree.
Since the water is so high, there is less space for the waste to build up speed and thus I find that I get less splash in American toilets than back home.

 

[Tobor]

Are you guys seriously kidding me? There's like 4 of us in here that confirmed it's a problem. Surely you're all just joking. Are you all so used to just having your tip in the water that you don't even notice any more? I just can't get my head around this not being a bigger problem than it seems.

Am I sitting wrong??
I tried tilting back and forward to see if it makes a difference. Maybe I was crouched forward too much... Nope.. No matter how I sit, the tip dips.

How have you not figured this out yet? You have a large penis. The few who agree with you also have large penises. The rest of us...

 

[NeOak]

I'm dying at work.

 

[Kevtones]

OP also runs the 1.6 kilometer race in under 4 minutes

 

[depths20XX]

How have you not figured this out yet? You have a large penis. The few who agree with you also have large penises. The rest of us...

They just want people to keep confirming it for them. Typical large dick dudes.

 

[Ray Wonder]

OP also runs the 1.6 kilometer race in under 4 minutes

His PE teacher used to tell him if his penis didn't touch the water to stretch it nightly.

 

[Shokifer]

I bet you were just waiting for a chance to bust out the discovery channel gifs weren't ya

 

[corrosivefrost]

Someone must be fucking with the OP by adjusting the mechanism right before he tries to offload.

 

[thoseAREmySHOES]

Ray Wonder deserves a tag for his work in this thread.

 

[thecouncil]

I don't doubt someone on NeoGaF is having this problem. I'm surprised more aren't, honestly.

 

[Nibel]

Guys, I swear I'm not tying to brag.
Look how high this shit is......

How is this not a problem for most of you!! It's got nothing to do with size!

Damn, it's like a bathtub for your ass; this is way too much tbh

Now I'm less surprised there is no water in Cali anymore

 

[Sami+]

man dont you just hate when you get a boner and people notice the tip touching the top of your shoes happened to me once in middle school man it was so awkward I wonder how other guys get away with it

 

[Dude Guy]

WHEN I SHIT

my dick touch the water

 

[DoktorEvil]

I'm sick of hearing people complain that the water is perfectly fine for Americans.

A working toilet looks like this:

Notice the low volume of water in the bowl?

Spoiler

Source: Work Bathroom

 

[MrBigBoy]

I'm with you OP, the same happened to me when I was in NYC.

It felt cold.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Ray Wonder deserves a tag for his work in this thread.

Oh stop it you.

 

[NeOak]

I'm sick of hearing people complain that the water is perfectly fine for Americans.

A working toilet looks like this:

Notice the low volume of water in the bowl?

Spoiler

Source: Work Bathroom

Is that a NYC subway toilet?

 

[Thorzilla]

 

[Stormhammer]

We just got a new toilet and this is where the water line is:


My dong is not hitting the water, but it certainly touches the sloped ceramic at times.

yo clean your toilet man

 

[Meowster]

The only way this would be an issue is if you'd have, like, a six-inch flaccid penis lol.

 

[FalsettoVibe]

lol

 

[DoktorEvil]

Is that a NYC subway toilet?

Yes.

Spoiler

No.

 

[RionaaM]

I'm jealous OP, I went to the US earlier this year and my member (I'm not talking about my GAF user!) didn't reach the shores of those waste disposal seas. Lucky you, man, lucky you.

 

[Red]

"My penis touches water that countless people have shit in."

"BRAG THREAD."

 

[NeOak]

"My penis touches water that countless people have shit in."

BRAG THREAD.

FTFY

 

[zewone]

This does happen to me sometimes. It's bit annoying, but then I also feel pretty good about myself afterwards, besides the fact I may have contracted some horrible feces disease.

 

[mullet2000]

congrats

Stealth brag thread.

Usually people try to stealth their brag threads.

Stealth brag thread.

Not so stealth brag thread.

Insecure commenter thread.

 

[Zalman]

Just wanted to say I read the entire thread and I regret nothing

 

[nasax]

Ever woken up with morning wood and sat down groggy to take a piss? That's how piss accidents happen.

 

[Like the hat?]

I'm convinced I have the smallest dick in the world because this has never been an issue for me but people bring it up on gaf all the time.

 

[Shokifer]

One day I too hope to travel to America and achieve the scrotal baptism.

 

[depths20XX]

I'm convinced I have the smallest dick in the world because this has never been an issue for me but people bring it up on gaf all the time.

Somewhere out there in this world there's a toilet with a high enough water level waiting for you to sit on it and make you feel like a big man.

 

[evilromero]

Drape it.

 

[Shepard]

Guys, I swear I'm not tying to brag.
Look how high this shit is......

How is this not a problem for most of you!! It's got nothing to do with size!

To be fair, that's a lot of water.

 

[King Tubby]

Never had this problem, my penis is constantly erect.

 

[cyberheater]

One day I too hope to travel to America and achieve the scrotal baptism.

I did chuckle. LOL.

 

[Daffy Duck]

Are you guys seriously kidding me? There's like 4 of us in here that confirmed it's a problem. Surely you're all just joking. Are you all so used to just having your tip in the water that you don't even notice any more? I just can't get my head around this not being a bigger problem than it seems.

Am I sitting wrong??
I tried tilting back and forward to see if it makes a difference. Maybe I was crouched forward too much... Nope.. No matter how I sit, the tip dips.

I have the most bizarre mental image of you on the toilet now hahaha.

 

[Kevtones]

Okay so I tested it. I'm a little longer than an iPhone 5c and leaned forward I'm still more than an inch from baptism.

Leaned in a mid-range, efficient slump position (for normal shitting) I added about 2-3 inches of distance.

OP, unless he's leaned forward, probably has a 9-10 incher flaccid.