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A female friend of mine said she wants to eat my cone. (Up: cone devoured)
- Thread starter Daft Punk
- Start date
- Status
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
Get ready
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
I'm just gonna go ahead and hit that lil Subscribe button. I don't wish to miss OP's story.
How About No
Member
And here I thought icecream was deemed too hot for GAF
But then we wouldn't have these threads
It's nothing, butt trash
But then we wouldn't have these threads
It's nothing, butt trash
OniBarubary
Banned
ChaosZeroX
Banned
Tell her you need to buy some groceries first.
MMBosstones86
Member
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Yo what?!
User 479360
Banned
Isn't a cone a penis? Or am I that out of touch?
I mean, intercourse.
Jim_Cacher
Member
OniBarubary
Banned
What's an ahego face?
How About No
Member
NoblesseOblige
Banned
This thread has developed pretty fast, and I'm not all that up to speed with the colloquialisms, but the OP's female friend divulged her intent to 'eat' the aforementioned poster's 'cone', and I'm supposed to interpret that as said friend wanting to have oral sex with OP via way of his sphincter.
Is this assessment correct?
Is this assessment correct?
OniBarubary
Banned
This is not remotely true. Butt stuff is almost always a sum positive.
The problem is the shame people associate with it that lets people use it to hurt them.
Do not be ashamed of your butt and it's interactions with tongues or objects!
it used to literally say she wanted to eat his ass, but a mod edited it because ice cream jokes
Probably because of this. Read at own risk NSFW/L
http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1237638&page=1
GuessMyUserName
Member
I let everybody know what buttstuff I partake in with no shame so I don't have this problem!
Damn, tempted to read, but i'm at work, so i won't be safe. Gotta read that later tho
Edit. OT; goodspeed OP, may the gods be with you
I guess it depends on the type of people you hang out with and whether or not you're a celebrity. One day, society will reach global butt-stuff acceptance I think.
I have not laughed this hard in years. Thank you.
BBWCongaLine
Member
Any and all ice cream related things on gaf is forever tainted for me now.
OniBarubary
Banned
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Threads like these remind me how vanilla I am. I've had women tell me I can have my way with them and no way some cone shit popped in my head that is nasty.
Ennosuke
Member
You are not alone. No idea why you would like to say yes to such an offer. Sure sex is cool, but never agree to such a thing.
Summer Haze
Banned
Sprinkles. Lol.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
vanilla lol
Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew
Banned
You gotta add chocolate to that vanilla!
(On a serious note, I was born in a generation where I started my flirting in MSN Messenger, and my flirtations ended right before the surge of Tinder. I see my vanilla friends enjoying threesomes and rimjobs on Tinder, and all I can do is cheer from be sideline since I'm tied down. Not that I'm not happy about being tied down since I can still get my rimjobs. Times have changed. Everyone just wants to have a good time. People into Kinky shit now! We vanilla bro!)
InfiniteBento
Member
i love eating ice cream.
i'm hype for you, op.
Pai Pai Master
Banned
Damn is op getting his Haagen dasz devoured right now? I'm mad jelly
None of my friends want to eat my cone
They aren't your real friends then.
paragonpro
Banned
You know...i used to like the booty, hell occasionally Ive eaten a girls booty, but, after reading that vice article, I think Ill staying away from that for a good long while.
Ok, so I just got back from my friend's house and time for the breakdown. So I go over to her place and she invites me in to her bedroom. I'm thinking it as just going to be a regular girl's bedroom, but no she had a rack of floggers and riding crops next to her clothes hamper off to the side and a rather ominous looking Rubbermaid toolbox sitting under it. The room was lit with candles and it just had a very sensual atmosphere going on. She asked me if I was ready and I said yes. She then asked me how I felt about it and if I still wanted to back out. I wasn't going to punk out so I said sure.
She then grabs me, spins me around so 'm facing her bed, undoes my belt from behind, grabs me by the neck, and growls, "Bend over and let me taste that ass."
Of course I freaked out and was like what the hell, but she brought up the fact that I had told her and a group of other friends while drinking that I'm a bit of a switch who leans towards submissive and she wanted to see just how submissive I was. She had me there so I said, "Ok as long as you don't go overboard and violate my consent." She said fine and then pushed me over while dragging my pants off until my lower half was exposed and ass raised in the air like a black Mt. Everest. You have to understand guys, I was nervous as hell because I had no clue what was about to happen. I trimmed my hair, washed my ass inside and out, and still wasn't prepared. She then began to grab my asscheeks and squeeze and lick them while slapping my ass every few seconds and pushed my head into the bed. She got on her knees and I could feel her breath on my ass and testicles as she began softly nibbling on them while slapping my ass still. Then I could feel her mouth next to my asshole and....
I screamed like a girl. Her mouth latched on to my ass like leech and I could feel her tongue delicately swirl around my ass ever so gently, but with enough pressure that I could feel it. I mean she buried her face in it. She took her tongue and started to penetrate me while I'm moaning and toes are being curled. Then she starts to move my ass on her tongue like she wants to get as much of it in me as possible. At this point I'm rock solid and she pulls out and grabs my dick and aims it backwards towards her and she swallows me in one gulp. Not only was this my first time getting my salad tossed, I also never had my dick sucked from the back before. My mind immediately thought of Mike Epps and Friday After Next and I chuckled. She thought I was laughing at her and she slaps my ass repeatedly while sucking me with an almost Hoover like force. That was enough to send me over the edge and I swear I must have shot out my soul down her throat.
She stood over me triumphant and I turned up to look at her. My face?
Her face?
After we cleaned up, she explained that she wanted to talk to me about possibly being her submissive, but she didn't know if I would be into the same things she would. We're going to a local BDSM group munch this weekend. So thank you GAF for convincing me to do it because you might have just hooked me up with an actual partner.
She then grabs me, spins me around so 'm facing her bed, undoes my belt from behind, grabs me by the neck, and growls, "Bend over and let me taste that ass."
Of course I freaked out and was like what the hell, but she brought up the fact that I had told her and a group of other friends while drinking that I'm a bit of a switch who leans towards submissive and she wanted to see just how submissive I was. She had me there so I said, "Ok as long as you don't go overboard and violate my consent." She said fine and then pushed me over while dragging my pants off until my lower half was exposed and ass raised in the air like a black Mt. Everest. You have to understand guys, I was nervous as hell because I had no clue what was about to happen. I trimmed my hair, washed my ass inside and out, and still wasn't prepared. She then began to grab my asscheeks and squeeze and lick them while slapping my ass every few seconds and pushed my head into the bed. She got on her knees and I could feel her breath on my ass and testicles as she began softly nibbling on them while slapping my ass still. Then I could feel her mouth next to my asshole and....
I screamed like a girl. Her mouth latched on to my ass like leech and I could feel her tongue delicately swirl around my ass ever so gently, but with enough pressure that I could feel it. I mean she buried her face in it. She took her tongue and started to penetrate me while I'm moaning and toes are being curled. Then she starts to move my ass on her tongue like she wants to get as much of it in me as possible. At this point I'm rock solid and she pulls out and grabs my dick and aims it backwards towards her and she swallows me in one gulp. Not only was this my first time getting my salad tossed, I also never had my dick sucked from the back before. My mind immediately thought of Mike Epps and Friday After Next and I chuckled. She thought I was laughing at her and she slaps my ass repeatedly while sucking me with an almost Hoover like force. That was enough to send me over the edge and I swear I must have shot out my soul down her throat.
She stood over me triumphant and I turned up to look at her. My face?
Her face?
After we cleaned up, she explained that she wanted to talk to me about possibly being her submissive, but she didn't know if I would be into the same things she would. We're going to a local BDSM group munch this weekend. So thank you GAF for convincing me to do it because you might have just hooked me up with an actual partner.
OniBarubary
Banned
As a straight dude this is so true. Straight people need to love their bodies more and play around with them. Put things in places, rub junk on other junk. Experiment! Live a little! If you don't like it, oh well, you move on to the next one.
This is also true. The true measure of friendship is how much you wanna tonguepunch each other in the butthole.
Edit: Yo hold up, I gotta take my lunch so I can read the report.
Always-honest
Banned
Haha, holy shit.
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