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The NeoGAF Poetry Corner - Challenge #48: Isolation

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AnkitT

Member
The NeoGAF Poetry Corner - Challenge #48: Isolation

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Theme: Isolation

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
-Orson Welles

Isolation, that quiet down time we all seem to crave, but never in excesses. Some believe that isolation breeds creativity, others hatred and intolerance. What is it about being alone with yourself that is so divisive?

Interpret the theme as you see fit.

Optional Secondary Objective: Rhyme

Use rhyming in your poetry in any manner you see fit.

---

Submission Deadline; (PST)

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Voting Deadline; (PST)

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Poetry Thread Rules 2.0

For poets entering:

  • You are allowed one entry based on the theme; and an optional second entry, if it meets the secondary objective.
  • There are no word counts. Interpret the theme as you wish.
  • If you're a brave soul, there is a 'super secret' optional objective: performing the poem. Don't worry - we will only judge your official entry (the written version). Try it out. Poetry Slams are always cool. ;)
For voters:

  • You can vote even if you haven't posted a poem.
  • Vote for your three favourite poems. But remember that:
    • you can't vote for your self
    • you can't pick two poems from the same author
    • you can't vote for an entry labelled 'ineligible'
  • You cannot win unless you vote.
Competition:

  • The contest runs for two weeks.
  • The deadline is on the last Friday. Once the final entry list is up, the voting begins; it finishes at the end of the weekend.
  • How we count the votes:
    • 1st place is allocated 3 pts; 2nd is allocated 2pts; 3rd is allocated 1pt
    • If there is no outright winner, we add half a point to 1st place, so that the person with the most first place votes win. If we still don't have a winner, we then leave it up to the op to decide how to best go about it; or to choose the outright winner
  • The winner gets a round of applause. They are then in charge of the new thread. If you can't make a new thread, just ask somebody in the current thread, and they might do it for you.
General:

  • This thread is not merely for winning or losing, but for critiquing and improving your own craft.
  • We like to keep the finale on the alternative week to its sister thread: the creative writing thread. Every so often, we get interrupted, such as during E3, and/or Nanowrimo.
  • The archives and the op templates are managed by Bootaaay. If you have a question about it, you can pm him.
  • A big thank you to him, and everybody else who manages the thread week in and week out. We would be worse off without them.
  • Everybody is welcome to enjoy the poetry on offer, or just vote, or just critique.



The NeoGAF Poetry Society: Previous Challenges:

Poetry Challenge #01: Reflection
Poetry Challenge #02: Making the Blind See (+ 5W poems)
Poetry Challenge #03: Interior (+ Incorporate a song or album title)
Poetry Challenge #04: History (+ Dream Song poems)
Poetry Challenge #05: A View From Afar or Within (+ Clerihew poems)
Poetry Challenge #06: The Surreal and the Fantastical (+ Haikus)
Poetry Challenge #07: Expectations versus Reality (+ Ode)
Poetry Challenge #08: Mirror's Edge (+ Rhymes)
Poetry Challenge #09: Look on the Bright Side (+ poem must end with _________________ as it's last line)
Poetry Challenge #10: Obsolete (+ Ink)
Poetry Challenge #11: Pride (+ Kanye West)
Poetry Challenge #12: Passing By (+ Allegory)
Poetry Challenge #13: Take this Society (+ Ballards)
Poetry Challenge #14: The Dark (+ Add Zombies to taste)
Poetry Challenge #15: The Great Winter (+ Elegy)
Poetry Challenge #16: What Nature Reclaims (+ Lay)
Poetry Challenge #17: Storm Clouds Rising (+ First Person)
Poetry Challenge #18: The Phoenix (+ Enjambment)
Poetry Challenge #19: Psychopomps (+ Assonance)
Poetry Challenge #20: Death in the Family (+ Limericks)
Poetry Challenge #21: A Night on the Town (+ Didactic Poems)
Poetry Challenge #22: A Letter to the World (+ Inside Outside Poetry)
Poetry Challenge #23: The Blues
Poetry Challenge #24: Space, Above & Beyond (+ Prose Poetry)
Poetry Challenge #25: Futurism (+ Avoid Technology)
Poetry Challenge #26: Prove you Exist (+ Lyrical Poetry)
Poetry Challenge #27: Love, Happiness, Peace, Summer & Pixar! (+ Couplets)
Poetry Challenge #28: Dying Earth (+ Blank Verse)
Poetry Challenge #29: War (+ Narrative/Epic Poems)
Poetry Challenge #30: Dreams (+ the return of First Person)
Poetry Challenge #31: At Gunpoint (+ Epic Poetry/Broetry)
Poetry Challenge #32: Two Sides of an Epic Coin Toss (+ Metre & Rhythm)
Poetry Challenge #33: Lust (+ Poetry Slam)
Poetry Challenge #34: Fear (+ Lyric Poetry *To Accompaniment)
Poetry Challenge #35: Detachment (+ A return to allegory)
Poetry Challenge #36: Open (+ Throw Paint on the Wall, See What Sticks!)
Poetry Challenge #37: Chained (+ Cinquain poetry)
Poetry Challenge #38: The Human Experience
Poetry Challenge #39: Of Plants & Trees (+ The return of the Limerick)
Poetry Challenge #40: Homelessness (+ Etheree)
Poetry Challenge #41: Escape
Poetry Challenge #42: Eve of Destruction (+ Chōka)
Poetry Challenge #43: A life worth keeping (+ Anger)
Poetry Challenge #44: Out of Reach (+ Storytelling)
Poetry Challenge #45: Grave (+ Alliteration)
Poetry Challenge #46: SteamPunk (+ Sonnets)
Poetry Challenge #47: Brave New World (+ Found Poetry)
 

AnkitT

Member
The NeoGAF Poetry Society: Alumni's Archive

ulMAd.png


 

AnkitT

Member
 

Ashes

Banned
I love the smell of a brand new thread in the morning. Or is that napalm? I can never remember...
 

Red

Member
01101001001000000110000101101101

i walk
talk
like a man.

two feet (one forward, next forward, again),
head turned side to side to scan
rain slicked streets and the fizzing neon glen
of the towering city, home of modern man.

my hat bowed low.
too low
for the bars and patrons and the streets and world to know

that i am the heartless jangling metal man.
i am the man with the guts of steel and lead,
with pipes for arms and tin stilts for legs,
copper fingers and aluminum skin.

but for all my strength i have to hide my metal head
out of fear the city people want me dead.

last time,
(one time)
only time i know,
they told me:

"freak,
move on.
you got a long long way to go.
don't sully here,
bastard child of nature's plan.
it's clear as day
you ain't machine
but you ain't man.

so run,
go on,
run motherfucker run.
your kind's a burden we'd rather not dwell on.
leave our city
leave our kind
go back to the world you left behind,
go back we say,
or we'll make you pay.

on our children's souls
we don't know where to place you.
but by god
by god!
by god we will erase you."


yet my world
my home
is not a place i know.
i was brought here piece by piece so long ago.

i walk
talk
like a man.
i unhuman
unalive, undead.

whatever i've done wrong,
don't forgive me as i go,
because i know what i am,
but your god i'll never know.
 

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
Disconnected Reality

The rules of my forlorn head
The concept an allied heart
One drives my longing need
The other rips it apart

For how long must the stupidity
Of my unaccompanied soul
Divert the logic of my capacity
Away from its ever distancing goal

But in that same facet
Why must my mind resort
To thoughts of being tacit
And find strength as Lonely’s cohort

Foolish concepts are not my aim
Nor is a life of painful isolation
But a distanced flame
Does not kindle solace’s consolation

So my mind is often vindication
But nothing does it ever gain
It never wins kind absolution
Only waves of overlapping strain

I seek not pain on others
My struggles are my own
Even those few I call brothers
Cannot fix my burdensome drone

It’s the journey that aches the most
To find a glowing soul as kind
That would see my fading, tattered ghost
And use their strength to bind

To find a guide in a maze
That seeks to know my quandaries
And set aflame all my craze
And light my dark boundaries

But such a soul I have yet to find
And until their place becomes clear
I trudge down that lonely grind
And my heart and soul disappear
 

Truth101

Banned
I walk the light

Breaking through the shame of night,
I walk the light

Just wandering along this path,
I happen to find myself on
Hoping to find an end tonight

So I wonder why
the light's so dim tonight,
when I see you shine so bright

Just wandering along this path,
I happen to find myself on
Hoping the light lasts the night

Because darling girl I fear the night,
without you by my side

So, why oh why
can't I find an end tonight?

Darling girl, why oh why
Is the world so dark tonight?

Breaking through the shame of night,
I walk the light
 

Red

Member
It's usually not, and then people complain about missing these threads, so idk.
I haven't been participating for too long, but it seems like there is a core group of "usuals," and I expect it will be bumped as they post their entries.
 

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
I haven't been participating for too long, but it seems like there is a core group of "usuals," and I expect it will be bumped as they post their entries.

But there's always room for newcomers; I'm not a "usual," maybe someday.

Plus, entries usually come in sporadic times, even "usuals" might miss the thread.
 

iavi

Member
But there's always room for newcomers; I'm not a "usual," maybe someday.

Plus, entries usually come in sporadic times, even "usuals" might miss the thread.

You're dead on. You'd be surprised at how many people come into each challenge saying that they never noticed the thread, but wished they had. Bumping it's always been appreciated.
 

Grakl

Member
Welcome to the Jungle

No, please don't welcome me to the jungle.
I don't want any part of the thing that you call your 'jungle'.
You got a disease? Well, I believe it,
And I doubt it's something fun to catch.

What, is this a fetish or something?
You want me to bleed? Screaming is alright, but bleeding? Ugh.
It's like I walked in to the hair of a hair metal band
Only to find that the hair is, surprisingly enough, not clean at all.

At a certain point I don't think that you're even trying to come on to me.
You're just soliciting for sex.
That's disgusting.
Get your serpentine away from me.
 

iavi

Member
a town past the sea

From the Isle of Abhor,

A distance far from civil shore,
smoke signals,
with spirals, the ends of exile into view;
For the few who will understand
that on this island, he stands alone, still,
but among abundant flame, and new found eyes,
the commemorative, though painful scent,
the cries--sacrificed wildlife,
freshly cauterized strife,
all with flint and knife,
and peace bound;
towards a town past the sea.

The isle is no more.
 
Alone, the hunter stalks his prey,
through thick drifts of snow,
caught now too far from home
to consider turning back,
as he follows the frozen tracks,
desperate hunger gnawing deep,
all warmth long since seeped
from a body exhausted and worn,
locked in a struggle borne
from a winter that has lingered
as the reaper raises an icy finger,
and at last, the hunter falters,
final moments near, he knows,
life quelled beneath the numbing snow.
 

Ashes

Banned
Pale Under Blue Lights


Black gold adorned doll,
in that figure hugging dress,
why untie my heart,
with cold eyes,
and this unkissed torture,
repaid with dealer's remorse;
your Ghostly presence,
illuminates dark corners,
a halo 'neath club night lights;
and smoky depths draw blinds
upon a paradise lost -
its the hedonistic charm,
unabridged.

Allow the eyes some respite,
bravery is overrated, hide the eyes,
or rather close them,
swallow the insecurities,
sip & unwind.
stifle stresses,
or at least try,
better yet
parcel it up,
send them away,
to the unspoilt countryside.

There is light in this darkness,
swivel the hips,
tear up inside,
yes, I am the weakling,
feigning strength,
drawn from liquid light,
but I am not of the fallen,
the trace of something good,
is instilled deep within;
the well is not run dry.

No, I unintelligent, can't forget,
the memories play,
on walls decked
with blue laser lights,
spinning like a psycho
in the dark.

Open the cellar door,
let out the unkempt animal,
reverse the burial.
Though the wound is raw,
crutches exist,
rest today,
tomorrow lies open to walk again.
 

lopaz

Banned
I look into the future
dust stares back at me

nothing to get by on
not even a dream

I was feeling kinda down so I turned on the TV
saw the pretty faces, looking back at me

and just for half an hour I'm free from guilt

free from pain
free from the curse that blights my name
I don't wanna go back there again

I'm wrapped up warm in a layer of lie
I don't grow old, I never die
damn your eyes, curse the sky

Masturbation leaves me blind
the tv station doesn't lie

but I'm so happy, I could die
slit my throat rip out my eyes

do you ever think of me? no guilt
I feel no pain
desperate and sad but not ashamed
You will come to curse my name

The TV tells me it's okay
so who I am to say it 'aint
It fills me up and keeps me sane

it coulda been, it coulda been, but it's not gonna be,
all my life is stretching out in front of me
with nothing to my name but a bashed up ford

a bad attitude a bad reputation
there's no lighting in my nation
Guess I got to know my STATION
 

Ashes

Banned
Best not quote entire poems. ;p

We'll just have to wait for op. when voting begins, vote for your favourite three, plus hms, :

1,
2,
3,
Hms
 

AnkitT

Member
Is that deadline correct AnkitT? or is dst messing things up?

I think I pushed both deadlines a day forward. If it is alright with everyone, lets keep it that way.

Also, about the bump thing, I don't think anyone would have a problem with frequent bumping. We're not too uptight about that stuff, at least that is what i've been lead to believe lol.
 

noah111

Still Alive
Poem-gaf is quite impressive. I've been trying to do a "The White Man's Burden" poem from the a black man's perspective of the time (i.e. 'Take up the Black Man's burden') but am failing miserably.

Reading through some 'normal' poetry like this to get me in the mood has been helpful.
 

Red

Member
Poem-gaf is quite impressive. I've been trying to do a "The White Man's Burden" poem from the a black man's perspective of the time (i.e. 'Take up the Black Man's burden') but am failing miserably.
That's kind of where I started with my entry. The idea of forced migration or diaspora, and the following discrimination against a repurposed people.
 
following sirens.

I thought today
I'd stop and say
to all you
amplifiers
of nothing
hot air
to cut the shit
write write write
you're all writers
everyone
no one
can go to the lengths
destroy your strength
on her you go south
and lapping
then you'll come in her mouth
write write write
you're all writers
not one of you
could make anybody proud
of these pathetic trials
you put to paper
I'll dine alone
canned beef and tomatos
not answer my phone
nobody calls
have a little whiskey and
beer and type at this machine
and enter this poem
late as usual
 

iavi

Member
Votes!

1. Ashes - Pale Under Blue Lights - "A halo 'neath club night lights"... "A halo 'neath club night lights". Holy shit. That line is inspiring, Ashes, the imagery and subsequent bolstering effect it has on the whole rest of the poem. Absolutely impressive.

2. Crunched - 01101001001000000110000101101101 -

"on our children's souls
we don't know where to place you.
but by god
by god!
by god we will erase you."


I absolutely loved that stanza, its encapsulation of the theme, and contrast. Really, really effective. You've been writing some impressive stuff, Crunched. Great to have another fab poet in the thread.

3. Bootaaay - Hunter - Impeccable imagery; impeccable flow, as usual. Your ability to encapsulate the whole picture with such tact, and little txt is amazing, but actually worked against you a bit this time, imo, ironically enough. It all fit, and didn't feel rushed at all, but still felt a bit small by the end. Lacking density, maybe.

Hm: Felix Orion - Disconnected Reality - I love how honest this felt, and your writing was really on point in places, but, on the flipside, it felt surprisingly common, given the theme. You've also been writing some great stuff these past few challenges, FO; great to have you around as another regular.

HM: Disappeared - Following Sirens - Hahaha! so damn blunt. Seemed to have a serious train of thought effect at times, but I loved it.

Fabulous entries all around this week, guys. I mentioned it to a few specifics, but a warm welcome to all the new regs. More material to read for me.
 

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
Votes:

1. Crunched - 01000001 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100101 01101110 01101010 01101111 01111001 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 01110010 01101111 01101001 01100100 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110011 01100011 01101001 01100110 01101001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01111001 01101111 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101001 01110010 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 01101100 01111001 00100000 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01110100 01100010 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100101 00101101 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100001 01100100 01100100 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110111 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110011 01110011 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110111 01100101 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00101110

2. Miri - Short, sweet, and not lacking in its thematic weight. Kinda too ambiguous at the ending for my tastes.

3. Bootaaay - "as the reaper raises an icy finger" Really fucking cool line. Perhaps too straightforward of a story. Not saying you need to be M. Night Shyamalan, just I felt like I knew the ending when I began it.

Hm. disappeared - Thanks for the late dose of humor. Made me laugh.

Hm. Ashes - Incredible imagery, but perhaps too convoluted in its weaving.

You've also been writing some great stuff these past few challenges, FO; great to have you around as another regular.

"Much obliged, partner."
 

Red

Member
1. Ashes - great use of language and image. Impacting and cohesive. Pulls me into a state of mind.

2. FelixOrion - I'm always drawn toward content pitting the body against the mind. I wish it went more places though. You get the concept of "disconnected reality" across quickly, but then go on to reinforce it. I don't think that reinforcement is needed, and would prefer seeing it hit more notes (the want for something -- "a glowing soul as kind" -- is stronger content, and more interesting than simply being, in this case).

3. Miri - Like FO said, short but sweet. I'm interested in the "he" character. Not sure about the first line. You have a really nice lyrical rhythm with: "From the Isle of Abhor/A distance far from civil shore," but "Isle of Abhor" is so direct. I love the way it sounds, but I'm not sure you should give such a punch right at the start. I prefer poems that build to a head, but that word "abhor" tells me so much right away.
 

Grakl

Member
Votes:

1. disappeared - Following Sirens
2. FelixOrion - Disconnected Reality
3. Crunched - 01101001001000000110000101101101
 

AnkitT

Member
RESULTS:

Crunched -10
Ashes1396 - 9
Bootaaay - 5
Miri - 5
FelixOrion - 4
disappeared - 3

Congratulations on the win, Mr. Crunched. On to the new thread!
 
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