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Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!

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7

7threst

Member
Hm, I ordered my first Monster Hunter-game to play with GayGAF, turns out it's region locked :(
Meh :(

Also: yeah, unbanned!

I will never act stupid again and won't get banned. I hope :)
 
S

Sagitario

Member
7threst said:
Hm, I ordered my first Monster Hunter-game to play with GayGAF, turns out it's region locked :(
Meh :(

Also: yeah, unbanned!

I will never act stupid again and won't get banned. I hope :)
Click to expand...

Yep. I was looking forward to playing with some Europeans :(

Why were you banned?
 
7

7threst

Member
Sagitario said:
Yep. I was looking forward to playing with some Europeans :(

Why were you banned?
Click to expand...

I got in an argument with Ldawg in the Dutch GAF topic. I knew him from another forum and he and I.. don't really click. He just bashes everything and everybody with some kind of really mean sarcasm and that really gets to me, so I got into an argument with him which I started. So the ban was entirely my fault. But I make sure that won't happen again :)

Btw, I saw you added me on WiiU, cool! :)
 
N

nickcv

Member
GothPunk said:
Uh oh, now I feel bad for asking! Well good luck with it anyways. :)
Click to expand...

oh don't worry, i actually appreciated your interest!

Henchmen21 said:
Ugh... reading all these posts about open relationships and I can't even get one :(

Henchmen am sad now.
Click to expand...

i don't know if this is going to make you feel better, but i've been just sleeping around for years without any commitment until i met my bf and this august we are going to celebrate our 5th anniversary. you'll find the right boy for you when it's time, don't worry and just have fun in the meanwhile.

Do not force yourself into a relationship just for the sake of it!

7threst said:
Hm, I ordered my first Monster Hunter-game to play with GayGAF, turns out it's region locked :(
Meh :(

Also: yeah, unbanned!

I will never act stupid again and won't get banned. I hope :)
Click to expand...

I'm european and i'm definitely going to buy MH ultimate, if you want someone to play it with i'm available =P
 
O

Ollie Pooch

In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
btkadams said:
good points! i definitely appreciate it, as i've never been the open relationship type. i feel like i might as well try it out to see how it works htough.

the veto rule actually came up as i voiced my anxiety over him sleeping with someone repeatedly and having it end up like he has two boyfriends. he insists it won't happen and will be honest with me.

he also hasn't had someone sleep in his bed since 2005 (aside from me over the last 5 months), so i'm most definitely sure he won't be doing that.



edit: hmm... i'm starting to wonder if the don't ask don't tell rule is a good idea. i thought it would be good so i wouldn't have to think about what he's doing, but i fear my imagination will run wild if i don't know.
Click to expand...
I'd be wary of a 'don't ask, don't tell' situation. I always tell my bf when stuff comes up.
And yes hes seen video
 
N

nickcv

Member
Ollie Pooch said:
I'd be wary of a 'don't ask, don't tell' situation. I always tell my bf when stuff comes up.
And yes hes seen video
Click to expand...

i do agree, the don't ask don't tell rule makes it look like you should hide something from your partner...

but the real question is what kind of video has he seen Ollie? =P
 
O

Ollie Pooch

In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
nickcv said:
i do agree, the don't ask don't tell rule makes it look like you should hide something from your partner...

but the real question is what kind of video has he seen Ollie? =P
Click to expand...
Yeah, I think it's unnecessary - its one of those situations where once you haven't told him one time, it turns into a few and noone's keeping tabs on what the other is doing anymore. Depends how much you care about that stuff, I think. Our situation has kind of moved to one where it's ok to do that stuff more when one of us is away - we both travel a bit. I still always tell him.
 
D

Dead Man

Member
So... this may be old news, but I just found out. Everybody knows Victor Garber, excellent character actor.

victor-garber-04.jpg


Pleasantly plain, probably a nice fellow, but not making my panties moist.

His partner of 13 years, Rainer Andreesen:

enhanced-buzz-10097-1358265615-7.jpg


enhanced-buzz-30055-1358267026-5.jpg


enhanced-buzz-19435-1358266044-4.jpg


He's done quite well for himself.
 
S

Sagitario

Member
Something kind of... strange happened today.

I have had straight male friends telling me how much they care about our friendship, a couple of them saying "I love you", of course, all in a bonding non-gay way and because the place and situation led to it.

Well, today after work I gave a lift home to a [straight] friend, and just before we got to his house he said, out of nowhere (we were talking about work and people): "You make me so happy!"

I immediately felt touched by that comment. I asked him why/how so. He said: "You are one of the nicest people I know. You are such a kind person to me and you just make me happy".

That was probably the nicest thing someone has ever told me. I don't even remember exactly what I said after that (or how I reacted) because I was practically speechless and overwhelmed. This made my day
ihIHbJZ.gif
.

Have you ever had this kind of corny [but good] comments or situations with other male friends (straight or without absolutely any kind of romantic feelings involved)?




7threst said:
Btw, I saw you added me on WiiU, cool! :)
Click to expand...
:)
 
L

LAtoDC

Neo Member
So my boyfriend has finally moved back into town with me (after completing his last semester of school) and has been looking for a job. He has had some pretty good leads but was already getting discouraged after only three weeks. After looking at some part time work, he just landed a gig at a gay bar/diner as a waiter. I'm happy he got the gig but I'm less then enthusiastic about the place where he'll be working. We are in a committed relationship and I love him to death, but I can't imagine the type of guys that he'll be surrounded by. Any thoughts guys?
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
DR2K said:
No one likes honesty or criticism, even when they say they do. Lesson learned the hard way, lol.
Click to expand...

Effectively no one. Rationally speaking if people didn't have egos we would all be thankful for criticism, even if put harshly, because it would give us a perspective into our flaws that we didn't have before. I'm sure there are people who see it that way, but neither one of us is very likely to meet such a person. Still, people with a talent for diplomacy can more often than not soothe egos at the same time that they say something that could be hurtful. It's worth considering that you may not have been as tactful as you thought.
 
DR2K

DR2K

Banned
umop_3pisdn said:
Effectively no one. Rationally speaking if people didn't have egos we would all be thankful for criticism, even if put harshly, because it would give us a perspective into our flaws that we didn't have before. I'm sure there are people who see it that way, but neither one of us is very likely to meet such a person. Still, people with a talent for diplomacy can more often than not soothe egos at the same time that they say something that could be hurtful. It's worth considering that you may not have been as tactful as you thought.
Click to expand...

Possibly, I'm not really good at all the interpersonal affections. But I always let a guy know up front about my way of communicating. I didn't say anything mean spirited, just let him know how I was feeling about a situation and I guess I pushed a button I wasn't aware of.
 
A

Alcoori

Member
So I had a game night at my place tonight. Among the guests were the guy I'm secretly in love with, another guy I think is really hot and wouldn't mind have sex with, AND the guy who's into the guy I wouldn't mind have sex with and who kept making out with the sexy guy I wouldn't mind having sex with. I create my own drama.
I tried to let the guy I'm in love with know he could stay here instead of going all the way back to Brooklyn, but, alas, to no avail.
Everyone left and I'm just here with my boner, ugh. I wish I had the balls to be completely direct with my crush. We flirt back and forth but nothing happened yet and it's driving me insane.
 
I

_Isaac

Member
Alcoori said:
So I had a game night at my place tonight. Among the guests were the guy I'm secretly in love with, another guy I think is really hot and wouldn't mind have sex with, AND the guy who's into the guy I wouldn't mind have sex with. I create my own drama.
I tried to let my crush know he could stay here instead of going all the way back to Brooklyn, but, alas, to no avail.
Everyone left and I'm just here with my boner,
Click to expand...

Love? Damn. Is he gay or bi?
 
N

Natetan

Member
Sagitario said:
Something kind of... strange happened today.

I have had straight male friends telling me how much they care about our friendship, a couple of them saying "I love you", of course, all in a bonding non-gay way and because the place and situation led to it.

Well, today after work I gave a lift home to a [straight] friend, and just before we got to his house he said, out of nowhere (we were talking about work and people): "You make me so happy!"

I immediately felt touched by that comment. I asked him why/how so. He said: "You are one of the nicest people I know. You are such a kind person to me and you just make me happy".

That was probably the nicest thing someone has ever told me. I don't even remember exactly what I said after that (or how I reacted) because I was practically speechless and overwhelmed. This made my day
ihIHbJZ.gif
.

Have you ever had this kind of corny [but good] comments or situations with other male friends (straight or without absolutely any kind of romantic feelings involved)?



:)
Click to expand...


In high school one of my good male friends used to say he wished he could find a girl like me. I wasn't technically gay then, so I wonder if he would have said that knowing I was gay.

But what you described is sort if the ideal I could expect from my straight male friends. That just feel comfortable around me to say something like that and not worry that I or anybody else would misinterpret what they are saying.
 
N

nickcv

Member
Natetan said:
In high school one of my good male friends used to say he wished he could find a girl like me. I wasn't technically gay then, so I wonder if he would have said that knowing I was gay.

But what you described is sort if the ideal I could expect from my straight male friends. That just feel comfortable around me to say something like that and not worry that I or anybody else would misinterpret what they are saying.
Click to expand...

It's probably a cultural thing, but I'd be reading so much into both things... Those are not the kind of things we say to friends here... I'd be definitely be thinking that he's hitting on me
 
S

Sagitario

Member
hateradio said:
Ed's nice sometimes . . .
Click to expand...
Fixed for old times' sake.



Dany M said:
He is probably the nicest gay gaffer.
3AQmK.gif
Click to expand...
Mr_Zombie said:
Well, he is right :)
Click to expand...
Hardly, but thanks! <3
RyHtK1q.png

I really appreciate it :)



DR2K said:
Until you talk about the inevitable Tales of Vesperia for PS3 US announcement.
Click to expand...
Oh, you! :b



nickcv said:
It's probably a cultural thing, but I'd be reading so much into both things... Those are not the kind of things we say to friends here... I'd be definitely be thinking that he's hitting on me
Click to expand...
It definitely isn't a common thing here either, IMO.
On previous occasions, the situation and talk lent themselves to show or say those things.
This time, it was out of the blue and that's why it was strange to me. It definitely feels awesome knowing that you can have that effect on someone (though it's involuntary, honestly... I am the same way with most of my friends, I mean... I treat them equally, or at least I try).


Besides, someone hitting on me would be the last thing I would be thinking... it wouldn't even pass through my head (in Natetan's case, it does sound a little suspicious :b)
 
N

nickcv

Member
Sagitario said:
It definitely isn't a common thing here either, IMO.
On previous occasions, the situation and talk lent themselves to show or say those things.
This time, it was out of the blue and that's why it was strange to me. It definitely feels awesome knowing that you can have that effect on someone (though it's involuntary, honestly... I am the same way with most of my friends, I mean... I treat them equally, or at least I try).


Besides, someone hitting on me would be the last thing I would be thinking... it wouldn't even pass through my head (in Natetan's case, it does sound a little suspicious :b)
Click to expand...

don't push yourself down, man!
confidence!
 
I

_Isaac

Member
Sagitario said:
Fixed for old times' sake.

Hardly, but thanks! <3
RyHtK1q.png

I really appreciate it :)

Oh, you! :b


It definitely isn't a common thing here either, IMO.
On previous occasions, the situation and talk lent themselves to show or say those things.
This time, it was out of the blue and that's why it was strange to me. It definitely feels awesome knowing that you can have that effect on someone (though it's involuntary, honestly... I am the same way with most of my friends, I mean... I treat them equally, or at least I try).


Besides, someone hitting on me would be the last thing I would be thinking... it wouldn't even pass through my head (in Natetan's case, it does sound a little suspicious :b)
Click to expand...

It's cool knowing you have that effect on someone. This may not be EXACTLY related, but it's also weird when you see how you influence people. When you see their behavior changing because you're in their life or when you see them making huge decisions and knowing that you had some influence in that decision. It freaks me out. It's like being reminded that I'm not invisible. I don't know. You just make me think about that all of a sudden.
 
R

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
Alcoori said:
He's very much gay and one of my closest friends. I feel like we flirt a lot but sometimes I wonder if he takes it as a banter or just chooses to ignore it.
He gives the best hugs, ugh.
Click to expand...

Next time he gives you a hug, shove your hand down his pants and see how he reacts.
 
N

Natetan

Member
nickcv said:
It's probably a cultural thing, but I'd be reading so much into both things... Those are not the kind of things we say to friends here... I'd be definitely be thinking that he's hitting on me
Click to expand...

Ah nah I never took it that way. I'd known this guy since preschool, and wasn't remotely attracted to him physically. His friendship was important to me though.
 
D

Dead Man

Member
Just came across this and thought it was worth a read, maybe a bit to politicky for some of you :)

http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/02/how-white-queers-can-be-more-inclusive-of-queer-poc/
As a minority group that regularly battles prejudice, violence, and ignorance from governments, hate groups, and the like, LGBTQ people know what it’s like to be discriminated against.

That’s why the gay community tends to pride itself on being anti-discriminatory and accepting of people from all walks of life.

Unfortunately, the gay community is not devoid of casual racism. Even though, in theory, people should know better, certain forms of racism in the LGBTQ community have become so normalized that they get brushed off as minor.

Before I go on, let me define the kind of racism I’m talking about to avoid confusion. Racism, in an institutional sense, is race-based discrimination from a position of power or privilege.

This means that a gay person with white privilege can be racist toward gay people of color and people of color in general.

I’m not talking about mustache twirling, KKK-grade, Hitler level racism that’s so obvious anyone with any sense of human decency would banish it from their mind.

I’m talking about the “little” things, like the fetishization of black men by gay white men, the stigmatization of Asian men by gay men of other races, mainstream LGBTQ campaigns with little racial awareness, and racial “preferences” that can be innocuous, but at times reflect an underlying prejudice.

As normalized as they are, they suck for LGBTQ people of color who are not well represented in either their own racial communities or the mainstream LGBTQ community.

The lack of acceptance from either group puts a strain on how safe LGBTQ people of color feel in a lot of the spaces they occupy.

So if you’re a white and LGBTQ and you want to make sure that LGBTQ spaces are as safe and inclusive for everyone as possible, here are some steps you can take to support people of color and be more racially aware.

1. Be Aware of Intersectionality

Be aware that your experience of being LGBTQ and white is not representative of being lesbian and Asian or gay and latin@, or queer and black.

Awareness of intersectionality means recognizing that LGBTQ people of color can be discriminated against not as people of color or as LGBTQ people, but as both simultaneously.

For example, if you’re a gay white woman and you’re already aware of how your gender and sexuality intersect, remember that race is yet another intersection, and not a negligible one. In most cases race is highly visible, apparent from birth, and connected to cultural identity and family affiliation.

2. Don’t Think That Being LGBTQ Lets You Off the Hook for Being Racist

Keeping intersectionality in mind, understand that just because you’ve faced discrimination doesn’t mean you understand every form of discrimination or are immune from being discriminatory yourself.

We all have some form of privilege, and acknowledging your privilege when it comes to race means acknowledging the unconscious ways in which you can also be racist.

In the past, when I called out someone (who happened to be gay) for being racially oblivious, his response was that, as a gay person, he can understand what it’s like to be discriminated against for being black.

Here’s why I disagree with a statement like that: if a person who has directly experienced racism is telling you that you’re being racially oblivious and you dismiss everything they say because “I’ve been discriminated against too,” you’re devaluing the experiences of people of color just as much as the institutions that continue to exclude them.

When LGBTQ people of color call out other people in the community for being racist, they don’t want you to tear your clothes apart and fall to your knees weeping with white guilt.

What they want you to do is check yourself, listen to what they have to say, and be more aware of experiences besides your own.

Seeing casual racism in the LGBTQ community isn’t about demonizing white people or making people paranoid about causing offense.

It’s about making sure we’re all self-aware enough to check our cultural blind spots and truly listen to and value other people’s experiences.

3. Know Casual Racism When You See It

What does casual racism look like in LGBTQ spaces? A lot like casual racism everywhere else.

Casual racism thinks mixed race people are “exotic,” penis size is determined by race according to “some studies” that probably don’t exist, black women are aggressive, and just about every other common racial stereotype under the sun.

Really, stereotypes fuel casual racism in all its forms.

Casual racism also thinks that LGBTQ people have transcended all responsibility for dealing with racial issues.

For example, if you’re a queer person of color who wants to vocalize a racial concern in a predominantly white queer space and casual racism rears its head, you could be accused of being divisive (extra irony points if you were pointing out divisiveness that actually exists).

Sometimes casual racism masquerades as inclusion or open mindedness. For example, there are some gay people who go out of their way to date someone of another race just to say they’ve done it.

Such gays then receive the Congratulatory Cookie of Open Mindedness from people of color for letting us sleep with them.

But not really, because dating someone because of their race is as ridiculous as rejecting someone because of their race.

The same applies to predominately white gay groups that go out of their way to snag token people of color (oblivious to the fact that these spaces don’t always feel inclusive to the people of color in question).

Tokenism may seem progressive on its surface, but it’s really just another form of othering.

So if you see casual racism, remember it. And talk about it.

Notice if you’re ever guilty of it and, if you are, take responsibility for it.

I would say explain it to other white LGBTQ people, but it’s frustrating when it takes a white person saying the same thing people of color have been saying for ages to convince other white people to change their actions.

Instead, tell them to take the race related concerns of LGBTQ people of color seriously – as in listen to us.

As LGBTQ people, we get silenced all the time, told we’re too sensitive, told not to flaunt our sexuality.

Sexual minorities of color can find themselves silenced further when their concerns about race are dismissed by the predominantly white, mainstream LGBTQ community. Let’s keep working to change that.
Click to expand...
 
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