well, time for a little update
yesterday i came out to my parents, and they were extremely supportive and upset that I never came out to them sooner, that I shouldn't have kept it a secret for so long and it just felt so good. Not long after, my two brothers were told the news, and also my grandparents. Every single one of them were completely fine with it and don't view me any different because of the fact, it's truly what i always wanted!
so running off of this new found pride, i found the courage to come out on facebook, with a moderately sized post to shortly explain what has been going on, and in less than an hour i garnered up around 150 likes and tons of comments and messages showing me their support for me from my high school. it was truly surreal, and i was so overwhelmed by all the love that i just had to go to bed, it was pretty difficult to take in all at once. i've never felt so... happy, i literally feel lighter today, as if there has been tons and tons of emotional baggage just weighing me down all these years, it's so peculiar!
the likes and comments just continue to trickle in every now and then, and i'm just... astonished, i'm so happy that i made the decision!