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[Snaku]

Stealth brag thread.

There's nothing stealth about the op.

 

[SuperInuit]

Just cut it off man.

 

[Shokifer]

tbh it wouldn't be the first time America has gone for quantity over quality.

 

[Falcs]

Also, I guess the OP is a shower, not a grower, or he doesn't know to put the seat down.

I'm pretty sure I'm a grower, not a shower, which makes me think even more that you're all just messing with me and pretending this doesn't happen to you.

The only time I can think of that this problem didn't occur was when I had shrinkage from having wet pants at the Universal Studios theme park in Orlando.

 

[espher]

Entered the thread to find out how the hell people having water contact issues sit on their toilets.

Stuck around for the diagrams.

 

[Steamlord]

Almost as bad the dick-in-the-water phenomenon is the splashback. I mean, I'm not going to comment on OP's length but in general American toilets have the water level way too high.

Unlike dick-dipping, splashback is indeed a real problem that affects millions of Americans each year.

 

[Milly Osworth]

That seems to be a clogged toilet :/

 

[Shokifer]

I'm pretty sure I'm a grower, not a shower.

So when you get an erection it's like

 

[andycapps]

To be fair, I'm in England and our toilets have nowhere near that much water in them. Are American ones really filled that high?

You're all just messing with me. I refuse to believe this only affects a few people.
I'm not even a big guy. I'm only like 5 foot, 8.5 inches.

No, they're not normally filled this high, though I can't speak for every single toilet in the country.

 

[papercan55]

Guys, I swear I'm not tying to brag.
Look how high this shit is......

How is this not a problem for most of you!! It's got nothing to do with size!

Is this normal in america? If so then it's maybe not a brag thread because that's crazy.

 

[Cheesehead9099]

Stop lying

 

[Supermanisdead]

so did he ever say if he was putting the seat down or sitting directly on the bowl?

 

[TheSeks]

Stealth brag thread.

.

Also I'm trying to figure out the logistics of this being a thing. If you're sitting like a normal person, unless you have a horse-sized peen, I haven't heard anyone above average ever really complain about this thing on some sort of regularity.

 

[hellmonkey]

I'm pretty sure I'm a grower, not a shower, which makes me think even more that you're all just messing with me and pretending this doesn't happen to you.

The only time I can think of that this problem didn't occur was when I had shrinkage from having wet pants at the Universal Studios theme park in Orlando.

If you really are a grower and your junk is in the water flaccid, you need to get into porn immediately because you must put several horses to shame. You have a long, lucrative career ahead of you as the man with the 3rd leg, just put a shoe on the damn thing.

 

[NeOak]

Is this normal in america? If so then it's maybe not a brag thread because that's crazy.

Err, look above you

No, they're not normally filled this high, though I can't speak for every single toilet in the country.

 

[Jazz573]

OP, are you sure you aren't a horse?

 

[hellmonkey]

Is this normal in america? If so then it's maybe not a brag thread because that's crazy.

In my neck of the woods it is. In in a Chicago suburb and this is very normal on many toilets.

 

[NeOak]

If you really are a grower and your junk is in the water flaccid, you need to get into porn immediately because you must put several horses to shame. You have a long, lucrative career ahead of you as the man with the 3rd leg, just put a shoe on the damn thing.

 

[Red]

.

Also I'm trying to figure out the logistics of this being a thing. If you're sitting like a normal person, unless you have a horse-sized peen, I haven't heard anyone above average ever really complain about this thing on some sort of regularity.

Literally every day I am at work. Most public toilets as well. I'm safe at home because I chose toilets specifically to avoid this problem. I know this kind of thread attracts jokes, but it is a real problem and it is genuinely surprising most guys have not experienced it. I've always thought it was one of those common experiences that goes unsaid.

 

[Rival]

Shaq?

 

[Dreams-Visions]

OP is absolutely right, haters.

I made this observation in an earlier thread.

I guess the consensus was that American toilets are made for small American dicks and thus present something of a problem for our large Euro dicks.

+1

It's frustrating and I've mentioned it before.

 

[Deleted member 231381]

Literally every day I am at work. Most public toilets as well. I'm safe at home because I chose toilets specifically to avoid this problem. I know this kind of thread attracts jokes, but it is a real problem and it is genuinely surprising most guys have not experienced it. I've always thought it was one of those common experiences that goes unsaid.

I never experienced this in the UK. I spent 2 weeks in Louisiana and it was a genuine problem.

 

[papercan55]

Err, look above you

i posted the same time as that reply.
So OP clogs every toilet he visits in america on purpose so that his dong goes for a swim every time? OP... your sick.

In my neck of the woods it is. In in a Chicago suburb and this is very normal on many toilets.

I never experienced this in the UK. I spent 2 weeks in Louisiana and it was a genuine problem.

maybe not....americans get in here and explain this!

 

[Ray Wonder]

If I don't manually hold by penis down, I pee through the front of my toilet. Right under the seat.

 

[fokkusu]

Meanwhile in Finland:

 

[andycapps]

I never experienced this in the UK. I spent 2 weeks in Louisiana and it was a genuine problem.

Did you put the lid down or sit directly on the toilet?

 

[Veritigo_X]

Guys, I swear I'm not tying to brag.
Look how high this shit is......

How is this not a problem for most of you!! It's got nothing to do with size!

You're supposed to put the toilet seat down...

That water looks unusually high though. Probably clogged or not maintained very well.

 

[Cheesehead9099]

Op sitting on the toilet

 

[Deleted member 231381]

Did you put the lid down or sit directly on the toilet?

Lid down, obviously. Who sits directly on the toilet?

 

[Walter White Walker]

0/10 bogus brag thread. Will not read again.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Op sitting on the toilet

 

[DECK'ARD]

Is this normal in america? If so then it's maybe not a brag thread because that's crazy.

All toilets were like that when I've been to America, it's unnerving.

 

[Kiko]

OP is absolutely right, haters.

I made this observation in an earlier thread.

I guess the consensus was that American toilets are made for small American dicks and thus present something of a problem for our large Euro dicks.

It is correct. The toilets in the US are weird. Europe is much better. My dick isn't touching the water but I'm with the OP. In some cases the water IS too high.
Why is that anyway. Is your poop weird as well Ameri-GAF??

 

[TwEE-N-Toast]

Is this normal in america? If so then it's maybe not a brag thread because that's crazy.

It's normal in Canada too. We have so much water that we just waste buckets of it just for shitting and pissing. It's pretty great.

 

[-COOLIO-]

Just do what I do and toss it over your shoulder.

 

[CloudyTuba]

You're suppose to have an erection when doing a number two.

I thought that's just how it naturally worked. Where's your poop erection, OP? Maybe you should see a doctor. Just sling it over your shoulder and walk on down to the office.

Maybe if you spin it like Thor's Hammer the momentum will propel you there.

 

[Deleted member 231381]

It's normal in Canada too. We have so much water that we just waste buckets of it just for shitting and pissing. It's pretty great.

but the splashback

it was horrific, i literally spent two weeks terrified of having a shit

 

[papercan55]

All toilets were like that when I've been to America, it's unnerving.

It's normal in Canada too. We have so much water that we just waste buckets of it just for shitting and pissing. It's pretty great.

case closed then, congratulations for having a normal size dong OP.

 

[stufte]

OP: beware of the olde american dickgrabber. high water levels are an indication of there presence.

 

[Falcs]

Are you guys seriously kidding me? There's like 4 of us in here that confirmed it's a problem. Surely you're all just joking. Are you all so used to just having your tip in the water that you don't even notice any more? I just can't get my head around this not being a bigger problem than it seems.

Am I sitting wrong??
I tried tilting back and forward to see if it makes a difference. Maybe I was crouched forward too much... Nope.. No matter how I sit, the tip dips.

 

[FalsettoVibe]

OP is this you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcfJL51Xia4

lol....the bass goes hard though.

 

[NeOak]

Are you guys seriously kidding me? There's like 4 of us in here that confirmed it's a problem. Surely you're all just joking. Are you all so used to just having your tip in the water that you don't even notice any more? I just can't get my head around this not being a bigger problem than it seems.

Spoiler

No one takes stealth brag threads seriously

 

[Verendus]

Almost as bad the dick-in-the-water phenomenon is the splashback. I mean, I'm not going to comment on OP's length but in general American toilets have the water level way too high.

Yep.

Sort your shit out America.

 

[Ray Wonder]

I can't hear you with the sound of your immense penis splashing around.

 

[Steamlord]

It is correct. The toilets in the US are weird. Europe is much better. My dick isn't touching the water but I'm with the OP. In some cases the water IS too high.
Why is that anyway. Is your poop weird as well Ameri-GAF??

Our burgers that we eat three meals a day don't actually have any nutrients that our bodies can use, so we literally just shit out chewed-up hamburger.

 

[Plywood]

This is how I imagine events unfold for the OP

Dying.

 

[JayTapp]

Op sitting on the toilet

ok, lol.

that got me.

 

[Deleted member 231381]

Spoiler

No one takes stealth brag threads seriously

nonon

it's not just about dick-dipping, it's about splashback too

are you genuinely telling me americans don't notice the old faithful that lies below?

 

[NeOak]

nonon

it's not just about dick-dipping, it's about splashback too

are you genuinely telling me americans don't notice the old faithful that lies below?

Spiders don't come standard with our toilets.

That's extra.

 

[Falcs]

Well now the thing about splashback.. I actually disagree.
Since the water is so high, there is less space for the waste to build up speed and thus I find that I get less splash in American toilets than back home.