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The Neogaf Poetry Corner - Challenge# 34: Fear ( + Lyric Poetry *To Accompaniment).

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I

iavi

Member
*Credit goes to Neutrality who won the last challenge with one super dashing piece. Congrats!

The NeoGAF Poetry Corner - Challenge #: 34

*Banner coming soon~ish

Theme: Fear.

Interpret as you wish.


Secondary Objective: Lyric poetry (*To accompaniment--explained in section: [Poetry Slam])

types-of-poetry said:
Lyric Poetry consists of a poem, such as a sonnet or an ode, that expresses the thoughts and feelings of the poet. The term lyric is now commonly referred to as the words to a song. Lyric poetry does not tell a story which portrays characters and actions. The lyric poet addresses the reader directly, portraying his or her own feeling, state of mind, and perceptions.
Click to expand...

[More at the Wiki]

Optional Bonus Objective; Poetry Slam

Perform your poetry, capture it on an audio file and upload it. Post it alongside your text version; however, it will not inform any element of judgement in voting. (See: http://soundcloud.com/ and http://hulkshare.com/)

*To accompaniment - Neutrality wanted to do something that expanded upon the premise of the poetry slam, this here is the best I can think up: Rather than do a plain-ol-take on the mic, use a fitting backing track. If you're a singer, let us hear you, songbird...Or, in shorter words, make it a song.

Poetry thread Rules version 1.2:
1. This thread is not merely for winning or losing, but for critiquing and improving your own craft.
2. This poetry thread 'contest' will end on a Friday, and voting will last until Sunday at midnight. You cannot win unless you vote. Although you don't have to submit

a piece to vote.
3. The winner must then provide the next challenge theme for the following two week period. Some weeks like during E3, this may not be possible, so we will have an

interim one week period until normality is resumed. As a general rule, we like to keep this on the alternate week to the Creative Writing Thread.
4. There are no word count limits, make it as long or as short as you want.
5. Optional secondary objectives are not mandatory, you can include them or not.
6. Further addition to rule five: you can also try the secondary objective as a secondary piece. Just make sure you label it as such.
7. Vote for your favourite poems. Voters should award first, second and third places to their favourite three poems. Don't vote for the same author twice. And watch

out for pieces that are labeled ineligible - comments on these pieces labelled as such are welcome but you just can't vote for them. Incidentally, feel free to vote

even if you haven't submitted a piece - the more the merrier :)
8. During the count, First place is allocated three points. Second place is allocated two points. And third place is allocated one point.
9. In the event of a tie, the tally will be counted again with first place being allocated three and half points. If it isn't resolved then, it will be up to the OP

(most likely the previous winner) to decide to how to go about things.
10. Winner gets a round of applause and will have the records stating it as such. After which Rule 3 is in effect and we start a new thread.

Submission Deadline: (PST)

--[FRIDAY, SEP 16, 11:59PM]


Voting Deadline: (PST)

--[SUNDAY, SEPT 18, 11:59PM]

*As usual, a big shoutout to Bootaay for maintaing the templates, and making everybody's lives that much easier. It's a tremendous help.
---

The NeoGAF Poetry Society: Previous Challenges:

Poetry Challenge #01: Reflection
Poetry Challenge #02: Making the Blind See (+ 5W poems)
Poetry Challenge #03: Interior (+ Incorporate a song or album title)
Poetry Challenge #04: History (+ Dream Song poems)
Poetry Challenge #05: A View From Afar or Within (+ Clerihew poems)
Poetry Challenge #06: The Surreal and the Fantastical (+ Haikus)
Poetry Challenge #07: Expectations versus Reality (+ Ode)
Poetry Challenge #08: Mirror's Edge (+ Rhymes)
Poetry Challenge #09: Look on the Bright Side (+ poem must end with _________________ as it's last line)
Poetry Challenge #10: Obsolete (+ Ink)
Poetry Challenge #11: Pride (+ Kanye West)
Poetry Challenge #12: Passing By (+ Allegory)
Poetry Challenge #13: Take this Society (+ Ballards)
Poetry Challenge #14: The Dark (+ Add Zombies to taste)
Poetry Challenge #15: The Great Winter (+ Elegy)
Poetry Challenge #16: What Nature Reclaims (+ Lay)
Poetry Challenge #17: Storm Clouds Rising (+ First Person)
Poetry Challenge #18: The Phoenix (+ Enjambment)
Poetry Challenge #19: Psychopomps (+ Assonance)
Poetry Challenge #20: Death in the Family (+ Limericks)
Poetry Challenge #21: A Night on the Town (+ Didactic Poems)
Poetry Challenge #22: A Letter to the World (+ Inside Outside Poetry)
Poetry Challenge #23: The Blues
Poetry Challenge #24: Space, Above & Beyond (+ Prose Poetry)
Poetry Challenge #25: Futurism (+ Avoid Technology)
Poetry Challenge #26: Prove you Exist (+ Lyrical Poetry)
Poetry Challenge #27: Love, Happiness, Peace, Summer & Pixar! (+ Couplets)
Poetry Challenge #28: Dying Earth (+ Blank Verse)
Poetry Challenge #29: War (+ Narrative/Epic Poems)
Poetry Challenge #30: Dreams (+ the return of First Person)
Poetry Challenge #31: At Gunpoint (+ Epic Poetry/Broetry)
Poetry Challenge #32: Two Sides of an Epic Coin Toss (+ Metre & Rhythm)
Poetry Challenge #33: Lust (+ Poetry Slam)
 
I

iavi

Member
The NeoGAF Poetry Society: Alumni's Archive

ulMAd.png


 
I

iavi

Member
* Alumni's Archive- Cont:

 
A

Ashes

Banned
I want to write something epic; but something also modest and cool. Something that fuses together old with new. The hard thing would be to make it applicable to a whole array of situations; from battlefield blues to walking up to a girl you like.

I think this going to be tough; very easy to fuck up, but its not called a challenge for nothing. Excellent theme.
 
I

iavi

Member
I've got a few tracks in mind that I'm going to do this challenge to. Picking that one--or two-- has been a bit of a... bigger challenge. I wanna do them all!
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Walk Not Alone

Fear, fear is the night in the heart of a coward;
It took an age, but I realised, the sun lies deep in our stomachs.

When the drum beats, and the wars begin,
And the river of blood precipitates a sanguine grin,
I am one of you, brother, friend, or sister, I too am only human.

I know, in your pits, what you are feeling, I too hear death's bell;
But we are not ill equipped soldiers today; we are not merely 'brave',
Come, sit with me, together we shall take this carriage into hell.
 
B

British Monsoon

Member
A string of tangled memories
assailed his fractured mind.
Sights and sounds and places
from many a cold and wretched
dream wracked night-time,
reflected darkly, cruelly,
in the scene that unfolded
before his blood marred vision.
He had dreaded this moment,
that always palpable fear
itching at his brain
in dull and lonely moments,
giving grim voice
to the cracks and flaws
in the warm and sanguine façade
he presented to the world.
But now the moment had arrived,
he felt strangely calm,
unnervingly curious
and even a little excited
as he stared into the reaper's maw,
snatching insatiably at his soul.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Well, I guess that means sex sells, and fear doesn't? ;/

I'll put up my secondary, and I'll leave it to the op to decide what to do...
 
A

Ashes

Banned
The unkempt poet on Old Holloway road.

I fear the truth,
just as you do,
the things I have done,
I cannot undo;
the things I am not,
they will find the truth.

At least, in my defence,
let me say this,
I sought to speak the truth;
perhaps not my own,
but of other's plight,
I tried to bring to light.

Sometimes, I like to play around,
watch the words dance hand in hand,
at other times, I simply forget to write 'impressively',
or forgo it completely,
I try to build a pretty picture,
though not bereft of meaning,
inspired by those before me,
and the friends around.

Poetry for me, to tell you the truth,
is a person's captured thoughts;
it is their attempt, sometimes,
to tell an engaging story,
to entertain you too.

I fail though,
for the best of the lot
are those that not only contain a grain of truth,
prose that can make the blind see,
but also where the poet is invisible,
where you and I are inseparable,
like John Keats' Trust,
or Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata,
where inspiration is at the heart of it,
sage and skill, between the ears,
and a mastery of an art,
that has eased their passage to stars far and wide.
 
I

iavi

Member
Sorry guys, it's been in the back of my mind all week, but I've been swamped with class work. It's really cut down on the amount of time I'm in the mindset to get stuff out. I'll try to get something in before the close, but I can't make ay promises this time around :(.
 
B

British Monsoon

Member
When the dark encroaches tight
and the fog obscures all sight,
wander on through the night
following the pale moon’s light.
Don’t tarry, my little one,
or before the night is done,
the devil will have his fun,
and you won’t wake to see the sun.
So trudge on through the night,
the fear gripping like a vice,
constricting your burning lungs
compelling you to succumb.
Do not tarry, my little one,
or before the night is done,
the devil will have had his fun
and you won’t ever wake to see the sun.
 
T

Tim the Wiz

Banned
Miri said:
Sorry guys, it's been in the back of my mind all week, but I've been swamped with class work. It's really cut down on the amount of time I'm in the mindset to get stuff out. I'll try to get something in before the close, but I can't make ay promises this time around :(.
Click to expand...

Yeah, not going to make it either. Broetry fail. :(
 
I

iavi

Member
Votes:

1. Ashes - The Unkempt Poet on old Holloway Road - I felt like this was you really telling a bit of your own story, and that genuine sense of honesty really connected with me.
2. Bootaaay - Unknown - This one was as good as ever in its pacing, and detail, but the subject as a whole was quite tired, imo.


It's disappointing to see the thread have such a bad week, especially when I myself was part of the problem and all, but eh... It'll be back in full force next challenge, I'm sure.

total fake edit: also, Ashes, you cheat! You're supposed to voice the poem! I'll let it slide this time since the song choice matched so well, and I really can't talk when I turned nothing in.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
I like both of your poems Bootaaay, but I prefer the first; it's darker, and more mysterious than the second, which had the better rhythm and story.

1. Bootaaay - Unknown
 
A

AnkitT

Member
Sorry guys for not entering. I had an outlined which stared at me right through the deadline. Obviously, nothing came of it. So let's have a go at voting, shall we?


Ashes1396 (Walk Not Alone) - I loved how the words are compelling the reader to follow the voice right into hell. Bravery as an antidote to fear is resonant throughout.

Bootaaay (Unknown) - The way you describe fear and the calm before the end really makes this one. The ending lines are nice!

Sidenote: I like how the word sanguine appears in both of the above poems lol.

Ashes1396 (The unkempt poet on Old Holloway road) - Feels like a confessional, which isn't a bad thing really. There's an earnestness to it that you can't help but empathize with.

Bootaaay (Wake to See the Sun) - I'd like to imagine that there's an elder gentleman trying to scare the child by describing to him the ways in which fear will physically manifest the kid. Of course, i'm just messing around here, but it was a good ride, and "you won’t wake to see the sun" conveys fear quite well.

Votes:
1. Ashes1396 (Walk Not Alone)
2. Bootaaay (Unknown)
 
N

Neutrality

Member
I was in a aeroplane o'er the sea as this was all going on.
I'm sorry.

I think you two should just collaborate on the next topic.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Unfortunately, I have to work the night. Plus, Bootaaay is ahead on points now, so we should call it fairly in his favour.

I think simplicity is best, one op, one winner etc... going back and forth is unnecessary friction.

The faster we swim out of these waters the better! :p
 
B

British Monsoon

Member
1. Walk Not Alone - I really liked both your pieces this week, but felt that this one was more coherent in it's message and tone. I love some of the language like 'blood precipitates a sanguine grin' and the ending line is just perfect. I really enjoyed the Unkempt Poet too, the last two paragraphs are so fucking strong I really had a difficult time choosing between the pieces. Great stuff man.

This was a weird challenge - I don't know why the simple concept of fear was quite so hard to write about, I think I spent too much time trying to fit words to song (and ultimately failing, I suck at vocal melodies). But, surprisingly, inspiration struck long after the deadline passed. I just finished this piece and I'm quite happy with how it turned out, especially as it's more personal than most of my poems;

I guess I was afraid to see you so frail,
when before your effervescent smile
and breezy laugh lit my world.
If there’s one thing I regret,
it’s not being there when you passed.
Not holding your hand and saying goodbye,
as the light dulled in your eyes.
Did you ask after me, I wonder?
Or did you understand my fear
that seems so insignificant and tiny
with the passage of the years.
What is fear compared to a final moment shared?
But please know, it’s not that I didn’t care.
I love you and always will
and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
You vote doesn't count Bootaaay... it's too late. You should had voted on time, like we did. :)

make the next theme good buddy. And actually have a banner!!!!

Please.

Woh... I might have to try spoiler tagged poems some time in the future maybe...
 
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