Support NeoGAF

[Hylian7]

After finishing up the article, I wondered how long this would take. The answer is 14 minutes.

It seems to be fine from initial testing in all scenarios of the game, including cutscenes, exploration, skits and battles. Videos are broken, would probably require another 15 minutes to fix. No wonder B-N couldn't bother.

...I stand corrected and impressed. God damn, good job.

 

[Nairume]

If Durante had a STAND, what would it be called?

Clearly 'THE FIXER'

Spoiler

'MAN WHO REPAIRS THINGS' in the official translation

 

[LiK]

After finishing up the article, I wondered how long this would take. The answer is 14 minutes.

It seems to be fine from initial testing in all scenarios of the game, including cutscenes, exploration, skits and battles. Videos are broken, would probably require another 15 minutes to fix. No wonder B-N couldn't bother.

your tag can't get any longer!

 

[Maebe]

Weird when zestiria was a good port. Aside from lol 30 fps lock but not really

 

[Maxximo]

Ahahah come on...

How could they not be bothered to do a better job?

 

[Layell]

This patch better not break Durante's work, he may need to add another 5 minutes or so of effort : (

 

[Suzushiiro]

Seriously, porting teams need to just start fucking paying Durante to do this shit for them. Maybe not the whole thing, just get it to the point where it's stable on PC at equivalent res/framerate, hand Durante the source code and the rest of their programming budget, and let him do the rest.

 

[Meia]

Seriously, porting teams need to just start fucking paying Durante to do this shit for them. Maybe not the whole thing, just get it to the point where it's stable on PC at equivalent res/framerate, hand Durante the source code and the rest of their programming budget, and let him do the rest.

It is kind of utterly ridiculous that whoever these companies get to program the port are so inept that someone on their free time fixes their work for them again, and again, and again. All different companies, and it gets fixed anyway.


At this point Durante is just the Wolf from Pulp Fiction. PAY THE MAN.

 

[DR2K]

This is getting ridiculous. Who was assigned the PC port?

 

[Easy_D]

It is kind of utterly ridiculous that whoever these companies get to program the port are so inept that someone on their free time fixes their work for them again, and again, and again. All different companies, and it gets fixed anyway.


At this point Durante is just the Wolf from Pulp Fiction. PAY THE MAN.

Without access to the source code, at that. :lol

 

[Gbraga]

14 minutes boyz

 

[Novum_Veritas]

This is getting ridiculous. Who was assigned the PC port?

LazyMofo apparently

 

[Parsnip]

A small patch just happened. Not sure what it did, isn't a resolution fix at least from a quick load up.

Looks like they just added VC 2013 Redist to the package, nothing more.

 

[Chairmanchuck]

Seriously, porting teams need to just start fucking paying Durante to do this shit for them. Maybe not the whole thing, just get it to the point where it's stable on PC at equivalent res/framerate, hand Durante the source code and the rest of their programming budget, and let him do the rest.

I think Durante should be kinda "popular" now, so I wonder why they dont just pay him a bit to do a 30 minute QA...
Not sure if he would wanna do that though.

 

[Levyne]

Just throw "Chosen One" somewhere in his tag.

Durante
has heard Tales of a Deadly Premonition that we'd say Sayonara to jaggies, turn 30fps into Lightning, and cleanse our Dark Souls of ugly textures.

Or this

 

[Huge Succeeded]

Jesus Crap Dancing Fucking Christ.

Update that tag.

Durante
has heard Tales of a Deadly Premonition that we'd say Sayonara to jaggies, turn 30fps into Lightning, and cleanse our Dark Souls of ugly textures.

 

[Adnor]

Someday Durante will refuse to fix one of these games and the port team will not know what to do.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

If Durante had a STAND, what would it be called?

The Nameless One

 

[Easy_D]

14 minutes boyz

Durante is the world's first speed-porter. 100% Category

Just throw "Chosen One" somewhere in his tag.

"On his Journey of Regeneration he had a Deadly Premonition that we'd say Sayonara to jaggies, turn 30fps into Lightning, and cleanse our Dark Souls of ugly textures."

 

[Neoleo2143]

This... actually might be a rare moment where "lazy devs" might be accurate.

 

[mugurumakensei]

Here are what the trading cards and badges look like, for the curious.

Besides the fact that they look kinda bad, there is also this.

They really didn't give a damn, did they?

You must have forgotten the final plot twist or didn't complete 100% of the original game. You see the Mithos you encounter was more or less a phantom of Mithos. Zelos was actually Mithos the entire time. The guy you beat at the end was just the poor soul who didn't know he wasn't actually Mithos and didn't actually know his sister had already been saved. Zelos's sister is of course Martel.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

Seriously, porting teams need to just start fucking paying Durante to do this shit for them. Maybe not the whole thing, just get it to the point where it's stable on PC at equivalent res/framerate, hand Durante the source code and the rest of their programming budget, and let him do the rest.

Why pay for it when it's going to happen for free anyway?

 

[Chairmanchuck]

Spoiler

You must have forgotten the final plot twist or didn't complete 100% of the original game. You see the Mithos you encounter was more or less a phantom of Mithos. Zelos was actually Mithos the entire time. The guy you beat at the end was just the poor soul who didn't know he wasn't actually Mithos and didn't actually know his sister had already been saved. Zelos's sister is of course Martel.

Should put it in spoilertags.

 

[GhostTrick]

After finishing up the article, I wondered how long this would take. The answer is 14 minutes.

It seems to be fine from initial testing in all scenarios of the game, including cutscenes, exploration, skits and battles. Videos are broken, would probably require another 15 minutes to fix. No wonder B-N couldn't bother.

Seriously. Fuck them. Either they're fuckin incompetent or you're some kind of genius and they should hire you. In either case, or even in both, fuck them.

 

[Easy_D]

Should put it in spoilertags.

Spoiler

He's actually wrong, it's not really like that, at all.

 

[TheTrain]

I want read that article so badly

 

[Novum_Veritas]

Spoiler

He's actually wrong, it's not really like that, at all.

So it was meant sarcastic?

 

[Easy_D]

So it was meant sarcastic?

I think so yes. But for plot reasons I wont explain what's wrong with it, needless to say it's not really spoilers.

 

[SuicidalSteve]

Durance
had a 15 minute tale to tell that was symphonic

Utterly amazing

 

[Novum_Veritas]

I think so yes. But for plot reasons I wont explain what's wrong with it, needless to say it's not really spoilers.

I see, well it sounded weird anyhow, but good to know it isn't even true.

 

[Durante]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

(By the way, if my tag gets changed again, the one wish I have is for it to have correct capitalization. That small "h" at the start combined with the period at the end has been driving me nuts since the last change)

 

[Novum_Veritas]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

LOL

 

[Easy_D]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

so 22 minutes in total? :lol Wow. The hourly rates at the studio who ported it must be insane :lol

Edit: Durante I wasn't aware that you had years of experience working on PS3 ports?

 

[RGamer2009]

Durante you are amazing. They should call you the Port Wizard!!

 

[LiK]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

HAHAHA

 

[GhostTrick]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

Eh, 8 minutes is a lot. They didn't bother fuckin start the game and QA different languages. Which... takes 1 minute just to boot the freakin game.

so 22 minutes in total? :lol Wow. The hourly rates at the studio who ported it must be insane :lol

That freakin sucks. Even if they were paying some expensive programmer at a 30€ per hour rate... it would've taken 15€ to fix that. Can you just imagine ? 15€ to fix the game and avoid all the bad reputation. Avoid all the missing sales for 15€. Whoever was in charge of this should be fired. I mean it. Because it's not even a case of "it's too expensive to do".

 

[Easy_D]

Eh, 8 minutes is a lot. They didn't bother fuckin start the game and QA different languages. Which... takes 1 minute just to boot the freakin game.

And if they're on Windows 7 it took several minutes just to open some menus

 

[Crosseyes]

Lmao which first day intern did they get to put this together for his first week project.

 

[Kraftwerk]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

(By the way, if my tag gets changed again, the one wish I have is for it to have correct capitalization. That small "h" at the start combined with the period at the end has been driving me nuts since the last change)

Im fucking done.

jesus

 

[LiK]

Amazing new tag Durante.

 

[Xenus]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

(By the way, if my tag gets changed again, the one wish I have is for it to have correct capitalization. That small "h" at the start combined with the period at the end has been driving me nuts since the last change)

Lol you should seriously consider selling your services to port teams. Minimum fee of 200 dollars plus 100 an hour after the first hour.

 

[Levyne]

the tag, :lol

 

[JaseC]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

(By the way, if my tag gets changed again, the one wish I have is for it to have correct capitalization. That small "h" at the start combined with the period at the end has been driving me nuts since the last change)

You can ask an admin to change it.

Edit: Never mind. But it should be "Durante's Drive-through PC Port Fixes" given it's a business name.

 

[Parsnip]

long wa's are the best.

edit: Ah, they changed it again.

 

[Novum_Veritas]

This new tag is hilarious, but so damn true.

 

[YianGaruga]

Great tag

★★★★★

 

[Easy_D]

This was worth it just for that fucking tag.

 

[GhostTrick]

I was wrong about the videos.

That was closer to 8 minutes than 15.

(By the way, if my tag gets changed again, the one wish I have is for it to have correct capitalization. That small "h" at the start combined with the period at the end has been driving me nuts since the last change)

One day, your tag will take a whole page.

 

[Kraftwerk]

So Mamosas are the secret to Durante's powers.

 

[Novum_Veritas]

I need this manifesto in my life now